Thomas chuffed up to Tidmouth Sheds the next morning. "GET UP, MY STEAMIES!" he yelled. His friends stared at him.

"And listen up cuz' I have a lot of important things to say!" Thomas added.

"Fizzling fireboxes! That's...interesting?" Percy replied, confused.

"Wait, no, never mind. Race you all to Knapford Station!" said Thomas, getting a head start.

So all the engines raced to Knapford Station at 5,000 miles per hour, somehow fitting into all the tracks and running over many pigs on the way.

"I WIN! BECAUSE I AM THE FASTEST!" Gordon announced happily.

"NO ONE CARES!" Edward screamed back.

"I LOVE PIE!" Percy shouted.

"Oh god. We're all crazy." Henry backed away and then collided with random trucks filled with fish. "It's the Flying Kipper accident all over again! EEK!" Henry fled.

Then Fatty walked onto the platform, eating a pen and dollar. "Hey engines! You're all supposed to be doing jobs, not standing here being useless! Whatever happened to the 'really useful engines' title?!" he yelled.

"Fine. GO TO WORK, FELLOW STEAM LOCOMOTIVES!" Thomas screamed.

"What's a locomotive?" Toby asked stupidly.


"TO WELLSWORTH STATION, HERE I COME!" James was arriving at Wellsworth at full speed. He slammed his brakes on, and as he stopped his coaches banged into each other.

"Oops," he said quietly as his passengers got out of the coaches started yelling at the stationmaster and one passenger was just yelling his head off for no apparent reason.

Gordon puffed over. "Oh Jamie, your poor passengers! You should not stop so suddenly!" he laughed.

James glanced ahead of him and put on a smug expression. "At least my passengers can step onto the platform, Gordon." he smirked.

Gordon then realized that he had stopped to far from the station. "Oh, the indignity!" he exclaimed.

James laughed. Then he paused. "Wait. Did you just call me Jamie?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah. Is there something wrong with that?" Gordon replied.

"Yes! I'm not a girl!" James yelled, glaring at him.

"I know. But that's your new name. Bye!" Gordon blew his whistle and raced away...forgetting that he hadn't even stopped to let his passengers depart.


"YEAH PLAYERS GONNA PLAY, PLAY, PLAY! HATERS GONNA HATE, HATE, HATE! SHAKE IT OFF! SHAKE IT OFF!" Percy sang loudly at the Shunting Yards which was decorated with balloons.

"SHUT UP!" Stanley screamed as it rained silver items.

Percy gasped "You finally spoke! After years and years of just being a cameo engine, you talked!"

Stanley wasn't amused, and put on a 'Stanley-is-not-amused face'. "Yeah. So what? I'm going back to shunting boring trucks." he said boringly, and boringly went off to boringly shunt boring trucks.

"Geez, grumpy much?" Percy muttered, and then began singing again "MY ANACONDA DON'T, MY ANACONDA DON'T WANT NONE UNLESS YOU GOT-"

Skarloey fell down from the sky and crashed into Percy. "Don't sing such a inappropriate song! Think of the poor children!" he shouted. Then Skarloey's driver stuffed a bar of soap in Percy's mouth.

"Skarloey, you just broke the fourth wall!" Rheneas said, rolling his eyes.

Percy spit out the soap. He paused. "Now my mouth feels too clean to sing such a inappropriate song. Thanks!"

"Wait. Where did you get soap?" Rheneas questioned, raising an eyebrow at Skarloey.

"I don't know! The soap store?!" Skarloey responded, rolling his eyes.

Rheneas looked confused and blinked. "There's a soap store on Sodor?"

"You should know that. You've lived on this island for over 150 years." Skarloey said annoyingly, blowing steam everywhere.

Then a hobo came out and started dancing. Then Charlie told him a joke and the hobo was taken off by an eagle.


"WHEEEEEEE!" Thomas sped down Gordon's Hill with a load of ice cream as if he had drunk 6,000 gallons of coffee.

The ice cream spilled all over the tracks, and Gordon was coming with the express (for some reason, the engines still do their jobs even thought they've gone crazy).

"Express coming through!" he called, blowing his whistle. Then he slipped on the ice cream covered rails and crashed into a tree. "CURSE YOU, THOMAS!" Gordon yelled.

Thomas laughed manically "BUT I STILL LIKE CINNAMON BUNS!"

Paxton oiled up (is that even possible?). "What's a cinnamon bun?" he asked.

Thomas replied "A bread roll filled with awesomeness!"

Paxton somehow turned around on the tracks and raced away screaming.

Then Thomas teleported over to some random station on Sodor by the name Maron Station.

James and Duck were there. Duck was quacking like a duck while James was being attacked by a flock of 1 million birds.

"Ugh, get these pests off of me! They're going to spoil my paintwork!" James whined, blowing his whistle in attempt to scare the birds. That didn't work, so then he blasted steam everywhere, which only got his driver and fireman soaked.

Thomas snickered. Duck's driver then decided to use the fireman as a piƱata. A stuffed pigeon fell to the ground.

Duck finally stopped quacking and asked, "Hey Jamie, do you want to have one of those sheds I have for sale?"

"Did you just call me Jamie?! It's JAMES!" the red engine screamed in annoyance.

"Whatever. Now give me your money." Duck quacked.

"I don't get why you need all that money. I'm sure a tank engine's salary is pretty good." James replied, still letting off steam everywhere.

Duck looked at him in shock. "Are you kidding? C'mon, a mixed-traffic engine's salary is even better! I'm just a tank engine from the Great Western Line! Speaking of which, there are two ways of doing things, the Great Western way, and-"

Thomas hated that line with passion, so he went away and accidentally ran over a clown.

Oliver overheard what Duck was saying. "Not again! We get it, you're obsessed with your Great Western origins!" Oliver shouted at him.

Duck just stared at him before repeating, "There are two ways of doing things, Oliver, the Great Western way, and the wrong way."

"I KNOW, I KNOW! JUST STOP!" Oliver screamed annoyingly, while James looked on very confused.

"There are two ways of doing things, Oliver, the-"

"AAAAAAAGHH!" Oliver did a slo-mo scream and then exploded as Duck kept repeating that line over and over like a broken tape recorder. How strange.

Then the Mr. Conductor guy appeared and yelled, "SPARKLE SPARKLE SPARKLE!"


Like it? :P Please R&R! :)