Good evening :) I didn't think I'd update within a day, but I suprise myself sometimes. These chapters are quick to write though...once I start, it all comes together.
I personally don't like this one quite as much as the last one, however it is a bit longer. I'm really looking forwards to future chapters because I have some specific events in mind :)
Thanks a million to Reptile Princess, Woah, Ithileon, and Poutik for lovely reviews! 4 in less than 24 hours, that makes me proud :)
PS, I do not own V, Lady GaGa, Ke$ha, or Justin Bieber.
Anyway Marcus, I won't keep ya waiting.
Yo. What up, Earth?
Just kidding. I don't talk like that. I'm not allowed.
Where did I leave off? Right, I was summoned off for a consultation. About freaking time. I've never been so happy to arrive somewhere. Like I said, seriously getting sick of apples and Go Fish.
So I get down to Anna's little dictator room, and -suprise, suprise- she's in the process of deciding what to wear for the first broadcast. She's looking for something the human population can relate to. She asks my opinion, but unfortunately I don't have enough basic knowledge to supply a bullshit answer on women's clothes. She glares at me, which I take to mean "Go figure it out...bitch."
So I scamper (no, actually I only walk. Scampering isn't allowed.) off to the master computer room where I search "popular human women". There's about a gazillion results regarding a "Lady GaGa" a "Ke$ha" and a "Justin Bieber" so I gather information on aforementioned famous women and report back to Anna.
She makes her Well-Done-Marcus-You-May-Have-A-Cookie face (not than I've ever actually gotten a cookie) and proceeds compile an outfit based upon the information I have supplied. She decides to take ideas from each of the "style icons."
First step, the Bieber Hair. This doesn't turn out exactly how she planned, so she loses some of the bangs. A wise decision.
Next, the Ke$ha makeup. Everyone else was busy gathered by the windows, creeping earth with binoculars so this left Joshua and myself to figure out the makeup designs. Neither of us are skilled in this department, but between my suggestions and his dexterity (he's good with his hands. Gets plenty of practice skinning folks left and right) we were able come up with a fairly accurate Ke$ha look.
Now for the GaGa raw meat dress. Anna was just deciding which servant to disembowel and wear (I chose this moment to escape for a bathroom break) when Lisa stepped in and diffused the situation by playing a clip of GaGa music and asking, is that really the message we want to be sending? Followed by a sampling of a Ke$ha song, and seriously guys, makeup isn't supposed to look like someone's face got gang-raped by crayons. Don't be fooled, Ke$ha is not a style icon.
Well, forgive us manly men for not knowing how perform a makeover. I'd be much more worried if we'd done a good job.
Anyway, with the appearance disaster averted, Anna then briefed us on the purpose of our mission to Earth -finally, some answers as to the point of this road trip! The moment I'd been waiting for! Unfortunately, while she was talking I glanced out the window and spied a cloud formation that looked rather like a body part, so that kept my attention occupied for the duration of her speech, and I pretty much left without a further clue as to what we were doing here.
Joshua and I were then free to snatch up out binoculars and spy out the windows. We appeared to be descending over a largely populated area with a dense variety of humans. How interesting...not really. We came here for THIS? There's gotta be something more... Guess I should have been paying attention...
We spied around some more, not seeing anything truly remarkable. Some dumbass driving a wheeled thing on a sidewalk, a big black guy dodging plane wreckage -hey, he looks familiar. Isn't he that guy who - WOW look at those clouds! What was I talking about? Never mind.- a fat kid huddling under a table by a window in medical place, a white building with lots of stairs and Ke$ha-look-alikes crowding around, some blonde lady bitching out guys in green outfits... Nah, nothing interesting to see here.
So Anna makes her big announcement, conveniently forgetting to mention a certain very helpful second-in-command named Me. The little humans look completely bamboozled. That's Anna's biggest talent -aside from looking smug while staring out windows- sounding like a positively warm and delightful person while she's probably thinking about how much fun she's going to have skinning/eating them alive or whatever she's planning. Now I really wish I'd paid attention. Gah.
Joshua and I fit in one last game of Go Fish (I almost beat him. I was SO close.) before it was time to change into my spiffiest suit and my infamous chartreuse tie (Hey- new planet, new start, right?) and then it was off to the shuttle to present ourselves to the humans in a place called the "U.N."
I asked what U.N. stood for, but all I got was an strict order to go put on a different tie because apparently being on a different planet is no excuse to bring that "abomination" out of hiding. Come on, she wasn't even wearing the matching dress! I have rights too!
Well, I just swapped my chartreuse tie for an even more exciting one - solid black. Joy. Now I'm about to head down to the shuttle - for the second time. Assuming Anna is satisfied with my attire and I don't get skinned on the spot, it's off to Earth for us!
PS, That smell is getting stronger - smells like engine grease, with salt...and...other stuff? It's actually kind of alluring in a repulsive way. First chance I get, I'm going after it! Maybe I'll even bring some blue energy grenades, cuz you never know! Plus, Anna never lets me play with the fun stuff...this is my excuse to bring out the big toys!
Crap, I'm being summoned - again. What IS her attachment to that obnoxious P.A. system?
Here I go!
Any guesses as to what the smell is?
In case you didn't know...chartreuse is a limey green colour. ;) Also I hope the dollar signs in Ke$ha's name show up. Sometimes this site doesn't show symbols, but Im sure youll be able to figure it out!
Yeah, the next chapter will be MUCH funnier - in my opinion anyway.
Thanks for reading, please leave a review :)
RXP
