CAMELOT, ABOUT FOUR WEEKS AGO

Regina hated being the saviour. She hated everything about it. She hated being relied upon, she hated having to tell all the idiots what to do, she hated everyone looking to her for answers, she hated light magic, she hated having to be inspiring, she hated being good all the time. She even hated the outfits.

First there'd been freeing Merlin, then there'd been catching him, then there'd been all kinds of magic drama, then there'd been consoling Hook and breaking up with Robin (at least they kind of consoled each other now) and keeping a very bored and frustrated Henry out of trouble. Regina was beginning to understand why so many families hadn't minded at all when their teenagers were enlisted to fight in the ogre wars.

She was tired and angry and frustrated and even at what was supposed to be a calm dinner (where she should have been more than relaxed due to Emma's earlier ministrations) she only had a minute of playing with her dubious looking soup before she was being quizzed about the latest Big Bad. They still hadn't twigged that Emma was the Dark One, which was something, but Regina had a feeling it was only a matter of time.

It would have been fine, Snow White might even have managed to keep her mouth shut, but they'd brought Granny and Belle and far too many beards. It was going to get out. Emma was the only one who agreed that having a game plan for when this happened might be a good idea, but it turned out she wasn't very good at planning.

Regina fielded the questions to the best of her ability, chatted to Henry about his day (he was having fighting lessons with the knights, which kept him out of trouble, at least), and made it valiantly through the meal without fireballing anybody. If that didn't make her a hero, she didn't know what would.

There was talk of music and dancing later. Snow was beaming with excitement. Regina took that as her cue to run. She didn't even have to lie about having a headache - Snow's excited squealing could pulverise the most sympathetic of brains if they listened to it for long enough.

Finally alone in her room (Henry was now sharing with Roland) she splashed water on her cheeks and massaged her temples. She caught sight of her reflection in the glass and almost wanted to cry. She looked old. Maybe she would cut her hair again. Robin had liked it long, but that was no longer an issue.

Emma burst into the room.

"What if I'd been changing?"

Emma grinned. "I would have enjoyed it."

Regina looked back at her reflection. Emma's was now appearing behind it.

"What are you frowning about?" Emma asked. Regina had been helping her control the darkness and she was doing much better than a fortnight ago, though she still often felt rather tense, and she knew it wouldn't take much for her to go under.

Regina was her saving grace. Emma was smart enough to know that put the former queen under a lot of pressure, but she did all she could to relieve it.

"Do you like my hair?"

Emma was surprised by the question. Regina was never anything but confident in her appearance.

"Of course," she said, wondering if there would be more context.

"Did you like it better short?"

Emma tried to figure out the right answer.

"Even if you were bald, you'd still be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," she offered.

Regina turned around, glaring at her.

"You're useless. I'm trying to decide whether to cut it."

Emma hated this kind of conversation, but she did her best. She could turn pretty much anything into foreplay if she put her mind to it.

"Do you want to cut it?"

Regina's bottom lip trembled. "I don't know," she said angrily. Why did she look like she was about to cry over her hair? Emma thought back to her days as saviour and thought maybe she had an idea.

"We're gonna figure this out," Emma said. "With some really easy questions. I'm gonna ask them, and you're gonna answer, first thing that comes into your head, as fast as you can. Okay?"

Regina nodded. Emma smiled.

"Right. Black or white?"

"Black," Regina said immediately.

"Wine or beer?"

"Whiskey."

"You're a cheat. Ass or boobs?"

"Ass."

Emma grinned. "You really miss my jeans, don't you? Blonde or brunette?"

"Blonde. Stop fishing."

"Men or women?"

"Women," Regina said with an eyeroll.

"Salad or burgers?"

"Salad."

"Cotton or silk?"

"Silk."

"Do you want long hair or short hair?"

"Short hair. Oh!" Regina smiled. She hadn't expected it to work.

Emma plopped a kiss on her lips.

"I hate being the saviour," Regina admitted.

"I hated it too," Emma said. Regina was surprised.

"The whole time? I know things got rough towards the end, but there were a lot of other factors…"

"I always hated it. I mean, not before the curse broke. I quite liked Storybrooke before the curse broke. Especially the mayor."

Regina raised her eyebrows. Emma winked. "Yeah, that mayor. She was so hot. And she pretended to hate me, but I knew she really just wanted to get in my pants."

"You wanted to get in my pants first," Regina said. Emma spun them around and nudged her towards the bed.

"If I tell you you're right, will you let me in them now?"

Regina was forced to admit, while Emma made their clothes disappear, that there might be one thing she liked about being the saviour. All this frustration seemed to fuel both hers and Emma's stamina.

Emma tried to put all her appreciation for how Regina was helping her into her kisses. Regina tried to think about nothing but sex, nothing but release, nothing but herself and her pleasure. Because the second she thought of Emma…

Emma ran her fingers through long dark hair, pressing needy kisses to Regina's neck and jaw. Emma gave her whatever she needed. Emma sucked on her pulse point, her teeth grazing the skin just hard enough for Regina to gasp. The mark could be healed with magic in the morning but for now she wanted it, she wanted her body to be visibly Emma's. With Emma, she belonged. She'd fought so long for a place in the world and now she was lost, so lost, trying to save a group of people who had very recently hated her, who would probably never trust her, but Emma made her feel at home. Emma gave her hope. She had said, once, that this was cruel, but it wasn't. It was wonderful. She arched her back as Emma kissed harder, as she palmed her breasts and agile fingers found her nipples, already hardened just from thinking.

It had to be just sex. There was no other option. They were doing this out of mutual attraction and need, it was convenient, it made sense. But Emma was just a body, any beautiful body would have done the job. They might not have been as skilled with their tongue, Regina thought as Emma's mouth latched onto one of her breasts, but that didn't mean anything. It definitely didn't mean she had feelings for the blonde. She had no time for feelings. She was a reluctant saviour trying to rescue a resistant Dark One and all the power of her soul had to go into goodness. Not love. That was the wrong kind of goodness.

She had no time for love, and no chance of it. Robin had been her chance, and she had failed. She hadn't been able to love him, and he was proof, definitive proof, that no one would ever love her. It had been his destiny and he hadn't managed it. It was ridiculous to think that anyone else could. Especially not the daughter of-

"Come back to me," Emma breathed, rising to kiss Regina's full, red lips.

Regina's eyelids fluttered as Emma trailed her fingers down and ran them along her slit. She was wet, she had been since she'd seen Emma in the mirror, and she bucked her hips as Emma drew a slow circle around her clit, then dipped two fingers inside her.

"Look at me," Emma said, her voice soft and gentle, but her command clear.

Regina looked into emerald eyes and felt her own glisten with tears. She touched every part of Emma that she could reach, making unintelligible sounds as Emma thrust into her in a delicious, accelerating rhythm, her thumb brushing against her clit with every movement.

It didn't take long before she was coming, biting down on her own fist to muffle her screams, and to stop herself from crying out declarations she would be sure to regret.

Emma would already be close. Regina gathered herself, but the blonde held her down, a soft hand caressing her cheeks, wiping away salty wetness.

"You're crying," Emma whispered.

Regina had no answer. She half expected Emma to mock her, for the darkness to encourage several smug jokes, but Emma just held her.

"I can-" Regina started, but Emma shook her head.

"Sleep. You need it. I have eternity, I can wait until tomorrow."

Regina considered protesting, but Emma was holding her so carefully, so lovingly, that she couldn't bring herself to move. She nestled into her lover and succumbed to sleep, wishing her whole life could be as simple as this moment.