Chapter 1: A blonde derp!?
So if you're wondering who I am you're not getting much of an answer from me. All I have is my left eye that summons Death's power in one stare and amnesia, but the mind type not the game, and also this amnesia strangely scatters my memories to random universes. That's why I'm the Wanderer of universes, so that I can eventually find my memories, but enough about me let's get back to the story!
I dropped into the universe (while you may think this is a metaphor, you will be sorely mistaken) and landed through a hole in the ceiling of a cave full of hostile humans. The first thing I saw was a female human holding a revolver walking toward a blonde mare with greyish skin (or fur?).
Strangely I didn't think that the human was going to kill her just beat the mare, but then I heard the human furiously say, "you thought you could just waltz in here while we were here, didn't you? Now you get a reward for what you've done." She raised her revolver to head of the mare; I better move fast while the lady keeps scaring that mare, I thought to myself. I quickly snuck behind the woman and thanked the gods for making her a blabber mouth instead of a quick doer. I kicked the back of the woman's legs and grabbed her gun "don't frighten the mare, you might not get info out of her you idiot," I was acting violent to make myself look like any human in this universe while trying to get the woman to go somewhere else, but I was mistaken to think that she wouldn't know if I was a furious human.
"You're not like us, HELP I NEED ASSIS-" she never finished the sentence when I gave her a bullet to the head, I should've known this could happen, and I followed my instincts instead of logic, I cursed myself and turned to the opening to the room I was in. "You need to get to cover, mare! If you're out in the open they've got a bunch of bullets with your name on them" the mare than ran toward cover that was as high as herself and lay down. I stood next to her and kept an eye on the opening for about a minute, and started shooting every human with a gun that came through the door. Eventually I think they retreated because none more came. "Alright I think we can come out and talk in the open," I said with a relaxed breath, "first of all I think I should know your name, could you tell me it?"
"Every pony calls me Derpy Hooves, but my real name is Ditzy Doo," I jumped back to that statement, both those names are terrible! I thought to myself, and I than saw why every pony called her Derpy; she had one eye looking up and one down, I feel uncomfortable using either name, but I can't think of one off the bat for her to use instead.
"Why did you come to somewhere so dangerous?" I inquired.
"Because my friend the Doctor is gone, and I don't know where he is, so I am looking all over Equestria for him," she looked very sad and about to cry, "he said he was helping Princess Twilight with her invention, but I came over to Cantorlot and asked the royal guards about him, and said he left after the incident." I thought for a minute, if they wanted to hide the failure of their universe portal, they would want to keep anyone from telling the secret of the failure, so that would mean… "I think I know where your friend is," she quickly picked up on this, smiled, and said, "really!? You know where my Doctor is?" She hopping with so much joy that it could rival the shooting ability of those humans that assaulted us. "I think he's in Cantorlot, the guards lied to you hide the fact that he holds about Twilight's invention." Hopefully she can believe what I'm saying; I'd hardly believe what I'm saying.
"Hmm… I guess that could make sense," Derpy said, "alright let's go to Cantorlot, but…" I was probably expecting this, but I think I can do this if it's an easy request. "My daughter was captured by the humans, and I want to get her before they… they…" I knew what she was about to say and pressed the point further, "So you have an idea where she is? Because if you don't we can't find her." Derpy smiled and said "of course I know where she is, in fact the humans who caught her are near Ponyville where we used to live." At that point we were walking towards the human's armory full of weapons and ammunition (it was obvious from the name).
"Well that's great! That makes things easy, but for your daughter's sake," I picked up a saddle that had guns attached to it, a battle saddle is what she needs, because I won't be there to defend her every fight. "I hope you're ready to fight for yourself and your daughter when I'm not nearby." She stared at battle saddle for a while before saying "I understand, but I don't know how to use it." It took some time to figure it out, but eventually I figured out that the trigger is something the pony bites on to fire the dual rifles and to kick the saddle for reloading. I had Ditzy practice on the firing range the humans made for new recruits or practice while I looked in HQ part of the cave until she was comfortable with the saddle. After that we started on our way to the settlement of Broken Skulls clan (bludgeoning is their favorite activity).
To be continued…
