What Becomes of Us

Chapter 2:

Finding You


I have to admit, I feel as though I've been struck down by a bolt of lightning. As if my brain had shut down all of its functions. Too quickly. Try as I might, hardly can I understand this tragedy. Only my conscience has been left intact by all this mess, still healthy and still whispering to me: What have you done? What have you done!

Something terrible I've done, and that's for sure. Do I know this young man, who is now struggling to break free of death's cold embrace? Who is agonizingly trembling, unable to die yet? I am not the one who shot him, but still... seeing him in such pain makes my heart melt. Furthermore, my awe has never been so high because... because he called my name! How can it be that he knows? He said we were friends once. He, the prince of Lucis and me... a nobody from Niflheim? No, this can't be for real. Lucis and Niflheim have never been at peace. To be honest, it is our kingdom's fault, not his, that the peace treaty was compromised. In Niflheim I have been taught, ever since I was young, that showing mercy to the enemy is an undeniable proof of weakness. Though I never wanted to become so tough, nor did I wish to let my heart turn to stone, I was obliged to follow that stupid set of military rules!

"My lord, do you need our help?"

Mortified, I glance back at the other soldiers. My fists ball up with the need to punch the one that shot the prince. God, am I thinking straight?! I don't answer them. I just stare in an idly way. I feel my lower lip quivering and that's when I realize my eyes are prepared to bleed tears. It's because I took the blame on me. I, too, have chased down the poor prince. I, too, wanted to kill him. But I'm not the one who shot him. No, I'm not! I never wanted to be a murderer!

"My lord! Time is short. We need to take the target back to..."

But the soldier doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence. Instead, one of his hands rushes to his forehead, where a red stain is beginning to spread. A gunshot echoes faintly far away. He falls on the ground before he knows that he's dead. The other one next to him shouts in fear:

"Blood!"

My own hand shivers madly on my pistol, which is steaming almost terribly. White smoke takes to the sky as I watch, terrified, how one of my comrades is dead, never to awake again. Just when I said I didn't want to be a murderer! Such cruel irony...

"You! You shot him!"

"Yes," I reply absent-mindedly, "because he hurt my friend."

"But he was just following orders!"

I raise my gun a little so that I can target the remaining soldier's forehead. Bitter words and meaningless threats I'd like to spit out to him. What I would truly like is to head back to Niflheim and shoot that self-proclaimed emperor Idola right in his black heart.

"Go to hell." I whisper under my breath, already crying at the crime that I am forced to commit.

Another gunshot. More smoke coming out of my pistol. A flock of birds resting in a nearby tree fly away, with desperate cries, as the second soldier collapses on his knees, begging me to help him. I just blow slightly into the tip of my pistol hoping that it will cool. I must look like a true cowboy now.

"Young master! Take this pain from me! I only wanted to serve you well, to stand by your side…"

The soldier crawls towards me in a meaningless attempt to seize salvation. And I decide to provide him with that, delivering the killing shot afterwards. I am gifted a loud scream from him – which was obviously produced by his fear – and then everything turns to silence. There! Now redemption is yours.

For nearly a minute, I still stand here, amazed by what has just happened. My mind makes a quick summary of the day: our people from Niflheim learned about the death of king Regis Caelum, then the emperor demanded his soldiers that they go looking for the last "pawn" in this game that needed to be annihilated. Kill on sight he first told us, but then he changed his mind. So great was his hatred for the king of Lucis, that he wanted to torture his son with his own hands. And look! We have been sent to Lucis, but the prince had been gone missing. A few searching parties decided to track him down, since it was clear to us that he'd run away. We set off for the nearest region: the wilderness that is these Duscaen lands! From all the soldiers out there that could have found him first… it was I who did. Such can fate be! Now I've killed my two comrades. Why? To protect the target? If Idola finds out he'll have my head for sure!

"Machina. Machina, please…"

A pained voice wakes me from my reverie. Confused and awestruck I might have been, but now I have to bear the consequences of my actions. Slowly, I turn around to face the prince.

"Please, kill me! Kill me now."

There is nothing left of his strength. Shattered it has been. The essence of his life – that royal blood of his – is splattered everywhere on the grass. It's grotesque to watch such a scene. I step closer, feeling immense guilt choking me, eating me alive. What should I do? He is dying. That shot could have killed anybody. His ribs will never be the same.

"Hey, hold still. Don't make another move!"

I furiously push my pistol inside my holster as I kneel down to aid the bleeding prince. However, I doubt there is something to help him with. If nothing else, I could ease his pain the same way as I did to that soldier. But my heart will not allow me to do so. No! It aches so bad. I've never laid eyes on the prince before, so why should I feel any remorse for him? It's so strange. My good heart is begging me to struggle as to keep him alive.

"I'd tell you I'm sorry. Though I'm absolutely positive that won't do you any good. It won't change a thing."

Dear God! Why has my voice become such a sweet whisper? Why am I talking to him as if he were a long lost friend?

"Machina. It's ever good to see you."

He rolls on his side to look me better in the eye. I can almost see my reflection – neat and clean and scared to death while he is in a deplorable condition.

"It's been such a long time. Yet it still feels like yesterday."

"W-What do you mean?"

Something strong, like an invisible bond of friendship is pushing me to brush his forehead with my fingers, soothing him. I gaze at his chest, whence his pain comes. I press a hand there, feeling his feeble heartbeat. This would be the time when I'd cry so hard, spared of the cruel Niflheim instructions which say 'soldiers must be sober, never showcasing their soft side'. The prince stretches one quivering hand to me and I gasp as I lay eyes on it. Since he touched his own wound, I needn't describe what I see, but I am astonished nonetheless. Smiling – or at least trying to smile – I take his hand in mine, hoping this simple act of mildness will comfort him somehow.

"Deep inside your mind, Machina, there still must lie our memories. You were a citizen of Lucis. You were my best friend!"

He is choking with his tears as he screams this out to me as if he just broke free of the pain of not saying it. I can barely prevent my jaws from dropping.

"But that's impossible. I was trained in Niflheim. All my life I've lived there!"

"That's a lie!" moans the prince and fresh tears dribble out of his eyes, "My father made sure you had a roof above your head when you were a hopeless child! He invested in you! He sent you to an orphanage nearby so that you'd still be close to our residence! I used to pay you regular visits! I used to take you home with me every day…"

I wish I could tell him to shut up already because all this shouting won't do him good, but he won't listen. He's too caught up in the moment. Should I believe what I hear? I remember I was recruited for the Niflheim army at a young age. I had no parents ever since then. Nobody to care for me. Monotone days of training, knowing no happiness nor pleasure. So I figure, part of what he says must be true. He mentioned we were friends…

"Machina, I'm begging you to trust! Trust me, I never wanted to get you in harm's way. I can tell you everything, but m-maybe first y-you'll let me rest for a little while…"

Slowly but surely, the prince's hand slips from mine. And then reality hits me square in the back with such amazing force that I nearly shriek in fear. I don't want him to die on me! Biting my lower lip, I reach lower to his level and try to lift his upper body from the ground. He breathlessly leans on me… sighing… groaning… crying.

"Yes, you need to rest," I whisper in his ear, "but you will do that alive, not dead. You hear me?!"

"W-Why did you kill your own people?" he asks, ignoring my reply as well as his pain.

I hate to be reminded of this.

"Because it was the only way I could have hoped for your safety. That shot won't be the end of you. You're stronger than to just lie down and die!"

There is a faint smile looming on his lips.

"My parents are… both dead. My country is being invaded… as we speak. However, my long lost friend has found me. Such is the reward I get to taste before I can go…

"Noctis, don't!"

I scream for him to hear my demand. His eyes flutter open. A powerless whisper escapes his throat.

"Did you call me?"

"The name just popped inside my mind. Out of nowhere. You are Noctis, the prince of Lucis, are you not?"

"At last... you've remembered!"

He lets his upper body in my arms as I brush the black locks of hair out of his eyes. Yes, he is right! I know these eyes. A long time ago they used to shine with joy. I'm forcing my mind to seek even more distant memories. If only I could see everything clear again! When I was assigned for the military force of Niflheim, they asked me my name. I just gave them a blunt answer: Machina. It was only later that I discovered how awkward it sounded, but I was already getting used to it. Noctis chose this name for me. I remember now! Here I can see the two of us - somewhere deep inside my mind - young and playful, chasing each other in the back of his garden. Oh, what have I done?!

"Noctis. It is you!"

I see several fresh traces of tears on his wasted cheeks, but what amazes me the most is that they're not his. No. They have dropped from my eyes. I am crying too. My tears are so salty that I am forced to shake my head in defiance.

"I thought I... I thought you..."

"I missed you, Machina."

"Let me fix this. Please. I can take care of you. In your condition, the Niflheim army needn't even pull a muscle to find you."

Noctis seems to agree, for he lays his head sideways on my lap. He looks... defeated. By fate itself. He looks like the helpless child I used to be. How the tables have turned! He is in desperate need now. We are both orphans. But I will not allow our destinies be left to chance! As I take a look around us, I can see some rocky structures near the lake, high enough to keep us safe from nightly danger. And if I take another better look, there is a small cave somewhere up there. A dusty footpath leads to it. Hope is ours.

"Hey, my prince. I think I've just found our haven for tonight."

"Sounds good." he murmurs, overcome by his pain.

"I'll keep you safe, Noctis."

I can feel my eyes brimming with strong friendship. He takes in what I say, but then sighs in the cool dusk air.

"Why bother? I'm already a lost cause."

I ponder a short while, searching a good and firm answer. Words which will undoubtedly blow his mind. I embrace him with my warm arms as a sincere smile looms on my lips.

"Because, Noctis, you once did the same for me."