Red vs

Motion To Adjourn

The Decepticons continued firing at the Autobots separating Bumblebee from Optimus Prime, Jazz, and the medic Ratchet.

"Okay Jazz, I need you to get up there, help Bumblebee shore up the defense, establish a suppressing fire, and hold that position until further notice," Optimus ordered.

"I didn't even know what half of that meant," remarked Jazz.

"Just go over to Bumblebee's rock, and fire your gun a bunch."

"That rock? Yeah, I don't think so."

"We do not, have time, to discuss this."

"Sure, no time for you to discuss it. You get to hang out here with Nancy No-Lasers shooting the breeze. Meanwhile, I'm out there, running around, eating a laser gun sandwich."

"Jazz, we're going to give you covering fire."

"Covering fire? Unless that means you're going to build a huge, laser-proof wall between me and them, I think you need to come up with a new plan. Preferably one that involves me keeping the same quantity of oil that I have right now."

"No problem. Oh wait wait, does the oil have to be in your body?"

Frenzy and Starscream were shooting their respective guns at the Autobots.

"Starscream…I can't feel my hands," Frenzy cried.

"Maybe you should lay off the trigger, you dumbass."

"Alright you, Dr. Ratchet, get over there and help Bumblebee," ordered Optimus.

"My name isn't Dr. Ratchet, just Ratchet."

"Yeah. I can't pronounce that, so from now on, your name is Dr. Ratchet."

"I'm not really comfortable with that; I'm not a doctor, I'm a medic."

"What's the difference," asked Jazz.

"Well, a doctor cures people. A medic just makes them more comfortable. While they die."

"Mental note: don't ever get shot."

"It's settled then. Your name is now Dr. Ratchet," announced Optimus.

"Alright, but I don't think it'll stick."

"Oh trust us, it'll stick," said Jazz.

"Now get over to Bumblebee, and help him hold that position," Optimus ordered again.

"I don't have a gun, I am a pacifist."

"Well then just get over there, and yell 'zap zap zap.'"

"I don't know. Even that sounds pretty aggressive."

"Oh, come on," Jazz remarked.

"Besides, I'm not supposed to get involved unless someone gets hurt."

"Huh. I see," Optimus raised his gun to Bumblebee and fired one shot at him.

"OW, MY FOOT," Bumblebee yelled.

"Well, looks like Bumblebee has hurt himself. Maybe you should get over there and help him, Dr. Ratchet," Optimus recommended.

"You know, you could have just asked nicely."

Back on the Decepticon side, Starscream kept shooting until his laser cell was empty.

"Oh crap, I'm out. Give me a laser cell, Frenzy."

"Me? I don't have any extra. I'm down to one to one shot."

"Wha…how can that be? You're the one who carries all the extra rounds into battle."

"Wait, since when?"

"Since the last staff meeting."

"We actually talk about stuff in those things? I just put myself into sleep mode."

"Well, you missed your job assignment, and now we have no ammo."

"What's your job?"

"Me? I'm the Social Chairman."

Megatron and Rumble ran over to Frenzy and Starscream, both out of lasers.

"Frenzy. Treasurer Rumble and me are empty. We need some cells," Megatron said.

"Hey Frenzy, you remember that one shot you have left? I thought of the perfect way you can use it," said Starscream.

Dr. Ratchet was over now on Bumblebee's rock, helping him with his 'injury'.

"I'm here Bumblebee, where're you hit?"

"Ah, ow, ow, ow, my foot, my foot!"

"The left foot?"

"Ah, left. Let's see, that makes an L with this thumb and…"

"I'm just going to assume it's the one with the hole in it."

"Yeah, the black one. Ah. I can't believe Optimus shot me."

"OH DON'T EVEN START, BUMBLEBEE," his leader yelled.

"Anything else," asked Dr. Ratchet.

"Uh, well wha?"

"You have a laser wound in the foot. Is anything else wrong?"

"Uh... Oh, I got one. Uh, Well, sometimes when I fall asleep at night I think about my parents having sex, and I get really, really mad for some reason."

"... ... ... Okay I'm just going to start with the foot."

"Okay."

Optimus and Jazz had been listing to silence for several minutes now.

"Hey dude, why aren't the Decepticons firing," asked Jazz.

"I don't know, maybe they're out of ammo."

"Hey Autobots," Megatron yelled on the opposite side, "We are giving you a chance to surrender!"

"Surrender," wondered Optimus.