I don't own Red vs Blue or Fallout. All are owned by Rooster Teeth and Bethesda Software

Simmons & Grif

Chapter 2: the Not so Lonesome Road

Simmons?

Yeah?

Ever wonder what we're doing out here in this wasteland?

Grif, I told you a dozen times, this is the adventure setting we've picked. We're doing the events of Fallout New Vegas, Fallout 3 and Fallout 4

Great. And afterwards, we head home right?

Wrong. Afterwards the readers will vote on what game crossover will be next.

Sighs, ok fine. Let's get this over with

That's better! Ok, uh, I think our first Fallout journey is… Lonesome Road

Huh? You're gonna leave me out there with man eating animals, weird creatures, madmen and exploding bombs?

No, dumbass, I'm going with you

But-but that defeats the purpose of why its called Lonesome Road

Well, that's the power of FanFiction Grif. You can basically break all the rules with writing!

Yeah, I guess. Well I know I'm gonna regret this but… let's go in

Well, so much for my anticipation

Yeah, I know. Nothing here but sand, wrecked cars, bombs, all kinds of useless lousy junk

Hey-hey, tha-that's a Deathclaw!

You sure? It looks like someone mixed one of the monsters from Gremlins with a big dumb animal

…I think you made it mad Grif

Pfft, yeah right? What's he gonna… AAAAAHHHHH

GRIF! YOU CANT GO BACK! WE GOTTA DO THE WHOLE THING!

SCREW THE WHOLE THING! I WANNA LIVE!

There! See, the thing's dead.

Really?

No, it's still breathing and it's very hungry for an orange flavored Grif nugget

That wasn't even close to being funny

Oh come on Grif, I'm messing with you, like always

Sure you are. Ok let's keep moving

Hey, check it out! The Deathclaw has new guns!

Wow! I immediately take back all my criticisms about this place

….

OK I CHANGED MY MIND I HATE IT HERE

Grif, it's alright! The Tunnelers are dead

Ok, then what the hell are all those squashed shells?

I dunno. Must've been their breeding eggs

Ok, seriously man, NOT funny.

Grif?

mmmm….oh yeah Joana, gimme some

Grif?

Ohhh yeah… that's the spot. Right in the Grifball

GRIF YOU LAZY BASTARD GET UP

AAAAAHHH! SARGE! WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

Surprised? I just made my first of many cameos in this here story! Adios muchachos! And Simmons?

Yes, sir?

Be sure to keep messing with Grif. Oh and next time, make him run through that river up to the Fort bare naked

Ohhh you GOT it, sir.

I can still hear you guys, you know that…

LALALALALLAALA WE'RRREEEEE NOOOOTTTT LIIIISSSTEEENNNINNNNG

….

Ok, we're finally out and now… WHAT THE CRAP?

I think this must be where Ulysses wanted us to go to.

A silo? What the hell's a freaking silo doin way out in the middle of this bum-fudged land?

Seems like Ulysses built it to nuke either the NCR, the Legion or maybe…

What?

Simmons, come on what?

US

….ok that was obvious

Yeah, it sure sounded that way

Ok enough monkeying about, we got work to do

Whoa whoa whoa, hold on Grif

What?

You said monkeying about

I did. What's the big importance?

You remember when we got sent into the future and where you, me and Sarge had a secret meeting and…

Mm-hmm. I remember. I also recall you tricking me into investigating on the Blues and that bowling ball

EXCUSE ME? DO I EVEN LOOK LIKE A BOWLING BALL TO YOU KNUCKLEHEADS?

…Andy?

Yes, I'm BACK, beaches! I inhabited ED-E's body so I can "help" you two morons into getting outta here

Great. What do we get?

…you'll see. Now get the lead out, Ulysses doesn't like to be kept waiting

Simmons?

Yeah, man?

Why do I get the feeling we're being followed?

Grif, don't be ridiculous. There's positively NO WAY those natives could've tracked us all the way to Ulysses' temple

Tune into Chapter 3 when we see that for the first time GRIF WAS RIGHT!