A/N: Let me say first of all, thank you to all of the people who reviewed and alerted this story. I'm quite pleasantly surprised by the responses I've received. Second, Musie was happy with the responses too, and she went a little overboard. This chap is a bit of a monster so you might want to get a snack, a drink, a pillow and a blanket.
If you're wondering about the titles, they're generally the titles of the two main songs that helped me to write the chapter. In My Place - Coldplay, and Trip - Hedley. And the previous chapter's title The Mess I Made is by Parachute.
Thanks also to 206 for prereading for me. Merci beaucoup buddy! Thanks to those who've followed me from my JustUs league stories. Don't worry, it's coming.
Once again, I don't own Bones or any of its characters. Not yet at least. I'm still crossing my fingers and checking my mailbox. If that status changes I'll be sure to let you know.
In My Place/Trip
After that disastrous date with Andrew, he had called a number of times before she informed him that she would not be going on another date with him. When he asked if he had done something wrong, or if she felt as though he had pressured her, she replied that while she did think he was attractive and charming, but that she was no longer interested in having sex with him. That effectively ended her relationship with him, but she found that it didn't bother her at all. The extra time gave her the opportunity to reexamine certain things in her life, and she recognized the need to be more discerning about the men she spent her personal time with.
The week after she had rejected him, she found Andrew waiting for her in her office. She felt very disconcerted at his presence there, or as Angela would say, she was "creeped out". She no longer enjoyed his presence or looked forward to being in his company and to find him in a place that, perhaps even more than her home, represented sanctuary to her was unpleasant to say the least. When he attempted to hug her in greeting, she pushed him away and asked point blank what he was doing there. He quickly adopted a very professional demeanor and handed her a letter that formally suspended her and Booth's partnership until further notice. The letter was signed by both Hacker and Sweets.
"You terminated my partnership with Booth because I rejected you?" she spat, throwing the letter back at him. "You're pathetic. This is an egregious abuse of office and I will make sure that you answer for it."
"What happened between us has nothing to do with it," replied Hacker coldly, calmly picking up the letter and setting it on her desk. "The decision to temporarily suspend your partnership was a difficult one, but it was made in respect to a recent therapy session in which it was uncovered that there were unresolved personal issues between you and Booth. Issues that would interfere with the efficacy of your partnership and compromise the cases that you work together. Keep in mind that this separation is temporary and if you would just read the letter thoroughly, you'd see that there are conditions which, once they're met there is a good chance for your partnership to be reinstated."
She sped read through the letter and noticed that there were a few stipulations. The main requirement being that if they completed six months of intensive therapy - both separately and as partners - to address the issues, then there would be a review of their progress. If Dr. Sweets believed that they have resolved these issues in a satisfactory manner, then the decision as to whether or not their partnership will be restored would be made.
"This is ..... this is wrong!" argued Brennan. "This is wrong and you know it! Together Booth and I have solved numerous cases - cases that would never have been solved without my team's scientific expertise and Booth's deductive abilities. How can you agree to this knowing that you are essentially hindering justice by severing our partnership?"
"My hands are tied Temperance," Hacker replied, not without some semblance of sympathy. It did hurt that she rejected him, but it was obvious that she was in pain herself from denying her feelings for Booth. "Dr. Sweets has already filed his report. If I rejected it in favor of keeping the two of you partners despite Dr. Sweets evaluation, that would end up causing more questions with the higher ups. There would be a formal inquiry into your partnership. Rather than just temporarily suspend your partnership, it could be terminated permanently."
"Are you telling me that this is Sweets doing?" asked Brennan, stunned at this revelation. Even though Hacker said nothing, she knew the answer, and it made her blood boil.
With a snarl, she spun around and headed for the door. Hacker grabbed her arm to try and stop her, but realized what a foolish move that was when she took his hand and twisted it behind him.
"Temperance....Dr. Brennan, what are you planning on doing?" asked Hacker, having some difficulty speaking while she pressed him against a wall. "Are you going to go to Sweets and threaten him? You know you're only going to make things worse."
"Booth and I are no longer partners. How can it possibly be worse?" She snapped, letting him go and striding towards the front door.
Brennan walked the few blocks to the building that housed Sweets office in record time, fuming all the way. Part of her wanted to head over to the Hoover building, find Booth, commiserate with him over this, and have him hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right. She did her best to suppress the urge, mainly because it was unreasonable to think that having Booth hold her was going to make it better, or that she should rely on him to resolve the situation. As she stepped into the elevator, she caught herself almost pressing the button for Booth's floor before remembering that she wasn't at the Hoover. Irritated at herself, she pounded the button that would take her to Sweets office.
"Oh what, you come here to yell at me too?" muttered Sweets as Brennan strode into his office.
"Your statement implies that you expect me to yell at you, and that you've already been yelled at." Brennan stated, his greeting taking some of the heat from her anger.
"You just missed Booth," Sweets smiled mirthlessly. "He wasn't very happy with my evaluation either."
"Not happy is a gross understatement," replied Brennan. "How could you do this to us Sweets? Why would you do this to us?"
"I did this for you!" he exclaimed, standing up to meet her glare. "You and Booth, you two are obviously deeply in love, but just as deeply in denial because of these fears that you refuse to address or even acknowledge. You constantly use your partnership as an excuse, as a barrier for the progression of your relationship. I thought that perhaps if that barrier was removed-"
"This is another one of your social experiments isn't it?" hissed Brennan disdainfully.
"No, this is not a social experiment," said Sweets, grinding his teeth slightly. "This is about a friend who is fed up with the two of you pretending that you're not in love. This is about the two of you waking up and realizing that one of these days, you will have used up all of your chances to be together, and you'll be miserable apart rather than happy together."
"It isn't your place to decide what happens in our relationship Sweets." pointed out Brennan.
"Someone's got to do something!" Sweets protested. "I know that Angela's tried to talk to you, so has Hodgins. Cam has mentioned talking to Booth as well. We all care about you and Booth too much to sit back and watch you two keep doing this to each other. This was why I filed that report. This is why I made the move to temporarily suspend your partnership. In truth, this tension between you two has been building for years and I can't help but think how much more effectively the two of you would be able to work together if all of the feelings you and Booth had been suppressing were let out in the open. Of course, that was before I found out that you had rejected him."
Even Brennan couldn't miss the accusatory look in Sweets eyes. Even though he claimed that he considered both Booth and Brennan to be friends of his, she knew that he identified more with Booth and looked upon him as a paternal figure.
"He told me he took my advice," Sweets said quietly, his voice dripping with guilt. "He said he told you he wanted to give your relationship a shot and you said no. You said no. How could you say no? After all that he's done for you? After all he's willing to do for you? How could you have hurt him the way that you did?"
"I was being honest!" argued Brennan. "He believes in eternal love, and getting married, and fate - and other things that I don't believe in. It would be illogical for us to embark on a romantic relationship when we're so incompatible. It's regretful that he's in emotional pain at the moment, but isn't preferable to experience short term heartache rather than long term grief."
"What makes you think that engaging in a relationship with Booth would result in long term grief?" asked Sweets.
"We're not a monogamous species Sweets," Brennan informed him. "Not like wolves or penguins who mate for life-"
"Yes, but what sets us apart from other species is our higher thought processes," Sweets pointed out. "We don't have to be slaves to our bio mechanical programming - we can decide who we want to be and what we want to become. Monogamy isn't something you should consider a hinderance to your personal freedoms. Monogamy is a choice - it's deciding that the physical and emotional connection you have with one specific person who loves you and accepts you for who you are is more valuable than a number of casual encounters with others who don't know and don't care as much about you. And for your information, as unnatural as monogamy is to homo sapiens, my parents were together for over fifty years. My mother said that when my father walked into the room, his eyes caught hers immediately and she knew. She knew that they would be together for the rest of their lives. She knew."
Brennan stayed silent as she processed this new information. She always thought of monogamy as a way for someone to claim another person as a form ownership - demanding that their spouse or partner be unavailable to explore relationships with others. She never thought of it as a decision made by the individuals in the relationship. She supposed what Sweets said had some merit. Booth once said that he would never cheat on a woman he was in a relationship with. She thought that his statement was merely an example of his strong moral character. Perhaps it was because he saw the merits in maintaining a special connection with one person rather than pursuing physically stimulating but emotionally empty encounters with others.
She thanked Sweets for his insight as she left his office, her anger forgotten. Rather than return to the lab, she called Cam and told her that she would be working from home for the rest of the day. When she got to her building, she checked her mailbox and found the package that her colleague sent her about the dig in Chile. Usually, receiving an information package about the dig would fill her with excitement and anticipation, but as she stuffed the package in her bag and locked up her mailbox, she felt an odd sensation of dread. She shook her head, dismissing her negative emotional response to what was an amazing opportunity and headed for her apartment. She headed for her bedroom and opened the information package, only to find that there was a warning to be prepared to be willing to spend a year on the dig.
One full year, twelve whole months away from home.
She had gone on digs since she had started working with Booth, but they hadn't been separated for this long. Threads of doubt began to invade her consciousness, and she began to wonder if this was a good idea after all. She again attempted to dismiss her emotional responses and concentrate on the specifics of the dig, but the more she read, the less enthusiastic she felt. When she found that she could no longer concentrate on the information she was trying to read up on, she thought that perhaps a relaxing bath would help ease some of her anxiety over being away for an extended period of time.
It didn't work out the way that she had planned. She had been relaxing in her tub, the warm waters soothing her muscles when unbidden images of Booth in his bath came to mind. She gasped, recalling the force in which he angrily stood up from his tub, the water cascading from his muscular body, droplets glistening on his skin, his physique as impressive as she imagined it to be. He looked so powerful, so masculine, so utterly potently virile that she nearly abandoned her anger for another emotion. It took every once of willpower that she possessed not to reach out and touch him, to taste him, to....
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts, and she cursed aloud in frustration. She stood up from the tub, grabbed a towel and was about to leave the bathroom when the knocking ceased. Sighing in irritation, she took a little time to towel dry her hair before returning to her bedroom to review the information package. If she wanted to go on the dig, she'd have to get all of the appropriate paperwork filled in and signed, she'd also have to make arrangements for the correct inoculations, prepare to have someone sublet her apartment, inform Cam about the dig, and of course tell Booth.
She was lost in her thoughts, and that was most likely the reason she was surprised to find someone in the bedroom with her.
"Booth!" she screamed in shock, grabbing at the towel covering her. "What are you doing in my apartment?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated, immediately covering his eyes with his hand. "I thought that you were still at the lab. I just came to get my lucky poker chip. Parker has a major game today. It's his little league semi finals and he asked me if he could have it for the game. I tried to knock, but I didn't hear anything so I used my key."
"I was taking a bath," replied Brennan, smirking at Booth's reaction to her near nakedness. "Booth, stop acting like a juvenile. There's no reason to cover your eyes, there's nothing about the female form that you have to be ashamed of."
"Besides, I've already seen you naked, remember?" she reminded him as she reached up to remove his hand from his eyes.
"Yeah, I remember." Booth replied, his voice gruff, his eyes darkened with desire as they fell upon her barely covered body.
Brennan gasped at his reaction, and could also feel arousal building within her. After all, she did see Booth as a very attractive man, and she could tell from his powerful thigh and gluteus muscles that he is capable of superior thrusting ability, his physical fitness regime and his ranger training would lend to his stamina. Of course she hadn't forgotten his 'crappy sex' speech. Wearing nothing but a towel, she felt vulnerable as well, but because she was with Booth, she somehow felt safe. He was always able to make her feel cared for and protected in his presence. The feeling of security and vulnerability was a strange juxtaposition, and coupled with the physical stimulation she was experiencing at that moment, she found herself making a rather bold move.
She stepped closer to him, gave him an alluring smile and said, "I've seen you naked twice now, and you haven't seen me naked at all. That seems unfair to me. Perhaps its time to correct this inequity."
She took a step towards him, and chuckled as Booth gulped audibly. She found his nervousness endearing, as well as oddly stimulating. She had never seduced anyone before, she had always been direct concerning what she wanted from her sexual partners and she tended to find games tedious. With Booth however, she found herself enjoying the practice of seduction and his responses to her.
"Uh...Bones....what are you doing?" he squeaked, backing up.
"I think that my actions are obvious Booth," she replied, taking another step toward him when a thought suddenly occurred to her. "Unless, what you're trying to tell me is that you no longer find me attractive. That you have no interest in seeing me naked."
"Oh god no Bones," he reassured her, reaching out to caress her cheek. "I find you incredibly sexy, and the thought of seeing you naked is driving me absolutely nuts right now. Believe me it's taking every single solitary ounce of willpower I own not to grab that towel of yours-"
"Then why don't you?" she asked, moving towards him again, not realizing that he was already up against her bed. The action she took had him falling backwards onto her mattress, and onto the paperwork that she had spread out over the bed.
"I'm sorry Bones," he muttered, gathering up the papers. "I didn't mean to make a mess. This stuff is probably important and I just-"
"Leave it Booth," she ordered, trying to collect as much of it as she could. She was hit with the realization that Booth may not take the news of her possible departure well. "I'll take care of it."
"Chile?" asked Booth, his eyes falling on one of the pages in his hands as he sat up. "You're going to Chile? For a whole year?"
"A colleague of mine from American University invited me to be a part of her team and accompany her on her dig," Brennan explained lamely as she continued to gather the papers, stuffing them back in the folder. "To be honest, it's an amazing opportunity Booth-"
"Bones, there's something that you should know," began Booth, placing a hand on hers to still them. "I was going to tell you after Parker's game. I was going to come over with some Thai food and beer before I broke the news to you, but maybe I should just tell you before you commit yourself to something."
Booth took a deep breath, and peered into her with a tender gaze as he said "Bones, I've got some bad news. Our partnership has been temporarily suspended. I'm sorry Bones, I'm doing everything that I can to-"
"Oh don't worry Booth, I already know." she assured him, hoping to relieve some of his anxiety on the matter.
"I just found out today, how could you already know?" asked Booth.
"Andrew told me earlier today." she replied.
"So, your boyfriend tells you that you and I are no longer partners, and you're okay with it," Booth said aloud, sounding hurt. "Do you know that we're supposed to go see Sweets for double the amount of therapy time we're already doing before they even consider reinstating our partnership?"
"Andrew notified me of this." Brennan informed him, for some reason she found it difficult to meet his eyes.
"So, you know that for the next six months we're supposed to be undergoing intensive therapy in order to save our partnership, and you sign up to go to out of the country?" Booth sighed, shaking his head. "Nice to know that people who've been dead for centuries are more important than us staying partners."
"Booth, that's not true!" she protested. "Your partnership is one of the most important relationships I have in my life."
"Yeah, I can tell that from the way you're running off to Chile rather than stay and fight to keep us together," scoffed Booth. "I should have known. I should have known from the way you were trying to seduce me. I actually thought for a moment that you had changed your mind about us. But no, that was you thinking 'why not? We're not partners anymore. It's not like we're ever going to see each other again so why not get him in bed before I leave DC?'"
She wanted to argue with him about this, she wanted to tell him that was the last thing that was on her mind. That she wasn't absolutely certain she was going to go. The only problem was that the words to explain this wouldn't come to her. Instead she said, "It's only for a year Booth, and perhaps we could persuade Sweets into thinking that a year apart was all we really needed -"
"Is that what you need?" asked Booth, stunned. "You want to get away from me?"
"No, Booth - that's not - " Brennan grew frustrated at her inability to articulate properly her feelings for Booth and what was on her mind. She hated that she kept hurting him. "Booth, you know that I became a forensic anthropologist in order to uncover the identities of people who've died centuries ago. I didn't become a forensic anthropologist so that I could work with the FBI. But I'm glad that my work led to a partnership with you. However, this work, going on digs and uncovering the secrets of ancient peoples through their skeletal remains are the reason I entered this particular field of science. This is why I became a forensic anthropologist."
"I got it," nodded Booth, with a slight tremor to his voice as he headed for her front door. "This is important to you. Well, thank you for being my partner for as long as you did. Have fun in Chile."
"I'll come back Booth. I always come back," she replied as she followed him, her voice thick with emotion as she realized how true her words were. Normally, she refrained from using the word always - it was an indefinable and imprecise term, not to mention that it was more of a sentiment than an accurate statement. Somehow, in this context it felt accurate. She did tend to find ways and excuses to accept assignments out of the country in order to gain perspective through distance, but she always returned. She returned not because this was the city she resided in, where she owned property and where her employer was located, but because she considered this place home. This was the city where her friends and loved ones lived, where she had family, where she had built a life. She didn't realize this until Booth had made her recognize the social connections she had here. More than that, no matter how many times and for how long she left, she returned to him - to Booth.
"I always come back." she repeated.
"And I always get left behind," Booth replied opening the door, in a voice that was little more than a whisper. "I have to go, don't want to be late for Parker's game."
She said nothing more as she watched him leave, and for a moment she continued to stare at the door after he had locked it behind him, irrationally wishing that he would turn around and come back for her.
