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Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight…blah

(EsPOV)

I laughed as my family gathered around me, telling me what to write. I nodded as I heard each suggestion, and wrote most of them down. I finished fairly quickly, and read it over.

Dear New Mom,

My name is Esme Cullen, and my husband, Carlisle, and I have adopted seven children. Bella, Edward, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, and Renesmee(Nessie). We also have a family friend, Jacob Black, who stays at our house quite frequently. Bella, Edward, and Alice are 16, while Rose, Jasper, and Emmett are 17, Nessie is 8, and Jake is 19. Our family is also avid vegetarians. Jake is not, but we don't mind, for I make a separate dinner for him. My day usually begins at 5 am, when I have a little time with Carlisle before he leaves for the hospital. My children usually wake up at 6:30 (except Nessie), or earlier, and they never have any complaints. Nessie goes to the local elementary school, while everyone else goes to high school. Jake is going next to college next year, but he has finished high school. On Friday nights, we have a movie night. We usually watch many movies, everyone gets to pick one. Nessie does not stay up for all of them, but the rest of the children can go to bed whenever they want. Have fun!

Sincerely,

Esme Cullen

I nodded, thinking this was a good human lifestyle. I ordered the kids to clean the house, and move their clothes and such into their new rooms. Carlisle helped me pack, and as I was shutting the suitcase, all of my children and my granddaughter filed into the room, holding something behind their backs. Alice spoke, "Esme, we are all giving you going away presents, and I hope you enjoy them. I'll go first."

She stepped forward, and handed me a bag, lined with velvet in the inside for all of my presents. Then she gave me a tape recorder, and I looked at it quizzically. "I recorded everyone's voices; you can listen to it when you miss us."

I hugged her hard, and smiled. Jasper then came up, and handed me a picture of Carlisle and I. We were smiling, our arms around each other, looking into each other's eyes. Jasper gave me a quick hug, as Emmett came forward.

"A joke book, mom. I wrote it." I flipped through the pages, laughing. He gave me a big hug, lifting me off the ground, and I giggled. Rose came up, and handed me a book on gardening.

"For when you get back, "she said smiling. I nodded, wishing I could cry. Edward then said,

"Esme, Bella, Nessie , and I have a joint present. I was the handed a book, filled with drawings by Nessie, poems by Bella, and music from Edward. I smiled, and hugged them all one last time.

As my family left, I turned to Carlisle. "We are so lucky to have such a wonderful family, "I whispered. He nodded, then whispered,

"Do you want to know what my present is?" he then captured my lips with a gentle kiss. "We still have an n hour before the limo picks you up and…"

I gasped a little, and made sure the door was locked. "That will be plenty of time…" I growled, lying him down on the bed.

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5 hours later

As the limo pulled up to the house, I looked outside eagerly. I wanted to see what the house looked like, and if it needed any remodeling. Maybe that could be one of my new rules. The two story house was small, but messy. Toys lay on the front lawn, and all the bushes and shrubs were unkempt. With the camera's following me, I stepped out of the limo, and trod upon a toy that squeaked under my shoe. "This family needs to learn how to clean" I said out loud, for the camera's benefit.

I entered the house, being careful of where I stepped. I saw and smelt dog air everywhere. Oh great, they had a dog. Or 2. I peeked into the kitchen and saw dirty dishes piled high in the sink. "They didn't even clean up for a guest, huh?" I muttered, but the camera got it all. I walked into the family room, and saw beer cans, pop bottles, and empty wrappers everywhere. "They definitely need to clean up!" I said, louder this time. I headed upstairs, and saw a hallway with four doors. The first held a queen bed, and looked like the master bedroom. They had a large TV, and a mini fridge.

"Wow, I guess they like to eat, "I said, as I left the room. I looked into the second room, and saw…chaos. The bed wasn't made, clothes were littered all over the floor, and pictures of swimsuit models adorned the walls. "A boy…probably a teenager." I said. I wondered if he was like Emmett.

The third room held a bathroom, and the fourth was what looked like a guest room. Probably mine. At least that was clean. "They must not go in here often, the room is so clean!" I laughed, and walked back downstairs.

On the kitchen table was the mom's guide. I sat down in a chair, and started reading.

Dear new mom,

My name is Allison Baker. My husband Mike and I have one, charming 15 year old son, Hudson. He is a sophomore at the local high school, and I think he enjoys it. He does not participate in any sports, but he does go paintballing with his friends once a week.

I stopped. I forgot to put in that my kids don't play sports, either. Oh well. I went back to the note.

My husband and I do not believe in chores, but we do go to church once a week. Also, my husband hunts a lot. There is plenty of fresh meat in the freezer, feel free to take some!

Sincerely,

Allison Baker

After I had read the entire guide out loud, I looked up to the camera. "This family needs to learn about chores, and they need to have a bit more control over their son."

I then excused myself to the bathroom, so I could be away from the cameras for a minute. I lay my head against the tiled wall, and hoped that my family back home was having an okay time. I looked at the joke book Emmett gave me, and read a joke to myself, and I cheered right up. I felt better as I walked out of the bathroom and waited for the new family to arrive.

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They arrived ten minutes later, and I went to the door, ready to meet them. The door opened, and a balding, pudgy man stepped through with his arm around a tall, obese boy. The man spoke first.

"Hello, my name is Mike Baker, and this is my son, Hudson."

I shook both of their hands, and introduced myself. "My name is Esme Cullen. My husband, Carlisle, and I have 7 children, and I hope we have a good week together."

Both of their eyes bugged out of their head when I said seven children. I smiled at that, and Mike led me to the guest bedroom, where I would be staying. They left quickly, and I set my suitcase down, and sat down on the bed. The assistant producer came over and said,

"Mrs. Cullen, we will officially begin tomorrow morning, so please relax and rest until then." With that, he left the room, and I fell against the bed, already missing my crazy family.

Please excuse any spelling mistakes, but I am exhausted!!! REVIEW!!!!