AN:

I apologize for taking so long to update. I've had a lot to deal with in real-life and haven't had time to write. I'm so sorry.

A SPECIAL SHOUTOUT to the guest who corrected me on Gumball's name. Apparently his name is Bubba, not Barry. I have decided to fix this by using Bubba as a nickname. For the purposes of this alternate universe, there is a brand of gum called Bubba Gum. Thank you so very much, Guest!

Please review! Also, check out my other story, Ooo… Aaa…, if you like my writing. Thank you for reading!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Adventure Time. If I did, there would be a lot more Fionna and Cake episodes.

Here we go…

My second day at ATHS looked like it was going to be very boring. Morning classes were muddled with fools making stupid, pointless interruptions to the class lectures, which by consequence interrupted my ability to distract myself by focusing on the drone of the teacher's voice. I would never let anyone believe it, but I was actually quite smart and already knew most of the material, as my father was a college professor who was determined to make me follow in his footsteps. My exemplary grades were part of the reason teachers let me get away with acting like a delinquent. I only paid attention in class when I needed to get my mind off something.

The baffling question was, why did I need to get my mind something? I had been distracted since yesterday, unable to control the angry clenching in my gut whenever I thought of my scene partner. Which was often. I couldn't get the image of her arms around her boyfriend's neck out of my head. What kind of name was Barry, anyway? Who names their kid that in this day and age?

I couldn't tell you for the life of me why this girl was stuck in my head. She was just a freshman, after all, nothing to me but a classmate. A classmate with perfect hips…

No. Stop, Marshall. You're a beast, you could have any woman you wanted! Why limit yourself to one girl, especially an unavailable one? It's not like she's the only attractive girl in the school. Broaden your horizons.

Yes. I needed to broaden my horizons. I looked around the class, surveying the room's female population. There were a small handful of pretty girls, but they were all clustered together, giggling at whatever was on each other's cell phones like middle-school girls gossiping about their first crushes. Ugh, where was the maturity? It didn't matter anyway, I supposed. They'd be lining up at my locker soon enough anyway. It was annoying, but they always did, and why should I waste such an easy meal, so to speak? I went back to ignoring them and glared out the window, waiting for the teacher to get the PowerPoint running.

At lunch I hid on the roof of the library. I had a knack for getting onto obscure, high places. It was kind of like parkour, I guessed, but less mainstream because I was the one doing it. Long story short, I climbed a dumpster, pulled myself up onto the thing covering the breezeway and jumped between a few roofs. I figured if there was any place I wasn't going to be bothered it would be the library. The only people who visited this end of the school of their own volition were nerds, and I scared them anyway.

I normally hid out in my car to escape the crowds and the sun, but today the sky was as bleak as my mood which was enough to coax me outdoors. I leaned against an air vent with my eyes closed and pulled an apple out of my bag. I liked to eat red foods when I was angry. The vibrant color made me feel like I was consuming the blood of my enemies. Yes, it was dark, not to mention plain weird, but it was a strangely effective form of anger management. I sank my teeth into the fruit, enjoying the crisp crunching sound that action produced. Again, I did acknowledge how dark that was.

That was about when I heard the laugh that was already too familiar to me. My eyes snapped open and sought the source. I saw her down in the courtyard between the library and the arts department. She walking in my direction with Barry and a pretty girl I didn't recognize with dark skin and oddly caramel-colored hair. They paused just before the eaves, just within earshot but out of my line of sight.

Fionna laughed again at something her friend said that I didn't quite catch. "Cake, don't worry, I will be there."

The other girl responded, "You sure? I know the football team isn't exactly your crowd, Girl," I smirked to myself. If she was dating Pinky, jocks really weren't her thing. "But if you think you can handle it, you won't regret coming. This party is going to be hawt."

Barry laughed, kind of a straight-laced chuckle that made my spine crawl with annoyance. "Well, Catharine, in that case I am truly sorry I won't be able to make it."

"You and your stupid debate tournaments, Bubba" Fionna chided the freak. "I swear, it's like you're cheating on me with competitive persuasion."

"Well I had to get good at it if I was going to convince you to go out with me, didn't I?" I almost laughed out loud at that. Well, wasn't that the truth?

Fionna laughed again. "Okay, okay, go ahead and ditch me for your tournament. Now, I have to study if I intend to pass this European History test tomorrow. You guys should go eat." My fists balled at the sound of him kissing her goodbye and then I saw Barry and Catherine walk back across the lawn toward the rest of the school.

I didn't hear Fionna move, so I stuffed my lunch back in my bag and headed to the edge of the roof. She was standing on the lawn, very invested in some text she was sending, which meant she didn't notice me. Her back was to me, so I quietly slipped down, lowering myself from the eves and onto the ground. I leaned against one of the pillars nonchalantly and waited for her to turn around. When she did, she almost walked right past me.

"Cake? Bubba?" I laughed at the nicknames to get her attention. She jumped back, startled.

"Where did you come from?" she demanded, her voice tight with shock.

"The roof."

"Um… What?"

"I was eating lunch. So what's up with the food nicknames? Isn't Bubba a kind of gum?"

"Oh, those," She brushed her bangs back. Her cheeks were lightly flushed from surprise. "Inside jokes. I called Catherine Cat when we were little but she got sick from too much birthday cake when I turned ten, so I changed it. When I started dating Barry we figured he needed a food name, too, so I named him after bubblegum because he wears so much pink. He also goes by Gumball sometimes."

"Because his heart is so gummy?" I teased sarcastically, which earned me a fist to the shoulder. "How come you don't get a nickname?"

"I do have one. They call me Blondie Bar sometimes, but it's not as catchy."

"So you're saying that they don't use it because you won't let them?"

She grinned, pleased. "Exactly."

There was an awkward pause, so I asked her another question.

"What's up with this jock party?"

Fionna gave an exasperated sigh. "Cake's boyfriend is on the football team and they're planning to throw a huge party if we win the state championship, which we're expected to do. It's a super exclusive bash. Only the team, their girlfriends, and the lucky few with invitations are permitted entry. I got invited this morning, but my plus-one bailed on me."

"For a debate tournament."

She glared. "You shouldn't eavesdrop. It's rude."

I laughed. "You know, that's funny, because I literally dropped from the eaves just now."

Fionna rolled her eyes, but then I saw a scheming glint behind them. "Hey, what are you doing two Saturdays from now?"

"Fionna, I just moved here three days ago. I don't have much of anything planned."

She smiled up at me persuasively. "Well, you may as well get to know some people. How would you like to come to a party with me?"

Well that was a predicament. Personally, I would rather my car fell off the jacks while I was working under it than attend a party put together by football meatheads. However, a few Bubba-free hours with Fionna did sound very tempting. Hmm… "You sure I'd be welcome at something like that?"

She stepped back to size me up. With my black hair that hung down into my dark-green eyes, my red flannel that hung open over a black tee, my dark jeans and converse shoes, I didn't quite come off as someone who spent a whole lot of time socializing. Her thoughtful expression scared me a little.

"Would you be willing to let me tweak with your wardrobe?"

"Define 'tweak.'"

"Oh, nothing major. We'd get you a new shirt, maybe some different jeans, possibly a new pair of shoes. Oh, and a haircut."

"I'm not cutting my hair."

"Can I at least do something different with it?"

"Promise me that it doesn't include scissors or dye, and you can do whatever you want."

She did a little victory fist-pump. "Awesome! So you'll come to the game, too, right?"

I sighed. "Only if you make me."

"I'm making you." She paused to check her watch. "Yikes! I have to go study. My parents will have my head if I fail this History test." She stretched onto her toes to hug me. "Bye."

I stood there for a moment after she was gone, memorizing the feeling of my arms around her waist. I now had plans with an unavailable young woman. What was wrong with me?

AN:

The views reflected in Marshall's inner monologues do not necessarily mine. I love football and I have nothing against its players or the name Barry. Please don't eat me. - Dawn