A/N: Thanks all for the reviewage on the first of these one-shots, peops. I appreciate all your ideas for future 'scenes' and am taking any and all into consideration that I didn't already think of myself - I will credit you if your idea is original and I use it ;) Now, for this one, I may not be so popular, but it's the direction I chose to go in and I'm not changing my mind, sorry!
(For disclaimer, etc. - see 1.)
2. Choices - 30th January 2006
She should be concentrating. It wasn't as if Rory didn't know that. Lectures and classes required her full attention if she was ever going to pass and ultimately graduate Yale. It had been tough Freshman year, but she handled it in the end. Of course she always knew that coming back after a whole year out to have a baby, it was going to be tough. She was taking less courses and living off campus, moves designed to make it possible for her to attend Yale and be there for her son. It was working, in the sense that Rory was doing both things, but she wasn't happy about either situation right now.
One eye was on her cell phone, as it so often was when she was at Yale. It wasn't that Rory didn't trust the people watching Jack, because she did. Often he was with Jess, or Mrs Rossini was baby-sitting. Then there was the times when Lorelai, Luke, or even Lane would take a turn. These were people that Rory trusted with her own life and so she certainly trusted them with Jack, that wasn't the issue. The problem was that she was missing things.
Jack started trying to talk earlier than most babies would. Nobody was surprised, after all, he was half Gilmore. Rory spent hours encouraging him to say Momma first, whilst Jess challenged her authority by forcing the issue on Dadda. It was like a running joke, but they both wanted to win. They started on other words after that, Rory saying that Jack would manage 'Rand' long before he could get his little tongue around 'Hemingway'. They spent a lot of time trying to get a whole real word out of Jack, and for so long it was nothing but gurgles and nonsense. Then one day it happened. Jess picked his son up out of his carry seat and Jack proclaimed 'Dadda' for all to hear. All except Rory. She had been at Yale and missed the whole thing. It broke her heart to know she had missed such an important moment. Jess tried to tell her it was fine, that it easily could've happened the other way around, because Jack could've spoken to Rory first whilst Jess was working. It didn't make her feel better, not one bit. Jess had to work, because they had to have money. Rory didn't have to go to Yale, and more and more she started to wish she hadn't made this choice.
The last week, Jack had started trying to stand and walk. He would pull himself up against the furniture, fingers holding on tight to the edge of the coffee table or the side of the couch. He couldn't balance on his own yet, but it was going to happen soon, Rory just knew it. Jack had come so close this morning before she left Mrs R in charge of her baby and headed to school. Now she was constantly checking her cell for a text to say it had happened.
Jess would be home by now, Rory thought, as she glanced at her watch. This was her second class of the day and her fiancé had been at the diner extra early for inventory and the breakfast rush. He would be home now for a break whilst Lane did a shift over lunch, and then head back in later when Rory got home from Yale. If Jack decided to stand up for Daddy, she would miss another milestone. Rory's heart clenched in her chest. She was hearing nothing of what the professor was saying, not a word, and she just didn't care.
The phone vibrated in her hand and Rory's eyes returned to the screen. Jess had sent her a text with a video attached. The message said only 'Almost' and when she hit play on the video Rory saw her little boy stood up under his own steam, almost getting momentum for the first step before falling on his behind and laughing at his own tumble. Rory wanted to laugh too and cry at the same time, having some sort of epiphany in this strange moment of focus.
"Miss Gilmore!" the professor called on her and she looked up fast to see an annoyed man staring in her direction. "I really am going to have to ask you to put the cell phone away now."
Rory shook her head.
"No," she said definitely, weirdly amused by the shock that registered on his face.
"I beg your pardon?" the professor checked.
"No," Rory repeated firmly, getting up from her seat and gathering her things together. "I'm sorry, but no. I shouldn't be here," she said with a perfectly reasonable manner and smile.
"Miss Gilmore!" the professor called behind her as she tripped down the stairs between rows of her fellow students and headed for the door. "I hope you understand, there are no make-ups on this class..."
"No, you don't understand," she said, turning to face him at the last. "I don't want to make-up the class. It's not that I shouldn't be here in this room right now, I shouldn't be here at all. I have a baby at home, a son. His name is Jack and today he's probably going to stand by himself for the very first time," she explained, waving her cell phone around they had shown her evidence of that fact moments before. "And where am I? Right here at Yale. It's not where I belong. Maybe I did before, but... but not now. I'm done," she shrugged easily and then was gone, right out of the door.
Rory expected to feel upset or angry about her situation, but as she headed on down the halls towards the exit, she felt none of these things. All she did feel was a lightness and a freedom the like of which she never did expect. For so long, she wanted to attend Harvard and then switched her focus to Yale. Still, she was certain she wanted and needed that further education. Everything changed last year when she found out she was pregnant. Her world shifted, and though she was still interested in journalism and writing in general, it wasn't her main focus. Her family mattered more, the changing world of her baby boy came first. Maybe some mothers could handle both, and that was great, but not Rory. She just didn't want to be here anymore.
"Hey, Rory!" a voice called behind her and she turned right by the exit to see Logan running up to meet her. "Wait a second..."
"Logan, I need to go," she insisted when he closed the door she had been about to open.
"I get it, I do," he told her definitely. "Y'know there was a lot of talk around this place about you last year, the pregnant drop out girl and all," he explained awkwardly. "You know how it is with rumours and everything, and I sure do because there have been enough about me."
"Do you have a point, Logan?" she asked, eager to leave.
"I do," he nodded. "Rory, you know if you walk out that door they're really not going to let you back in, at least not any time soon. I get that your kid matters a lot to you and he should, but just think about what you're doing before you go ahead and lose this chance."
He meant well, Rory knew that. A lot of people looked at Logan Huntzberger and saw a person that only cared about himself. In a lot of ways that might be true. He was rich and privileged, and he did like his own way, but Rory had got to know him a little over the last few months attending Yale together. Logan wasn't all bad, and he was one of the people who had been nicer than most to Rory. All the rumours and stories, the fact that she had skipped a year to have a baby, some people were judgemental, but Logan was oddly kind. That's how Rory knew he meant well right now, but it didn't change the fact she had to leave.
"Thank you, Logan," she told him, offering a hand for him to shake. "You've been a great friend these past few months, but I really do have to go. I didn't think anything could matter more than my career and Yale, but I found something that really does."
Rory smiled genuinely as Logan shook her hand and then raised it to his lips to kiss her knuckles.
"You're one of a kind, Gilmore," he told her definitely. "I hope that boyfriend of yours understands that."
"Fiancé" she corrected, retracting her hand and pushing open the door. "And yes, I'm pretty sure he does."
Rory drove home just as fast as the speed limit would allow, pulling into a spot outside the apartment building and pelting inside. She came crashing through the front door in time to see Jack standing under his own steam with Jess on the floor beside him, applauding the achievement.
"Oh my God!" Rory gasped at the sight, surprising her son enough that he toppled backwards onto his butt again.
Jess looked up at Rory a second, before tossing his cell (which he had been using to film the event) into the armchair and moving across the carpet to check on Jack.
"You okay, little buddy?" he asked the boy. "Yeah, you're fine, right?" he said, offering a high five.
Jack knew high five very well already and threw his chubby little hand towards Jess' own with a giggle.
"I made it," said Rory as she came over and sunk down onto the carpet beside Jess. "I wasn't sure if I would but... I'm so proud of you!" she told Jack, gathering him up in her arms for a big hug.
Jess watched the scene with a smile, but he knew something was wrong here. Rory had a class today and she would've text and let him know if it cancelled or something, she always had before when plans changed. Besides, it was obvious she had been crying long before she got here and shed happy tears over Jack's achievement in standing up alone.
"Ror?" he checked. "What happened?" he asked over Jack's head.
"I kind of quit Yale today," she admitted softly, feeling a little weird about saying it out loud. "Jess, I know you're going to say you don't understand and that I'm crazy to throw away my life like this but... but it's not my life anymore, at least not right now. Jack should be my focus, he is my focus. I can't be there when in my heart I know I want to be here. I don't want to keep missing things, first words, first steps, all the milestones. Jess, I need to be with my son."
"Hey, it's okay," he told her, moving to put his arms around both Rory and Jack together. "I get it, I do," he promised, kissing her temple as he held her tight. "It's your life, Rory, and your decision. If you don't want to be at Yale, I'm the last person who would tell you that you should be."
Rory knew that. Jess always said she should do whatever she wanted to do, be whoever she wanted to be. It was an opinion they shared, but with all the planning and such that had gone into making this work, making it possible for Rory to go to school around bringing up a baby, she just felt strange about throwing in the towel.
"It's not like you're quitting because it got too rough for you," said Jess softly. "You just got a better offer," he smirked as she looked up at him. "This little guy can be a hell of a distraction for the best of us," he said, ruffling Jack's fine hair.
The little boy reached up to remove his father's hand and giggled at the game borne out of snatching at Jess' fingers.
"Dadda!" he exclaimed happily, playing around, and then he looked at Rory and threw himself bodily back into her lap. "Momma!"
Her eyes went wide at the sound of that word, and then filled with new but entirely happy tears as she hugged him.
"Yes, baby. I'm Momma," she confirmed happily. "And I love you so much."
A/N2: Now, I'm not judging people who juggle school/work with raising kids, I just think this is a choice Rory might make in the circumstances, that's all. You can agree or disagree, but there you go. Sorry to anyone I may have disappointed!
