Summary: When Kagami asked for the heavens to send him a much desirable little brother, he actually meant a little brother. Not a creepily obsessive diabolical fanboy with a petulance for pranking. He also doesn't remember signing up for having to deal with said brother's equally hyperactive, sadistic delinquent of a girlfriend. [Time Travel to The Warring States Period. Shisui/fem!Naruto.]
Warning: Time-travel; foul language; may the heavens have mercy on Uchiha Kagami; more to come...
[ Pairings (for now/more might be added later on):
Shisui/fem!Naruto
Tobirama/fem!Izuna
Kagami/Kagami'sUnnamedFutureWaifu ]
[ - Speech: "Talk no Jutsu,"
- Direct Thoughts in POV Flashbacks: Shall Prevail.
- Regular Thoughts: 'No Matter What.'
- Bijuu/Spiritual Speech: "Dattebayo!" ]
¡Disclaimer!: Kishimoto™.
Akai Konoha no Nami ni Oboreru
Second Abscission - Kagami wants a Refund.
Uchiha Kagami stared at his four year old brother. Who stared right back. While mixing questionable ingredients into the messy concoction set in a pot over a brick oven in their rather tiny kitchen.
He blinked. Just to clarify that he was seeing everything correctly. He blinked again, his eyes set on the chubby arm as it moved in a hypnotizing circular motion.
His mouth hung open.
"What are you doing?" the words finally came out. As a respectable seven year old, and as the reasonable and much considerate older brother that he is, Kagami would very much like to tell you that his voice did not squeak in fear as he asked the question he very much did not want an answer to. But alas, curiosity killed the cat.
Shisui did nothing but stare in return as the scowl plastered on his face became even more prominent by the second. And maybe it was Kagami's imagination but his younger brother's hand seemed to be mixing at twice the speed than before.
The older boy's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "are you literally cooking up a new prank?"
Some more silence passed before a very haughty, a very confident response was uttered out of the chronic liar's mouth.
"No."
'Why that lying conniving little-' the older boy coughed to stop his less than appropriate trail of thoughts from being carried away. The seven year old opened his mouth to reprimand the younger boy before he noticed that the room was now minus one in population. He looked to the brick oven and noticed the lack of fire and, more importantly, the lack of a cauldron on said fire.
"Oh no," he muttered in fear. It was only time before someone found themselves at the end of a very horrid prank. Or a very horrid punishment. Again.
He exhaled slowly after a very deep intake of breath. Oh well, he's learned to live in fear by now. He could survive a little longer. No problem.
(He's a liar, just like his rotten brother, but he'll never admit it. For he only lies to himself. For the sake of his steadily decreasing health. Uchiha Kagami promises himself some retribution.)
It was not long before his ears started bleeding via a very painfully loud scream coming from the direction of the children's training ground area.
Seems like the Uchiha Compound's very own mischief maker has struck again.
(Hurrah.)
Sometimes Kagami wishes that he had a more normal sibling. When his mother informed him of his new and upcoming status as an older brother five New Year's ago, he was, needless to say, very excited. Izuna, who is the same age as him, already had both an older brother and two younger siblings on the way so it wasn't like he was asking for too much. All he ever wanted in his sibling was someone he can spoil, someone he can teach, and maybe even someone he can rely on when things got too difficult. Someone who would actually listen to him.
He'd even wished on the stars that the heavens send him only the best angel they could offer.
But instead he got a Shisui.
Yes, a Shisui. Because at this point, he was 98% positive that Shisui needed his own classification in the Most Dangerous Species Alive as Classified by the Society of Shinobi Survival and Warfare.
(He may have made up that ridiculous title, but he would bet his entire savings that there was a real life scroll set out there with an equally ridiculous title and ranking.)
He wouldn't even be surprised if his brother had a Flee on Sight warning labeled in the Land of Fire's own copy of the Bingo Book.
Just a few days ago, he'd seen Shisui hanging out with Madara-sama's younger sister of the same age. It'd stuck him as odd considering that he's never once seen his brother with someone around his age before. They even had arguments over his lack of ability in making friends which resulted in his hair being permanently dyed the most atrocious shade of pink he'd ever seen. (He would never admit it, but he almost had a heart attack when he realized how badly this jeopardized his future career as a ninja.) He had swallowed his embarrassment down as he asked just about every adult for help before realizing that if even Tazuna-sama couldn't do anything about it, then there was nothing else he could do but politely ask the source of the problem for the solution. But, of course, that plan was never going to succeed and after getting on his knees and begging the little monster to return his hair back to normal, he'd decided to let the subject go completely.
And it soon became apparent that he hadn't, in fact, learned his lesson as not three days later, he once again discreetly nudged the little human abomination in the right direction of making lasting friendships. Only for it to backfire with him getting stuck with some sort of permanent itching powder lightly glued to his skin. He wasn't even spared in his sleep. Alas, all it did was make the other children even more scared of Shisui and the whole incident ended with an even more strained relationship between the young rascal and his fellow peers.
He'd never felt so lost before. Like he'd somehow failed his little brother.
For all that Shisui was a big disappointment in all the expectations he'd had of his younger sibling, he was still his little brother. His to protect. His to love. And his to guide.
And with that thought, Kagami sets out on yet another journey to find what his wayward sibling was up to and guide him down the proper path of a respectable Uchiha.
But as he looks at the upside down hanging form of cousin Reiji, who he has frequently caught bullying cousin Umehana when no one was looking, he gets the feeling that may not be truly necessary after all. Shisui may be a complete imbecile at times, but when he did sweet things like this with everyone in the clan being none the wiser, Kagami feels like he has gotten the best little brother the world had to offer.
(Curiosity may have killed the cat, but sometimes, satisfaction brought it back.)
Hmm. Maybe wishing on a star does have some merit, after all.
It was three days later that he woke up with unnaturally purple glowing skin (after stealing Shisui's desert the night before) that he decided that enough was enough and found himself facing his mother with a very serious request.
"Mother, is it too late get a refund on little brothers?"
For some reason, she only giggled in reply.
Bummer.
Naruto opened her eyes and blinked as she came face to face with bloodiest shade of red she has seen. She opened her mouth to ask where she was when all that came out was a suspiciously sounding gurgle of 'boo!'
Holy Moly. Was she really a baby now? She knew it was going to happen, but she still hadn't wrapped her head around it properly and now that she was finally here, things seemed to be going too fast for her. She turned her head around and felt a headache coming from all the bright red she was seeing. The woman holding her was probably her mother's midwife. She tried turning her head to the side, but it felt too heavy and bobbled slightly before seizing movement all together.
Great. She had no control over this body. Just what she needed.
She could only hope Kurama was faring better. The seal on her body was still active, but Kurama was likely merging with his younger self considering that he hadn't ended up as a sealed beast in this timeline yet.
The onslaught of an intense headache took over her tiny forehead and before she could control it, she was screaming at the top of her lungs for some much needed food.
Oh no, this is going to be disgusting. Having a memory of herself breastfeeding from a woman who was probably as old as she was before her current demise was definitely something she could have lived without. Along with this ever-growing obnoxious headache that came as a result of her own ugly screaming.
She questioned why babies would do such a thing as to torture themselves. This felt worse than the time her heart got pierced by Sasuke's Chidori. At least she could say she was passed out long before her brain could catch up and make her feel the true extent of her body's pain. Just thinking about it made her shudder.
(Now that she was reminded of it, she realized she never really got the bastard to apologize for could have happened to her after that particular incident. Dang it all.)
Well, all the upcoming horror aside, at least she could say the operation was successful. 'Or maybe not.'
( Next Abscission - Naruto has Done Goofed. )
Hahaha look at how I'm wasting my time. Also, I forgot to mention last chapter, but I've had this story sitting in my flash drive for about 3 years now collecting dust. The original was more serious, but I didn't like the feeling of it as I reread it recently, so I decided to change it up a bit. Which is why I'll have to rewrite new content for this as I go. Also, Izuna and Kagami having the same age is planned even if canon suggested that they were a few years apart. But like I stated last chapter, what isn't explicitly stated as canon gives me leverage to do whatever the hell I want in my story as this is not canon-compliant.
For those of you complaining about me being slow, I'd like you to know that no, I wasn't slacking off, and yes, I was working on another longer story for a different fandom (D Gray-man/DGM) that has me stumped on how to finish the chapter. I'm still figuring how to fill in the last 12 paragraphs with more detail so that it doesn't seem rushed.
Thank you for all your lovely reviews for they have given me motivation to right more! I honestly wasn't expecting it to be this popular...
ALSO! I want to know if you guys want me to make this Madara/fem!Hashirama or Hashirama/Mito (or maybe fem!Hashirama/male!Mito)? I'm not going to do Hashirama/fem!Madara in this tho; that's for another one of my fics that I'm going to update soon called A Crimson Love (shameless self-promotion). Your opinions will be valued even if I ultimately decide not to rely on the majority.
