A/N: Thanks for the reviews! D On to chapter twooo...

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Chapter Two

"Hey, Genis?"

"Yeah, Lloyd?"

"How long have we been hiding under your bed?"

Genis checked his magic elfy-powered watch. "Four hours and twenty-seven minutes,"

"You wanna go to Colette's and make fun of Frank's moustache?"

". . . alright then,"

So the dynamic duo crawled out of Genis' house and started the long and perilous journey through the village square to Colette's house. It actually wasn't really that long, nor was it very perilous. But, they used that as an excuse as to why it had taken them four-plus hours to meet their friend.

"-and so then I cut off the bastard's head, and me and Genis just barely escaped, and that's why we're late," Lloyd concluded to energetic applause from Colette, as well as dull stares from Phaidra, Frank, Kratos, and the creepy Mayor.

"Er, that's great and all, Lloyd," Frank began. "But we're kinda trying to plan Colette's journey of-"

"Hey, I don't wanna hear that from someone with a freaking moustache!" hollered Lloyd. Frank started crying.

"Um, anyways," the creepy Mayor cleared his throat. "Kratos, you follow Colette and make sure she doesn't die or anything. Raine'll come too, because she's good at that kind of stuff,"

"R-Raine is going on the journey?" Genis asked in what may or may not have been starry-eyed joy.

"Hey, wait!" shouted Lloyd. "I wanna go too! I'm a better fighter than that Kratos guy!" Kratos gave Lloyd an evil glare.

"If I recall correctly, it was 'that Kratos guy' who saved you from that fat guy back at the temple," said Kratos sharply.

"I had everything totally under control, until you interupted!"

"Lloyd, your sword skills suck and your fifteen-freaking-years old!"

"I'm seventeen, thank you very much!"

"You're still just a kid!"

"You wear purple spandex!"

"You have stupid suspenders!"

"You have a big nose!"

"You have ugly hair!"

"You suck!"

"You suck more!"

What was promising to be a great bitch-fight was put to an end by the creepy Mayor, who told Lloyd to shut the hell up and booted the brown-haired youth out of the house before he could cause anymore trouble.

"GRAAAAAAAAH!" Lloyd screamed as Genis followed him out the door. "That Kratos makes me SO FREAKING MAD!" Just then, Colette leapt out the door after the pair. Using her insane tripping skills, she fell face-first in the dirt.

"Wa ha ha ha!" Genis laughed. "You suck, Colette!"

Lloyd tried hard not to laugh. "You OK, Colette?" Colette grinned up at him, seemingly oblivious to the blood streaming from her muddy nose. "Yup, I'm good. Oh, yeah," she stood up and dusted herself off. "Sorry Kratos totally kicks your ass, Lloyd."

"It's not like it's your fault," Lloyd replied. "Hey, wait a-!"

"Oh, yeah!" Genis interjected. "Happy Birthday, Colette!" He reached into his magical elfy pocket and pulled out a colorfully wrapped box. "I baked you some cookies! If I knew you'd be leaving today, I would've made something more special, but..."

"Oh, no, I love your cookies!" Colette grinned, grabbed the box, and shoved the whole thing down her Chosen throat. "Mm-mm! Delicious!" She giggled.

"So, what about you, Lloyd?" Genis turned to his friend. "You promised you'd make her a necklace, right?"

"Errrr..." Lloyd nervously looked everywhere but into Colette's face. "Er, see, I had it all done, but then, there was this earthquake, right? And a hole opened up in the ground, and, ah... a big monster came out! It tried to eat me whole, but I fought it off! Then, it, uh, it told me about how his wife was sick and he had six kids to feed and, er, he needed a necklace to sell so he could pay rent! Yeah, so I was all like, Dude, I've got a necklace here! But it's for my friend, see, it's her birthday coming up. So he got all like, pleeeeease! So I gave it to him out of the goodness of my heart, and made you a new one. It-it's almost done, so I'll give it to you... tomorrow, before you leave."

Colette's big blue eyes swam with tears. "Ooh, the poor little monster! You're such a good person, Lloyd!" she threw her arms around her friend. Then she turned and, sobbing uncontrollably, disappeared into her house and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Liar." Genis said dryly.

"What?" Lloyd looked shocked. "How could you tell?"

Genis rolled his eyes. "Well, whatever. Look, you're going home now, right? Can I come with you? There's someone I want to tell about the Oracle. A... friend,"

"What?" Lloyd's look of shock returned. "I didn't know you had friends!" Genis gave him an evil look that rivaled Kratos'. "Er, friends... outside of the village, I mean! Besides me, 'cause we're best buds, right?" Lloyd threw his arm around the elf, who groaned.

"Whatever. Let's go," So, they goed.

"Uh..." Lloyd came to a halt as they passed Genis' house. "Uh-oh..."

"What?" asked Genis.

"I forgot to put the Sorcerer's Ring back."

"Huh?" Genis looked confused. "Were you planning too?"

"No," Lloyd admitted. "I just wanted to make it seem like it was an accident so that you wouldn't think I stole it,"

"Oh, OK. Don't, like, kill anyone, alright?" Lloyd reluctantly agreed, and the pair headed out of the village.

"Hey, Lloyd!" shouted a cool soldier guy as they reached the village gate. "Isn't this your pet? Make it go away!" He pointed at a really big dog-creature with really really big ears.

"Hey, Noishe!" cried Lloyd, running to give his doggy a hug. Noishe gave him a big sloppy kiss. "Noishe, don't come into the village, you idiot!" Noishe whined. "What's that? You say you're not in the village?" Lloyd looked and saw that, in fact, Noishe stood just outside of the village borders. "Hey, you're right! G'boy! G'boy!" He hugged his doggy again.

"Er, Lloyd?" the cool soldier asked.

"M'yes?"

"The mayor says not to go near the Human Ranch, 'cause apparently someone's been hanging around there."

"I wouldn't do that! I'm a good little boy!" He tried to smile innocently, but could only manage an evil sneer. "We haven't gone anywhere near the Ranch, right Genis?"

"I haven't been sneaking into the ranch and giving Marble - one of the prisoners - my lunch for the past month! What're you talking about?"

There was a moment of silence.

"See?" Lloyd grinned, pointing to Genis. "You believe Genis, don't you?"

"Aw, he's so cute, how can I not believe every word he says?" The cool soldier patted Genis on his white little head. Genis laughed nervously.

"We can go now, right? Let's go, Lloyd."

"M'kay," said Lloyd. And they left.

--

"Well, this is my stop," Genis said as, a good few minutes of traveling later, the pair came up to a fork in the path.

Lloyd looked skeptically at the structure they had come to. A really really tall fence surrounded a scary grey building. Lightning flashed and evil music played in the background. A huge billboard stood before the building.

"'Iselia Human Ranch'" Lloyd read loudly. "'Authorized Personnel Only'. Why the hell do you want to go there?"

"Err," Genis erred.

"Doesn't going there, like, totally break the Non-Aggression Treaty?"

"Um..."

"This is, like, totally breaking the rules,"

"Well..."

"Didn't that soldier guy, like, just tell us not to come here?"

"Eh..."

"This is so cool!" Lloyd squealed. "Let's go!"

So they did.

"Hey, Marble!" Genis whispered through the fence. "Marble! Marble!"

"HEY, MARBLE!" Lloyd hollered. "MAR-BLE!" Several faces turned to him, so they jumped into some bushes.

"Did you hear something?" asked Desian Number One Hundred Twenty-Seven. His buddy Number Fifty-Nine, who'd been entertaining himself by making some humans push around big heavy rocks, shook his head.

"Hmph, I don't think she heard us," said Lloyd, poking his head out of the bush. He stepped up to the fence. "I'll try again. HEY-" Genis smacked his hand over Lloyd's mouth. Just then, Marble walked up.

"Hey, Genis," the old lady said cheerfully. "Is this your friend?"

"No," Genis answered, keeping his hand over Lloyd's mouth. "I fed it one day, and it keeps coming back,"

"You're mean, Genis!" Lloyd wailed, successfully prying Genis' hand away. Marble reached out her hand to shut the swordsman up, but she got zapped on the electric fence.

"Fuck!" she cried, holding her zapped hand tenderly.

"Um, anyway," Genis began. "I saw the Oracle, Marble, and-"

"Hey, Grams!" Lloyd interrupted loudly. He pointed at her non-zapped hand. "Isn't that an exsphere?" indeed, a pretty gem perched innocently on her wrinkly old hand.

"Yeah, that's great Lloyd. So, I saw the Oracle and he said-" But poor Genis was interrupted yet again.

"I dunno," Marble shrugged. "They put this on me when I came here,"

"Yeah, that's definitely an exsphere..." Lloyd ignored Genis' squeals behind him and leaned toward the fence for a closer look. "Can I see it?"

Marble held out her exsphered hand, but shocked her hand on the fence again.

"G'dammit!"

"Yeah, but it doesn't have a Key Crest..." Lloyd mused, oblivious to Marble's shrieks of pain. "An exsphere without a Key Crest is dangerous, you know."

"How come?" Genis asked.

"See, exspheres make you stronger if you stick 'em on your hand," Lloyd said, trying to act smart. "But then they make you sick. So you make a sexy charm, that is, a Key Crest, and it protects you from dying and shit."

"Oh. But, Marble's exsphere doesn't have a Key Crest..."

"I know, that's what I said. I'd make one, but only dwarves know how."

"Uh, Lloyd? Your dad's a dwarf."

"Oh, yeah. I'll ask him then,"

"Alright! Didja hear that Marble?" Genis turned to his old friend, grinning.

"Aw, you're so sweet!" Marble tried to give Genis a big hug, but got electrocuted again.

"F-f-f-f-f-fu-u-fu-fuc-c-c-ck-k-k!" she stammered. Just then, a mean voice shouted from behind her.

"Hey, who keeps poking the fence? Is that you, Number Two Hundred Nine? I keep telling you, it'll shock you if you touch it!"

"It's not me, Fifty-Nine!"

"Eh, I'd better go check it out."

"Oh no! The Desians! Quick, you two, hide-" Marble turned to find that Genis and Lloyd had long since fled. "Bastards," she mumbled.

"Hey, old hag! What the hell you doin' over here?" Marble found herself face-to-face with Desian Number Fifty-Nine.

"You get a kick outta getting electrocuted, or what?" asked number One Hundred Twelve.

"Cut it out, will ya? It's totally wasting electricity and shit." added number Sixty-Seven.

"Eh, sorry," said Marble. She rubbed the back of her neck nervously.

"Say, why aren't you pushing big-ass rocks like everyone else?"

"Gah! Stupid human! C'mon guys, lets go beat up this innocent old lady 'cause we're just that evil!" So they started beating up poor old Marble.

Meanwhile, Lloyd and Genis watched from up on a cool cliff.

"Woah, dude, she's totally getting her ass kicked!" Lloyd laughed maniacally.

"Lloyd! We've got to help her!" Genis exclaimed. Without waiting for Lloyd to answer, he continued. "I'll attack them with magic from here, and then you jump down at great personal risk and lead them away from the village. I'll hide in the safety of those bushes over there."

"Mm, that'll probably work," mused Lloyd. So, Genis shot the Desians, who got all mad, and turned around to see Lloyd standing right out in the open. Bellowing with rage, Desian Numbers Fifty-nine, One Hundred Twelve, and Sixty-Seven yoinked out their whips and ran after him.

"Uh, shit!" Lloyd ran for it. But, then, Genis did the stupidest thing possible. He tripped. Then, he moaned very very loudly: "Oooow..."

"What was that!" Sixty-Seven stopped in his tracks, causing a domino-like effect when Fifty-Nine ran right into him. Fortunately for them, but unfortunately for Lloyd, One Hundred Twelve remained standing and got a good look at the human.

Oh well. Now Lloyd had an excuse to totally kill them. Which he did. But then more Desians came out after him, so he jumped off a cliff.

By the time Lloyd had landed with a fwump, Genis had ran down the hill after him.

"Omigod, Lloyd, I'm sorry!" he wailed. "They saw your face!"

"Well, yeah," Lloyd shrugged. "But then I killed them, so it's all good. Just do my homework for me, OK?"

Genis glared. "No way. Do your own freaking homework."

"I save your life, and this is the thanks I get? Jeez, you're a real pal, Genis. Why, I outta..." but then Genis ran away, and Lloyd was left on his own. Until Noishe came and gave him a big hug. So, Lloyd and his faithful doggy headed deeper into the forest to their home.

--

Number Twelve stared over the cliff the human had leapt off only minutes before. The drop was easily a hundred feet. How did a mere human make that kind of jump?

Then, from behind him came another half-elf - clearly a main character, as his face wasn't covered by a helmet. Not only that, but he also had a really cool costume and was totally cyborg to boot. Remember him; he's important. He stared over the cliff the human had leapt off only minutes before.

"What the hell?" he grumbled. Then, louder, he ordered, "Check the data from the gate surveillance system,"

"Yessir," said Number Twelve, and he scurried off to do so.

The important Desian gazed down the cliff again. The drop was easily a hundred feet.

"How did a mere human make that kind of jump?"