Chapter 2: Prelude to R&SNO

The city is quiet with only a certain amount of cars on the road and some amount of people walking on the sidewalk, suddenly the T-Car comes zooming through the street in a hurry with Robin and Cyborg. The car is playing "Jungle Boogie by Kool & the Gang" on the radio.

Cyborg: So remind me what we're dealing with again

Robin: 3 guys stole a pretty important brief case from the bank just a few minutes ago and we're basically trying to find them

Cyborg: Do we have any info on them so far?

Robin: Only the names, Brett, Rodger and Marvin

Cyborg: Anymore?

Robin: No that's it

Cyborg: Well then this should be pretty easy

Robin: Yes it should…you know I've been doing research on Amsterdam recently

Cyborg: Dude we got back from Japan like last week, and now you're suddenly interested in Amsterdam

Robin: Well Amsterdam seems like a cool place I mean it looks nice, it has the Anne Frank House and Marijuana is legal there…

Cyborg: Wait hold on, hash is legal there?

Robin: Yeah, from what I read it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, it's legal to sell it and it's legal to carry it. And that doesn't even matter because get a load of this…if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam it's illegal for them to search you, like literally that's the only right the cops actually don't have. Also I heard they have a park where it's legal to have open sex but that's just what I heard.

Cyborg: Oh man I'm going, that's all there is to it I'm fucking going

Robin: I figured that would be your reaction, but you know what the funniest thing about Europe is?

Cyborg: What?

Robin: It's all the little differences, I mean they have the same shit over there that we have here but over there it's just a little different

Cyborg: Example

Robin: Well for example you can walk into a theatre in Amsterdam and buy a beer, not like in those paper cups they put soda in I'm talking about a glass of beer and in Paris you can buy a beer in McDonalds. Do you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?

Cyborg: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese?

Robin: No see they have the metric system, they wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is

Cyborg: Then what do they call it?

Robin: They call it a…Royale with Cheese

Cyborg: Royale with Cheese?

Robin: That's right

Cyborg: I like that, what do they call a Big Mac?

Robin: Well from what I know a Big Mac is just a Big Mac but they call it "Le Big Mac"

Cyborg: Le Big Mac, wow the French never cease to amaze me. What do they call a whopper?

Robin: I don't know I didn't look up anything about Burger King, you know in Holland they put Mayonnaise on fries instead of Ketchup

Cyborg: Eww

Robin: I'm serious man, I looked it up on YouTube and they fucking drown them in that shit

Cyborg: Wow well remind me never to go to Holland than

At that point the radar starts beeping showing that it knows where the 3 men are

Robin: I think we found them

Cyborg: Let's roll

Cyborg then kicks it up to high speed and they speed through to the location, meanwhile the three men are hiding in an alleyway with the briefcase sitting on a box. They all stand around it in amazement

Brett: Here it is men, the thing we've been trying to get for weeks

Rodger: Its incredible boss, I must say you had some pretty impressive skills back there

Brett: Thank you Rodger, I'm just glad we got out of there before fucking Superman showed up or something

Rodger: Yeah we got lucky

Marvin: Was it really necessary to stop for fast food on the way though?

Brett: Well we were both hungry and out of sight from the police so I'm going to say yes it was fucking worth it, besides I like these burgers

The three men continued to stand around the briefcase meanwhile Robin and Cyborg were only a few meters away, the car pulled up close to the alleyway while Cyborg and Robin just sat in the car

Cyborg: Alright let's go get them…

Cyborg is about to get out of the car but is stopped by Robin

Robin: Hang on, I need to ask you something

Cyborg: Well…I suppose it could make a good dramatic entrance, this better be good

Cyborg gets back in the car and slams the door

Cyborg: Alright what's going on man?

Robin: Well I was wondering if Starfire had any bad background I should know about

Cyborg: man why are you so interested in Starfire, I mean sure you guys are "official" now I guess but you've been talking about her a lot the whole fucking trip. Why?

Robin: Well tomorrow I'm planning on taking care of her for the evening

Cyborg: Take care of her?

He makes a fake gun with his fingers and points it to his head

Robin: No not like that, I'm planning on taking her out to dinner and I don't want anything to go wrong. So does she have any bad background?

Cyborg: Well there was that Aqualad incident

Robin: What incident?

Cyborg: You don't know?

Robin: No

Cyborg: OK, see at one point she dated that Red Star dude remember him?

Robin: Yeah

Cyborg: Well at one point he had to go out of town for a day or two and left Starfire alone for that time, she was visited by Aqualad at some point and they just hung out you know all that bullshit. Then at some point she had a foot cramp so Aqualad gave her a foot massage

Robin: That's it?

Cyborg: yeah that's it, anyway it turns out Red Star is the jealous type because he found out and beat Aqualad almost to death. He's OK but he just can't talk properly, I'll say this if someone were to do that to me he'd better paralyse my ass because wether he was good or bad I'd kill him

Robin: I see, well I'll remember to keep my mind on that

Cyborg: Yeah just be careful, you don't want any past relationship drama it's all bullshit. Alright let's get into character

They both get out of the car and walk into the alleyway, they see the 3 men standing around the briefcase

Cyborg: HEY!

The three men turn around in a panic

Cyborg: Do you know who we are?

Marvin: Of course, you're a part of the Teen Titans

Cyborg: There we go that's right, now shut the hell up

Marvin back into a corner and sits down

Cyborg: Now I'm going to take a wild guess here…you're Brett right?

He points directly at Brett

Brett: How did you know?

Cyborg: I have your info in my database, so what's going on here?

Brett: We're just enjoying some hamburgers

Cyborg: Well it just so happens I love hamburgers, what kind?

Brett: Cheeseburgers

Cyborg: No no where'd you get them? McDonalds, Wendy's, Burger King, tell me where?

Brett: They're Big Kahuna Burgers

Cyborg: Isn't that the Hawaiian burger joint that just opened? I hear they have some tasty burgers but I wouldn't know I haven't had any myself, how are they?

Brett: They're good

Cyborg: Would you mind if I had one?

Brett: Yeah sure

Cyborg picks up the burger and takes a bite, he seems surprised by the sudden taste

Cyborg: Mmm, this is a tasty burger

He puts the burger down and points at the drink

Cyborg: What's in here?

Brett: Sprite

Cyborg: Good, mind if I have a sip to quench my first

Brett nods his head and Cyborg takes his drink, he sips on it three times and finishes the whole thing

Cyborg: Man that was good

He slams the paper cup down

Cyborg: Now do you mind if we take this brief case here?

Rodger: Actually if you could just not…

Cyborg: I don't remember asking you a goddamn thing! Robin get the case

Robin grabs the case and sits it down, he opens it and a sudden orange flash shines on his face

Cyborg: So are we happy? Robin!

Robin looks up from the case

Cyborg: Are we happy?

Robin: Yeah we're happy

Brett: Let me just say I apologise about how things are so fucked up, we got into this whole business with the best intentions really so if you could just let us go…

Cyborg then punches Rodger an knocks him unconscious

Cyborg: Oh I'm sorry did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that please continue, you were saying something about "best intentions"?

Brett says nothing

Cyborg: Oh you were finished, well then allow me to retort. What do I look like?

Brett: What?

Cyborg then throws the box the briefcase was once on across the alleyway

Cyborg: What country are you from?!

Brett: What?

Cyborg: What isn't a country I've ever heard of! Do they speak English in what?!

Brett: What?

Cyborg: ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT?!

Brett: YES!

Cyborg: Well then you know what I'm saying! WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE?!

Brett: WHAT?!

Cyborg: SAY WHAT AGAIN BRETT, I DARE YOU IN FACT I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!

Brett: I'M SORRY, you're black!

Cyborg: Go on!

Brett: You're a cyborg!

Cyborg: Do I look like a bitch?

Brett: What?

Cyborg's arm then becomes a gun and shoots Brett in the shoulder, Brett jumps back in pain

Cyborg: DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH?!

Brett: NO!

Cyborg: Then why are you trying to fuck me Brett?

Brett: I'm not

Cyborg: yes you are, yes you are Brett! And you know I don't like to be fucked by anybody except my girlfriend, do you read the Bible Brett?

Brett: Yes!

Cyborg: Well there's this passage I have memorised, Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers! AND YOU WILL KNOW MY NAME IS THE LORD WHEN I LAY MY VENGEANCE UPON THEE!"

Brett: No!

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!