Why did life have to be so cruel? She wept late into the night, mourning the loss of her true love. She must have cried herself to sleep because the next thing she knew, she was awoken by Phillip's screams. She sleepily glanced at the alarm clock. It was 12:24 am. This world's way of telling time was very convenient. Dragging herself out of bed, she staggered over to Phillip's crib, gently lifting him into her arms.
"There, there," she whispered, placing a gentle kiss to his soft, sweet head. "Don't cry. Mama's here."
Sitting down on the edge of her bed, she lifted her shirt up, gently guiding his senses to her nipple. He latched on easily, sucking the milk from her breast. She softly hummed to him, again the same one Mulan had taught her. She couldn't seem to get it out of her head. Now that her late husband Phillip was gone, Mulan was the only person she had left who she truly loved. At the thought of Phillip, a fresh wave of tears sprang to her eyes, slowly cascading down her cheeks. Choking on her sobs, she tried hard to control herself. Not in front of baby Phillip, she thought to herself. She was simply too broken, though. The sobs came, tearing from her chest uncontrollably.
"O-Oh P-Phillip, i-if y-you c-could m-meet y-your d-daddy, y-you'd l-love h-him s-so m-much!"
She hung her head, weeping brokenheartedly. She placed her trembling lips to Phillip's head, shakily breathing in his fresh smell of innocence. Her tears splashed one by one onto her baby's head. He didn't seem to mind, though. He looked up at her, his big blue eyes gleaming, his chubby cheeks moving as he continued to suck the delicious milk.
"O-Oh P-Phillip," Aurora sobbed, kissing his head. "I-I l-love y-you s-so m-much."
At this, she buried her face into his soft pajamas, sobbing heavily.
"Y-You'll n-never k-know h-how m-much I-I love y-you," she wept, her voice muffled. "I-I w-want y-you t-to l-live a-a h-happy l-life, b-but w-without y-your f-father i-it w-will b-be s-so h-hard."
Broken sobs erupted from her chest as she held her baby close. She didn't realize somebody had entered the room until the light turned on and she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up, her vision blurred from tears to see the least person she'd expected to see at this moment. It was her best friend, Mulan. |
"M-Mulan, i-is t-that r-really y-you?" Aurora sobbed, taking in all of the woman's features.
There was no mistaking it. The long, silky hair, black as night, the warm, inviting cocoa brown eyes, the beautifully tanned skin, the lean, muscular build. It was her. It was really, really her.
"Yes, Aurora," whispered Mulan. "It's really me."
Aurora was silent for a moment, taking shaky breaths, before her emotions again got the better of her.
"O-Oh M-Mulan, i-it's t-terrible!" she sobbed.
Mulan quickly sat down on the edge of the bed, pulling Aurora into a tight embrace.
"I know, I know," she soothed, gently stroking the woman's back.
"I-I j-just c-can't b-believe I-I l-lost h-him! A-Again!"
"Shh, everything will be all right. Trust me."
"O-Oh M-Mulan." Her sobs echoed throughout the room.
"I know it hurts," whispered Mulan, gently stroking the girl's hair, "but you're strong. You'll get through."
"I-I d-don't f-feel v-very s-strong."
"I know, you won't right away, but give it time and you'll heal."
"B-But M-Mulan, I-I j-just k-know I-I w-won't!"
"Shh, don't talk like that. Trust me, everything will turn out."
She gently pulled Aurora's tearstained face from her shoulder and brushed the tears from her cheek, reaching out to caress the smooth skin.
"Just take deep breaths. You'll calm down."
Aurora followed Mulan's orders, taking deep, slow breaths until she slowly felt the urge to cry disappear all together. When she had no tears left to shed, she lay in Mulan's arms, her eyes closed, shaking and sniffling. Mulan shifted, gently placing a lock of Aurora's auburn hair behind her ear.
"There, see," she whispered. "You calmed down."
Reaching over, she grabbed a box of tissues off Aurora's nightstand. Taking one out of the box, she used it to gently wipe all the traces of tears from Aurora's face. Throwing it in the wastebasket, she held another one to the queen's nose, instructing her to blow. Aurora obliged. She was too beyond reality to even be embarrassed. Mulan kept ordering Aurora to blow her nose on tissue after tissue until her nasal passageways were clear, allowing her to finally breathe.
"Thank you Mulan," Aurora whispered, burying her face in the warrior's chest. "For taking care of me."
"Oh, you're welcome Aurora," replied Mulan. "I'm honored that you allow me to take care of you."
Aurora smiled, burying her face deeper into Mulan's chest.
"I missed you so much," she said. "I'm just so happy to see you again."
"I missed you terribly as well," Mulan replied. "When I heard of Phillip's death, I came as quickly as I could." Her voice broke. "I'm so sorry."
Aurora's throat burned and her eyes stung, but she refused to cry.
"Me too," she said, her voice shaking.
Mulan hugged Aurora, patting her back.
"Well, I see you had the baby," Mulan commented, smiling at the baby lying in Aurora's arms. "And I see it's a very handsome baby boy."
"Yes, his name is Phillip."
Both women were silent for a moment, honoring Phillip's memory.
"He's beautiful." Mulan broke the dense silence, smiling. "May I hold him?"
"Of course," whispered Aurora.
Handing Phillip over to Mulan, she smiled as she watched the two interact for the first time. The warrior gently rocked him back and forth in her arms, reaching out to gently caress his chubby cheek. As Phillip looked up at Mulan with amazement, a miracle happened: he smiled! Aurora laughed with joy. Phillip's first smile!
"Mulan!" she cried. "That's his first smile!"
She hugged Mulan tight, a sob of joy escaping her mouth. Pulling away from the woman, she was met with the beautiful sight of Mulan's smile-her real smile. The one she'd seen across her face after putting Aurora's heart back. The ones she'd seen when giving Aurora self-defense lessons. The one she'd seen when they told embarrassing stories around the campfire late at night. The one when Aurora hit the target with an arrow for the first time. The one when they went swimming that day in the lake and got into a water fight. The one when they raced each other to the top of a tree. The one when Aurora comforted her the night she was missing her family. Mulan's smile was beautiful. To her, it seemed it was brighter than a thousand sons. Is it normal for me to think about Mulan this much? Hmmm, probably not. Mulan's voice ripped Aurora away from her thoughts.
"Aurora, did you hear that?! Phillip laughed!"
Aurora gasped as the baby boy's laugh rang out, as clear and beautiful as a bell. Tears of happiness stung Aurora's eyes. Laughing for joy, she kissed his sweet little head, trying hard to breathe in all the emotions that were coursing through her body. Having Mulan here made her even more emotional somehow. It was all just too much. On top of everything else: Phillip's death, her post-partum depression, adapting to this strange new land, having Mulan back after so many months made her feel emotions that she'd only felt once before, but never as strong as this. Did she love the woman? No, it couldn't be that. She was exhausted to a point where she could no longer control her emotions. Proving her hypothesis, an uncontrollable sob tore from her chest at this moment. She just couldn't control herself. Putting her face in her hands, the floodgates opened, releasing the tears that had been tightly restrained. She was suddenly enveloped in Mulan's warm arms, her head gently brought to the woman's chest.
"It's okay, Aurora," Mulan whispered, gently rubbing the woman's back.
Aurora sobbed harder than before, fully accepting the painful truth of Phillip's death. Taking deep, gasping breaths, she tried desperately to calm herself down, but to no avail. It surprised her when Mulan planted a gentle kiss to her head. Aurora felt her heart skip a beat, the butterflies in her stomach increasing.
"M-Mulan," she sniffled, pulling away from the woman's chest.
"Yes, Aurora?" whispered the girl, brushing a tear from Aurora's cheek.
"Y-you're really beautiful," she croaked, her voice hoarse from crying.
A look of shock flashed past the warrior's face, but was immediately replaced with a smile.
"Thank you," she said, looking away awkwardly. "You're a hundred times more beautiful than me, though."
"T-that's not true at all," said Aurora, wiping her sleeve across her nose. She knew this was very ill-mannered of her, but was right now too deep in thought to even think of getting a tissue. "Everything about you is mesmerizing. Your hair is always so perfect. You don't have to style it all fancy because it's just so incredibly beautiful no matter what. And your eyes-oh, I love your eyes."
Aurora stopped suddenly, not sure what had came over her. Mulan was blushing furiously. Aurora almost laughed. Mulan was the last person she'd ever expected to see blush.
"I'm sorry," Aurora said rather quickly. "Did I cross the line?"
"N-No, A-Aurora," Mulan stammered, shaking her head. "Thank you very much. You're probably the only one who thinks I'm beautiful."
Aurora frowned.
"Now, I seriously doubt that!" she exclaimed.
"If I were to describe your beauty, though, Aurora, it would turn into the longest poem ever, I assure you. Your eyes are like clear pools of water. I could stare into them all day. And your hair is the most beautiful color. I don't even know what to call it. Auburn, perhaps? Hazelnut, maybe? Well, whatever you think sounds best, it's gorgeous."
Aurora was frozen with shock. Nobody had ever complimented her like that before. She shook her head, tears pooling in her eyes.
"Aurora," Mulan said, noticing the girl's composure begin to slip again. "It's okay. There's no need to cry."
Gently laying the sleeping Phillip on the bed, she pulled Aurora into a hug, gently stroking the woman's shoulders.
"Shh, you're okay," she whispered, as Aurora once again became undone in Mulan's arms. "I know losing Phillip hurts, but trust me, it'll get better."
She held Aurora, whispering words of comfort, until the girl finally began to calm down. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Aurora buried her head in her best friend's chest.
"I-I j-just m-miss h-him s-so m-much," she gasped, trying hard to regulate her breathing.
"I know, I know," whispered the warrior, hugging the queen tight. "Just let it all out. I'm here for you."
Aurora bit her lip, trying hard to show that she was strong, but she was weak. Bursting into tears, she threw herself into Mulan's arms, violent sobs shaking her body.
"I-I j-just w-want t-the b-best f-for P-Phillip. I-I d-don't k-know h-how I-I c-can g-give i-it t-to h-him w-without h-his w-wonderful f-father b-by h-his s-side."
"Phillip will have the best," Mulan reassured her friend. "I promise he will. You and I will make it work. He'll be the most loved and cherished of all children, I assure you. I will fight for him and you, no matter what. He'll be safe, happy, and healthy. I'll make sure of it."
At Mulan's words, Aurora began to sob even harder, embracing her friend tighter than ever.
"M-Mulan, y-you're s-so k-kind!" she sobbed. "I-I've n-never h-had a-a f-friend g-greater t-than y-you!"
"And nor have I ever been blessed with a friend as great as you," Mulan whispered hugging the girl tight. "Everything's going to be okay, believe me. We've got each other, and we both know that when you and me work together, we're unstoppable."
Aurora slowly lifted her tearstained face from Mulan's chest and looked into her calming brown eyes.
"W-Will y-you stay with me t-tonight?" she whimpered.
"Of course," replied the warrior, giving the girl a comforting hug. "I wouldn't dream of leaving right now."
Aurora gave her friend a watery smile, and with one last sob, took a deep breath. She sniffled, wiping her eyes harshly. Mulan smiled.
"Let's go get you cleaned up," she said.
Helping Aurora up, the two girls walked into the bathroom. Mulan turned on the sink, wetting a washcloth. Turning to Aurora, she used it to gently wipe all the traces of tears off Aurora's face. Walking across the room, she grabbed a box of tissues, handing it to her friend.
"Thank you," said the queen, her voice raspy.
"You're welcome."
Turning away from Mulan, she blew her nose. By the time she was done, she'd used up the entire box. She and Mulan stood there in silence for a moment before the warrior coughed awkwardly.
"Well," she said. "I think it's time we both got some sleep."
It wasn't until then that Aurora realized how exhausted she was. She swayed on her feet, the room spinning. Mulan caught her before she fell.
"Careful," she said. "You must be exhausted. Come."
Taking the other woman's hand, she led her out of the bathroom and to the bed.
"You get comfortable," Mulan advised. "I'll take care of Phillip."
Picking him up off the bed, she walked over to his crib, gently placing him beneath the soft blankets. On her way back, she turned off the lamp, darkness washing over the room. Aurora smiled. Everything was actually going to be okay. A happy feeling in her heart, she snuggled under the quilts. Seconds later, she was joined by Mulan. The warrior nestled under the blankets, putting a protective arm around Aurora. Aurora snuggled into the embrace, burying her face into Mulan's chest.
"Go to sleep," whispered the warrior. "You're safe. Everything's fine. I'm here for you."
No sooner were the words out of Mulan's mouth that Aurora felt the clutches of sleep pulling her under. Closing her eyes, she fell asleep in the warrior's arms.
She awoke the next morning to the birds chirping and bright sunlight pouring through the windows. She sat up and looked around, disoriented. Had it all been a dream? Had Mulan really come back to her? The sight she laid her eyes on next answered her question completely. Mulan was sitting at the table, a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her, gently bouncing a fussy Phillip on her knee.
"Oh, good morning Aurora," she said merrily. "Ruby brought us some breakfast. You better eat it before it gets cold. Oh, and I think Phillip's hungry."
To prove Mulan's point, the baby boy let out a hungry wail. Aurora laughed.
"Oh Phillip," she said.
Standing up, she walked over to the table, taking Phillip from Mulan. Sitting on a chair across from Mulan, she lied Phillip down sideways on her lap.
"I hope you don't mind," she said.
"Not at all," replied Mulan. "He needs to eat."
Feeling a bit embarrassed, she lifted her shirt, Phillip instantly latching onto her nipple. Mulan quickly averted her gaze from anywhere but Aurora's chest and cleared her throat.
"So," she said casually. "How have you been doing?"
"Well, after you left Phillip and I continued to rebuild our kingdom and attend to our royal duties. It was never the same without you, though. I missed you terribly."
Mulan looked guilty.
"I'm sorry I left," she said, pain evident in her face. "You'd never understand if I told you why.
"But I would, Mulan!" exclaimed the queen, grasping the other woman's hands tightly. Please tell me! Nothing could ever stop me from being your best friend! Nothing! Please believe me."
Mulan sighed shakily, tears glistening in her eyes.
"Mulan!" Aurora gasped, her heart racing.
Rarely had she seen the warrior show any signs of weakness, so she was shocked at the range of emotions Mulan was showing.
"Whatever is the matter?" she cried, reaching across the table to wipe away a tear that had began to roll down the other woman's cheek.
"Y-you wouldn't understand," said Mulan, her voice tight.
"Oh, but I would! Please tell me!
