Chapter Two: The Lorne Family
By Technician Fan
Disclaimer: Just see the first chapter if you actually care.
A/N: Okay, here's the Lorne's Christmas. Thanks to all the reviews that I got! Anyway, there's not much to say… OH! Wait! If you wouldn't mind checking out my profile, go under Radmoxe (which is this wacky name I got from Rixa) and read the little paragraph. It's a story about what happened a couple of ours after I posted The O'Neill Family. It was scary, too, but you'll laugh. K BYE!
Quick Note: Yes, the end of The O'Neill Family was the same as the end of Omelets Lead to Purple Wormholes. There were a few little tweaks, but other than that, it was exact. Copy and Paste works miracles! Right, back to the story.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Lorne groaned and hit the button on the alarm clock to shut it off before… too late. The kids are already up and screaming.
"CHRISTMAS!!"
Lorne sat up, stretching his arms out about his head. He yawned quickly and got out of bed, grabbing his bath robe and putting it on. Cadman was still on the bed, snoozing. He decided to take this advantage as best he could before the kids came running in.
Walking over to her, he bent low and whispered in her ear, "I'm coming for you."
Cadman jumped up and kicked Lorne in the gut, sending him tumbling to the floor. He cried out in pain and clutched his stomach.
"Evan!" Cadman screamed, hopping out of bed and going over to him. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry!"
"I'm fine, really," Lorne managed to get out. He got up and, after giving out a minute grunt of pain, headed with Cadman into their living room, which held the Christmas tree.
Their kids were already huddled around it, ready to open up presents. There was, from oldest to youngest, Emily (who was turning sixteen next month), Kevin and Jamie (both twelve now), Derek (their eight year old), and Meghan, their adorable little four year old. Rose, their eight month old, was in Emily's arms, making gurgly noises.
"Okay, who wants to go first?" Lorne asked.
Cadman gave him a look that said, 'Geez, Evan, could you be any stupider?'
The younger kids were all screaming to go first. Lorne finally ended it by saying, "Quiet! Since Emily was quiet, she gets to go first."
"Awesome!" Emily said, grabbing a present. She looked at the tag. "It's from Stacy McKay." She unwrapped it and pulled out a scarf. The scarf was pink (Emily's favorite color) with thin, periwinkle stripes on it. It had words that were embroidered into it (by Stacy, of course) that read "Emily Grace Lorne" in curly letters. "How sweet of her!"
"I agree," Cadman said. "Give Rose one of her presents."
Emily grabbed a present for Rose and unwrapped it herself. It was a rattle from Jack O'Neill that read "Rose Victoria Lorne" in bright purple.
"Is every present personalized?" Kevin asked.
"Seems like it," Cadman responded. "Jamie, it's your turn."
Jamie grabbed a present and said, "It's from the Mitchell family." She set it down, about to open it, when Craig leaned over and ripped off the wrapping paper. "Craig!" Jamie wailed. "It's my present! Get your stupid hands off of it!"
"Jamie, stop yelling at Craig!" Meghan yelled.
"Meghan don't yell! You'll disturb the baby!" Emily shrieked.
"Emily, shut up!" Kevin bellowed.
"Kevin, don't talk to your sister like that!" Cadman screeched.
"EVERYONE QUIET!!!" Lorne roared, using his professional military voice to get everyone's attention. They all got silent. "Craig, wait for your turn. It's Jamie's present. You let her open it," he said softly.
Jamie finished unwrapping what was left of the wrapping paper. She pulled out a giant bag. Jamie looked at it quizzically and unzipped the top of the bag. She looked inside and sighed. "It's a LOT of make-up."
"Don't go wearing that!" Lorne said. "Some guy will think you're hot and then you'll date him and get pregnant at a young age!"
"DAD!"
The older siblings plus Cadman laughed. Cadman said, "Kevin, go ahead."
Kevin grabbed a present and twirled it around in his hands. "That's weird. The tag doesn't say who it's from."
"Open it and maybe you'll find out," Emily said.
Kevin unwrapped it and pulled out a box. He undid the box and pulled out another box. Inside that one was another box. Another box was found inside that one. Finally, after another three boxes, he pulled out a small case. He opened up the case and pulled out a small, closed up frame to a photo. He unlatched the lock and flipped it open. Inside was two pictures. One was of him as a kid and the other was an all-too-familiar face, even if it was in baby form as well. It was a toddler with brownish, reddish hair like her mom's and big, hazel-like eyes like her father. "I found out who it's from."
"Who?" Jamie asked, looking over his shoulder. She giggled at who it was. "Isn't your girlfriend sweet?"
"Yeah, she is," Kevin said, smiling at the toddler picture of Elizabeth.
"Okay, before I barf, someone open up a present," Emily said.
Meghan gladly took the offer and grabbed a big box sitting near her. She ripped off the paper without even looking at the tag and took the lid off of the box that was inside it. Nestled in the box was a sparkly, light green dress. Meghan screamed at the sight! She pulled it out and said, "MOMMY, LOOK AT MY NEW DRESS!"
"I thought you'd like it," Cadman said. "That's why I got you it."
"THANK YOU!" Meghan screeched, running over and jumping into Cadman's arms, giving her a big hug. She stayed sitting on Cadman's lap while Craig grabbed a present to open up.
"It's from Joe," he said, referring to Joe Sheppard. He unwrapped it, as poorly wrapped as it was, and pulled out a box with an action figure in it from the newest franchise for kids around Craig's age. "YEAH!"
"Be sure to tell Joe that you like it," Lorne said, grabbing a present and handing it to Cadman. "Here you go, hon."
Cadman read the card that came with it. "'Dear Jarhead: I hope you like this present. So, yeah. Sincerely, your favorite Colonel ever!!!!!' Wow, he has such a way with words." She snorted and dug into the gift bag for whatever was in there. She pulled out a giant box of chocolate. There was a note on the chocolate box that read: "Don't feed these to the kids, if you know what I mean. If you don't, let's just say they're 'special' chocolate pieces. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?"
"It means they have alcohol," Lorne whispered into her ear.
"I know what it means!" Cadman whispered indignantly. She dug further into the bag and found M&M's, more chocolate (less special, though), and a thing of marshmallow peeps. "I think they're trying to fatten me up."
"Like you weren't already fat," Lorne muttered. When Cadman glared at him, he added, "When you were pregnant, I mean. You're not fat now."
"Good call, flyboy. Now open up your present," she said, handing him a box that wasn't even wrapped.
He looked at the card, which read, "Like it or die! JK. Love, your wife."
"JK? Why did you randomly put Jennifer Keller's old initials on the card?" Lorne asked.
"Wow, you are really out of this new century, Evan," Cadman said. "JK is 'just kidding,' you idiot."
"Right, I knew that." Lorne put the card aside and opened up the box. Before he could see what was inside, Cadman got Meghan off her lap and covered his eyes with her hands. "Laura, what are you--?"
"You can't see it yet! Not till it's set up! Emily, set it up!" Cadman said. Lorne heard rustling and a few knocks and smacks. "Okay, one, two, three!" She uncovered his eyes.
Before him lay his present, all set up by Emily. It was a mini carousal with figurines of his family and friends instead of horses. He was stunned by the detail of it.
"Honey, you okay?" Cadman asked. "Do you not like it?"
Lorne interrupted her. "No, I love it!"
"Oh, well that's good. You get to live now."
"Thank you so much," Lorne said, giving her a hug.
"Aww," Emily, Kevin, and Jamie said in unison. Meghan and Craig were too busy finding their presents in the pile to notice or care.
They opened up the rest of their presents before heading to the mess. When they walked in, the McKay family was already there. The Lorne family headed over to them.
"Hey, have a good Christmas so far?" McKay said in a jolly tone. The best thing about older McKay, father McKay, and husband McKay was that he was in such a better mood, especially compared to his old self in the days when the wraith were a problem… heck, it was back when the wraith still had to feed off of humans to survive!
"A great Christmas, actually," Lorne replied.
"Jennifer, Rodney, look at my new pretty dress!" Meghan exclaimed, twirling around in her new dress that her mom had helped her get into a few minutes ago.
"You look gorgeous, Meghan," Jennifer said.
While the kids were talking about all the toys they had gotten, Chuck, Amelia, and Ronon walked over to them. Amelia and Chuck had steaming plates in their hands.
"Merry Christmas to you all," Amelia said. "Chuck and I are having a little competition. We're seeing who can cook the best omelet. Please, if you wouldn't mind being part of this, take an omelet!"
Each member of the Lorne family took their share of omelets.
"Dunkin, no!" Amelia said sternly to her son. He bowed his head in shame. "You know better than to take the other kid's toys. You got plenty for Christmas, anyway."
"Sorry, Mom," Dunkin said.
"It's okay, sweetie," Amelia said, bending down and giving him a quick hug. "Just be better about it from now on."
"Okay!" With that, Dunkin went back and joined the other kids.
"Oh, when will they ever learn?" Amelia asked rhetorically. "I gotta go make some more award winning omelets."
She turned and headed back to the kitchen, Chuck and Ronon on her tail. At that moment, the O'Neill family walked in. They came over and sat down beside the McKay and Lorne families.
Chuck and Amelia came over with Ronon behind them. They handed them some omelets and told them to tell them whose was better.
While the kids all told each other what they got, the parents talked while eating the omelets.
"You know what Chuck got me?" Jack asked. They all shook their heads. "He got me a jack-in-the-box that has a little Air Force figurine in it that squirts water out at your face." They all laughed. "And it sings this dweeby little song about the Stargate."
"Rose, eat it!" Cadman yelled at Rose. Cadman was trying to get her to eat the baby food. "Look, Daddy will eat it!" She shoved the spoon into Lorne's mouth. Lorne was stunned, but he swallowed it, holding back a disgusted face.
"That's really good stuff," he told Rose. He turned to the adults and said, "Good stuff that tastes like shit!"
"And you know what that tastes like?" Keller asked.
Everyone at the table laughed. "Pone!" Cadman said.
"Look, it's Teyla!" Meghan screeched, running to the entrance to the mess hall. Sheppard, Teyla, and their family walked in and were quickly stopped by Meghan, who showed off her new dress that her mom had gotten her for Christmas.
The Sheppard family plus Meghan walked over and took their seats. Chuck and Amelia walked over to them with omelets in their hands.
"We're having a war as to whose omelets are better," Chuck said. "Just rate it on a scale of one to ten, ten being the best; it'll make things easier." He placed his omelets in front of Sheppard, Aidan, and Eileen, while Amelia gave hers to Teyla, Elizabeth, and Joe. Torren got half of each. Amelia and Chuck walked away after.
"Open up," Cadman was to Rose. Rose opened her mouth and Cadman put in the spoon with the baby food. "Morning," she said, looking over at the newcomers. "Have a good Christmas so far?"
"Yeah, it's been great. I made Teyla cry," Sheppard said. Teyla punched him hard in the arm.
Sam looked up at him. "John, that's mean."
"Not in that way. She cried over one of the presents that I gave her. She won't admit it, though."
Stacy McKay snorted. Keller gave her a glare, a mother glare, which is the worst glare of all. Stacy shut up and continued eating.
Sheppard suddenly felt someone poking his side. He looked down to see Charlie O'Neill the second, named after the first Charlie O'Neill that died. "Can you tell us a story?" he asked.
Sheppard picked him up and sat him down on his lap. "Sure. What kind of story do you want to hear?"
"A story from before I was born. A good story! One that's got Daddy's sense of humor in it and Mommy's brains," he said. Sheppard smiled.
"I have just the one," Sheppard said. Chuck and Amelia came over with Ronon in tow. They sat down just in time to hear his story. "It was just an average day. Amelia was telling Chuck that she made an omelet that was good."
"I lied, sir," Amelia said, her face growing red. "I made an omelet, but it tasted like crap. My first real good one was at McKay and Keller's wedding."
"Okay, so Amelia was lying. She then told a story about how she blew up the dishwasher. All of a sudden, the stargate started up and swooshed open, but instead of being blue, it was purple…"
A/N: Guess what? If you press that green button right below this, it'll solve world hunger! Not really, but if you press it, it'll make me happy, and that'll make everyone else happy and then rich people will give some food to the poor and then we will all be happy! Or something like that! PLEASE REVIEW! IT IS GREATLY APPRECIATEDDDDDDDDDDD! Thanks, have a nice day!
