CHATPER TWO: Bloody Tears

Passing many deserted alleyways and subway paths, each turn we made leading us down a more secluded area of town. My light graceful steps followed by dragging footfalls behind me. And each minute that passed,I wish I could leave her behind. She wasn't as much of a burden as she was an inconvenience. How many years have passed since my presence was noted by more than a bounty hunter? I pondered as my eyes flickered to the girl in tow. Humanity is no place for beings such as I. Humanity should not know of what I am. How long will I keep it that way if she is around? Frowning slightly at my thoughts,Alexandria stumbles closer to my side. "I...." she begins but then soon casts her gaze downwards and is silent. "Yes?" I merely say prodding her to continue. "I'm...I'm very grateful to you...Katia." she murmurs keeping her gaze on the ground. Grateful? To a monster? I question. "Well. We're here." I say as I stop in front of a tall looming building. Opening the door I start to ascend the stairs. With no effort I am slowly leaving Alexandria behind. "Is there no elevator?" I hear her mumble to herself as she begins to breathe heavily. Humans are such fragile creatures. Their limits are so low. I muse as I pause on the stairs and lightly sweep my black hair away from my face.
Reaching the fifth floor, I open the door to my small apartment. There are few pieces of furniture here and there,with no electronics's minus my laptop. During the years,the one invention that has marveled me the most was the Internet. The accessibility everything was now at,like the libraries of the kingdoms of old. My living quarters were somewhat hollow since I found it pointless to acquire trinkets and other such paraphernalia. "You may sleep on the couch if you wish." I proclaim as I head off into my bedroom. "Ok...thank you." I hear Alexandria say as I close the door behind me. As I close the door,I slump against it and close my eyes. You will have to find some way to be rid of her. You cannot keep her around. She is human. She fears you. I hear a voice in my head rant.
"Mistress?" his voice echos in the hollow halls of the temple. "Rajiv,no titles." I remind him as I stop and listen to the birds outside the temple walls. "Do you hear them? There we're never such beautiful song birds in my hometown." I say with a slight smile. "No...I do not. For your hearing is far more superior than my own...Katia." Rajiv says silently. "I am sorry,Rajiv." I apologise as I turn to look at him. Standing 4 inches taller than myself with his messy black hair and golden brown eyes,he was beautiful in his own ways. "Rajiv?Why are we here today?" I ask as I gaze at the large tapestries hanging on the white stone walls. "Do we need reasons to visit the gods & goddesses?" Rajiv answered back,"Even demons need to be forgiven."
Yes Rajiv. Even demons need forgiveness.
I say to myself in the dark of my room. 4,000 years later and your wisdom still speaks answers to my questions. Sighing,my eyes lock onto the mirror across from me. And yet,after all these years I've changed little. While the world around me sheds new skins and becomes farther and farther from the gods and goddesses I once knew. What point is eternity,when you have to suffer it alone? Why keep promises to a goddess no one believes in? Oh Kali Ma,your grace and forgiveness does nothing for me here. Why have you abandoned me? To what point does my heart keep beating if each time I open it,it's only to shred it apart? Love. Such a trivial illusion. I am broken from my thoughts as I hear knocking on my door. "Katia?" I hear a faint voice call from the other side. "Alexandria? What is it?" I say as I open the door slightly. "You wouldn't happen to have any food...would you?" she asks with a shameful look on her face. Food? I muse. Oh yes,I have food. But none she could eat. I think back to the packets of blood vials in the fridge. "What is it you would like?" I ask walking out of my room. "It doesn't matter." she shrugs. What do humans of this age eat...? I have been to many restaurants and feasts in my years of life...yet their food always tastes of ash in my mouth. "I will bring you down to the diner." I finally conclude.

Sitting across from the young blond,I silently watch her devour the food in front of her. There are few other people in the booths inside the diner. I choose to live in a mostly deserted part of town,where no one would question me. It's still bothering me. Who was chasing her? And why? She isn't a threat,but it might be something she knows or has seen. But what? Alexandria is staring at me,her fork is down. "Katia?" I hear her question,but her voice sounds so far away. Not now...I groan. "Alexandria? What is it?" I question as I rub my forehead. "You just looked so far away and....hey are you ok?" Alexandria asked with a hint of concern in her voice. "I'm fine." I snap as my eyes begin to loose their focus and I feel as light as feathers. The sudden weakness,the anger. Oh please not now... I close my eyes and stand up. "I'm sorry. Whenever you're done pay with this." I grit out as I hand her cash and turn to leave. "Katia?!" I hear the desperate plea from behind me,"Can...can I go to your apartment after?" She still wishes to stay,but then again she hasn't seen anything yet that would change her mind. "Yes." I merely say as I toss back my keys.
I hurriedly rush out of the diner,only to be greeted with intense pain in my abdomen. Clutching my stomach as if my intestines could fall out,I slide into the nearest alleyway and hide myself beside a dumpster. I fall to the ground at once in a heap. How could I have forgotten nourishment? When was the last time I fed? Days blend into weeks,weeks into months,months into years and years into centuries. My stomach feels like it is trying to devour itself to gain any nourishment it can into my system. I grit my teeth together so hard,my gums begin to bleed. Breathing heavily I gaze up at the sky. Kali Ma,save me...I silently pray. I hear rustling beside me and my head turns so fast that if I were human,I'd be suffering from whip lash. I see an elderly man come from around the corner of the alleyway,he notices me right away and waves. "Aww,whats a lovely lady such as yourself doing sitting in the trash?" he smiles as he comes near. But I listen to nothing he says because all I can hear is his heart beating and the blood it pushes through his veins. NO!I scream at myself. "Get away..." I growl out from my clenched jaw. "I'm not here to hurt you? What could a poor old man like myself do? Let me help you up,ok?" he chuckles and offers his hand to me. I gaze at his hand,but I'm not looking at the skin,but whats beneath it. The veins,with the hot red liquid pumping through them. If I would only just reach out and take it,it would all be mine. And this pain would end. It would be so warm and soothing on my throat...No! I can't. I won't. I'm not a killer! I scream at myself. But you are. You want it. You need it. He's just human. He'll die soon enough anyways? What's a human,to a creature such as yourself but a stepping stone? I hear a harsh voice recite from inside me. "No. I'm fine,just leave. Now!" I say with more strenght now,wishing he would just go. "Nonsense,just get up and I'll leave ok?" the man says. You're funeral. And in the next instant the primal demon takes over my body,as if I was just pushed aside from the controls of a car. I see flashes of flesh and blood. And I can hear his muffled screams. But every part of me,but one,just wants to make it worse. And then I know nothing,because everything has gone to black.

I can hear the crows,high above on the roof tops,their howls echoing all around me. Where....am I? I ask myself as I try to move. I am cold and cramped. My eyelids are heavy and I can feel something caked onto my skin. No.....I couldn't..... I breathe out short sobs and I recall the scenes previous. I slowly open my eyes and everything is blurry at first. Slowly object materialize before me,a dark brick wall,trash cans,backdoor ways,blood and a lifeless heap. I shut my eyes in anger and turn my face towards the sky. I am a monster. I feel liquid running down my cheeks,it is warm and it stings my eyes. I open my eyes and touch my fingers to my face,pulling them away they are covered in red. Bloody tears,a monsters tears. If monsters could cry. I then turn to face the lifeless heap,which was once human. I roll him over to discover I had tore out his throat with my nails,the expression on his face was far from peaceful. I let out a silent sob and try to stand,wiping my face with the sleeve of my jacket. I lean against the wall and stare down at the body in front of me. "I'm...I'm sorry." I whisper. If the words of a demon mean anything to you. I spit back angrily to myself. Why am I so upset? I didn't know him,he wasn't important to me. "But Katia,you love humanity." I hear Rjiv's words clearly in my mind.
"And why is that?" I ask sitting underneath a huge tree. "Because you were once human and some part of you still is." explains Rajiv as he stares at the sky. "I was human...." I ask more to myself than anyone. "Yes,Katia. You were." Rajiv answers anyway. "But you are no longer human. A demonic serpent. You flourish underneath the moonlight,taking the blood of peasants and noblemen alike. You neither age or grow sick. You will roam the earth till the end of time,keeper of the night." Rajiv spoke with such wisdom that came with years of living and yet he was merely 17. "A monster...an abomination of mortality." I finished. "But even monsters can be redeemed in the eyes of the gods and goddesses. Katia,to me you are no monster." Rajiv said his gaze finally returning down to the earth. "Why do you not fear me?" I wonder. Rajiv paused for a long time,he tilted his head slightly and stared off into the distance. He was silent for such a long time,I too turned to see what he was looking at,but it was just more grass and tree's in that direction. "I do not fear you,Katia,because you are no monster. You are under the name of Kali Ma. You do not breed your own kind,nor do you kill when you feed. To me,Katia,you are a goddess." Rajiv finally said turning to face me,his golden eyes shining in the sunlight.
I am no goddess Rajiv. If you would know me now,I am sure you would hate me. I thought sadly. Through centuries I had killed for food,but prevented it when I could. And there were times I had enjoyed the act of killing. But now,looking down at the elderly man,all I can feel is disgust.