Chapter Two

"Now," Mr. Daniels started once everyone took their seats, "this baby will cry when it wants to be held," he picked up the last baby and cradled it in his arms, "and fed." He grabbed a bottle from another box and held it to its mouth. "There is a memory cam embedded in its body so I will know if you have neglected its cry or dropped it from a two story window. And just to cover all my basis, if you do this, it will have a great impact on your grade in the negative sense. So care for this baby as if it was real and you should have no problems. Now get with your partners and come up with a schedule for who gets it when."

The room filled with sighs and the grinding of chairs against the tiled floor as the students reconnected with their partners. Buffy turned her desk around and Spike moved forward to the chair in front of her. "All right, let's get this over with," he said as he plopped down in his chair.

"Fine by me."

"I'll have her Monday, Wednesday and Friday, you'll have her Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and we'll switch around on Sundays. There we go."

"There is no way I am taking this thing on Saturdays. That's all you."

"Bullocks. I ain't draggin' this thing around on my weekend."

"Well I don't want to either."

"I over rule you."

"What!"

"I'm the father."

Buffy's mouth fell open again. "Hello 1953, I'm the dawn of the 21st century. I am NOT taking it Saturday!"

"Well neither am I. Let's change it every other Saturday."

"Fine. But you go first." Buffy handed Spike the baby. "Have fun with junior. And make sure she gets to bed on time okay?"

"I can't take her this Saturday, you'll have to take her."

"I don't think so."

"C'mon Summers I'll take it two Saturdays in a row," Spike offered.

"What are you doing that is so important? You have a bleach blondes convention or something?"

"Crafty one Summers. And it's none of your business. I just can't have it. You take her."

"What about me? I have a life and friends too ya know."

"Well you can have a play date for the buggers, I don't care. I just can't take her." He handed Buffy the baby and folded his arms.

"Okay baby."

"You're talkin' to it?" he said with disgust.

"I was referring to you." Buffy held the baby in her arms and paused, realizing how quiet the room was. Her and Spike looked around and noticed 17 faces staring at them.

Luckily the bell rang so Buffy could escape all the stares. She grabbed the baby and her backpack before she ran out the door. "Thanks a lot Sport," Buffy sneered.

Her partner, on her heels, corrected, "Spike. And that was not my fault."

She paused in her step and turned around. "Not your fault? You were the one being a pompous whatchamacallit."

"Excuse me?"

"No, not excused. Very much not excused." With that Buffy stormed off.

She went to her locker, removed a few books from her bag and slammed it shut. "I guess Health wasn't very beneficial today?" someone said.

"Willow!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around her neck. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah I'll be okay. I just have a head throbbing away but I'll live."

"I'm glad. For you," she quickly added. "As in the rest of my day, well that just took a turn for horrible."

"Why, what happened?" she asked, afraid she might have too fainted.

"There you are," Xander stated, as if they were lost. "Willow, nice to see you vertical again. I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift."

"For me?" Willow asked with excitement. Xander handed her one of the dolls from his book bag. "Thanks Xander but I think I'm a little old for this stuff."

"That's what I was thinking but Mr. Daniels thinks otherwise."

"Huh?"

"We have to watch these things as if they're real babies. Apparently he thinks this will decrease the non-over populated population of our town," Buffy summed up.

"And you're my husband?" Willow asked Xander.

"Sadly, on both of our counts, I'm not. I'm paired with Malibu Barbie."

"Then who am I paired with?"

"Well, there was an odd number in class so since you weren't there…" Xander let her fill in the blank.

"I'm a single parent? But I have a 98 average and come from a good Jewish family. I can't be a single parent."

"Will, this isn't real. Babies do not come from factories. Unless you lied to me in second grade," Xander said.

"I'll gladly switch with you. I'm paired with Spike."

Willow's eyes widened, now understanding the "horrible" part of Buffy's day. "Being single shouldn't be too bad… Right?"

"My mom's doing a great job with it," the blonde remarked. "Xander, where's your baby? Don't tell me Cordelia actually took it for the first day."

"It's in my bag."

"In your bag? It could suffocate!" Willow exclaimed, taking over the mother role quickly.

"Harris," a brunette with a slight curl to her hair called.

"Speak of the devil," he turned to face her, "and she doth appear."

"Haha. Here smart ones, you left your bottles behind." Cordelia handed one to each of her non-friends.

"That's uncharacteristically nice of you," Buffy said, stunned.

"Don't flatter yourselves, I was ambushed by Mr. Daniels. And I don't want a bad grade because my insignificant other didn't grab one," she said in Xander's direction.

"I'm sure that won't be why you'd get a bad grade. You'll probably be the one dropping it on it's head and accidentally lighting it on fire with the stove."

"Excuse me?"

"You're right. You don't cook."

"I'm the one bringing in the money," she countered.

"From Daddy's account. Excuse me for not graveling at your feet Princess."

Now they were standing an inch away from each other, getting closer every time one of them spoke. "You better hope that nothing happens to that baby because so help me-"

"Hey, we're late!" Willow said, trying to change the subject.

"Right, for that thing," Buffy continued. "That… uh…."

"Library. We were going to the library. See ya later Cordelia," Willow said as she grabbed Xander's hand and pulled him down the hall. Buffy did a little wave and followed them.

Once in the library Willow let go of Xander. "Hey General Custard, are there any more people you want to attack?"

"Why am I getting singled out? She's the one we don't like."

"She's also the one that could kick your ass in a fist fight," Buffy chimed in.

"No she couldn't." Buffy and Willow gave him an are-you kidding-me look. "Not badly."

"Hello?" the librarian called. "Can I help you?"

"Oh, hi Mr. Giles," Buffy said with shock. She forgot that Spike's dad was the librarian. "We were just…"

"Lookin' for me?" said a familiar voice. He emerged from Giles' office.

Buffy's face of shock became one of anger. "Why would you think that?"

"Because you ain't exactly the book type."

"William, please," Giles insisted. "What are you here for?"

After a moment of hesitation Buffy said, "I was wondering if Spike grabbed a bottle… for the baby."

Giles' face surprisingly kept the same vast expression but he cautiously turned to his son. "It's a project for health," Spike said in defense. "And no I didn't grab a bloody bottle."

"Of course you didn't. That would be too responsible for you." Buffy turned on her heels and left the library. Willow and Xander just gave a quick smile to the librarian before following their friend out.

"Well she seems lovely," Giles commented.

Spike rolled his eyes and returned to his dad's office. "If you mean dreadful then yeah, she's Mary bloody Poppins."

"Can you believe him?" Buffy asked once they made it outside of the school's walls.

"Spike's a jerk. We knew this," Xander reminded.

"But he just… I just…" Buffy mimicked her strangling him with her hands. "Forget it. So are we still hanging out tonight?"

"I don't' think The Bronze will appreciate the not so distant crying of fake infants. And as I guy I would rather not be seen with one. Hence the backpack."

"You should really take the baby out of there, Mr. Daniels could be watching as we speak. If that's how that works," Buffy wondered.

"I don't want to bring my baby to The Bronze either. And there's no way I'm going to ask my mom to watch him. I don't' even want to think about those questions." Willow shook her head, trying to erase the replay of the imaginary incident. Unfortunately she forgot she had recently fainted onto a hard floor and her head was still in it's throbbing state. She grabbed it in pain and annoyance that it still hurt.

"All right. I'll call you guys." Buffy headed off down the street.

At home her mother was searching through a few boxes of stuff for the gallery. She heard the door close in a non-angry fashion and asked, "Buffy?"

"Present."

"How was school?" She reached into the box and pulled out another object.

"Not bad with a side of awful." Buffy walked into the kitchen and kissed her mom on the cheek.

"Why was it awful?" Joyce asked, turning her attention to her daughter.

Buffy plopped the baby on the countertop. "Say hi to your new grand daughter." Once she put it down it started to cry. The crying made Joyce jolt back a step. "Great." Buffy picked it up and held it so it's head looked over her shoulder.

"What on earth is that?"

"Project for Health class."

"That seems a little much for high school students," her mother stated.

"Feel free to tell Mr. Daniels that." The baby continued crying so Buffy went to the dining room to grab the bottle from her bag. She held it to its mouth and after a minute it stopped crying. "And complain about my, for lack of a better term, partner."

"Who are you partnered with?"

"Spike Giles."

"The librarian's son?"

"The Omen himself."

"Buffy, that's not very nice."

"Didn't you ever see the movie mom? He isn't very nice." Buffy grudgingly took the doll and went up the stairs to her room. She plopped down on her bed, holding the baby to her chest, but it cried anyway. She rolled her eyes, let out a sigh of frustration and tried to "rock it to sleep."