From all the eight hundred years that I had lived, I had loved many times. I had got my heart broken more times that I would like to admit, even to myself. I had been enthralled and touched only a few times. And things that surprised me, were each time lesser. However, there was no moment of my long life that I met a person that caused all this reaction in me or that had stolen my heart ... not until I met Alexander Guideon Lightwood.

He had been a box of surprises since the moment I met him and his golden heart had touched me deeply. I had fallen in love with him when he kissed me in front of everyone before we went to war, not caring for nothing or anyone but my happiness. He was the first one that ever did that, the only person that loved me enough to put me first before himself. And I had gotten my heart broken when he decided to meet with my ex behind my back, betraying my trust.

Alexander didn't only did this but he also stole my heart completely. I am sure that I would never fall in love again, he is it for me. When he dies... that is not something I want to think about. Never. It kills me the simple thought of it. I might be dying right now, for all that I know. My world has been upside down since I lost him... since he left my life.

I'm so glad you made time to see me
How's life, tell me how's your family?
I haven't seen them in a while
You've been good, busier then ever
We small talk, work and the weather
Your guard is up and I know why

Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You gave me roses and I left them there to die

"Mr. Bane, what do you think about this matter?" asked me Robert Lightwood. The simple fact that he was addressing me politely was surprising, but that he asked me for my opinion was shocking.

"We all know that he will be in your son's side" sneered a shadow hunter "After the big scene they played in the Accord Hall".

The way he spoke about us, with so much hater and repulse, made me see red "Really? 'A scene we played'? I think that I saw you kiss your wife before fighting, why can't we do the same?" I asked in a mocking polite voice.

"Because you are an abomination, you shall burn in hell for what you do!" he yelled in rage.

"An abomination?! We are just people in love, for God's sake!" I exclaimed in outrage.

"See! This is what Alexander was talking about" pointed out Luke in a tired tone "We can't see pass our own interest, fears and pride. We are not able to accept the wrong we had done or the ones that are different from us. Listen to what he said".

"We already did" replied a vampire.

"No we didn't. We just heard him and then kicked him out of the conversation he created" said Penhallow "We need to listen to Alexander, he is the key to finally have a better relationship together".

"What do you expect us to do Consul? Forget all the pain we had been inflicted and move on?" questioned a witch "It isn't that simple".

"I know that, but trying to put our differences away and be civil is the least we can do" she answered "We can start with accepting the conditions that Alexander put to the Faeries".

I watched the scene in amazement. Centuries of discussion and hater were starting to be resolved just because a nephelin finally spoke up? But it wasn't just any nephelin. We were talking Alexander, the only half angel that doesn't think himself superior to the others. The only one that took time to get to know the others better and really liked Downworlders, with no judgment.

And I let him go. I chased away the only good thing that ever happened to me go away. I just hope he could ever forgive me and let me in again... but I know that it wasn't possible. Not when I hurt him so much, and especially not when I can not do the only thing he asked of me and he always did... be honest. But I'll have to do that. If I ever want to get him back into my life, I have to open up.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December, turn around and make it all right
I go back to December all the time

These days I haven't been sleeping
Staying up playing back myself leaving
When your birthday passed and I didn't call
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times
I watched you laughing from the passenger side
And realized I'd loved you in the fall
And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye

I grabbed my notebook and began writing down the stories of my life, that were the most impacting, into it.

"You talk about equality and coming to an understanding with us, but when it comes to an union between you and us you look down upon us" spoke a she werewolf, which I am almost sure that is married to a nephelin "You'll have to accept marriage between a downworlder and a nephelim legally, for us to know that you are talking seriously" I admired her bravery. For a downworlder to talk back like that was strange "If you believe that this... union has a future, you'll have to start treating us as equals".

"As long as I am alive, I will not let that happen!" the same nephelim that shouted at me, spoke again.

Of course things would never go so easily. There will always be someone that will refuse the change.

"Let's calm down, everybody" demanded my good old friend Raphael, who looked beat after all we had to go through in Hell "One problem at the time. First let's choose how to punish the Faeries, then we can discuss equality in another meeting. But not everything at once, we must remember that some of us were in Hell just an hour ago" he pointed at me, Luke, Jocelyn and himself "I give Alexander my vote. I think that his decision and ideas are the best way stop another war from part of the Faeries, and it will help us all in the meanwhile".

"I give Alec my vote as well" I announced with a smile "Let's be honest, people. The only thing he wants is peace and a better future for everyone. Also, a young mind is way better than one old and full of rancor".

"I'll follow Alexander's choice too" Penhallow said.

"Me too" added Luke and Jocelyn.

"For me my son's idea is the right one" Maryse spoke up.

"I think that as well" Robert told everyone. This might be the only time I had ever seen them in accord with something.

And like that one by one, the ninety percent of the people in here, gave their vote to Alexander. However, I could sense that the ten percent left wouldn't stay quiet and will try to do something to stop this 'sacrilege'. But I'll be there for Alec and will protect him with my life... even if he doesn't accept me back.

After writing the treaty in paper, with all of Alexander's conditions, the Consul, Inquisitor and the ambassador of each Downworlder specie (Luke, Raphael and me). We called everyone back to the room, so we could announce the results for everyone. Also, we needed the new Seelie Queen and Alexander to sign the treaty.

However, my lovely blue eyed shadow hunter wasn't there. As we couldn't make everyone wait for only one person, we began the meeting. Penhallow announced that we decided to follow Alexander's idea to punish the Faeries and carried on explaining all the conditions.

"Do you agree with this treaty Seelie Queen?" Penthouse asked the Fearie, who had a smile in her face.

"Yes, I am" she replied.

"Remember that you will have to go against the Wild Hunt and return the shadow hunter that they stole" I reminded her. I knew that Helen, Aline and Alexander were good friend, and that he spoke up principally for them.

"That was already done" the Seelie Queen announced. The door, suddenly, slammed open and the oldest Blackthorn entered the room. He ran towards his siblings and hugged them "Alexander did something that no other shadow hunter ever did before... he stood up for Downworlders and meant every word he did. That is something we will never forget. That's why we would have returned Blackthorn even if you wouldn't have accepted Alexander's idea" she explained and proceed to sign the treaty.

Out of the blue, the doors of the room slammed open again. And Alexander barged into the room with a man that I never expected to see again... Jem.

"Sorry for the noise" apologized, breathlessly, Alec "I just wanted to get in time before you send Emma to an orphanage" he excused himself "This is brother Zachariah... or ex-brother Zachariah. But he is also a Carstairs and the only living relative that Emma has. He had decided to take guardianship of her and to take care of her training".

"Hi, I am Jem Carstairs" he presented himself "Alexander explained me that Emma was going to turn into Julian's parabatai, so she could stay with them. But that is not the right way to turn into parabatais, if you grow up and still want to be parabatais it's ok. But not now... not after so much pain, that you are not thinking straight. So will you stay with me? I'll be living in New York and your friends will be welcomed too".

Emma looked at the Blackthorns and they smiled at her "We will go to New York as well... Los Angeles has a lot of history that we would like not to remember" told her Helen.

"Then I accept" answered Emma.

"Now that everything is resolved, Alexander come here and sign the treaty" ordered Penhallow.

"Treaty?" he asked confused.

"Yes, we accepted your idea" the Consul told him.

He smiled and signed the treaty. Everyone clapped and after a few words, from Penhallow, everyone left the room to their own businesses. I stood up and marched towards Alexander, who was being showered with love and gratefulness from the Blackthorn family.

So this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December all the time
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night
The first time you ever saw me cry
Maybe this is wishful thinking
Probably mindless dreaming
But if we loved again I swear I'd love you right

"Alec, we need to talk" I called out for him. He looked at me shock, as if he was surprised that I would talk to him. That pained me more that I was willing to admit. But he nodded his head anyway and followed me outside. I spoke up again, when I was sure that we were out of range from any piping eyes or ears "Alec... I am truly sorry for all the pain that I caused you. We both hurt each other gravely, but I should have let you explain yourself before shutting you out".

"I would have never accepted Camille's plan to shorten your life" he told me softly.

"I know!" I exclaimed "That's why I am so sorry... and I want you back into my life Alec. You are it for me, I am sure that I would never be able to fall in love again cause you own my heart".

"Magnus... I love you too" he told me with a huge smile that lightened his whole face "But won't do it again. I can't be with someone that doesn't tell me about himself and his past".

"I know. That is why I wrote this" I gave him my notebook "It has the most impacting moments in my life, I hope this might be a start" I was about to turn around when Alexander grabbed me by the arm "Alec?".

"And I'll try to be less jealous, is that a good start?" he asked with a shy smile.

"A perfect start" I replied and leaned down for a kiss.

"What about the future? I will grow old and you will stay the same" he muttered against my lips.

"Let's think about that later. Right now live each day as if it was the last one" I told him before capturing his lips into another kiss.

I'd go back in time and change it but I can't
So if the chain is on your door, I understand

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night
And I go back to December
It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you
Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine
I'd go back to December turn around and make it all right
I'd go back to December turn around and change my own mind
I go back to December all the time all the time