Probe, n.
"I have been thinking," Alex said, crossing the room and leaning against the desk directly in front of the chair Olivia sat in. Olivia really wished she wouldn't do that, wished there was something else to focus on besides those long legs and beautiful figure.
"Yes," Olivia said, nodding her head and trying to keep her eyes locked with Alex's.
"We should, maybe, go out sometime. Get a drink." Alex suggested.
"Well, the guys and I were going out tonight. Want to come?" She asked hopefully.
"Uh, no." Alex said, her fingers tapping against the edge of the desk.
"Oh," Olivia frowned. "I thought you wanted to…"
Alex interrupted, her arms crossing. "I was thinking that maybe we should go." Olivia's blank expression caused her to continue. "You know, you and I. Alone." She said, stressing each work to further impress her point onto the detective.
"Oh," Olivia answered again, smiling as her mind raced with possibilities.
Mirror, v.
There was a mirror on the wall in Alex's bedroom. It wasn't there for anything kinky, Alex had explained, but it had been her grandmother's and it meant something to her, and well, she couldn't really find anywhere else to put it. When they would make love, Olivia would catch her own eyes in it, but usually, she turned her head away. She was so vulnerable; so entirely exposed. But tonight, she watched herself, her eyes getting caught as Alex slid down her body. She watched, feeling her own body escalating beyond her control. So she gave in. She lay back, watching, throwing herself into the game with abandon. She watched, knowing she was giving up control, knowing she was vulnerable, and loving every minute of it.
Distraction, n.
Sitting at opposite ends of the sofa, Alex watched as Olivia's eyes glazed over. The TV in front of them blaring, providing a distraction and a reason to not speak. They still hadn't talked about the big news of the day—Elliot's official departure from SVU. Alex knew better than to bring it up herself and she waited silently for Olivia to broach the subject. She sighed, a sound that caught Olivia's momentary attention before she turned back to the moving pictures on the screen.
"He didn't even say goodbye," she whispered, as a small tear snaked down her face.
"I'm sorry," she responded, words that were inadequate, but none the less heartfelt.
"I know." Olivia sighed. Before Alex, this would have broken her, but now, stretching her body so her head was on Alex's lap, staring up into her blue eyes, she knew that while this would hurt, eventually she would be okay.
Push, v.
It wasn't the first fight and Olivia knew it wouldn't be their last. These things happened in every relationship, silly little blips on their relationship radar, but as Alex continued to push her, Olivia let her mind wander. She was not an innocent party in this one. She knew what drove Alex crazy and she used it to push her buttons. As much as she hated fighting, she had to admit that the angrier the blonde got, the more Olivia wanted to punch her buttons. It may not be fair, and it may not be rational, but knowing Alex would forgive her in the end made it all worth it.
Shy, adj.
"So, umm, yeah." Alex stumbled over her words. "Good luck," She said, reaching forward and punching Olivia on the arm. They were dating, but no one knew. Working together led to these awkward situations—her approving something, knowing it would be incredibly dangerous and then watching as Olivia gave her a brave smile. She hated it, but she was the one who was afraid to change it, so instead of doing what she really wanted, she stood back, trying to express in entirely inadequate words what her heart was begging her to let out. As she watched Olivia look over her shoulder one last time and try to give her a reassuring smile she was sure that this whole thing had to change.
Confess, v.
"So, are you going to tell me or?" Elliot said as they sat in the car, both staring straight ahead ostensibly watching the entrance to the building for any movement.
"Tell you what?"
"About the person you're dating," he said slowly, carefully choosing his words.
"I'm not.." she said, not looking in his direction.
"Look," he said, shaking his head. "I know you. And I know you loved her from the moment you saw her. I'm happy for you. Both of you." He paused, waiting for her partner to respond.
"Thanks." She sighed.
"Liv?" He asked quietly.
"Yeah?"
"It's Alex right?"
Family, n.
Olivia sighed as she took a deep breath and prepared herself for the onslaught before her. It was time to meet Alex's family. It really wasn't fair. Alex would never face this firing squad. She didn't have a family to meet. Her father didn't even deserve the moniker, not that she even knew who or where he was. Her mother was dead. The only person she knew she could rely on was herself.
She wondered what her mother would have said if she had met Alex. Olivia had never bothered to tell her about her dating life—her relationship with her mother was too complicated to intentionally expose something that could so easily be used to wound her later. She believed that if her mother had given her a chance, Alex would have been the one to win her over.
But it would never happen now. When she had fallen down those stairs, it had been both a blessing and a curse. Her mother was dead and she would never again know her love—but she would never have to experience her hate either. The slurred epitaphs that sometimes danced through her brain when she most wanted to forget they existed. It lingered with her even now—when she heard a whispered I love you she expected to hear her mother's voice telling her she wasn't worthy.
Sometimes, now, it was quieter, but it was still there. Sometimes she was better at tapping it down. Sometimes, like now, it echoed through her making her body ache. But she smiled, focusing on the task ahead, letting Alex's squeeze of her hand give her a confidence she did not feel.
Questioning, v.
"We don't have to," Olivia said, biting her lip as Alex kissed a line down her neck. Her breath was coming faster, her eyes flickered closed, and then opened.
"I know," Alex whispered as her hand wandered up the brunette's lean body and cupped her breast.
"Oh God," Olivia gasped, as Alex's fingers tangled in her hair and their tongues twisted. "I just…I just don't want you to regret…"
The word regret made Alex pull back, Olivia whimpering at the loss of contact.
"Will you regret this?" She asked letting her head tilt to the side as she waited for an answer.
"No," she answered without a thought.
"Neither will I."
