Disclaimer. We don't own Twilight or any of its characters, they are all property of the creator of Twilight, Stephenie Meyers.

This story is a collaboration between me and the amazing gal, HeartOfDarkess. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 2

Esme's POV

I spent the next few days trying to focus on designing the nursery that would be built for Nessie and Jacob's little one. I tried to focus on natural colors, and a soothing feel that would help keep the baby calm. Rosalie helped me sort through colors, and Alice as always seemed to know where we could find what we needed.

Edward and Bella were more involved in this nursery then they had been with their own, but that was only natural as Bella's pregnancy had been unexpected, dangerous and extremely short. Nessie's pregnancy seemed to be the opposite of Bella's. She glowed, whereas Bella's body had struggled to support the life growing inside of her.

The two were as different as night and day, and I guess that's why I didn't expect the feelings that slowly started to steal over me day by day. I watched as Nessie's belly grew. Unlike Bella, her abdomen only grew minutely each day, and she was able to rest and nurture her baby as any mother should.

Bella had been so ill; her life in danger from hour to hour, so all I had been able to focus on was her. But Nessie reminded me of myself, they way her body changed to curve with the weight of her growing child. The glow of her skin. The way she absently traced her fingers over her still smooth stomach, secure in the knowledge that her child was growing.

I had done all of those things. I had rested, eaten carefully, and knitted clothes for my unborn child as I readied for its arrival. But everything I had done had proven in vain. My child had only lived for a few days before his life ebbed from his tiny form. I had held him helplessly in my arms, trying to comfort him as his weak cries became weaker and weaker until he had died in my arms.

Doctors like Carlisle didn't exist then. There weren't any ways to see unborn children, or medicines to help them become strong as there were now. I had lost everything. I was in a loveless marriage, and the only thing I had was that child…my son. I had expected to have someone to lavish my affections on, and here I had a small piece of my own soul to do just that…and then he had been stolen from me.

I tried to push away those feelings. The grief that was coming closer and closer to the surface as I watched the way Jacob ran his hands tenderly over Renesmee's swelling waistline. Everything was as it should be for her...and she deserved it…but it just wasn't fair.

Each day the feeling became worse. They started to overwhelm me…threatening to pull me down to that place they had been the day I had thrown myself from the cliff, hoping to end my life so I could join my baby in the afterlife. But now that release was beyond me, and I just needed time to work through my heartache…time away from watching the bliss of impending motherhood that loomed before my eyes when I would never have that joy for my own.

First I tried to be more impartial. I tried to imagine that Rosalie must feel as poorly as I did, and she too must feel that emptiness, but I found myself unable to equate my feelings to those of another.
I knew that Rosalie wanted a child as desperately as I but I had been there to have that dream only to have the misery of having it ripped from my very own, aching arms.

I tried to keep my misery from the others in my family, but found that as much as I tried, it only became that much more apparent. Carlisle came into his office where I was currently working, having claimed his large desk as a working space. There were other usable spaces in the house, but this one allowed me to work without watching Nessie as she was pampered by everyone in the house. She deserved their love, especially at this time, but I did not want to witness it, or the way her stomach was starting to protrude from between her hips.

"Darling?" he asked softly. I looked up into his expressive golden eyes and found them probing into mine. I turned back to my sketches, not wanting to give him the opportunity to see the troublesome thoughts lurking in my own eyes. "Yes, my love," I answered as I forced myself to keep to my task. All I was truly wanting was to run into his arms, to let them comfort the hurt that was rending me into pieces internally.

"Please...look at me, Esme…" he implored. I grasped my pencil firmly, before releasing it, trying to compose my features so as not to burden him. I glanced up through my eyelashes at him, noting that his handsome face seemed drawn.

"I was thinking…" he started solemnly, "that perhaps this would be a good time for all of us to get away," he finished. I sat back staring at him more openly now, my eyes narrowing in confusion. What did he mean? "Get away?" I prompted.

"Yes…away. Since Nessie and Jacob are going to go spend a few weeks with the pack in La Push, it would be a good opportunity for those who might want it, to take a much needed vacation," he continued as he searched my face. I felt hope flare inside my chest, and without even meaning to I allowed it to soften my features.

"Where were you thinking that we could go?" I asked softly as I rose from my seat.

"Perhaps we could go somewhere warm…somewhere named after the most beautiful woman who ever graced the earth…" he said, smiling at me wholeheartedly. Carlisle came around the desk slowly, opening his arms to take me into his embrace. I nestled into his chest, feeling loved and calmer than I had in ages.

"How did you know?" I whispered softly into his neck as his arms tightened around me, holding me close as if by doing so he could absorb some of my silent pain.

"Because I know you," he replied, gently kissing the top of my head.

"I notice how you have secluded yourself, how your eyes dull every time you hear Nessie talk of morning sickness. I know how hurt you were when I found you, and how long it took for you to be able to move on into this new life with me. I would give you what you wish for if only it were in my power to give it," he said, tucking his face down to rub against my cheek.

It was a gesture so familiar, so tender that I couldn't hold back the dry sob that burst forth from my chest. Carlisle held me as I sobbed against him, my shoulders shaking uncontrollably. I was so lucky to have him, to have someone who cared so deeply for me. I didn't deserve him. "I know…" I cried softly into his chest. "I know."

Sounds of distant hollers and bellows of laughter emanated from the forest, signaling that the family was on their way home from their latest hunt. They had been away for days now, and had decided to take Nessie and Jacob away for a camping trip to hunt for Edward's favorite. It was a way of them spending quality time together before Nessie went to La Push, as even though it was accepted that Jacob had imprinted with and married a half-breed vampire, the rest of the family were reluctant to push boundaries with the Quileute's and instead chose to stay away from the reservation. Carlisle and I had declined to attend, citing that I was busy with the planning of my grandchild's nursery and that he had to work at the hospital. To be honest, I was more than relieved that they all left, as I had been struggling to keep my morose thoughts from Edward.

"Ah, the family is home. Time to tell them of our plans, my darling," he whispered in my ear as we released our embrace from one another. If I had my way, I would spend every waking moment in my husband's arms, their offerings of hope and comfort my only solace.

I looked up and stared into his soulful eyes, their color though the exact hue of mine, contained infinite love and wisdom within their depths. "You know, Carlisle, I am so looking forward to us spending some quality time together. I'm so sorry I've been so…"

"Stop, Esme," he interrupted, gently placing his finger on my lips. "You have nothing to apologize for, and it's been so long since we've had some alone time that a trip away for us is long overdue." Oh, how I loved this man!

"Carlisle? Esme?" Edward said as we heard him enter the front door and his scent wafted up the stairs.

In a second, both Carlisle and I were at the top of the landing, with Edward waiting in the living room to greet us.

"Welcome home," I whispered, returning his smile. He took in a little gasp, reveling in my newfound, blissful mood.

"Thank you Esme. You seem a little better today," he said, smiling knowingly as he read my crystal clear mind.

Edward reached out and took me in his arms and whispered over my shoulder, "You didn't honestly think you could hide your feelings with Jasper and I around, did you?"

I shook my head no, and in response he squeezed me harder. Edward's behavior had been so exemplary, considering my feelings over these weeks, and neither Carlisle nor I had once ever heard him voice my thoughts to anyone else in the family. For that, I was eternally grateful. The last thing I wanted was for Nessie to feel anything but joy during one of the most special times of her life. "I appreciate your understanding Edward," I said, withdrawing from his fond embrace and walking towards the window, suddenly feeling guilty as I stared longingly into the forest.

Carlisle was immediately behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist as I felt his eyes stare out the window with me. "Esme, never feel guilty for being who you are," he said as he kissed the back of my head. "You are a kind, loving woman that any child would be proud to have as their mother, and that includes each and every member of this family. You are so passionate, so loving, and grieve still for your loss. Never be ashamed of your feelings, they are part of who you are…promise?" he asked.

I nodded silently, closing my eyes as I felt his body press against mine, and could not believe how lucky I was to have such an understanding mate.

"So, you two are going to your Island? It's wonderful to hear that you're taking a break," Edward said as he stood near the window, gazing in recollection out the window with us. "It seems like only yesterday that Bella and I were there. Things have certainly come a long way since then," he mused. And they had. Everything about this family as it stood now was wrapped around that magical place, the place where it seemed that anything was possible. I smiled as I watched him reminisce, my own thoughts turning back in time to the day when Carlisle had surprised me with the gift of my very own island…

I had been so busy with things after Alice and Jasper had joined the family. We had relocated multiple times due to Jasper having trouble with his new diet. He was always repentant, but we moved on to be safe. After almost a year Jasper seemed to have gotten more control over his appetite, and we were finally able to settle in a new place with the chance of staying for a few years in a row.

I had set to work, remodeling the rooms, designing pieces to have them built in a manner that would perfectly suit our family. Each couple needed their own space, and Edward needed space away from everyone else.

I had taken into account Rosalie's need to tear apart machines and rebuild them, Emmett's desire to have a games room. Alice needed large closets, and Jasper and Carlisle needed their own study areas. I spent hours sketching and ordering from color swatches and catalogues, as the internet hadn't been invented yet.

After everything had finally been delivered, and arranged, or in some cases remodeled with the help of Emmett, Rose and Jasper. I sat back to admire my handy work. Carlisle had arrived home that evening looking very smug.

He sat down with me as I looked over the house and asked how I felt about it.

I had told him that I felt after doing so many things, life was going to seem a bit slow. Carlisle had smile and told me he was hoping that I would say something like that. He then pulled a large envelope out of his pocket and placed it into my lap.

I had looked at him questioningly, but his gold eyes gave away nothing. I loved a good surprise, and my husband knew it, never failing to do special things for me to keep me on my toes.

I turned the manila envelope over in my hands, noting the weight of whatever it contained. It was not a simple letter, for it was heavier than that. I slipped my nail under the paper, slicing it open as one might with a letter opener. Gently pushing the flap open I reached inside and felt the smoothness of a leather folder.

I raised my eyebrow at my husband in confusion, but he merely shrugged his shoulders, wanting me to discover its contents for myself. I grasped the folder and pulled it out, regarding it's heavily embossed cover. The reddish leather held only my name on the cover, and I traced my fingers over the carefully tooled leather.

I laid it in my lap, carefully opening it, so as not to damage anything inside. In the pockets of each side there were very official looking documents. I glanced down at one and lightly slid it out, looking over the information it held.

The paper discussed the physical proportions of a piece of land far below the equator. As I read into the details, it held the specific to an island in the tropics. The other side had a land map, that showed specs for appropriate house locations, indicating where it accessed fresh water tables, and the position of hot water springs.

I tried to understand what the meaning of all this was when I noticed one last piece of paper in the folder. I reached down a plucked out the less conspicuous piece of paper. The document was the newest one, and the ink looked glossy against the official parchment. This was the new official title of the island, stating that it was now to be known as Isle Esme.

Carlisle had bought me an Island. I turned my face up to my husband's, and found him gazing at me, love clear in his clear, golden gaze. "I thought you might want a place for just us, now that the children are all settled. You can take your time, since there is no rush to get it done, and we can get away on our own, with no one to bother us while we bask in the sun. What do you think?" he asked.

I had spent the next week showing him what I had thought of his touching gift. And the next thirty years building and remodeling with the passage of time. But it had always been one of my favorite places when I need a change of pace. Carlisle knew me so well then, just as he did now. He was right. It was time for a vacation.