Title: Love's Strategy - A Game of Hide and Seek
Author: Hell's Dark Tenshi
E-mail: hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Does not belong to me
Warning: Shounen-ai, violence later on
Summary: Nagi is starting to see life at a different perspective, will he try to give life a second chance?
And would he accept a friendship that could change his life around? Nagi POV
Rating: PG-13
Notes: Second chapter, Nagi thinks more about his life and also tries to learn a new sport.
Chapter 2 - Just A Tiny Smile
The rest of the class passed with relative ease. I managed to avoid blows that would knock me unconscious. My friends had been so kind as to teach me the different ways that someone could catch a player off balance by pure mistake.
Wait a minute, I paused in the sidelines for a moment, when did I start referring to them as my friends? Surely it had been a mistake on my part. Then I thought over the freelance way the word seemed to fit in with the sentence. I realized what I'd been trying to deny for some time...They really were my friends because they cared about me.
Schwarz were also my friends in a different way. They were my partners in everything, and also my family above all. I got by because they chose to take me in. They needed my talents as much as I needed them. Now, in my new found friends, I found a different need, the need to belong in a normal society that had rejected me so long ago. The need to experience what was deprived of me in my childhood years.
Childhood...I am still a child. It just seems that I am so old and mature because I have seen more deaths than twenty others might see in a lifetime. I knew that I was different from them, yet a part of me wanted to try this.
For the second time in my life, I gave into this desire. The first time was with Tot. The little Schreient girl who had amused me with her childishness. While I had grown too fast inside, she had grown too slow, both because of what we had seen. I spent some time with her and grew to a sort of bond to her. She balanced me out. Yet she was also so dangerous. I had fancied myself in love with her, yet looking at it now, I saw that what I felt was that desire again. To care for someone, and I did, I cared for her like she was my best friend or sister. At that time, when I kissed her, I thought that yes, maybe I could fulfill her dreams.
But love? No. I had not loved her. Even in a sibling sort, I had no love for her. Yes, I cared, but that was as far as it went. I didn't know how to love back then, and I still didn't.
Someone came into my line of vision, "Are you alright Nagi?" The tone was a bit concerned. Concerned? For me? For my well being? An alien feeling surged inside of me, oddly, one of joy and satisfaction. That what? That I was cared for? Yes, that was it.
I realized that I had started to worry the person, so I turned my head slightly and replied "Yes, I'm alright." The guy suddenly smiled and both of us started walking together.
After the last period of the day, which was my option Music, I joined the rest as they headed to the shop they usually went to.
They were a bit loud and cheerful, as usual, and one of them started talking about gym. "Finally, you signed up for the team, now you can see everything you've been missing!" The statement was directed at me and I nodded my head in acknowledgement.
"What have I been missing?" I decided that I might as well humour them. "Why don't you tell me?"
Naoto, the guy who had been concerned for me earlier on, cracked a big grin and replied, smiling, "Well, we'll be practicing after school, we'll also play other schools." He paused to take a sip of his soft drink, then continued, "Since floor hockey is a relatively long season, extending until some time after winter break, the schools close to ours decided to make it more fun."
"We're gonna partner up with another school," another guy interrupted when Naoto took another drink. This guy's name was Hinashi, but everyone called him Hashi to shorten it. "Then we'll play with that school all the way through until the finals. There are two identical trophies that are handed out to the two schools that win the finals together. It was really an exercise to bring all the schools together after they saw how competitive everyone was getting, but the students enjoyed it so they just kept it. It shows school spirit to be able to work with a school that normally you rival against." Now he took a deep breath, having run out after saying so much.
Naoto beat him back for continuation, mainly as a sign that he didn't appreciate being interrupted, "They rotate the schools every year, and I believe this year, we're paired with Toshima High School. I have friends going there and they're also boasting of an unbeatable team. This would be a fight to remember!"
"Well with Nagi and our skills, we'll make quick competition of the other schools!" There was a cheer that followed this exclamation and the guy continued, "We'll hit them so hard that they'll land on their asses with their wheels in the air!" Obviously, they just wanted to play for fun, but if they could win while they're at it, why not?
A sudden realization hit me at the mention, "What do you mean wheels?" I was almost afraid to ask, because I was sure I knew the answer.
Hashi patted me on the back. "Yeah, wheels. You know? Like rollerblades?" I did know, and that was what I was afraid of.
I chose to take a small bite of my snack and took a sip of my tea, before I calmly put my glass down and replied, "I do not know how to rollerblade." It was a simple statement that stopped the talking, and I continued, "Furthermore, I have never been on rollerblades before," I was just studying their faces now, "and I'm not exactly sure that I wan--"
"--don't worry!" Naoto was the first to talk after the silence, conveniently interrupting my protest. "We'll teach you! I myself only learned this summer! We'll make a sport out of you yet!"
Everyone started talking again and I replied more to myself, "That's what I was afraid of."
No one seemed to notice or paid any heed to what I muttered. "Well, why don't you come to the roller rink tomorrow after school?" Naoto asked me when they were preparing to leave the shop. "Everyone needs to brush up on their skills anyways, and I also need the practice."
I thought that since it was in the afternoon, I guessed it was okay. Tonight I would be taking care of one of the three key rival groups that could take Schwarz out with planning, but not if Schwarz surprised them and killed them first. If I was going to be tired, that would be in the morning during Physics. I would probably be well awake by Music since the teacher believed experience was the best teacher. "Fine," I agreed almost reluctantly, the worse that could happen was that I'd make a fool of myself. "Where is it?" with that said, I felt a sense of anticipation for tomorrow, but at the same time, I still didn't think I'll do that good.
"Well, look who decided to grace us with his presence," a familiar voice drawled at me, "any smarter yet?" Schuldig said the last part with a smirk.
The door closed behind me and I ignored Schuldig. Everyone in the house knew that I was going to school. To further my knowledge, I had told them. It was true, besides, how would I explain that maybe I was wrong about the world? Schuldig would probably laugh at me, Farfarello really wouldn't care and I suspected that Crawford had found that I seemed to be different, but hadn't said anything on it.
As I was heading up the stairs, the door slammed behind me, signifying that Schuldig left to waste time until the night's mission. Speaking of which, I might as well make sure everything was ready. I checked on the transmitter bugs that had to be carefully installed tonight. It was because many of Estet's groups and also the curious people would be milling there after the deaths and we needed to hear all the viewpoints to find out where they stood.
Satisfied that all my equipment was in perfect working condition, I turned on my laptop and started working again on my Physics assignment. I managed to get more information than I had in the past two days of the weekend. I must have really been distracted to have missed these sites...Well I had been thinking about how my school experience was going.
After two hours I closed down his screen, assured that I had enough information for the entire essay. I had started to write the first paragraph in the first page out of five. I didn't want to be redundant so I was thinking about how to pose my problems without going back to refer to them too much. I was thinking all about this while I ate my dinner, pausing only once when Farfarello entered the room.
The irishman just smiled wickedly and stated, "People will die tonight." Then continued on his way to the living room to bug Schuldig.
After dinner, everyone gathered in the living room to have on last debriefing on the mission. Crawford set down a thick folder and began talking.
"It seems that everything is going according to plan for us," his smile was more of a smirk, "we should be able to take care of them quite easily." With that, we headed towards the car and drove off into the black of night.
Upon arriving, we went to our assigned places. I was stationed to make sure that the guards didn't alert anyone until the designated time. I made it inside then set about to planting the bugs. My last stop was the main room that the group met in. It could be called an office if it wasn't for the fact that it was much more highly guarded.
I thought that this group deserved to die anyways. They even had to hire guards to protect them, how pathetic, they were supposed to be killers. But then if they entrusted their lives to some strangers, it really wasn't my problem.
I met the others in the hallway before the door. Farfarello charged into the door with an almost inhuman yell. We took it as a signal and attacked at the same time.
I found the found the group in a mild state of shock and panic, but they quickly snapped out of it upon seeing me. One of them charged me and I dodged then used my powers to make the man slam into the wall behind me. I detachedly remembered seeing one of my friends do that to make their opponent slam into someone from their own team. Of course, they didn't have the powers I had.
Farfarello appeared behind two that remained and executed them in a bloody finish. Personally, I didn't really see the significance of slicing the victims into tiny little pieces, but since it satisfied and kept Farfarello at bay, who was I to argue? I had experienced times before when the wild Irishman was restless and it took more of my power to put him in his room.
We would let Farfarello out at meal times and some hours before nights so that he had access of the house, but he was not let outside. Farfarello didn't seem to mind as long as no one took away his knives or threatened him.
I stopped thinking about the subject as I climbed the steps to go to my room. I quickly changed out of my clothes and into my pyjamas. My last thought before sleep took over was a command to my biological clock to wake me before my alarm clock.
I dragged myself away from Physics class. I headed to the water fountain and splashed myself with a few drops of water to wake myself up. I would just be glad of the time when Schwarz finally stopped fighting and killing. Then, and maybe then, I may have a chance to live a normal life anew.
All through Math I kept thinking about my previous engagement to meet at the roller rink. I was really starting to regret my decision. Come to think of it, I'd look really ridiculous in rollerblades. I usually stood straight and composed. I would probably look extremely silly trying to fight for my balance.
In Gym, I tried my best to pay attention. It certainly wouldn't do to get into an accident. I decided then and there that I actually look silly doing anything other than standing or running. Ducking or jumping are certain movements that I certainly wasn't used to and had no reason to do for years. I'm too self conscious. Though I couldn't really help it, somehow it was still hard to forget the times when I was called a freak and excluded from games all because of not being able to explain what it was that I was able to do. People's natures tend to cause them to be scared of that which they couldn't explain. Even though I knew that, only now did I start to actually think about it and let go of some bitterness.
I had been thinking about my life in general. And especially, about my future. I knew that I didn't want to grow up following orders from some Estet person so I had helped get rid of them. And then what? What would I do? I could now have a chance at finishing school and getting a job. While I would never fully fit in, I had grown to accept that, I wouldn't have to estrange myself from everyone else.
I shook my head slightly at the turn my thoughts were taking. I decided it best to just concentrate on the game. I was still trying to get the grasp at shooting when the whistle blew, and I headed to the change rooms to change out of my gym clothes.
Even though I was supposed to be the brain of the team, I was still supposed to have enough skill to help them out also. That was the part I really was lacking in. I wonder how I'll do in rollerblades. I almost shuddered at the thought.
Ahh...Music. I played the flute. It was really because of the fact that it seemed to be the easiest to learn. I never really had much experience with musical instruments and had rarely ever touched one. It also didn't require as much breath as some of the wind instruments, such like a clarinet or trumpet. Not that I'd ever try to play those instruments. I found those types of instruments too loud, and loud noises often lead to unpleasant memories. I preferred to be able to think while I played. The flute produced liquid music, the soft kind that was gentle to the ears and head.
Come to think of it, I would have chosen the piano except for the fact that it was harder to reach the keys because of my small fingers. And the piano already had a player anyways. I was making exceptional grades in Music. The teacher took into consideration that I was new to both the school and the class. It was in my school profile that I had never taken a music class before.
I didn't get as much practice with my flute as I'd like because I usually just set about to reading over and learning music theory. I learned about the different notes and places. I had much better memory than my classmates, well actually, better than most people. It just seemed weird to learn about something and then forget about it a few weeks later as most of my friends seemed to do. Then, I actually understood stuff, whereas they really didn't have much interest in their studies.
The teacher settled came in the classroom and the class started to quiet down considerably. He motioned for everyone to take their places and pick up their instruments. He then proceeded to begin the day's lesson with "I hope everyone practiced over the weekend and yesterday night."
This is going to be the longest class of the day.
Finally! The class has finally ended! I met up with Naoto at the front gate and proceeded to walk alongside of him to the roller rink. I paid the admission fee and also a rental fee for a pair of rollerblades. I found some that had buckles on them and they somewhat dug into my feet. I put them on without much of a hassle and stayed seated on the bench since I didn't want to try and stand up.
"Here, let me help you." Naoto stood up, wobbled a bit, then straigtened up. He proceeded to come over to where I was sitting and offered his hand. I accepted and he mainly pulled me up with his strength. I had this dreadful feeling of unstability when I was up. I was still leaning on his arm so that I didn't fall and furthermore I wasn't sure that I could stand up straight without falling back, so I didn't.
Soon some other guys skated over to us and started my lesson. "First you really should try to stand up straight," the person who said that started slowly pushing me up, "Naoto here has got you. You don't have to worry about him dropping you.
"Try it, there, that's better." Another one encouraged me. So soon, after a few minutes of fussing, I was left standing there on my own. They all leaned back and smiled as if it was some great accomplishment, then they promptly crowded around me again. They held onto my arms and steered me to the rink. I went along as stiff as a log, without moving my feet because they were pushing and pulling me anyways.
After more coaxing, a few more bruises than I thought necessary and two hours of crammed lessons, I was doing alright. I can manage to move without falling, move while standing in the correct position, turn, glide, stop and fall. I couldn't believe that I had to learn how to fall. But then, they were correct and I didn't fight with them.
"Ano...can we please take a break?" I asked in the voice that I could muster. I spent most of those hours letting out startled sounds when I fell because I really wasn't used to it. I had to keep concentrating on not using my powers for once, which proved to be a bit harder than actually learning to rollerblade. It was because I was so used to putting my powers to use as a defense against anything that could hurt me physically.
"Fine," Hashi agreed, and I let out a tiny sigh of relief, "you're doing good Nagi, I knew you were a fast learner. You're just like Naoto, didn't really give us much trouble when he learned." We headed to the concession to buy drinks to refresh ourselves. I acknowledged the compliment with a nod and sat down before I fell.
"Why don't we meet here again tomorrow?" The voice came from a boy called Haji, "Nagi-kun seems to be doing fine and we can teach him to go even faster!"
I was a bit shocked at the suffix added to my name, but I didn't really show it. I supposed it was fine anyways. Haji turned to me and I replied, "That's fine, I'll try to learn enough before we meet the other school." I paused, then continued, "When are we meeting them?"
"Next week, Tuesday evening," Naoto answered my question then grinned, "we're going to Toshima and we get to eat there. It's mainly an evening to get acquainted. After that, we'll be meeting every day after school for practice."
"Wow, he remembered all that!" exclaimed Hashi laughing. "He does have some hope!" Everyone burst out laughing at that statement. "And would you look at that! Nagi-kun's smiling!"
Indeed, I was. I hadn't really realized it, but a tiny smile had settled across my face. I was just somewhat happy to be here with them. Maybe, I've found my place...And my smile widened just a bit more.
A/N: Another day, another chapter...umm...actually it's another three weeks, another chapter...hehe? I changed it to Nagi's POV because I decided it was much better that way. I can really get into the character the way I can't with third person or omniscent point of view. Please tell me if I made any mistakes such as referring to Nagi as "he, him, his or himself" rather than "I, me, my or myself" I caught the mistakes most of the times, but I think some slipped. The first chapter was originally in omniscent so I had to change the words and sentence structure. Again, please point out any mistakes!
Well, I am going to start school soon, but I hope to get the third chapter before school starts. I won't be on the computer as much at the beginning of the school year at September. Pardon me, but I don't know how the school system works in Japan. I'm kinda going with North America here.
Oh yeah, and I just want to say that I myself had never tried rollerblading until Grade 7, and I managed to learn very well in one day. My friends taught me at a birthday party.
If you have any questions or comments, please put them in reviews or e-mail me at hellsdarktenshi@hotmail.com and I will address them.
