A/N: Hey, I know it took me ages to come up with this, but here it is: The fist chapter! And for beta-ing this, my thanks go to the unchallenged master of embarassing Lily Evans in public, fabulous Siriusly Klutzy! (If there are any mistakes in these lines, it's entirely my fault!)
Siriusly In Love
Chapter 1
James and Lily, Remus and Tara, and Sirius were sitting in a semi-circle in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. They didn't talk - there was no need. They were content simply sitting there together, enjoying each others company.
Sirius smiled to himself. Far from feeling left out - being the only one single and all - he was really happy for his friends. He looked at James and his smile widened. Never before had he seen his friend like this: His arm around Lily's shoulders, he glowed with happiness and couldn't stop looking at her. At the same time his expression was a little unsure, as if he feared it might just be a dream, like it had been so many times before. That he was about to wake up and Lily would be gone.
Sirius bent forward. "Hey, Prongs," he said quietly. "Trust me. It is real."
James looked at him, surprised. "You know me too well, Pads," he answered, and his voice was heavy with a mix of different emotions: Happiness, gratitude, friendship. "Thank you."
Sirius was about to answer when the portrait-hole was opened and Rebecca entered the common room. She did not look at the group next to the fire, but made her way directly to the stairs that led up to the girls' dormitories. Sirius watched her, and suddenly he felt a sharp sting of guilt. He had treated her really badly! She had hurt him, and he was still angry that she had thought that James was capable of hurting Lily, but he had his share of mistakes, too, and far worse than her.
He cleared his throat. "Ah, Rebecca… would you, maybe … like to join us?"
She literally flinched when he addressed her, and his guilty feeling increased. "Are you… serious?" He could hear in her voice that she'd been crying.
"Yes, I am. In both ways." He got up and got himself another armchair. "Come on. Sit."
"Thanks…"
Suddenly, the silence was awkward, and Sirius could tell that everybody felt it. Rebecca didn't look at anybody, but stared into the fire, apparently unsure of what to say, and none of the others were as relaxed as they had been moments ago. He felt tense, too. Things couldn't just go back to normal - whatever 'normal' meant anyway. They could not forget what had happened, or pretend to do so. But that, he realized, meant that he had to talk to Rebecca about it, explain to her why he had reacted the way he had, and that was something he'd never done before! He usually didn't bother to explain himself to girl he dated, he just dumped her and went on. But this time it was different, for it affected his friends as well. And for another reason: He liked Rebecca. Sure, the scents he'd smelled in the Amortentia didn't have anything to do with her. But still, if he wanted them to remain friends (and he was quite sure he did), he had to do something for it. And even if it wouldn't work, she at least deserved an explanation.
When Sirius Black had come to this conclusion - after some serious struggling with the (to him) entirely alien concept of explaining his behaviour to a girl- he looked up and realized that, although this sophisticated mental operation had at least taken ten minutes, nothing had changed. The silence was still awkward, Rebecca still avoided looking at anybody, and the others still felt uneasy. And that was not fair, especially to Prongs and Lily. Especially today! It was their evening, they shouldn't think about anything than each other. Sirius quickly shook his head to stop that cheesy train of thoughts. They're effecting me more than I thought! And to prevent further intellectual degeneration - Yeah, I know some polysyll …syllala … some complicated words! -, he decided to act immediately. He got up (which startled everybody) and looked at Rebecca.
"Let's go for a walk." The tall black girl simply nodded and followed him out of the portrait hole.
When the portrait hole had closed, James let out a long breath. "I didn't think it would be that difficult," he said to no one in particular.
"Tell me about it." For the first time this evening Lily didn't look happy. "I told her we were okay, and I meant it, but …" She fell silent.
"You have to give yourself time, Lily," Remus said wisely. "You and Rebecca. It's like James said, your friendship has been damaged, you have to rebuild it step by step."
"Yes, o wise Master Moony," James said and bowed his head solemnly. Then he grinned at his friend. "Honestly, where do you get that stuff from? Have you eaten fortune-cookies lately?" Lily and Tara giggled.
Remus glared at him, but only for a moment. Then he grinned, too. "No, but you remind me."
"Do you think they'll get back together?" Lily asked after a while.
"No," both boys said without a seconds hesitation. She looked at them, surprised.
"How can you be so sure?"
Remus and James exchanged a quick glance. Then the latter looked at his girlfriend. "I can't tell you, Lily. I'm sorry! It's not that I wouldn't want to or don't trust you, but it's not my part to tell ..."
But she silenced him. "It's okay, James. I don't need to know, if it is confidential." She smiled at him. "I always knew that you were a loyal friend, even when I didn't know anything else about you. And it was about the only positive thing I gave you credit for."
"Oh, something has changed there, I take it?" he asked playfully.
Lily pretended to ponder his question. "Well, now you mention it … I think I could find one or two positive things about you. When looking closely enough!" She smiled at him again.
James pulled her even closer and buried his face in her hair. "I'm glad you do," he whispered. "Took you long enough!"
About half an hour had passed when the portrait hole opened again and Rebecca entered. She looked sad and miserable, yet somehow more relaxed than before. The two couples looked at her, and she tried to smile. "I'm all right, guys … or I will be."
"So you and Sirius aren't…"
"…back together? No." Her voice trembled, and she wiped the tears away that started flowing again. "But it's okay. I … I don't like it, but I can understand. She sat down and stared into the fire again.
Nobody spoke for a long while, and when she did, she seemed to talk to herself rather than to the others. "He was really caring … said he liked me, but that it wouldn't work out, maybe because he liked me. He said he didn't want it to be just another meaningless affair, just having fun with no strings attached. He said he couldn't go that way with me… And he explained why he had been so angry…" Rebecca looked up just in time to see James and Remus exchange a worried glance. "You know about that, don't you?"
Both boys nodded, and James said, "It wasn't your fault, Rebecca. It's just …"
"I know. It doesn't hurt less because of it, but I do understand." She sighed. "I wish he'd let me help him … but that's not my part. It seems I'm not the one for him to do that. I only wish …" She started crying again, and Tara laid a comforting arm around her.
Remus looked at the crying girl intensely, his expression showed worry, as did James's. "Rebecca … how is he?"
"Not good. Sad, angry, afraid … you should go and look for him." James and Remus rose at once - and looked at their girlfriends a little guiltily. James especially didn't feel good about leaving Lily on her own on their first evening as a couple. "Lily …"
"Off you go!" she ordered, being playful again. When he hesitated and opened his mouth to explain, she dropped that playful manner. "It's all right, James," she said seriously. "Sirius is your friend, and he needs you now, so go on and look for him. There'll be other possibilities for us to cuddle in front of the fireplace, and there are a lot of evenings lying ahead! I'm not going to feel second best, and I'm certainly not being mad at you for looking after your best mate. In fact, I would be mad if you didn't! You wouldn't be yourself it you didn't!"
James looked at her for some seconds, then took her hand in his and kissed it, even bowing a little while he did. "You're just wonderful, Lily", he said earnestly. "I've known it all along, and yet you never cease to impress me!" He kissed her hand again then left with Remus, leaving behind a blushing and beaming Lily Evans.
