Cry and Shame

Cry and Shame

"I knew it all along John you don't need to worry I just wanted to hear it from you, to make sure that my suspicions weren't wrong." I said looking at him steadily reading all of the emotions playing in his eyes.

He leaned over and positioned himself above me on my looking down at me with his love in his eyes. "You must think I'm horrible liking you that way though you're my sister, I mean we aren't blood-related so it shouldn't matter but I do love you. Do you think that's so horrible, to love you?" he said leaning down until his face was only about an inch from mine, my heart began to race, this wasn't going how I'd planned it to.

"No John I don't think it's bad you're right we aren't blood-related so it doesn't matter if you love me, but think about Louisa, how would she feel you know she hates me." I said stuttering slightly nervous at his closeness.

His eyes brightened slightly and I unconsciously licked my lips my eyes getting heavy he leaned down the rest of the way and brushed his lips against mine, once, twice, three times. He lifted his head and I was breathless looking up at him in utter shock. I was more than slightly surprised at what he'd just done, yet I lifted my head closing my eyes and he met me halfway as we pressed our lips to each others gently. His left hand now cradling my head while his other supported him above me, I felt his tongue brush against my bottom lip asking for access and I pulled back slightly out of the kiss and looked up at him.

He looked at me shocked we heard the front door open announcing the arrival of his mother and he got off of my bed and went to his room knowing that she'd go there first to look for him expecting to see him doing his homework before dinner.

I sat there on my bed hand to my lips still in shock over what had just transpired; I couldn't love John could I? He was my brother so I couldn't love him right? But he was perfect and amazing, god he was absolutely wonderful, and I craved more; but it was wrong for me to crave more wasn't it, I was wrong for us to be together because he was my brother related by blood or no right? I probably sat there for five minutes concentrated on these thoughts, I wasn't quite sure what to think anymore I mean if felt right and it seemed okay but was it truly, for things aren't always what they seem right?

"Hey get out here you need to hurry and prepare dinner my poor John is getting hungry and he can't waste his poor energy on your dawdling little ass." Louisa screeched at me through my door. I finally got off of my bed and headed downstairs she'd bought the things for chicken parmesan and pea soup, meaning that I'd have to cook another three course meal starting with Italian chicken salad and finishing with the parmesan giving them a five minute wait for digestive process and ending with the cheesecake I had to make earlier that day.

I knew that John was going to come in and watch me work he always does which is what I had never understood about him because sometimes he would even help me when I was cooking because he was taking the cooking class at school. Every once in a while if he'd cooked that day he'd bring me food knowing that I only ever packed his lunch for that day because didn't have the time to make two lunches at night or in the morning and Louisa wouldn't be happy if I were to make John late because he has to drive me to school.

Just as I thought it again John walked in and sat on one of the counter stools and watched me. I felt a little uncomfortable after what had just transpired in my bedroom about 45 minutes ago my hand kept reaching for my lips, my lips which suddenly felt like something was missing, something I thought might coincidentally be his lips; his perfect, perfect lips, they intoxicated me and left me wanting more, more of something that could get us both in a lot of trouble, something that could get us into some majorly deep shit with Louisa. Yet I couldn't stop the cravings and the wanting feelings I was having as I worked at a hesitant pace……..