My eyes scanned the night as I stood atop the highest branch of a giant pine-tree. I could see the far off pin-pricks of light of the town nearby. But aside from that, the night was undisturbed and silent. My mind, on the other hand, was another matter all together.

It had been four days since I had fled from Forks and out here, in the Denali woodland, it was hard to remember how delectable the scent of Edward Swan was. With only the fresh forest air for me to breath in, I could almost imagine myself able to return. I almost jumped and ran for home but the memory hit me again, as it had done every day, and I slumped back against the trunk of the tree.

The whistle of wind that came with the speed only vampires could achieve hit my ears. I stiffened in defence but quickly relaxed as I caught the 'tone' of the thoughts drawing closer to me.

BELLA!

The silver-blond head of my friend Ariana (a/n sorry i got rid of Tanya i don't like her much) popped up onto my branch where she settled herself gracefully and cocked her head questioningly to look at me.

Bella, why are you here? she questioned.

"Hello to you too." I said, nodding at her. She raised her eyebrows at me as I dodged her question.

What are you running from? she thought, her curious amber eyes boring into mine. I closed my eyes, shaking my head to clear it.

"Ariana" I said at last, opening my eyes "have you ever met anyone, a human, who smells better to you than any of the others? much better?" I asked her, hanging my head in shame.

Ah yes 'la tua cantante' she thought, smiling a sad smile,while her eyes filled with sympathy. once she continued. I didn't last five seconds. I regret it, that poor girl.

Like my family and i, Ariana and her coven preferred to satiate their thirst with animal rather than human blood. I could feel the shame, regret and sorrow through her thoughts.

Is that what you are running from Bella? You must have so much self control not to run back to forks and kill this poor human.

She felt proud of me. Proud? Proud because I had managed not to give into the demons I knew resided within me? Proud because I had had to restrain myself to not kill an innocent human? Proud that I wanted with all my body to murder Edward Swan? My recently butterscotch eyes burned black as the memory reminded me of his tantalizingly scented blood.

Ariana must have noticed because she pulled me up sharply.

Come on Bella, let's hunt. She back-flipped off the branch, making me laugh at her antics.

"show off" I mumbled, knowing she would hear.

her tinkling giggle reached my ears with ease as I as I threw myself high up into the air and plummeted towards the earth. I landed gracefully upright and took off running after her. Her scent was easy to trace.

I caught up with her easily, my speed being superior to many of our kind. We stopped as we reached a small clearing in the center of the forest. I darted ahead and threw myself at the herd of deer that were convened in the open space. The scent was repulsive to me with the memory of Edward's blood in my head but I pushed that thought to the back of my mind as I pounced. I brought down the buck, effortlessly breaking it's neck and pressed my mouth to it's throat.

When we were satisfied, Ariana came to face me, using words this time, rather than thoughts.

"go back Bella." she said quietly " you are strong enough for this."

I looked away, avoiding the trusting gaze that I didn't deserve. Everyone always thought the best of me. Why did no-one realize the monster than lied inside of me?

"look at me!" she demanded. I raised my head.

"I know you Isabella Cullen. you are home-sick. You miss your family, and I know that they miss you. Esme especially. You are strong enough for this. I would not tell you this if it were not true" her long lost Welsh accent began to creep into her speech.

"Go home Bella." and with that she stepped forward and hugged me with enough force to break a humans back" be sure to visit some-time soon, but when you have less on your mind."

With a tinkling laugh and a gust of wind she was gone.

I sat on the forest ground and closed my eyes. Images rolled behind my eyes like a movie screen. Emmet, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Alice and Esme.

That last one hurt the most. I hated the fact that I had hurt her, leaving without a goodbye.

It was this that decided it for me. My family was too important for me to just throw away. I would make Esme happy again. I would make them all happy again. I didn't know why my being there made them happy. I was nothing but a monster yet they looked past this to see me as family. And family makes people happy.

As I made my decision, I knew that Alice's visions would have changed to fit me back in the picture again. I hoped she would tell Esme but, knowing Alice, she would want to keep this a surprise as long as she could.

I laughed to myself. the first proper laugh in four days.

A pair of startlingly green eyes swam across my lids. Edward Swan's eyes questioned me as I stood, wondering what this decision had in store for him. Though of course I couldn't be sure, even in my imagination his mind was silent.

I opened my eyes and threw myself back into the trees that surrounded me. My car was only a few miles away and in the darkness, no one would see me. Perfect.

Leaves and branches lashed out at me, as though clawing at me to stay. But I didn't care.

I was going home.