I finally found you
Disclaimer
I don't own any of the characters in The 100 even if that is in the show or in the book. It belongs to the TRUE creator..
Chapter 2
Lexa was in her deep peaceful sleep until she heard someone. "No."
"No! no! I'm sorry!" Lexa sat up immediately and found a struggling sleeping Clarke. The sun is still not rising and Lexa knew it's still late.
The instinct of taking care of Clarke kicked in. Lexa soothed a scared Clarke. "Shh, you're safe." Lexa put Clarke's head on her lap and tucked a lock behind Clarke's ear. She's so beautiful. Lexa thought, but this is not the right time to think of that and Lexa knows it too. "Wake up Clarke. You're just dreaming. It's just a dream."
Clarke rustled from her position, until she opened her eyes. She immediately saw a worried Lexa in front of her. That made the blonde sat up quickly. Clarke put her hand on her forehead and wiped the sweat that's beginning to trickle. Lexa started rubbing Clarke's back and that made the blonde relaxed.
"Is that happening a lot of time in the past?" A worried façade of Lexa once again, all she can think is, she made Clarke feel something horrible like that.
Clarke nodded and she tucked her feet and wrapped her arms around it, but that didn't stopped Lexa's movement on Clarke's back. "The last time was more horrible than this one."
Lexa moved from the fur she's sitting to Clarke's side. "Do I need to know what you dreamt on the last time?"
Clarke kept her eyes averted on the wall of the cave and begun. "I was walking in a forest, the grass are covered in blood. I kept walking until I saw that there is a blood in my hands too. I started wiping it, but it didn't work, it just made it worse. More blood has been trickle down my hands, until I saw an old man standing in a distance not far enough. I tried to call him for a help, but it seems he can't hear me. I lost in patience so I run towards him. I plead him to help me, but then when he turned around. A bullet wound on his chest and blood rush down on it, until I see his face. He's President Dante Wallace. I started running away and he said to me that the bloods of the people that had died in the mountain are in my hands. One by one, men, women, and children came after me. Saying I'm a murderer. Tha-" Clarke was interrupted by Lexa.
"Stop." It's the only word that Lexa said. She can't hear it anymore. She can't hear how Clarke was suffering after the occurrence in the mountain. This is her fault that Clarke was dreaming about it. Her fault why Clarke is suffering to what she needs to do just to save her people and just to make sure that no one will harm them. Sky people are safe, but the person who got them out is different from the person who she has been and it's Lexa's fault.
Clarke can feel her blood boiling; she needed to let it out. She wanted Lexa to hear it. She's been tormented long enough. Clarke stood up and that made Lexa do the same. "It's your fault!" Clarke spat the words in Lexa's face.
"Clar-"
"No! Shut up! You're the reason why I'm dreaming about the people who have died in that mountain. You betrayed me Lexa! You betrayed me, I never thought that you'll be the person will do that to me. I trusted you!" As the tears rushed down in Clarke's eyes and it pain Lexa, her heart throb by looking in Clarke's face. Nothing but anger, she can't do anything for Clarke, but she knew Clarke needed to let her anger out of her system that's why she just looked at her. Clarke sniffled. "I trusted you! Even my people don't like it. They trusted me that the alliance we agreed on will work! But what did you do huh? You betrayed me, betrayed my people. You left us in that mountain to die, you left me. I killed the President, I irradiated the whole damn mountain to save my people, and I killed the people who have helped us. Now, my friend hates me for killing his lover. Maya, she's the one who helped us. I was devastated when I saw level five; people burnt skin because of the radiation. They were killed by me because I exposed them! I exposed them; even I know that a little radiation could kill them! But I have no choice, He's killing my friends and my mom!" Clarke broke down, but Lexa caught her. Clarke tried to liberate from Lexa's embrace, but it's no use, she's too weak to fight. "You could have helped me! You could have helped me save them by not killing the people in that mountain. You could have!" Emotion streaming down, Clarke can't help but vanished in Lexa's embrace.
Lexa felt her eyes starting to water and she didn't even care at the moment. She knew that a commander needed to be strong, but Clarke was hurting at the moment because of her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Clarke." Lexa said as she leaned her face in Clarke tresses. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry by hurting and betraying you. Please forgive me." A commander never apologized, but Clarke deserved to hear it. Clarke just cried in Lexa's arm as she gripped Lexa's clothes, like her life depends on it.
Moments have past, listening to each other's emotions. Until it died down, nobody dare to speak first to a fright that the other one don't want them, until Clarke broke the silent atmosphere in the cave. "Please don't leave me again." Lexa was shock in disbelief, it made her head up. She's lost in the pool of blue in Clarke's eyes. In Lexa's nature, she can't help but wiped Clarke's tear on her eyes. They just stared at each other's eyes and lost in each other's dearest embrace.
"I promise you Clarke, I won't leave you again." Clarke felt the desire to pull Lexa on her, but keep her instance in place. "I can't lose you again. Not anymore."
Clarke just nodded and let her eyes be closed. "Just hold me." Clarke felt safe being embraced by Lexa. She never felt safe with anyone before, not even with Finn, her mother wanted her to be safe, but not like this. She never felt like this before, she felt love in it, a love that a special someone is the only one who can make you feel it.
"I will, sleep now princess. I will be here when you woke up." Princess, Clarke never thought she'll hear Lexa call her that. Clarke's body is exhausted, she needed to be revitalized. She's once again feeling the safety in Lexa's presence, as the fatigue took over her body.
clexaclexaclexaclexaclexaclexa
Lexa's POV
Holding Clarke for hours, until it safe for her to lie down on the fur without breaking her slumber. I sit down on the ground beside her and watched her sleep. It broke my heart to see Clarke like that. It broke my heart that it's my fault why she's feeling that way. Watching her peacefully sleeping is the most calmness thing I've done for the past days. I've been searching the woods with no distress but all hope in my mind to find her and the destiny uphold. I found her and that's all matters.
Leaving her and the sky people in that mountain truly made me suffer. Days have past after that occurrence in mount weather; I've been acquired that the skaikru survived the mountain men. I remembered when one of my sentries had told me that news. A pang in my chest has lessened, but it grew again when they told me that Clarke went away from Camp Jaha. I dismissed the sentry that has brought the news. I let it not affect me, but it didn't work. In weeks, I let Clarke be in the wilderness to be just by herself. In those weeks, I've learnt the outcome of my decision is the worst.
I made my people safe, no one was harm, excluding for the warriors I've lost before I've taken that deal. I've honored those warriors that we had lost and I didn't even realize, people still died even I've made that deal, sky people, Clarke's people. It made me believed, that Clarke will hate me for the rest of her life. I never had the courage to choose heart over head because I'm a coward. The past commanders aren't cowards, but I do know for sure, they had this time in their life too that made them choose something they didn't want to.
The last eight days I've been in the wilderness, had me no luck to find Clarke. I've ran away from Polis just to look for her. I know that my teacher won't be pleased when I get back to Polis because our people need their commander. Always need their commander, to make me swear to protect them. Our way has always been 'jus drein jus daun' and it made me weak when I took that deal in the mountain. No blood had rushed down the mountain that they deserved. No blood had rushed down to the grounders, but the blood that skaikru got will hunt them forever, especially Clarke.
That's why I've decided to looked for her because I've realized what I have done just to protect my people. I never intended looking for her just to get her power, but to gain her trust again. The trust that I've broke, the trust that I might not gain again. The feelings of mine towards her for our past experiences, that never change, but it had been stronger. I never regret initiating our first kiss in my tent. It made me broke a little because of her strong feelings to her last affiliation, but I respected that.
Before all of that deal, I already made a plan for us. I wanted her to bring in Polis because I know it will change everything about us. We are not the person that the sky people think, we're better than that. But the last hours, she agreed going with me in Polis. I guess she'll change her mind again because of what have happened.
I sighed and closed my eyes, taking a deep breathe. Until I noticed a light coming from the outside. It must be the sunrise, I thought. I opened my eyes and realized that Clarke moved a little, her hand finding someone beside her. She must be looking for me, a glint of smile spread in my features, but I immediately hide it. When she got nothing to find, she immediately sat up and look around.
I just looked at her. "I'm here Clarke."
Clarke turned into my direction and released the breath she's holding. "I – I thought you were go-"
That made my body shuddered a little, that anyone can't notice. "I promise to be here when you wake up." I said.
Clarke looked at the space in her fur. "I thought you won't leave my side. Thank you for staying."
I shifted from my sit towards the space beside Clarke. "I decided to make you comfortable in your sleep and that's not a problem at all. Your company is worth it."
Clarke looked towards my eyes and begun. "I – I'm sorry about earlier. I know I went too far." The worried glint in her eyes made me do my next move.
I held her hand and reassure squeezed it. "To be honest, I deserve it." Clarke nodded and she smile at me knowing that I really deserved it. "I don't blame you, but I blame myself. I know I'm not the person you wanted to see right now, but I assure you Clarke. I'll do anything in my favor just to gain your trust again." A hope in my eyes and I gave her a little glint of my smile.
Clarke looked at our hands, it made her smile. She retrieved it and looked at me in the eyes, the bluest I've ever seen in my life. "When are we leaving?" She asked and I got confused.
"When are we leaving?" I backed the question she had asked.
Clarke chuckled and put her both hands on my face. Looking directly at me, I swear, if she'll keep doing that I might faint. "When are we leaving to go in Polis you idiot." Did she just still consider my offer? My eyes widen.
"You still want to go in Polis?" I asked and put my hands on her hands on my face.
"Yes and I still want to explore it, but I can't do that if you won't tell your people not to kill me when I'll first laid my foot in the border in Polis. I'm pretty sure they think I've killed you because you're literally missing and you're the commander who's with the almighty wanheda." She laughed; her laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.
I gained my composure and I didn't waste any time, I hugged her. "Thank you so much Clarke. You won't regret it, I promise you."
Clarke patted my back. "Yeah, I swear for the loving of our God, if you ever left me again. Don't ever come near me." The stringed in her voice is evident and I know now what will I not do in the future. I smile in my own because I'm just happy she still wanted to see Polis even the incident happened.
Clarke broke the hug and I can see the smirk on her face. "Why are you like that?"
"Nothing, just thinking the possibilities that I will do while I'm in Polis." That made me nervous.
A yawn escaped my mouth. "Don't be so energetic when you're there Clarke, but I need you to enjoy yourself." Clarke noticed the tiredness in my eyes.
"Lexa?" She begun, I'm not going to give in, in this one.
"Hmm?" I hummed and steadied my features.
"Did you sleep earlier?" Clarke asked and my eyes drooped.
I stood up and offered a hand to help Clarke up, but she didn't take it. "I'll take a rest in Polis Clarke." I reassured her.
Clarke looked at me confused. "After our occurrence, what exactly did you do?" This is not what I came for; I can't deal with a strict Clarke. "Please say the truth." The glint of worry in her eyes just gave me in.
My shoulder slumped, but spoke nothing but the truth to her. "When you fell asleep, I just held you for a few hours. I can't leave your side while you're in pain Clarke. While you're sleeping in my arms, you're just so peaceful. So I let it happened. Then hours have past, I guess, I lay you down on your fur so you'll have a comfortable sleep. I did nothing but watch you drift in your own world. I just can't go back to my own slumber knowing that you might still be hurt." The sincerity in me is just overflowing. I know Clarke can feel it too. My feelings aren't hiding to her, she knows.
Clarke stood up and made sure there's a respectable distance between us. She looked at me with that worried glint in her eyes and it made me melt in the inside. "Please promise me you'll rest in your room when we got there?"
"What about the tour?" I asked.
"We can do that after you rest. I will hide from your sentries in there, because they might kill me." Clarke never stopped her humor.
"I will kill anyone who dares to harm you." I assured her.
Clarke eye brow rose. "What about the mountain men?"
I'm speechless, did she really just asked me that? "I-" Nothing else came out of my mouth.
Clarke's eyes went wide and she struggled. "Oh no, no! I'm just kidding Lexa. Oh my God."
I released the breath I'm holding. I put my hand on my chest and looked at her. "Don't do that again Clarke."
"It's just a humor, holy god." Clarke rubbed my shoulder and it made me calm. Her reassuring that I'm fine.
I wanted her to know that I'm sincere about it; I turned my face towards her direction. "I'm deeply sorry about the mount weather Clarke, I really am. I hope someday you'll forgive me. The day you'll finally can look through me and not having a second thought towards me for giving me a second chance."
A tear escaped Clarke's eye and I immediately wiped it. "I know and I know someday I'll forgive you. I can feel that forgiving you won't be a long time in the making." She smiled and I returned it back.
I nodded and asked her. "Are you ready to see my world?"
Clarke nodded and looked through me. "I'm already seeing your true world." I know what she meant by it. "But I'm ready to see that tower of yours too." She chuckled and I nodded.
As we gathered Clarke's pack and went outside. I hope the past commanders are in my side in this one, I can't lose her again. I pray for the Gods, everything will turn out in a good way. The only person that keeping me from the distress I'm feeling is the woman beside me. I know when I'll get back to Polis, everything will be different, but I already consider the outcomes. I just want Clarke to be safe and be happy by my side. Titus won't be pleased by this.
Questions? Thoughts? You're free to leave a review. Thanks.x
