By: Maria Wedgbrow An Uraboku Fanfic with romance, action, supernatural and yaoi/shounen-ai
This War of Mine
Chapter 2: Memories of me
Yuki had been sitting on the end of the bed for a while now, trying to decide if he'd stay awake for one more day, prepare himself for all the memories that according to him may be a lot to handle. Luka was out, most likely having a shower in his own room while he thought Yuki was deep in sleep.
I wish I could ask Luka what he thinks, but I just can't. I don't want to cause him anymore pain, not that I know what old pain he could suffer from.
Yuki decided to get back in bed anyway he was cold and even if the memories were difficult to handle, he could use sleeping tablets like the Doctor had suggested. Yuki was looking and the open window when two blue petals landed on the ground, it made him think of Kanata. He had always been there for him, no there for each other and yet he was about to remember the side he had forgotten, Regia who was the giou's enemy.
I don't believe I could ever hate him but I am about to remember my first life and why I sided with Takashiro, instead of just leaving or helping no one why did decide to join the war?.
As Yuki asked his question, little did he realise he was about to remember in his dreams.
A ball bouncing along the ground, if he picks it up they will run away.
A tree burnt by holy fire, said never to bloom again and he stands and looks every night waiting for something new.
A purpose?, A friend perhaps? Or maybe just proof of light?
They throw rocks and call him monster, but he says or does nothing in turn.
Who is the monster and who is the man? At least he has finally started to see proof of a light.
Two friends, one women one man, necromancers and human, the only family he had ever had.
It's Regia and Takashiro I see them standing there in front of me, but how can that be? There smiling and talking about things I don't quite understand, but that is okay I'll leave them be, make fun of their secrets for men left alone to talk, what a dangerous idea indeed "Ha-ha".
No, this isn't right. Takashiro would have said if he knew me before the war started right? Or am I thinking too hard, this person whose eyes I see through, I am her, but who am I?
"Yomi, I know we are talking but we would love for you to join us, or is something wrong?" Takashiro asks simply with a loving smile on his face.
So I am Yomi? That's right. I was to Takashiro anyway. Not me but a different life lived and half a soul lost years ago. But you know don't you? You know who I am? Not only that my first life was Yomi but even more so than that?
Regia's cold blue eyes have warmth I have not seen even in Kanata. He holds out his hand and says "It's alright Yomiyuki as long as you hide your power you will be safe won't you?".
Yes, that should have been the case and yet I can't remember how did the elder Alga find out? Because of that, I had to stay as far away as possible but it didn't work. It all went terribly wrong, even Regia has forgotten the whole truth. What happened truly?, I have to know, I have to remember.
Fire spreads round me like I am made of wood.
No I can't die, No!
Yuki wakes up in a cold sweat.
Great now I have more questions and no answers? Why was I seeing things as Yomi and why did Regia call me Yomiyuki? Were my dreams muddled up? Lia said that could happen.
"Another bad dream Yuki?" I hear Luka ask me softly, "Oh, I'm sorry Luka. Did I wake you up?" yet before he could sit up all the way Luka placed his arms around him and pulled him towards his chest. Yuki was surprised but had noticed some strange already, his voice was different, it was her voice his past self voice.
I see... I'm still dreaming...
"You don't need to apologize, I just wish there was something I could do for you but all I can do is this" Yuki felt Luka pull him a little closer and run his fingers through his hair. "I'll always be here for you Yuki. I will not betray you" he said it like he had many times before and yet somehow it felt brand new.
It hurts, I wonder why? I'm so comfortable and I feel safe. So why does my chest hurt?
"Yuki, don't cry" Luka is looking at him directly, barely a few inches apart, Yuki can feel his heart missing a beat or two and yet the tears keep falling.
I can feel it that guilty feeling again. I'm feeling guilty because you won't leave me but I will have to leave you, my death will tear us apart or that is what I feared. You told me you would wait forever and you did. You said you would find me and you did, what you must have gone through while you waited for my return, I suppose I will never know.
Wiping the tears from my face, I see a smile on Luka's face "You're tears are beautiful Yuki, the feelings in them are worth more than a thousand words". Luka leaned in and kissed Yuki's tears away and then placed another kiss on his mouth.
A familiar feeling, Yes a feeling that makes all words difficult to speak; only three words come to mind for this feeling. I've felt it for Luka since he saved me and swore never to betray me, to never leave me alone, I just didn't know what these feelings were. To think I had felt them before, to have my final wish granted, that I would meet him again, that he would be protected by the Giou clan, I honestly thought Takashiro would not grant it but he did.
Luka looks into Yuki's eyes again, smiles and says "You stopped crying".
"Yes, ha-ha, you made me feel better" Yuki said in his past self's voice, though he now recognised it more as his voice. Yuki decides to say something he knows he has said before.
I'll say it, just in-case I'm unable to say it again.
"I love you Luka, always" Yuki hugs Luka back knowing that this dream is one of the few moments he had with Luka in peace, the rest of the memories may be painful but as long as he remembers this surely he will be fine.
It has been a few nights since Yuki started to remember his past and he was glad that they were coming back clear and quickly. However there were a few he was having trouble with, the first was one's to do with Regia, Takashiro and Yomi or perhaps himself? He didn't really understand why he was seeing things threw her eyes but he had yet to bring up the topic and the best person to ask was obviously not around when he needed him. Takashiro was personally helping the police with some recent deaths, most likely death by duras.
So without Takashiro there, Yuki was trying to figuring out how he could help himself act more comfortable around Luka, obviously not a topic Yuki wanted to bring up lightly.
I mean I have to at least have an idea of how to start the conversation but I also have to think of something quick, it won't take Luka long to notice me fidgeting like this."Yuki!" shouts Toko as loud as she can next to him; he had not heard a word she had said and even when she shook him lightly he hadn't responded which had made her worry. "Oh I'm sorry, what were you saying?" Yuki asked as happily as he could.
"Gezz, Yuki I get you're thinking about something important if your thinking that hard but don't you think you should talk to someone, Luka would love to help!" the very obvious flinch at Luka's name made Toko aware that Yuki wanted to speak to anyone else other than Luka right now.
"Look it's nothing, I just am trying to piece bits of my memory together that's all" knowing this might change the subject slightly he answered with a fake smile. "That fake smile isn't gonna work on me Yuki, tell me then I promise I won't say anything to Luka, What are you dreaming about that has you all well day dreamy?" sounding like a half threat, Yuki decides it might just be time to give in and who better too, than the girl who wants him to remember the most.
I don't know how am I supposed to tell her about those dreams? Ah I'll start with what I've remembered first.
"Well truth is I've remembered quite a lot over the past few nights and most of my memories have been clear" Yuki said frankly surprising Toko slightly. "What?! That's great Yuki-Chan I had no idea! How much have you remembered anything about the Zweilts?" Toko tried to ask as calmly as she could but her excitement got away from her, waking Tskumo up who lay on the sofa next to them. "Opps sorry Tskumo, totally my bad go back to sleep okay?" she said kindly, "yeah thanks Toko" Tskumo replied sleepily and was back to sleep in seconds.
"Sorry I got carried away ha-ha" she said looking back at Yuki. "Ha-ha its fine, at least Tskumo's nap survived" Yuki replied. "To answer your question, quite a bit and I remembered a lot about the Zweilts. My past life was defiantly different from this one, I mean you all said but remembering it really brings it to life ha-ha" Yuki smiles at Toko but her smile fades. "What's the matter Toko?" "Nothing, it's just did you remember anything about Luka and how you met?" she asks cautiously.
Of course, Toko and the others must remember me and Luka being a couple, that'd make sense I guess, I just didn't think of what they must be thinking. Toko is obviously worried for me and Luka. I guess I have to tell her now but it's so embarrassing. Those dreams, no memories where Luka and me-no-my past self are well... intimate... how do I even ask?
"I've remembered bits..." I say slowly, "Uhm but not anything concrete, like I don't know where we first met or anything, just feelings mostly" Yuki worded his reply carefully. "Oh" Toko sounds slightly if not more disappointed by his answer and takes a deep sigh. "Well you remember me and Tskumo?" Yuki replied quickly, "Yep, I understand why you too are so close now being cousins in your previous life, and your first one you were a couple?". Toko goes slightly read and his question, "I know yeah, it's embarrassing and at the same time feels completely normal, because if feels like yesterday ha-ha" Yuki smiles at her.
Toko-Chan has always been my best friend, I remember when she had a crush on a boy in the Giou clan but because he wasn't a high enough class they were told they couldn't marry or be together. Luka reminds her of him every day, the way he protects me I mean, The man she loved was always there in the same way.
"What about the other zweilts Yuki? Who do you remember the most about?" Toko asked while sipping her tea. "The most if not you probably, Sairi though there are memories from my last life I haven't remembered yet" Yuki answered. "Oh how interesting" the voice of Sairi replied to his answer. "Sairi-san, when did you get back?" Toko huffed as he walked into her room like it was his own. "Now-now, I came to get Lia and bring Takashiro, the case is easy to solve he isn't needed, me and Lia can solve it" he says answering all predicted questions.
His name may have changed for whatever reason; he may not look too much like his last-self either but that ego hasn't changed.
"The way you're looking at me Yuki, it's so full of emotion..."
Huh? What the heck?
Placed lying down on the sofa all of a sudden, Sairi was playing another game but this time on him.
"I can only assume you remember what happened between us... that cold winter night. That's alright though, I told you I'd look after you and I will" Sairi went on.
What is he going on about? Cold winter night?!
Yuki was about t push him off as he was getting closer and closer, almost in place for a kiss but suddenly he disappeared from view. Luka had arrived on the scene, obviously not impressed with Yuki's situation and had throw Sairi practically across the room. "Hey! If you're going to murder him do it in your own room! Not mine, Luka" Toko said loudly, "And don't let him take advantage like that! Yuki-Chan" she finished not as loudly.
"Luka thanks for the help but you didn't need to throw him..." Yuki said sympathetically towards the guy almost dead on the floor, who Tskumo was poking to see life. "And I'm sorry Toko I didn't think he was being so serious?" Yuki said questionably towards the room, "ah, no he was just playing about ha-ha, I'm sure. I mean you know what he is like, especially to the girls" Toko said quickly, while mopping up spilt tea on her table.
"True..." Yuki answered, "I'm gonna go walk with Luka but is he really okay?" "He is fine. don't worry Yuki, you and Luka always walk around the grounds at this time anyway" Tskumo answers, seeming unfazed by the situation.
Yuki quickly calming Luka down with the offer of a walk in the gardens is still pondering why Sairi was winding him up about his memories.
No more hesitating...I know with his help I can do this, I'll just tell him the whole truth.
See, I knew he would trust me...He understands, the fear of being alone. He thinks I should rely on Alga but I'm not so sure...there is something wrong with that person.
This place...it has become hell on earth and I promised to keep it safe?
Erase it all; turn back the clock... at least that way I can save you, No I will save you Regia! Even if you don't remember...it'll be alright...
Yuki wakes up in cold sweat once again, checking he is truly awake he looks to see Luka sleeping on the sofa. Yuki goes to the bathroom and washes his face, pondering his day.
Sairi and Luka acting weird and dreams about a life I couldn't have lived? I am Yomi, I feel it and yet it's not possible because I am dead, a destroyed soul by Regia himself. What did Regia forget? Did he even forget? I'm confused and there is only one person I can ask who might have the answers, but what will Takashiro say to the possibility of me being Yomi?
Find out next chapter, See you then :) xx
