He sat alone in his cabin while all the others slept peacefully in their beds.
His heart heavy with an unknown desire.
He loathed them.
So carefree and happy while he sat here miserable with no escape.
His father had long since retreated into the seas where he could not be bothered by his fellow gods and his son.
His mother would never understand.
All the ones that knew he was in pain continued to try to help him.
But nothing seemed to work.
Maybe it was just him.
Maybe after all this time of running from his problems.
They had finally caught up with him.
He loved his friends.
Some more than others.
But maybe he just wasn't meant to be with anyone.
Who would want him?
Who would love someone who fakes his entire emotional response to everything around him?
Who would want a broken man who doesn't want to be fixed?
That can't be fixed.
So here he sits yet again, all alone in his cabin, holding the blade he loves so dearly.
"Just once."
he says to none but himself.
"Just this once and I'll never do it again."
He lifted the blade and put it across his wrist.
"Wait." he thought.
"Not where people can see it."
So he lifted it to his bare chest and pressed that beautiful sharpened blade into his tanned skin.
He jerked the blade to his right.
Slicing the skin with deadly ease.
He winced only slightly as the blood trickled from the small cut on his chest.
The pain only lasted a second before being replaced by a magnificent feeling of relief.
All the pain was gone.
He felt as if everything in the world was gone except for the soothing feeling emanating from his chest.
But just as fast it came, it left the young demigod.
The pain came back tenfold as he gripped his chest and grabbed some water to heal the wound.
"I need to do that again."
he concluded once the water was finished repairing his skin.
"I need that feeling back, I need it."
All thoughts of self-preservation was gone from his mind as he grabbed the blade once more before yet again cutting his chest.
He loved it.
The pain was gone replaced by a harmonic feeling.
The young man was now stuck.
He loved it too much to stop.
And soon it would be too late.
