At the Black household…..

Edward had arrived at the Black household and was talking to Jacob all mean like. "Mutt!" "Leech!" "Fido!" "Parasite!" Then Jacob, being all pervert looked down and saw Edwards (quite small) b0n3r and got all turned on too. So they started to make out like animals and Jacob lost his virginity to Edward, while Bella was tied up and forced to watch them have butt $3x. After 4 hours they were done and Edward drank 30 gallons of cow period while Jacob smoked weed. They decided to go for round 2. So while the entire house was shaking, and jumping loud moans were heard as Edward gave Jacob a bl0 j0b. RENESMEE WALKED IN! She flipped out and flung Edward across the room. "MY DAD STOLE MY BOYFRIEND!" she yelled really really loudly. Jacob tried to calm her down but she flipped him off with Bella's middle finger while drinking some vodka and having a spaz attack on top of Jacob. Then Jasper walked in and made everyone horny. They had a 5 some and then drank some hobo blood. Then Alice walked in and bitch slapped Edward, Bella, Jacob and Renesmee while dragging Jasper by the ear to Victoria's Secret. Were they continued to buy much frilly stuff for Jacob and Goth make up and piercings for Edward. Edward was going to put it on his b0n3r Alice saw to impress Jacob, which it did. But poor Bella was still tied up in Wal-Mart and she had to go to an asylum where they rp3d her and then gave her cheese and juice. Where is Emmett you wonder? He is wearing one of Alice's dresses on America's Next Top Model. Where Alice saw he shall win, SO KEEP WATCHING! Rosalie got sick of Emmett so she dated Alec but was killed by Jane for dating her boyfriend/brother. Then every one celebrated that she was dead and they made Jane the head of the Volturi. While EclispeTwilightVamp, JakesWolf54, Lars, Nim, Matthew, the Duck, and sadly Alyssa all jumped on a trampoline to celebrate!