I uh. didn't expect to get chapter two out so fast. I'm a little astounded at myself.
so uhhhh hey yeah we're back, after less than two days, with chapter 2! holy fuck. and it's another LONG ONE, jesus wept. I don't know how some of y'all do this.
my whole thought process while writing this was 'how do I use the secret ending while like...not REALLY doing anything with the secret ending'. it's just so confusing, as secret endings usually are, but I did my best with it.
thank you very much for the review so far! unknown variable, you're a gem, thanks for sticking around after I deleted my shit with no warning lmao. and to the guest that left me such a stellar comment: you know...I mean, you can just go home if you're not having fun.
the crazy thing about fanfiction is that if you don't find something that fits your tastes, you can always go somewhere else and find the fic that does! what a concept, I know! next time, instead of being rude, just hush and go find the thing with the ships that make you happy. it's easier that way. 'cause ship-wise, I'm not changing shit.
anyway!
once again: unbeta'd, all edits done by me to the best of my ability. oh my god do I try.
ok go have fun with that.
Everything around Kairi felt slightly off.
She couldn't put her finger on what was so different about the world, now, but it was – like everything shifted slightly to the left, and she was left stumbling now and then. Kairi wondered if anyone else felt like this, like something was missing, even though the islands moved through the days as normal as ever.
And something was missing, she knew it. Kairi wanted to talk to Riku, wanted to ask him about this, even though anger still made her stomach hot, chest aching with the sharp sting of being left behind, once again.
But why had she been left behind? She tapped at her gummiphone with a frown, scrolling until she found the last message from Riku that she read.
'I'm sorry, Kairi. I'll try and find him.'
"Find who?" Kairi asked aloud, frustration coloring her tone. No matter how hard she tried to jog her memory, how hard she combed through her brain, she couldn't figure out who on earth Riku thought was so important that he left her here to find them himself.
She felt it, though, somehow -she felt that they had to be someone so, so important.
It was driving her nuts.
Kairi did try and reach out to Riku, a week after waking up from that dream feeling like something had been forgotten. Even though she was still so hurt, she sent multiple messages trying to check in, all of them unread. Whenever she tried to call him, all she got during the rare occurrences the gummiphone was able to connect was static.
It made her worry, the longer she didn't hear from him. But what could she do? She barely knew where to begin in trying to search for him, and her helplessness grew as the days passed.
"Naminè," Kairi finally said one night as they got ready for bed, "do you…do you feel like you've just forgotten something?"
"I…" Naminè frowned thoughtfully, slowly pulling her brush through her hair, "I'm…. not sure. Why do you ask?"
"Because, I –" Kairi hesitated, fiddling with a loose thread on her blankets. "Ever since I had that dream, I feel like I've forgotten something -someone important."
"But -but who could -Kairi, there's no one to forget." That apparently didn't sound right to Naminè, because her frown deepened as she paused in her brushing, "at least…. I don't think there is. I'm not sure. Maybe…Kairi, have you talked to Riku about it?"
"I've tried." Kairi flopped back onto her bed, frustrated, "but every time I've sent him a text, he's never read it. Whenever I try to call him, if the gummiphone actually connects to him, all I get is static. It's like…it's like I can't reach him. Like he's gone somewhere so beyond us that not even I can get to him."
Saying it out loud made the worry real, the helplessness over the fact that something might be happening to Riku, and there's nothing she could do about it. Groaning, she rolled onto her side and shoved her face in the pillow by Naminè's hip, worry twisting her gut into knots.
"Kairi, I'm sure Riku is okay, wherever he is." Naminè set down her brush and began to braid her hair, looking down at the top of Kairi's head. "Riku's been on missions on his own plenty of times; I'm sure he knows what he's doing. And he's a Keyblade Master- no matter what happens, he'll be able to handle it."
"I should be there," she muttered into the pillow, slightly petulant, "he shouldn't have to do this alone. We were going to find him together."
"Who?"
"I -what?" Kairi felt a slight chill run down her back as she lifted her head away from her pillow to stare at Naminè's confused expression. "What did I say?"
"You said you were going to find him, with Riku. Who are you talking about?"
"I –" Kairi's head spun at the question, at Naminè's confusion, at the realization that maybe she isn't the only one forgetting something, after all. "I…I don't know. I can't remember."
"…Maybe we should sleep. I'm sure you'll remember it in the morning."
"Yeah…maybe."
When she finally drifted off to sleep, Kairi dreamed that she was submerged in the middle of the ocean, bright, crystalline blue on all sides. Someone was holding her hand, pulling her through the water, and when she looked down, she saw a hand -brown, broad hands and long fingers, curled loosely around her wrist.
Kairi wrapped her hand around their wrist, feeling their pulse flutter against her fingers, and looked up to see who the hand belonged to. They felt so close, but no matter how hard she looked, squinting through the water, she couldn't see anything, the bright sunlight and bubbles obscuring her vision.
In the morning, Kairi blinked against the sun's rays streaming into her room, and the blank spot in her memory remained.
-o-
A month after Riku left, and two weeks after waking up with a hole in her memory, Kairi went to visit Aouli and Jun.
They're always so kind to her, making time for her and Riku ever since they were kids. Aouli always had snacks for them, sandwiches and tea and homemade fruit punch, always made from scratch. Jun was the one that taught her how to use shells to sew wayfinders together when she was young and new to everyone, told her old wives' tales about the island and the myths and traditions the town kept alive.
They treated her and Riku like they were part of the family, which made sense since -since the islands were so close-knit, anyway.
That thought didn't sit right with Kairi, fit around her like a jacket two sizes too small. Frowning, she shook the unsettled feeling off as the knocked on the front door.
"Coming!" she heard Jun call out and smiled when the door opened and Jun waddled into the frame, one hand cradled under her large belly.
Slowly crawling through the ninth month, Jun looked like she was ready to pop, smiling at Kairi as she moved aside to let her into the house. "Kairi! It's so good to see you, how have you been? We haven't seen much of you these past few days. Aouli, Kairi's here!"
"I know, I'm sorry." Kairi kicked her shoes off and followed Jun into the living room, giving her a helping hand and lowering her to the couch before taking her own seat. From the kitchen, she could hear Aouli puttering around, the soft clink of glasses as he put something together. "How have things been? How's the baby?"
"She's kicking the hell out of me," Jun sighed, rubbing her stomach, "She could come any day now and I feel like I'm about to burst. I'm too old for this."
Kairi laughed, "you're not that old! Don't be so hard on yourself."
"I feel old, carrying this baby around. I don't know what Aouli and I were thinking, deciding to have kids this late."
"Have – huh?" Kairi frowned at that, that feeling washing over her again, everything slightly off-center as she felt that wave of forgetting, like what Jun said wasn't quite right. "This is your first baby?"
Jun looked at her, raising a confused eyebrow, "Yes? Kairi, of course this is our first baby; I think I'd remember having another kid running around the house. Aside from you and Riku, of course."
"Speaking of Riku, where has he been?" Aouli stepped into the living room, carrying a tray laden with cookies and three glasses of milk. He placed the tray on the table before taking his own seat with a pleased sigh. "We haven't seen him around the islands, lately. Minato and Nanami have started to worry."
"Ah. He…" Kairi reached for a cookie, nibbling at it, "I know he had to leave for something. I can't remember what, though. But I'm sure he'll be home soon."
"Oh, he didn't tell you why? That's a shame- it would've been good to have some extra muscle around to help with the nursery."
"Nursery?" Kairi perked up at that, "You got the nursery set up? Can I see it?"
"Yeah, yeah of course! It was just an old storage room, but the walls were already painted so I spruced it up a bit." Aouli pushed himself up off the couch, gesturing up the stairs with a smile, "I can show you real quick, come on."
His eyes crinkled when he smiled, and it felt so familiar suddenly that Kairi felt dizzy. 'His eyes crinkled when he smiled, too' she thought absently, but the errant observation faded away before Kairi could really focus on it.
As Aouli led her up the stairs and down the hall, Kairi paused for a second to stare at one of the doors halfway down the hall. It caught her eye for some reason, something about the door making her pause. It was shut tight, old glow in the dark stars stuck to it, a nail sticking out of the wood the only sign of something previously hanging there.
A wild impulse gripped her, and for a moment, Kairi wanted to open the door, wanted to go inside and see what was in that room.
But the compulsion passed, and Kairi stepped away from the door, shaking her head and continuing to follow Aouli to the nursery.
-o-
"Roxas."
"Hm?"
"Something's bothering me."
"Okay?" He turned to look at her, giving her his full attention, chewing on his finished ice cream stick as he waited.
A couple of weeks after her visit with Aouli and Jun, Kairi went back to Twilight Town for one of her usual weekend sparring sessions with Roxas and Xion, Lea stopping by later to get some of his own practice in, still just as new to the Keyblade as Kairi was. She figured they'd be tired of sparring together, after all the time they spent together in that world Merlin created, training for the war.
But sparring with Lea again was as fun as it's always been, and Kairi left the sessions feeling more invigorated than she felt in weeks.
"What is it, Kairi?" Xion leaned around Roxas to turn towards her as well, still working on finishing her own stick of ice cream.
"Well…" She fidgeted for a second, taking a bite out of her ice cream, "I just…feel like I've forgotten something. Something big. A…a someone, I think."
"Oh," Xion said as Roxas stiffened, eyes widening as his ice cream stick slipped out of his slack mouth and tumbled into his lap, "you too, huh?"
"Me too -?"
"You've forgotten something too?! Kairi!" Roxas burst out, "I thought I was the only one! I thought I've been going nuts for weeks!"
"It's true." Xion nodded, "A couple weeks ago he just burst into my room, completely freaking out. Lea and Isa had no idea what was up with him."
"I thought-!" Roxas flushed a little, cheeks puffing out in his frustration, "I thought that – that something happened to you again! That they made me forget you! I just -" He sagged a little, and his eyes drifted down to his lap, "it felt like that again" he whispered. "It feels like I forgot something important. And no matter how hard I try, I can't remember. It's just, like…. a feeling. Sort of."
"It's okay, Roxas." Xion picked up his hand, lacing their fingers together, "I'm still here. I'm not going anywhere ever again. And I get it…. that feeling. I kinda feel it, too. And Kairi does, too, I'm guessing."
"Ye -Yeah!" Kairi nodded, paying no mind to her melting ice cream, "I'd been feeling that for weeks! And I keep – I keep having dreams of a person, but no matter how hard I try I just –"
"- can't see them." Roxas finished, nodding. "I have, too, sometimes. Have you tried to talk to Riku about it?"
"I can't," Kairi said, despairing, "I've tried contacting him for weeks, but I can't get through. I'm so worried that something's happened to him, but I can't get through."
"Well…" He frowned, thinking, "what about Master Yen Sid? Or Master Aqua? Would they know something about this?"
"I…"
"It won't hurt, trying for some answers, at least." Xion advised, "we asked Lea and Isa about it, but they don't know anything about what's happening to us. But they're Masters, and Aqua has all those books and things at the Land of Departure, so maybe you can find something there?"
"I guess…." Kairi sighed, "I can try. It wouldn't hurt, seeing if they have any answers. I'll try to visit them as soon as I can. Maybe this weekend, I -yeah. I'll go see Aqua this weekend. I'm sure she'll have something. Roxas, you should come along; you might be able to get some answers for this, too."
Roxas made a face, "I'm not sure…. Ventus will probably be there and seeing him is still really weird."
"Roxas, I swear, the two of you don't look exactly the same." Xion laughed, exasperated; Kairi felt that they've probably had this debate before. Multiple times, even.
"Xion he looks just like me. We have the exact same face! If we didn't dress different people would get confused!"
"Ven doesn't look like you at all! He's paler than you, and his eyes are blue; yours are such a pretty brown."
"You'd be pretty pale too, if you were stuck in a castle in a coma forever."
"Roxas," Xion elbowed him in the side, "come on. Plus, your hair is darker than his, kinda. And so are your eyebrows."
"Plus, Ven smiles like an angel all the time, which is definitely the big difference between the two of you." Kairi added, smiling mischievously, "when you aren't neutral you mostly look like a pissed cat."
"I do too smile, what the hell, Kairi!"
Xion shouted a laugh while Roxas glowered at her, making the exact pissed cat expression she was talking about as Xion leaned into him, snickering.
"Seriously though, Roxas," Kairi nudged him, getting back on track, "you really should come along. Aqua knows lots of magic, she might be able to help us out."
"…I'll think about it," Roxas finally said, which was Roxas-speak for 'yes, I'll go', and Kairi beamed at him.
Later, when it was nearing evening, Roxas brought Kairi home, guiding her through a dark portal after she received a tight goodbye hug from Xion. "Don't give up, Kairi." Xion whispered to her, "it'll all be okay, you'll see."
Kairi didn't say anything, but she stepped out of Xion's embrace with a smile, squeezing her hands once more in farewell before Roxas led her through the portal to home.
-o-
Kairi never gets tired of the view of the Land of Departure, of the bright green hills and tall mountains, the quiet hum of flowing waters floating on the breeze. She took a moment to take everything in, shrugging off her borrowed Organization coat as the warm wind brushed her face.
"Wow," Roxas closed the dark portal as he folded his own coat over his arm as he looked around, taking in the blue skies and green hills, the large golden chains that held the castle up, bound to tall mountain spires. "You weren't kidding when you were telling me how impressive this place looks."
"I know! I always take a little time to just…look, before I head to the castle. We should go, though; I sent a message to let Aqua know we were coming, so she's probably waiting for us."
Kairi led the way, taking them down the mountain summit that led to the forecourt of the castle, where Aqua was probably waiting for them.
"So, you've been training with Aqua for how long again?"
"A little over nine months, now," Kairi answered, absently running her fingers over a blooming wild rosebush, stroking the soft petals. "I started a few weeks after –"
Her thoughts skipped like a record, and she frowned, trying to remember what she was about to say.
"After…. after…. the war. I just…couldn't bear the thought of that happening again. I needed to get stronger, to catch up to everyone so I can protect them like I want to."
"Kairi…" She didn't have to turn around to see the sympathetic look on Roxas' face, "you shouldn't be so hard on yourself."
Smiling, Kairi shook her head, continuing down the path, "it's fine. Even with all that time training with Merlin, I…I wasn't really ready for a fight like that." Her eyes closed, but only for a second, as a wave of guilt rose up in her gut, "I wasn't completely ready, but I wanted to fight in the war anyway, because I didn't want to sit by and do nothing while everyone I cared about got hurt."
The forecourt of the castle slowly came into view, and Kairi sighed, "what's happened, happened. I paid a price, and all I can do is get better so it never happens again."
A spot of blue by the stairs caught her eye, and Kairi perked up when she saw Aqua sitting there, waiting for their arrival. "Oh, I see Aqua! We're really close now, come on!"
Aqua pushed herself to her feet once the two of them came into view, and she smiled at them as they approached. "Kairi, it's good to see you again! And you finally brought Roxas with you."
"I told you I would!" Kairi turned back to look at Roxas, who was slightly hiding behind her, skittish, "Aqua's really good at magic, like I said, but she's more elemental focused."
"Your use of light magic is very impressive," Aqua broke in, smiling at Roxas. "It's not my specialty, but it would still be an honor to teach you what I can."
"…Okay. Thanks." Roxas smiled at Aqua, a tiny thing, and Kairi gave a tiny mental fist-pump in victory as she turned back to face Aqua. "Are Ven and Terra here, this time?"
"Terra's here -I think he was in the library, last I checked -and Ven is still off world."
Aqua's smile was a little sad when she said that, leading them inside the castle "I miss seeing him around, but I understand him. A lot has changed, in our absence. Worlds are different, and some are just completely missing."
"Missing?" Roxas looked confused at that, "There are so many worlds out there, hundreds –"
"And there used to be hundreds more," Aqua finished. "So many worlds have fallen to the darkness. I don't know if all of them were salvaged, when –"
She suddenly stuttered, stopping in the middle of the hall as she frowned, lips pressing into a thin line.
"…Aqua?" Kairi finally spoke, concerned, "are you okay?"
"I…" She shook her head, "sorry. I forgot what I was going to say."
Ice raced down Kairi's spine, and from that alone she knew, instinctively, that they would find no answers here. "Oh," Kairi said weakly, "that's…that's fine." She looked back at Roxas, lost on what to do, how to move forward, and he caught her eye before giving her a small nod, letting her know that he came to the same conclusion that she did.
"Aqua, you said that Terra was in the library?" Roxas looked away from her to focus on Aqua, who was still standing a few paces away, looking confused. "Let's go there so we can say hi; that's where we intended to end up, anyways."
"Oh - yes!" Her confusion quickly slid away at the mention of Terra, and Aqua brightened back up, resuming leading them down the hall, "the library isn't too far -we can get started on your search there. Hopefully we can find something."
Aqua led them to two large oak doors, and pushed them open to reveal the large, spacious library, filled wall to wall with books and saturated in golden sunlight. Sitting by one of the window seats, reading, was Terra, who put his book down and stood up to greet them when they stepped in, brown eyes warm with happiness as he smiled.
"Hello," he said, voice deep and soft as he walked forward to meet them, "it's nice to, ah, finally meet you in person, I suppose. It was…rather hectic, the last time we saw each other. Aqua has told me a lot about you though, Kairi -I've heard you're going to be quite the magic user, once you become a Master."
Aqua laughed at the furious blush that spread to Kairi's ears as she sputtered in embarrassment, "it's true, Kairi, don't be embarrassed; you've been doing very well."
"Ah, and you must be Roxas."
He stiffened as all attention was pulled to him, coming back from folding his and Kairi's coats over one of the chairs of the long table in the middle of the library. "Uh…yeah, that's me. Hi."
"Hello." Terra smiled again, slightly amused at Roxas' skittishness around the two of them, "I've been told you're here to do some research, so don't let me keep you. If you have any questions, I'm happy to try and help. I may not be Aqua levels of good, but my knowledge of magic is still pretty decent."
"Terra, shush, you're just as good as I am."
"Completely false, but thanks for thinking so."
Roxas laughed quietly at their light banter as he turned to Kairi, eyebrows raised expectantly. "Well…let's get started."
"Yeah." Kairi smiled, trying to shrug off the discouraged feeling weighing down her heart, "let's get to it.
They spent the day poring over books, taking notes and debating on magical theories, Aqua and Terra making sure they took the occasional break. They were in the library for hours.
By the time they left it was dark, the sky full of more stars than they've ever seen, and they returned home empty-handed.
-o-
After the visit with Aqua, Kairi had a hard time getting out of bed the next day.
She was just so tired, the fruitless searching and lack of answers starting to get to her. She hated this, hated not knowing what was happening to her, this feeling of forgetting something painfully familiar. Roxas had started to suggest going to see Yen Sid, or to write King Mickey in a last-ditch effort to get some answers, but Kairi really couldn't handle more disappointment now, and she declined.
Three weeks, since she's forgotten -since apparently everyone's forgotten. Almost two months since Riku left.
She missed him terribly; not being able to talk to him, to check and see if he was doing alright, hurt more than anything. Kairi wanted to see him, wanted to hold him, kiss him, and yell at him in equal measure, hurt and anger and longing all tangled up in knots in her chest.
Kairi sighed heavily and rolled over, her back to the door as she looked up at the sky through her window, holding a pillow to her chest.
Eventually, she dozed off, and when she woke up, it was to a broad hand rubbing in between her shoulder blades. "Kairi," a quiet voice said, "are you awake?"
"Mmm." She rolled over, rubbing her eyes, and looked up into the soft grey eyes of her father.
Keone smiled when she looked up at him, "there she is," he murmured, brushing her bangs away from her face. "Is today a sad day, Kairi?"
A lump rose in her throat, choking her, and she nodded wordlessly, tears pooling in the corners of her eyes and sliding down her temples.
Her father always called them sad days -ever since she was a little girl, amnesiac and new to Destiny Islands. They were the harder days, days where Kairi would wake up screaming, crying about nightmares she couldn't remember, begging her father to keep her safe.
Begging him to keep out the dark.
"Oh, Kairi, no, don't cry." He tried to brush her tears away, helpless, "do you want to talk about it?"
"Mm-mm" She declined, voice thick with tears, shaking her head. "I d-don't know if I can really describe it, I just –"
More tears poured out, and Kairi pressed the heels of her hands over her eyes, "I'm just tired," she wept, "I miss Riku, and I have no idea where he is and I can't talk to him or call him or anything, and I miss –"
Confusion rose up, the blank spot in her memory a yawning, gaping thing, and the distress that brought her just made Kairi cry even more. "I'm missing something! I'm forgetting something and I don't know what and no matter how hard I try I can't find it! And I'm just –"
She pulled her hands away to look at her father, eyes rimmed red, cheeks flushed and splotchy. "I'm tired. Dad, I'm tired, I don't know what to do."
Kairi felt like she was four years old again, crying about the destruction and the dark, as she pushed herself up and threw herself into her father's arms, burying her face into his shoulder as she cried her heart out, big gasping sobs that echoed out into the empty room.
Her father said nothing, and held her as tight as he could, running his fingers through her hair and holding her together as she wept. When her tears finally dried up, Kairi pressed her damp cheek against her father's equally damp shoulder, sniffling softly, her violent crying session leaving her feeling like a wrung-out washcloth.
Once she completely calmed, her father sighed, a quiet, shaky exhale, and rubbed a large hand down her back, soothing circles across her shoulders.
"My Kairi," he finally said, voice sad, "ever since I took you in, I knew that you were the most extraordinary child. A father always knows these things, you know. I always knew that you were something special, and that because of that, you would experience pains that I would never understand."
Kairi stayed quiet as he spoke, still sniffling quietly, but she curled her fingers into his shirt to let him know she was listening.
"You have been through terrible things, things that I will never be able to comprehend -all I've wanted, since you were a child, was to protect you, to keep you safe from the monsters and the dark you screamed about. Even now, I still want to protect you. Keeping the dark out of here was easy –"
He gestured around the room, to Kairi's well-loved nightlight that was plugged into the corner of the room, no longer used - she had no reason to fear the dark, anymore.
"- But, it's a little harder to keep back the dark that goes on here." He pulls back to tap Kairi on the temple and smiled sadly. "I can't do much there, no matter how much I want to. All I can do is be here for you, just like this, and give you a shoulder to cry and snot all over when you need it."
Kairi laughed wetly, wiping at her face, and her father smiled like it was the greatest accomplishment he's ever done. "You will always be my extraordinary girl. I know that whatever it is you are missing, it will be found; things will turn to rights for you -they always do. And if not, I'm sure you'll make it happen through your own power."
"Thanks, dad." Kairi said quietly, voice still a little wobbly, and she leaned in to give him one last hug.
"Now," Keone pulled back, smiling, "how do you feel about breakfast for dinner? I don't think Naminè has taken part in one of our grand pancake dinners yet."
"Yeah…" Kairi smiled, and it was still a little small, but genuine, "pancakes sound good. Naminè will love it."
When they went downstairs, Naminè was sitting in the living room, curled up in the corner of the couch, absently sketching. She hopped up when Kairi appeared and swept forward to give her a tight hug while their father moved into the kitchen, giving them a little privacy.
"I told dad that you weren't feeling well," Naminè whispered, "I didn't know what else to do. Was that okay?"
"Yeah." Kairi gave her a squeeze, "that was okay. Thank you, Naminè."
Naminè smiled, and their father called out from the kitchen, "all right, girls! Wash your hands and then come in to help – it's pancakes for dinner tonight!"
Kairi grinned when Naminè mouthed 'pancakes?' at her, confused, and began to tug her to the kitchen. "Just trust us, it'll be great."
She felt a little lighter, after crying it out to her dad, pouring out all the confusion and hurt that she'd been bottling up for the last few weeks being the big reset button she needed. Now she feels sharp again, back on level ground with a clearer head now that she was able to get all her frustrations out.
Kairi is grateful for Naminè, that she cared enough to reach out for help when Kairi needed it most. She's grateful that she doesn't have to deal with this hurt alone.
She is lucky, she thinks, as she watches her father instruct Naminè on how to get the perfect pancake batter, that she is so loved.
-o-
A little ways away from the main hub of the islands, there is a small corner of secluded beaches.
It's a shady area, wrapped up by palm trees, and when the tide goes down, little pools are exposed, full of colorful ocean wildlife. This area of the beach has a tradition of being the birthing area for the people of Destiny Islands.
Every child from the islands was born on these beaches; even Kairi ended up there, washing up onto the shore after fleeing from the destruction of Radiant Garden. Looking at it now, her arrival on those beaches feels somewhat poetic.
The people of Destiny Islands always gave birth in the ocean -and now, after going into labor in the early hours of the morning, it was Jun's turn.
It was a little after dawn when their father burst into the room, waking Kairi and Naminè up with a start. "Jun's water broke," he said in a rush, "Kairi, she's asking for you."
Kairi vaulted over Naminè out of the bed and quickly put her sandals on -she had no time to change, so the shorts and t-shirt she wore to bed would have to be enough.
She sprinted to the beach, and when she got there, Jun was pacing across the shore, hands pressed against her lower back as she took long, slow breaths. Aouli was a few feet away with the local midwife, tense, keeping an eye on her, and various family members were waiting nearby -Aouli's mother, Jun's father, and a small handful of brothers and sisters from both sides of the family.
"Jun!" Kairi called out as she neared the beach, "I'm here!" Stopping a couple feet away, Kairi bent at the waist, panting, before straightening up and pushing her sweaty hair out of her face. "I made it!" She gasped, "Are you doing okay? How are you feeling?"
"Kairi," Jun laughed a little, "oh, you didn't have to run! The midwife said I'm not fully dilated- it's probably hours yet."
"Hours? Really? I -ohhh" Kairi sighed, slumping onto the beach, "the way dad made it sound, I thought you were having the baby right now!"
"Oh, that Keone." Jun really laughed this time, "if you want, Kairi, you can head back; Aouli can call when it's a little closer."
"No way!" Kairi snapped her head up to give Jun the stink eye, expression fierce, "I'm gonna stay, the whole time! There's no way I'm gonna leave!"
They way Jun smiled at her let Kairi know that she had made the right decision, and she settled down and prepared for a long wait.
As the morning passed on, Jun's contractions slowly increased, and she stopped her pacing every time to breathe through it, eyes closed, jaw tense from the pain. Their families made sure that Jun got rest when she needed it, fed her fruit and ice chips to keep her hydrated as the sun rose higher in the sky, bringing more heat with it.
Kairi and Aouli took turns walking Jun down the beach, pausing with her when the stronger contractions hit, rubbing her back and reminding her to breathe.
"It's strange," Jun said quietly, during Kairi's turn to walk her down the shoreline.
"What's strange?" They had paused in their walking for a moment, standing in the surf and enjoying the water lapping at their ankles while they stared out at the horizon, the sunlight glittering like diamonds on the waves.
"I know I said that this baby was my first one, but I –" Jun bit her lip, not looking away from the water, "I feel like I've done this before. Isn't that weird?"
Kairi didn't know what to say, and before she could even open her mouth, Jun curled in on herself and rocked through another contraction, hissing through her teeth, "oh, oh, oh this is a bad one –"
Her voice cut off from the pain, and Kairi let Jun squeeze her hand as tight as she needed to, helpless in the face of so much pain.
Kairi didn't let go, not for one second, when Jun announced that she needed to push, wading into the water, stopping once the water reached her knees, Kairi on one side of her, Aouli on the other.
Watching the labor was agonizing, Jun groaning and crying as she was coaxed by the midwife, and Kairi would cast a Cure spell if she could, cast a hundred of them, if it meant that she could take away some of the pain.
It was worth it, though -when the baby finally dropped into the midwife's waiting hands, her tiny indignant cries echoing across the shore, it was worth it.
The midwife was all business, rinsing the infant off with a warmed bottle of water that she brought with her, wrapping her up in one arm and coxing Jun with the other to the shore, making sure that she was sitting in the wheelchair she brought before placing the baby in her arms.
"Oh wow," Jun croaked, running a finger over the baby's tiny forehead, brushing over the tacky clump of brown hair, "Aouli, look at her, wow."
"She looks great," he whispered, tears dripping off his chin, "you did great, Junie. You're so amazing, I love you."
"She's so small," Kairi said quietly, stunned, feeling like someone knocked her across the head with a Keyblade. She's never really seen a baby up close like this, before, so she feels a little shaky, taking in something so tiny.
Just then, the baby grunted, squirming a little before opening her eyes, staring at all of them in confusion with cloudy blue eyes.
"Little Nalani, hi," Aouli crooned, brushing a finger across a soft brown cheek, "are you looking at your mama? Do you see your Auntie Kairi? We're so happy you're here, beautiful girl."
Kairi felt a hand cover hers, squeezing gently, and looked at Jun with large eyes. "Thank you, Kairi, for being here with us." Jun said quietly as family began to close in, "I don't know why, but…."
Her brow wrinkled as she thought, eyes tracing her new baby's face, "…something felt missing." She finally said. "It still does, I think. But having you here," she smiled sadly, "it helped, some."
-o-
About a week after Nalani was born, Riku finally returned to the islands.
Kairi wasn't informed of this right away, because of course she wasn't, and had to find out on her own later in the day, when she was coming back from a grocery run with Jun and Naminè, the two of them carrying the bags as Jun led them to her home, Nalani wrapped against her chest in a sling.
Kairi didn't really notice it, at first, hitching the bags up her arms while she stared distractedly at the smoosh of Nalani's chubby cheek against Jun's collar as she slept.
Babies were so cute. Have they always been this cute? Kairi's never seen one up close, so she wasn't sure. Maybe Nalani had a special charm, different from other babies.
A prickle ran down her back, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up, and Kairi turned when they reached the top of the hill to look at the play island, wondering what was going on that was making her feel so weird.
Squinting against the glare of the sun, Kairi froze when she saw a tiny, lone figure, sitting on the curve of their tree at the play island, platinum hair lit up by the sun.
"Oh, you're such a good baby," she faintly heard Jun say over the pounding of her heart in her ears, "it's so surprising. There's barely a peep from you, you're definitely different from your -"
"Kairi?"
She turned and Naminè was looking back at her, concerned, "are you alright? You just stopped, suddenly."
"I think…" Kairi licked her numb lips, "I think I can see Riku. At the play island."
Naminè froze, and her eyes darted over to the play island before going back to her, "…is that good?"
"I don't know yet." Kairi was feeling a whole lot right then, had no idea where to start, and took a long, slow breath, continuing to make her way up the hill.
"Kairi, what-?"
"I'll deal with it later." She said quietly, "I've waited two months, already; what's a couple more hours, huh? Come on, let's finish helping Jun with the groceries."
Naminè hesitated for a second, looking back at the play island, but when Kairi kept walking, she quickly turned back to follow, finishing up their trek to Jun and Aouli's home. As she helped put away the food, Kairi tried to plan, and figured out what she was going to say.
She was still hurt and angry at being left behind, outrageously so, and she had to let Riku know that leaving her behind like that was unacceptable. She felt disrespected, like maybe part of Riku believed that she would never catch up, that bringing her with him to search the worlds was a burden, as she was still more of a liability.
Kairi quickly said her goodbyes and left for the beach, her face twisting more into a scowl as the rowboats and the play island came into view. She hopped into one of the boats and quickly began to paddle her way over, cursing for a moment over the fact that she didn't know any more elemental spells – she was so jittery a good burst of an Aero spell could probably send her flying all the way to the island.
Taking a boat was probably for the best – it gave her more time to think. More time to prepare.
As soon as the boat hit the land, Kairi was moving, swinging herself out of the boat and running to their tree. And there he was, sitting near his usual spot, looking down at his hands – Riku.
Kairi's heart skipped a little as she took him in, emotions she tried to contain beginning to bubble up in her chest.
He looked so tired, dark circles under his eyes as he blankly stared at his hands, opening and closing them over and over. He was wearing the outfit that the good fairies gave him before the war, and they looked rumpled, disheveled, like he hadn't slept in some time. His hair had grown a little longer in his absence, too, almost touching his shoulders.
"Riku!" She yelled out as she ran to him, heart lodged firmly in her throat, and his shoulders stiffened slightly before he slowly turned to look at her.
He looked like a man about to face the gallows, and the feelings Kairi had bubbling up in her rapidly boiled up and spilled over.
She was sure Riku wasn't expecting a hug or kiss from her yet, was probably prepared for a punch, at least - but he definitely wasn't prepared for the fireball she threw at him. Even though he looked so tired, his reflexes were as sharp as ever, and he quickly dodged out of the way, hopping off the tree and onto the ground.
A small part of her hoped that she didn't just set their paopu tree on fire, but it was drowned out by two months' worth of held back hurt and anger.
"Kairi, I'm s-"
"How could you leave me behind?!" Kairi screamed, her voice loud as thunder, overpowering, "we promised each other that we would do this together! That we would go out and search the worlds as a team! Why would you promise me that if you were just going to leave me?!"
Angry tears filled her eyes, and Riku looked horrified, taking a step towards her with an outstretched hand. But Kairi wasn't ready for contact, wasn't ready for closeness, and jerked back with a hiss, and his hand fell back to his side.
"Kai-"
"No, Riku! It wasn't fair! I couldn't contact you for two months, I had to sit here like before and worry for days!" Her hands were starting to shake, and she crossed her arms tight, tight over her chest, trying to hold herself together. "If you still think I'm weak, just say so! If you wanted me to stay behind because I'm still a liability, you could've just told me instead of sneaking off!"
Riku looked like he'd been punched in the gut, stricken. "Kairi – Kairi, I'm sorry. I don't think that of you, I swear, I just -"
"I want to find him, too!" Kairi howled, hurt tearing her up inside, her throat aching from her screams, "I want Sora back just as much as you do, you can't -!"
Kairi suddenly stopped short, her breath leaving her in a quiet wheeze, dizziness rushing up on her in a wave. She stumbled back, pressing a hand to her head, and the confused, helpless noise she let out had Riku rushing to her side, placing a cautious hand on her waist.
She wanted to revel in the touch, wanted to push him away and scream some more, but she was overcome, the gap in her memory that had been haunting her for days rapidly closing, filling up with Sora, Sora, Sora.
Sora.
"Sora?" Kairi whimpered, clawing her fingers into Riku's jacket, and she could almost hear him in her head, from the last time this happened: 'you don't remember my name? Jeez, thanks a lot, Kairi!'
She was glad, now, that Riku was holding onto her, because her knees gave out from under her, and Riku quickly wrapped an arm around her waist and hitched her to his chest before she collapsed to the ground.
"Riku?" Kairi gasped, clutching at him, and she didn't know when she actually started crying but she was sobbing now, big, fat tears falling down her cheeks. "I forgot him? How did I forget him? I've been wondering what was missing for so long, and I –" Her breath hitched rapidly, and Riku rubbed her arm, trying to keep her from flying into a full panic.
"Did something happen? Riku? Did something happen to him, is he -?"
"I don't know." Riku admitted quietly, "because I'd forgotten him, too."
Kairi gaped at him at that confession, speechless; even during the year he was asleep, recovering from Castle Oblivion, Riku never forgot Sora. What changed now?
"…What happened?"
Whatever strength Riku had left must have been waning, because he sighed, hitching Kairi up to him a little more before making a quick double jump back to their tree, placing Kairi down on the trunk before taking a seat himself with a tired groan.
(The tree, Kairi noted vaguely, was thankfully unsinged).
"I had traveled very far," Riku began, "made it a good distance into uncharted territory when a storm hit." He ran a hand through his hair, expression grim, "it was so strong; it took out all of power in my ship. I thought I was going to be stuck there, stranded in uncharted space, when something knocked my ship off course."
He shrugged at that, cringing a little, "I can't…really remember what happened, after that. But the next thing I know, I'm waking up on the ground in some city. No idea where I was, how I got there, or why I was there in the first place. I knew – I knew I was looking for something. Something important. But I had no idea what."
Kairi listened to Riku's story in a daze, how he landed in an unfamiliar city of an unfamiliar world and the days he had to spend relying on a strange ally to try and find his ship and get home.
"He was strange," Riku mused, "but he was the only help I had, at the time. The whole time, I couldn't remember why I was even there; I missed home, and I missed you. All I knew was that I left to find something important."
Kairi stiffened a little, and Riku reached out to grab her hand, his eyes so remorseful. "I'm so sorry, Kairi." He squeezed her hand, "you're right, I did promise you that we'd find Sora as a team, and then I disrespected that promise by leaving you behind, anyway. I just –"
He sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping a little, and his eyes were a little glassy, "during the war," he croaked, "seeing that happen to you, what Xheanort did…I couldn't bear it happening again. I got scared, and it made me stupid. I'm sorry, Kairi; I should've trusted you."
"You should have." Kairi agreed with a whisper, "Riku, leaving me behind like that hurt me so much. And then, when I didn't hear from you for almost a month…I didn't know what to think. I was scared." Kairi laced their fingers together, forgiveness slowly beginning to cool down the boiling hurt in her heart, "I've spent so much time training, just so I can be able to really protect you."
She squeezed their laced hands, not looking away from Riku so she knew that he took what she said seriously. "I accept your apology, but don't ever disrespect me like that again. We're a lot stronger when we're together."
Blinking rapidly, Riku lifted their twined hands so he could press a kiss to the back of her hand, before pressing their joined hands against his heart, head bowed. He swayed towards her, shoulders sagging in relief, and Kairi scooted a little closer so he could press his forehead against the curve of her shoulder.
Kairi allowed him a moment of respite before gently jostling him, "you have to finish the story. C'mon."
"Ah – yeah. Right." He sat up, tucking some hair behind his ear, and Kairi didn't call attention to the red rimmed around his eyes.
"So – so I found the ship, eventually, but I still felt – I just felt like I needed to stay. So I did. And I still…. I don't know where I was. There were monsters, there – Heartless and Nightmares, which was confusing. So I helped clear them out, and eventually –"
He paused, hesitating, his eyes flickering up to Kairi before drifting back down to their joined hands. He looked nervous.
"Eventually, I…I found this new part of the city, way different than the part I was in. Almost like I was in a whole different world, it was so bright and lit up. I got to this intersection and I –" His breath hitched, "I saw him."
Kairi froze, and it felt like her lungs had seized up in her chest, leaving her gasping for breath.
"You…" her voice was thin, barely a whisper, "you saw him? Really?"
"Really. It all just –" he gestured vaguely around his ear with his free hand, "– came back, when I saw him. I ran to him. I held his hand, just like this." He lifted their joined hands for a second before placing them back on his lap, eyes shadowed.
"I got to hold him, and see him. Just for a second. And he looked just like he did before he left to find you. He looked fine. But then he just – started to collapse. And before I could catch him, he was just –"
"- gone." Kairi finished for him, her voice faint, "He was just gone."
Riku nodded, and he looked so lost, "I had him right there. Right under my hands." His voice cracked in the middle, and tears silently slipped down his face, "I was holding onto him, and then I wasn't, and now I don't know where he's gone, anymore."
He bowed his head, covering his face with his free hand, and his shoulders shook as he cried silently.
"I'm sorry, Kairi." He sobbed, "I said I wouldn't leave you, and I did. I thought I would find him, to make up for leaving you, but then I couldn't even hold onto him long enough to bring him home. I'm sorry."
-o-
Eventually, once Riku cried himself out, Kairi took him home.
His mothers nearly had a fit when they saw him standing at the doorstep, and Kairi ushered everyone in, closing the door before slipping upstairs to Riku's room, giving them their moment to fuss over Riku, to hug him, to cry.
She sat on the bed and sent a text to Naminè and her father while she waited, letting them know where she was, and then lying down after putting her phone away, curling up on her side.
She stared out the window, and Kairi didn't know when she fell asleep, but between one breath and the next, she was out, emotionally exhausted and weary from crying.
Kairi dreamed of warm breezes, of lying on the beach and listening to the rush of the waves, the cry of birds. She was lying on the sand, close to the water – she could feel the tide lapping at her bare heels, pushing and pulling away.
She was sandwiched between two people, fingers laced with hers; she knew these hands anywhere, would know them blind, and Kairi gently squeezed her boys' hands, feeling more at peace than she's been in a long time. She was grateful to have a sweet dream, for once; to be able to have some respite in sleep and be able to remember when the three of them were together. Kairi sighed, happiness teasing the corners of her mouth, curling into a slight smile, content to drift in this dream as she rested.
Her eyes snapped open when the person on her right squeezed back.
She was greeted to the sunset, the sky bleeding from pink into orange into gold, which confirmed that she was dreaming – it was barely late afternoon when she took Riku home, the sky still a bright, cloudless blue.
Her hand was squeezed again, and Kairi took a deep breath, steeling herself, prepared for the dream to end like it always did, to be pushed into waking any moment as she slowly turned her head.
The dream did not end. The waking did not come.
Sora smiled at her, blue eyes crinkling in the corners in the way that she loved so much, as he ran his thumb gently across her knuckles.
"Hey, Kairi."
ALRIGHT COOL.
writing this chapter was hard as hell. I was really struggling getting my stride for this whole period of forgetting but we got there eventually. uhhhh I'm preeetty sure any questions will probably definitely get answered in the next chapter.
also, another little fun change, if you noticed terra being the new initiate to the Brown Eyes Gang! and names! new names! kairi's dad's name (keone) means 'sand' or 'the homeland' and sora's new baby sister nalani means 'quiet skies'.
because we love a theme.
whew. I am...a little burnt out from writing over 17k words in less than two days. but I was not kidding when I said I'm getting this demon exorcised from my body 'cause a bitch was writing like she was POSSESSED.
comments are always, once again, super cool. really hoping people out here like this.
see y'all in chapter three!
