Chapter Two
Thirteen years old
also known as the end of all things rational and sane
I can't wait until I'm fourteen. I mean, that's the age the original Tsunayoshi was when Reborn came, right? If he doesn't come by then, I can start living again.
(Will you?)
(...)
(I thought so.)
"Tsu-kun! A home tutor is coming today!" the door to my room opened and my mother walked in on me lying face down on the floor. She gave a little giggle. "Having an existential crisis again, Tsu-kun?" she asked.
You have no idea. I picked myself off the ground and gave her a little smile before her words caught up with me.
"Home tutor?!" That guy… he's coming? So soon? I'm not even fourteen yet! Could I have been mistaken? Probably. I bit back a groan of annoyance. I was not mentally prepared for this. Also, didn't I give that Mafia boss enough reason to not choose me? I appeared physically weak, I was average in everything, I had absolutely no presence whatsoever… And I was clumsy. My physical training helped me a little, though, so instead of tripping every minute, I tripped every other minute.
"There was an interesting flyer in the mailbox," my mother continued, as if she didn't hear me. Knowing her, she probably didn't. She's always in her own little world, making me slightly worried about her. If I didn't accompany her to the market every Sunday, she would most surely get conned by one thing or another.
"I will raise your kid to become the new leader of the next generation. Grade and subject doesn't matter. Doesn't that sound exciting, Tsu-kun?"
"It sounds like a scam!" Yeap, she'd get conned.
"He's probably a tutor from a professional business school for young men. I've always wanted a teacher like this for you!" She was way too excited about this. And how'd she come to that sort of conclusion, anyway?
"Please don't create your own image of him," I sighed. Mum should really stop idealising stuff. And besides, if my hunch was correct, the new 'tutor' is definitely not from a professional business school. I think. Then again, anime logic can never be questioned.
"Ciaossu." The voice came from the middle of the room. I tried not to stiffen up as I slowly turned around to see a baby wearing a black suit and a fedora hat. I stared. It was a legitimate baby. Not a child, not a toddler, but an honest-to-god one year old child standing right there. Just standing.
I think my brain broke.
"I arrived three hours early," the baby said, unaware of the mental breakdown I was going through at the moment, "but as a service, I'll evaluate you right now."
Must not…
I walked over to the baby and knelt down, giving a warm and sincere smile. "Hello mister, who may you be?" I asked in a gentle tone.
Fiddlesticks. My instincts from the past life had taken over. I was going to die.
"Hm? I'm the home tutor, Reborn." The baby looked at me in the eyes and I intuitively moved back a little. Those black eyes… Those eyes did not belong to a child. The baby standing in front of me couldn't be a child. But what could he be? An adult trapped in a child's body? That's absurd.
(But aren't you an adult trapped in a child's body? And really, you can light flames with a snap of your fingers. That's absurd.)
Right. Anime. I was in a shonen anime. These things happened. I was probably going to help this guy get back his adult body because people liked happy endings.
I fought back the increasing urge to jump out the window, move to Atlantis or something, and never look back.
Standing up, I gave a small bow and brought my smile to the next level - the closed eye smile. That way the not-baby couldn't see the apprehension in my eyes. "It's nice to meet you, Reborn-san. Please take care of me." Right. I was laying it thick there. He'd obviously be suspicious. Oh dear.
Back, back, back!
My eyes snapped open and I leaped back just as Reborn swung his leg at me at a frightening speed. The tips of his sole grazed my tie and I tried to land on my feet. Tried. The not-baby jumped up into the air and kicked me in the head, sending me flying into the desk behind me. Hopefully, it wasn't damaged. And my bones didn't break. Darn, I have to sort out my priorities.
"It's nice that you're playing with that baby, Tsu-kun, you're always so good with children! Don't forget to come down for dinner!" After all these years, I still can't believe my mother's obliviousness.
When she was out of the room, I eyed Reborn warily. He didn't seem to care as he opened his briefcase and started to assemble a gun. Professionally. If I had any doubts at that moment, they were all being blown away. After he finished assembling the gun, he picked it up and looked at me in the eye with his two, pitch black, soulless orbs. "My real job," he stated, "is to make you a Mafia boss."
Okay, I expected that, but it didn't really stop my knee-jerk reaction of, "You're kidding."
I kind of just stared at him in a daze, not really listening to his words, until he pointed his gun at my forehead and asked in a tone more suited for discussing the weather, if I'd like for him to shoot me in the head. I spluttered. There was a split second of silence and Reborn kept the gun.
"Not now," he said. A rumble came from his stomach and he left the room. I took a deep breath to relax myself. Was he gone? Was it really so easy? I closed my eyes. No, of course not. Once Reborn came, he was here to stay until I died or I became a Mafia boss. He was probably downstairs, eating dinner. Time to prepare myself.
Wait a second, didn't my brother say something about getting shot and running around in underwear like a maniac?
… I think I'll stay up here to prepare myself a little more. And invest in the most outrageous underwear possible.
Hey, go big or go home, yeah?
"Let it burn, let it burn," I hummed to myself as lay on my bed and played with my flames. The beautiful bright orange sparked from my fingertips and faded out a few seconds later. When I was playing around with my flames, I found out that as long as they didn't have direct contact with my flesh, they wouldn't burn. It was a bit strange though, wasn't my father supposed to have sealed my flames a super long time ago or something? Or was that just fandom speculation?
Yeah, whatever. I shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.
(Gift horse. Really?)
"Huh, so you won't need the dying will bullet after all," came a squeaky voice from the side of my bed.
"HIIEE!" I flinched and hit the wall on the other side of my bed. The not-baby was there. I didn't even hear him come in! Then I processed his words. "Dying will bullet?"
Reborn then gave a speech about being in dying will mode - the effect the dying will bullet gave - which I pretty much simplified to removing the mental block on your potential strength. Y'know, those times when you see a mother lift a car to save her child or something? Yeah, that. But just with a fire on your your forehead and no clothes on.
"Um… Reborn-san…"
"Reborn." I was interrupted.
"Okay, Reborn. Who created this 'dying will bullet'?" Why hasn't the government gotten their hands on it yet and messed everything up? Oh wait, Mafia. Silly me.
"The dying will bullet is a specialty passed through the Vongola Family."
"You didn't answer my question… Wait, Vongola Family?" Clam? Of all the names…
"I was assigned by the ninth Vongola boss to come to Japan and raise you to become a Mafia boss." He ignored me!
"What happened to the others? I mean you can't expect me to believe that I'm the first choice, right?" I fidgeted under the not-baby's emotionless gaze. Seriously, those beetle-like black eyes freaked me out.
"You're right. You're the last and only candidate left." He took a deep breath, as if preparing for a speech. I did not like where this was going.
"The first and most qualified candidate, Enrico, was shot in a feud." Oh god, there were pictures. I shied away from them. Ugh, I was never good with gore and dead people.
"The young number two, Matsumo, was drowned." Stop showing me those pictures, for goodness' sake!
"The favourite child, Federico, was found reduced to bone."
"Hiee! You don't have to keep showing them!" He's having way too much fun with this! "Also, I'm pretty sure my dad's not a Mafia boss. I don't think I'm related to the current Vongola boss." Am I?
Turns out I wasn't. Instead, I was related to the first one. Darn, this is the first time I'm hearing all this! And the worst part? The little not-baby just fell asleep. In my bed. I had half a mind to push him off but, upon seeing his sleeping face, I found that I couldn't do a thing to him.
Why does he sleep with his eyes open holy didgeridoo if I touch him I'll definitely go to hell in two seconds or something.
If you thought it was because I couldn't touch a child, you're partially right. But it was mostly because I was pretty sure Reborn was someone who could take over hell single-handedly. AKA, someone I really don't want to mess with.
Sigh. Looks like I'll have to take out the spare futon.
"Must you follow me to school?" I could just feel my sanity slowly slipping away from me.
"Oh, Sawada-san?" I blinked and looked away from Reborn for a second to see my classmate, Sasagawa Kyoko, standing in front of me. I gave her a small smile and a wave. I quite liked Sasagawa-san; she was nice and friendly, although a bit oblivious, and had a good heart. She kind of reminded me of my mother, now that I thought of it. Huh, no wonder I was fond of her.
"Sasagawa-san, it's nice to see you," I greeted politely. I could see her eyes being drawn to Reborn. Darn, now I have to make an excuse for his presence.
"Ciaossu."
"Hello little guy, why are you wearing a suit?"
"Because I'm in the Mafia." I fought the urge to facepalm. Well, I guess you could do that too. Sometimes I forgot that the truth could be uttered loudly and bluntly, but people would only hear what they want to hear. Humans are kind of… Sigh.
Incoming, hostile, six o' clock.
My body stiffened and I quickly spun around, adopting an almost defensive position to see… Mochida Kensuke. I but back another sigh as I relaxed. Seriously, what was that all about? Mochida-senpai wasn't a threat, he was a schoolmate! However, my intuition hasn't been wrong before…
Man, this is confusing.
(Do you doubt yourself, Dame-Tsuna?)
I gave a slight bow and a polite greeting to the older boy. When he didn't answer, I glanced up at his face and blinked in confusion at the hostility in his eyes. What did I do? What did I do?!
"What are you doing, talking to Kyoko-chan like that?" What. What? What?!
"I said hi to her when I saw her? Like a normal classmate would?" I paused as a thought occurred to me. "Wait, do you like like Sasagawa-san? I thought you were dating Fujimoto-senpai? Or have you guys broken up?" I saw Mochida-senpai and Fujimoto-senpai making out about a week ago. Ah wait, now that I was thinking about it, he was also unusually intimate with Oshiro-san too…
Cheater, liar, cheater, liar.
Oh. "You're cheating on Fujimoto-senpai?" Now that I think of it, it was a really bad idea to say that out loud. It was also really insensitive and stupid of me. However, it did let me see an interesting sight; the sight of Mochida-senpai reddening in total and utter humiliation and anger.
Leave. Leave now.
Ah, my intuition was calling me. Goodbye my friends, I am gone.
"U-uh see you in school Mochida-senpai. B-bye," I quickly stuttered out before grabbing Reborn and making a break for Namimori Middle School. I can foresee that this would be one of the points in my life in which I will look back on and regret. Hopefully, hopefully, nothing bad would happen and Mochida-senpai wouldn't do anything to me.
Ahaha, who was I kidding? I'm dead. Goodbye dear anonymity. Goodbye dear peaceful life.
(It was gone the moment you were born, Da-me-Tsu-na.)
Everything is horrible and I hate the world. All my classmates were staring at me. Staring and whispering, no doubt horrid rumours of whatever had happened this morning on the way to school. I really want to stay, that as an experienced past-adult, people would grow out of this childish act but I would be lying. It's kind of sad, really.
Thank god it was the end of the school day, though. I was pretty sure if I spent another moment in such a horrid and suffocating environment, I'd start to cry. Oh, and I also need to find Reborn; the guy disappeared the moment I reached school. I wonder where he went. Hope he's not hurt…
(He won't be. He's a lot better than you are.)
"Whoa, you can't go home yet!" There were a bunch of boys outside my classroom.
(Nakahara, Tachibana, Kobayashi. From the Kendo club. Mochida's allies. Our enemies. What're gonna do, Dame-Tsuna?)
I tensed up. What did they want? To gang up on me? No… that wasn't it. They weren't hostile. Yet.
"Captain Mochida's waiting for you in the dojo."
Oh. Oh.
They didn't give me a chance to answer before they scooped me up and proceeded to ran to said dojo.
I regret everything.
"There you are, you bastard! How dare you try to sully my name in your attempt to take Kyoko-chan as your own!" Wow, what a beautiful greeting. I have absolutely no idea what he's going on about.
"God may forgive a piece of shit like you, but I won't!" he continued loudly, "I shall smite you!"
Okay, who actually says these kind of things in this day and age?
"Wait, so you aren't dating Fujimoto-senpai and Oshiro-san at the same time?" Ah, he's turning red again. That really is a strange colour. Is it even healthy?
When Mochida-senpai recovered, he began to explain the rules of Kendo to me. He didn't answer my question, which was mean of him. We really need to clear up this confusion.
"The prize is, of course, Sasagawa Kyoko!" he ended off. I twitched.
"Sasagawa-san is not a prize! Do you even respect her as a fellow human being?" Man, I heard rumours about this but I didn't really want to believe them. Looks like Mochida-senpai is an irritating male chauvinist. I had strong feelings of dislike towards these sort of people due to the way my mother brought me up in my past life.
(But not this one. Sawada Nana seems to allow people from everywhere to walk over her. So much weaker than your previous mother.)
(She is strong in her own right. Please do not compare them.)
Oh. Mochida-senpai is turning that interesting colour again.
Go get your shinai. No, not that one. Not the one they're carrying. It's bad.
I bypassed the shinai Mochida-senpai's juniors were carrying, making a beeline to the selection of shinais available. Quietly listening to my intuition, I ran my hand over each one before stopping when I received a positive feeling.
I grabbed the shinai and turned around, choosing to forego the (super heavy) armour, to face Mochida-senpai. He gave a smirk. "Are you sure you don't want to wear the armour?" he asked in a condescending tone. Wow. What a douchelord. I could only nod in agreement. His smirk got wider.
"I won't hold back! Eat this, you peon!" He swung his shinai down on me with frightening force. I jumped back to avoid the blow and, after that, everything blurred into the familiar haze of instincts and intuition.
Dodge, dodge, dodge. Make your first strike your last.
An opening!
My shinai landed straight on his head, forcing him to his knees. Oops, I used a bit more force than I should've. Looking at the referee, I was slightly surprised to see him not raising my flag. Didn't he see me bring his captain to his knees? Pretty sure the whole school saw it. Why wouldn't the guy raise the flag? Unless…
Wow, this guy's great at making himself look bad, huh? I don't even need to do anything.
Dodge, hit.
Mochida (not senpai because I'm not going to give a cheating, lying, chauvinist any respect) actually fell to the ground this time. I think I actually gave him a concussion. Oh dear. I glanced at the referee again, this time letting my eyes go half-lidded. I felt a warmth seep through me that meant orange was bleeding into the brown of my eye (which I never really got but chalked it up to one of those Anime Things) and watched with satisfaction as the referee flinched and quickly raised my flag. Fighting back a smirk, I gave him a bright smile. There was a moment of utter silence before everyone in the dojo suddenly ran up to me with a roar. I flinched violently, letting out a somewhat embarrassing shriek.
"Congratulations! You won!" Was the start of a thousand other friendly shouts and pats. Suddenly, everyone knew my name. It was overwhelming and terrifying at the same time.
Seriously. I regret everything.
"Sawada-san!" Someone called out just as I left the dojo. It was Sasagawa-san and Kurokawa-san. Tilting my head slightly to the side, I gave a small smile and waited for her to speak.
"Thanks for standing up for me." She gave a shy smile, not meeting my eyes. Kurokawa-san gave me a smirk. I suddenly felt pretty uncomfortable and flustered. I could just feel myself blushing.
"It's no problem, Sasagawa-san" I muttered, looking on the ground. "Anyone would do that."
"Please, call me Kyoko! We're friends, right?" I paused. Friends, huh? I…
(Gonna turn her down? Well of course you are, coward. Dame-Tsuna, stuck in the past, never being able to move forward. Alone. You'll di-)
"Then I would like it if you called me Tsuna. Same goes to you, Kurokawa-san." I gave another, much brighter smile.
(Well this is new.)
"Tch, I guess you can call me Hana."
(You're starting to move on.)
"Kyoko-chan and Hana-chan, then?"
(Is that a bad thing?)
"Sure."
(Well, that's entirely up to you, isn't it, Sawada Tsunayoshi?)
Author's note: Somehow the tone changed. Ugh.
I was gonna put Gokudera in? But he didn't make it. That's sad. He'll be in the next chapter though, I'm sure of it.
Wonder who's the dude talking in the italic brackets. I don't know either, but I have an idea.
Seriously, what happened to this Tsunayoshi? I was gonna make him withdrawn but still with a quiet confidence. But with a low self-esteem? Not really low self-esteem, he just thinks that others think the worst of him.
And pairings. Huh. I don't think there'll be any pairings.
(just wait im gonna turn this into all27 or something just for shits and giggles)
Also should I do future arc or what. Nice!Byakuran? Because if it's nice!Byakuran, I have an idea.
I want to deviate from canon but it doesn't seem like it's gonna happen. I'll try though.
