Warning: deals with mentions of rape aftermath, emotional reactions and emotional distress but there are no graphic descriptions of injuries or the actual rape which is why I am confident in keeping the story rated T up to this point. If the rating changes, I will address the change at the top of the chapter.

Rating: T

Dedication: My sister-in-law

Edited by: Grammarly (Free editing software that works with the Fanfiction website and most web browsers.)

Remember: Your opinion matters. Speak up if you have any ideas for the story; I do take comments into consideration.


It was a loud, high pitched scream that brought Santana out of her deep sleep. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up so quickly and so violently and when she did, she could only stare around the room in disgruntled confusion for a few seconds before her mind registered the girl who was thrashing by her side as though she were fighting off an unknown person in her dreams. Tears were streaming down the diva's horror-filled face as she screamed for her attacker to leave her alone.

Heart racing furiously in her chest, she began shaking the brunette in hopes of bringing her out of her dream and after a few moments, Rachel shot into sitting position, sobbing and gasping for air as she frantically glanced around the room, no doubt, trying to figure out where she was or trying to locate some type of mysterious threat. Her face was pale and there was a bit of sweat glistening on her forehead and cheeks in the moonlight.

"Rachel, it's Santana," Santana said in a calm voice; she had learnt last year it was the surest way to bring someone down from one of these attacks and when Rachel turned and faced her with tear-filled eyes, she smiled a small smile. She'd been through this before and she had learnt from the mistakes she made the last time.

What Santana wasn't expecting was Rachel to throw her arms around her and begin sobbing into her neck but she recovered from her shock quick enough to embrace the girl and rub circles into her back. She could feel Rachel's entire body shaking from the intensity of her violent sobs as hot tears began dripping on her shoulder.

"He was at my house! He crawled in my window! He did it again in my bed! He... he... he..."

When Rachel's sobbing overpowered her words, Santana began murmuring into her ear; nothing important, just empty words to bring Rachel's attention away from the situation until she was calm enough to talk about it and now was certainly not the time. She thought about the times she had done this in the past and she frowned as she remembered that nothing she could say could actually calm this down and sometimes it was just best to let the person cry it out.

She remembered the last time she went through this, the mistakes she made in an attempt to comfort her friend and the things she had learnt and though Rachel was a different person entirely, the experience had left her a little more prepared to deal with such an event and she was glad to be able to help more than she felt like she had last time.

She'd learnt many things last time; she'd learnt not to enter a room unannounced, not to initiate physical contact unannounced, be careful with what questions are asked and how and other things she'd learnt from simply observing. But the most difficult thing was: no matter how careful you were, something could still cause a trigger. A breath released at the wrong second, a creek in the floorboard, a flash of a tv program or even the sound of a door opening. It was impossible to keep triggers away completely but she could still do her best.

"Do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

Rachel stared at Santana for a few seconds before she slowly nodded her head but her body seemed to tremble at the idea of revealing what happened.

"It's okay, Rach, we don't have to talk about it now," Santana said, slowly wrapping her arms tighter around the shaking girl. She was just relieved Rachel was open to the idea of possibly discussing it in the future so she could locate the beast that did this to her and kill him slowly; making him feel unimaginable pain, starting with his good for nothing dick.

"Please don't leave me," Rachel whispered, her voice small and broken compared to her usual loud and demanding tone. There was no confidence in her voice, just fear and Santana found herself actually wishing the diva was being her usual self, as annoying as that was, it was far less heartbreaking than the tone in her voice now which was laced with fear and terror. Fear of something she should never have experienced in a place that was supposed to be safe.

Santana was about to speak more when a beep notified her of a text from Quinn; Quinn and Brittany had their own text tones, so it was easy to tell it was her blonde friend texting her.

Q: Coach Sylvester cancelled practice. One of the baby cheerios reported one of the showers was filled with blood and Sue cancelled practice until they figure out whose blood it is. Do you want me to tell her what happened?

Santana sucked in a breath as she ran her hands through Rachel's damp matted hair. Rachel didn't want police involvement or to go to the hospital and she knew Sue would respect that simply because the woman would want to handle something like this in her unorthodox and most likely unlawful manner. Sue took this type of attack very personally, regardless of the victim and the person who did this would most likely find what Santana planned to be merciful in comparison.

S: Tell her but make it clear we don't know details and we can't make Rachel tell us until she's ready. Can you plz pick up a Morning After pill and drop it off?

The last part was a thought that crossed her mind and resulted in her blood turning cold with fear. Had the beast who did this used a condom? She certainly wasn't going to ask Rachel that question, especially not while she was shaking so violently against her in a way that broke her heart as she remembered just yesterday watching the little diva dance in Glee Club with such confidence as she fixed the whole room with a stare of confidence and pure joy. Would Rachel ever do that again? Would she ever be able to walk into the school without trembling in fear? Would she look her in the eyes as she complimented her singing while reminding her that she was still better in the same breath again? Santana would pay right now to have Rachel do that.

Q: Kay. How is she?

Rachel stirred in her arms when she heard the phone beep again but she didn't say anything but Santana felt her fingers clutching the back of her shirt a bit tighter as she nudged closer as though seeking warmth and protection from the Latina from the sound. Once again, she stared around the room for a few seconds as her breath evened out before she settled slightly and stilled in her arms.

S: She's terrified. Can you blame her?

As soon as she sent the text, she put the phone on vibrate so when Quinn responded, the phone wouldn't startle Rachel as much as it did earlier. But it didn't work well because when the phone buzzed without beeping, Rachel still stiffened and automatically looked around the room again as though before burying her face into Santana's shoulder and giving a soft, barely audible whimper. The Latina sighed and rubbed the diva's back as she picked up her cell and read Quinn's reply.

Q: No. Coach Sylvester is livid; never seen her so mad. She's out for blood now.

Santana would have laughed if the circumstances were different as she thought about the person would find himself in the coach's merciless hands. But as she held the trembling form of Rachel Berry, all she would think of was how even that would be too merciful because Sue could not actually kill him. No, Sue had ways of torturing people without leaving physical marks and she had special treatments for people like this. There were rumours floating around the Cheerios around just what the coach did to these people and the rumours including things like planting drugs to assigning endless detentions to hack the grading system to screw up their academic records.

"Santana?"

The voice instantly drew her away from her thoughts as she looked down into Rachel's wide, terrified eyes.

"I'm here," she whispered, her mind reeling viscously at the site of fear in Rachel's eyes; she had never before seen fear in the diva's eyes before and to see it now seemed so wrong and foreign. This was a face that should not fear anything. And that was torn away from her. It made Santana want to murder someone to see the loud and confident girl so nervous and hesitant. It was heartbreaking.

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

Seeing Rachel blush and look away with shame and regret in her eyes suddenly made Santana realise what the 'it' in question was and it must be really uncomfortable if she was actually vocalising her discomfort to her but there was nothing she could do to make that feel better. When Rachel began sobbing again, most likely from embarrassment over her confession, all Santana could do was rub her back. She knew that was an embarrassing confession to make so she decided to be casual about it, as though she's just admitted to having a sore elbow or a bruised knuckle.

"I know, I wish I could do something but there really isn't anything I can do. Would you like to try a warm bubble bath?" Santana asked, knowing it could help, especially if Rachel was still bleeding. When Rachel nodded, she carried her into the bathroom as she'd done earlier and filled the tub with a soothing bubble bath before helping Rachel settle into the water again. The bubbles covered her almost completely but there were still visible bruises on her throat, shoulders and face.

"I'm sorry, Santana. I don't know why I'm acting like this," Rachel said between tremors and shivers she tried to force her body to relax. "I'm being completely irrational but... I can't control it."

"It's normal after what you went through," Santana said, not wanting to tell Rachel how it was likely to get worse before it got better; why would she want to tell her something that would make her feel worse? "But I am not upset with you. I'm not going to ask for names but do I know who did this to you?"

Santana braced herself for Rachel to freak out but instead, the diva simply stiffened before letting out a terrified jerky nod which was accompanied by a strangled sob.

"Okay... That's all I want to know for now," she said as she took Rachel's hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. "Is this helping? The bath?"

"A bit. It stings a little but it doesn't... nevermind," Rachel broke off, her face now resembling a tomato as she realised what she was saying. Santana nodded and took a brush from beside the sink and began working it through Rachel's hair before she began speaking.

"I know it's uncomfortable but you need to tell me if it becomes unbearable so we can make sure there wasn't permanent damage done. Promise that you'll tell me if it gets to that point. I won't push you to get checked now but if you think there is something wrong, you need to tell me and I'll make sure they do whatever they can to make you comfortable."

The promise was now in the open for Rachel to take or leave; she meant every word, so when the diva gave a shaky nod, she was beyond relieved.

"I will."

Getting Rachel dressed this time was different because she was still weak and shaky but she was no longer dazed and unaware, at least not completely. Soon enough, she was tucked back into Santana's bed in a pair of fuzzy pyjamas. Santana grinned as she watched Rachel move her legs against the fabric as though she was thoroughly enjoying the feeling against her skin.

"Are you hungry?"

When Rachel shook her head, Santana frowned, it was just a little after lunch time and Rachel really should eat something but she didn't want to force anything into her, especially as she remembered how the diva had said she'd thrown up. She had to get something into Rachel's stomach because she needed nutrients, especially to help her fight her injuries.

"I'm going to make you a smoothie to drink," Santana said, thinking about adding protein powder to the mix so the diva could get the strength she needed and nutrients. As she went to leave though, she noticed Rachel trembling more and paling slightly most likely at the idea of being left alone in a foreign environment after such a traumatic ordeal. She remembered this part too.

"I'll bring you with me," she said, scooping the diva into her arms, noting once again just how light she was before she made her way down to the massive kitchen. As she prepared the smoothie, she watched as Rachel stared blankly at her hands. She sat with Rachel in the living room and watched as she drank the smoothie, looking for signs of nausea or any signs that the girl was about to vomit. Once the smoothie was gone, she put in a Disney movie for them to watch. Halfway through the movie, she noticed Rachel trembling again.

"Do you want a blanket?"

Rachel blinked in contemplation before letting out a very hesitant nod; she was still worried about being a burden. Going to the closet, she pulled a thick and colourful blanket out and went downstairs where she proceeded to drape the blanket around Rachel's shoulders.

"Will you... Can you please... I need... Hold me."

The last part was whispered so quietly that Santana almost missed it. Not quite but almost. She looked into Rachel's eyes and saw the need to be held was obvious and she felt her heart swell that she felt safe enough with her to make the request, regardless of how embarrassed she looked about the fact that it was even necessary.

She lifted part of the blanket and sat beside the shaking diva before pulling her into her arms. Rachel immediately nestled closer and the tremors seemed to drop drastically. By the time the movie was halfway through, Rachel was asleep with the head in Santana's lap while the latina ran the hands through her hair. The girl snored softly as Santana stared blankly at the DVD menu, deep in thought about everything that had happened. It wasn't until there was a knock on the door that she was brought out of her thoughts.

Rachel stirred but she simply nestled closer and continued to sleep.

"Come in," Santana whispered, knowing if it was Quinn that she'd know where the key was and would come in on her own. When she heard the lock click, she smiled sadly and when she saw Quinn standing in the doorway to the living room clutching a drugstore bag, she pointed to the table.

"She looks comfy," Quinn said, watching as Rachel gripped on to Santana's shirt and nestled even closer, her snores undisturbed but she tensed slightly upon hearing a voice; she was likely to wake up soon.

"It's the calmest she's been all day. You got the pills?"

"Yes. I got some strange looks at the pharmacy but they gave it to me. They told me there could be side effects; bleeding, vomiting, cramping and mood swings. They need to be taken within 72 hours but the sooner the better because according to the pharmacist, it doesn't take long for conception to occur. Did she say who it was?"

Shaking her head, Santana grabbed the remote and pressed play for the movie to start again when she felt Rachel moving again. She hoped the movie would lighten her fear but this did very little because when she woke up, she began lightly sobbing into her lap as Santana rubbed her back. Quinn stared awkwardly at the scene; she didn't handle these spells well the first time and it was clear she was still very uncomfortable around the emotional distress. But it was clear she still wanted to help.

"Quinn, can you get a glass of water?"

Quinn looked thankful for an excuse to bolt from the room as she dashed towards the kitchen. By the time she had returned, Rachel was sitting up but still nestled against Santana. The latina squirmed nervously as she picked up the bag and stared at the little blue box inside; she was going to have to bring up memories that were going to make the diva uncomfortable but it was necessary.

"Rachel, Quinn picked up some pills for you and I think you should take them," she said handing Rachel the bag and watched as realisation dawned in the diva's eyes which filled with tears. Clearly, pregnancy was not something that had entered her mind. Rachel nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks as she opened the box and popped both pills into her mouth before accepting the water that had been handed to her.

"Thank you, Quinn," Rachel said, as she buried her face into Santana's shoulder; the latina nodded towards the blonde as she snaked her arms around Rachel once more. Quinn didn't seem hurt about the fact that Rachel wouldn't meet her eyes; like Santana, she'd been through this before as well and she also knew what to expect and the things to avoid doing.

"Coach Sylvester?"

"On a warpath. She's going to check the camera footage this evening and see everyone who was in the school last night. I can assume by tomorrow that she'll know who did it," Quinn said, watching as Rachel nodded back into sleep and as Santana lowered the diva's head onto her lap. "I don't understand how you're so much better with this than me. I can't handle emotions but you; it comes naturally to you. Even the last time, you were so much stronger than I was."

"I wasn't stronger. It hurt like hell but I knew if I showed it, it would hurt her and I know the same thing applies here," Santana explained, watching Quinn with a firm look on her face.

When Quinn left just before supper, Rachel was awake and watching the movie from Santana's lap, gripping the latina's hand tightly as she stared at the TV screen, clearly taken by the innocent colourful and untriggering images of Frozen and Tangled. By the time Santana carried the little diva back to her room, she was softly snoring again. Once Rachel was tucked under the covers, she went into the bathroom and took a shower. Tears dripped down her face as she thought about how two people in her life had been affected by something so disgusting and so heinous. How could anyone do something like that to these girls; destroy them like this? It wasn't right. The sound of the shower covered up the sound of her sobs as she cried for the two people in her life who'd had something ripped away from them so horribly.

She washed her hair and quickly threw on some pyjamas before she went back into her room where she found Rachel Berry thrashing, crying and tossing in her sleep. Occasionally sounds would escape her throat but it was as if the girl was muted in fear. This was so much more painful to witness than when she had been screaming and thrashing. This was worse because there was more raw pain visible on her face and though Santana had witnessed this phenomenon before, it still felt like a knife twisting in her gut.

She rushed forward and gently shook Rachel awake and soon enough, she found herself hold an armful of sobbing Rachel in her arms. She carefully situated them in a way that allowed her to lay down while Rachel sobbed into her chest.

Nightmares. They were the worst thing she had been through last time and she was coming to realise this was going to be the case here as well. She was thankful her presence alone seemed to put the girl at ease but somewhat confused. After everything she'd put Rachel through over the years, Rachel found comfort in her arms?

"It's okay, you're safe; he isn't here," Santana murmured softly as she stroked Rachel's hair. "I've got you and we have a good security system on the house. No one is getting in without us knowing."

"I wish I could stop crying," Rachel sobbed, burying her face deeper into Santana's chest, finding comfort in feeling the latina's heartbeat against her face. Santana once again bit back the surprise she felt and continues running her hands through the girl's hair and continued to whisper softly into her ear.

"You can't help it and that's fine," Santana explained, having been through this particular event as well.

Suddenly, Rachel's hands shoved her away and before she could react, Rachel had bolted into the bathroom and it wasn't until the sound of retching met her ears that she finally stood up and ran after the diva. She grabbed Rachel's hair and frowned as she realised Rachel hadn't hit the toilet the first time but ignored it as she rubbed circles onto her back as she brought up the very little she had consumed that day.

"I'm sorry!"

The fact that she managed to get out those words in between violent bouts of vomiting was almost impressive but it still hurt to know Rachel was guilty over something so out of her control. Besides, the room was still foreign and new to her, she wasn't surprised the diva had trouble locating the toilet with the urgency of being sick. She would never be upset. Sure, she wasn't thrilled about it but she wasn't angry with Rachel.

"Shh, don't worry about it; I've dealt with worse," Santana said, rubbing the girls back until she finally stopped dry heaving. This was no doubt a side effect from the morning after pill or the trauma from today fully kicking in. She helped the diva to her feet and gave her a toothbrush so she could brush the taste away. When Rachel moved to clean up the floor, Santana refused to allow it.

"I need to clean up my mess."

"No, you are my guest; why don't you go lay down, I'll clean this and you... take this with you."

She handed Rachel a small bucket from under the sink and listened to make sure she actually heard the diva sink into the bed. She had just finished cleaning the mess when she heard the sound of gagging in the next room. She went in and found Rachel dry heaving into the bucket. She sighed and went downstairs to make some ginger tea for the girl and thankfully after a few sips, Rachel was content enough to drift off into a troubled sleep.

It was about four in the morning when she noticed that as Rachel slept, she inched closer and closer to Santana until she felt the girl wrap an arm around her. The girl was sleeping but obviously craving the contact, so Santana rolled over and drew the diva into her arms and she couldn't help but sigh contently as she responded by nestling her face back into her chest. For the first time that night, Rachel was still and sleeping soundly, her breath was warm but Santana found the contact brought her to ease as well. Whenever Santana moved away, the diva would toss and turn but the second she put her arms back around her, the girl would still and her breathing would even.

Who would have predicted that the girl who bullied her for so long would become her greatest source of comfort and security? At that moment, Santana would do anything to bring back the confident, annoying and loud diva because seeing Rachel like this was the most heartbreaking thing she had ever seen in her life.

"I'm going to help heal you, Rachel; I promise this."


This chapter is dedicated to my sister-in-law who helped me write this. This story is loosely based around her experiences with rape and a lot of the things I've written are things she went through personally.

Please remember, if you have been raped that the first place you should go it to the emergency room. Do not shower or bathe before arriving at the hospital because it washes away the evidence. And remember you are not alone.

Also, just because Rachel is reacting the way she is reacting it is important to remember not everyone reacts the same. Right now, Rachel is in the hardest part of dealing with the trauma. This first week is always the hardest because the brain doesn't know how to process the trauma and it instead pushes out excess emotion, fear and worry... to simplify it.

If you have any ideas for this story, go ahead and share them. I am also toying with the idea of pregnancy but I haven't made any concrete decisions yet and I am open to your opinions on where I should go with that.

Thank you for reading and I hope you're enjoying the story so far.

Laura and IamAwriterYAY thank you for your kind reviews.