Breathe in.. But it was proving impossible.

What is life any more? Is there any point of being here? My whole life I'd spent just desperately trying to be accepted, from the age of about 4 or 5 when I started writing with my left handed and it seemed to everyone as if I'd just grown 2 fucking heads or something. My teenage years were me pursuing my dream of acting but, no one agreed with it, they laughed at me and called me gay, I dared tell them I liked both girls and boys. Phil was the only person in a long time that had made me feel any kind of acceptance. He was the reason I'd met most my friends.. PJ, Chris, Carrie, Alex.. So many more. He was also the reason I'd started YouTube and we were living a kind of adventure together.. The adventure so many people have dreamed of, it was a reality for us. All the phanfiction that I pretend to cringe at, I actually like reading these different scenarios.

"Dan.. Wakey wakey" I was brought back to reality by Phil's voice and him flapping his hands around my face.

"Uh, oh.. yeah. Sorry, I was just thinking about how I needed to get a girlfriend too" I smiled awkwardly as I told this blatant lie "so, what's her name?" I asked, pretending as if I cared.

"Oh.. Her names Hayle. She just moved from Australia a few weeks back. I met her in the streets- She was wondering around confused so I helped to get her back to her flat and we saw each other a few times since"

"Well I'm glad you're happy." Phil nodded along and started to take a sip of his Hot Chocolate "So when am I going to meet her? She sounds really nice" I said, trying to hide the pain I was internally feeling and keep a conversation going so he knows nothing is going on. Suddenly he started to choke on his drink, spitting it out. I had no idea why. Was he shocked that his best friend asked to meet his girlfriend?

He cleared his throat, after he cleared the drink from his lungs. "Oh.. sorry. I just didn't expect you to ask to meet her that fast"

"Oh.. No. I don't have to!" We had reached the tube station and were scanning our oyster cards on the card readers, waiting for the gates to open and let us through. It was already 9:23 and our tube was due in 2 minutes. Gates opened and we ran through the gates to our train. We had just made it and luckily I hadn't needed to put my head in the door to stop the train for Phil.

After about half an hour I'd noticed he'd gone a little quiet. Usually these train rides were our opportunity to cast our minds back to the events of that evening. What crazy songs the Phandom come up with and more importantly who they dedicate the songs to. For some reason all he did today was go on twitter for the entirety of the journey, replying to tweets more then he ever had done. It wasn't like him and I'm sure the Phandom could tell. I wasn't sure if he was deliberately avoiding conversation or if he simply didn't know what to say. It had been a pretty standard radio show and we had been having a pretty awkward discussion previously.

Finally we reached home and it was earlier then expected. We usually got home at 11 but today we reached home by 10.. Probably because we didn't stop to get dinner. We decided it would be easier to get home first and then I could go back out and pick up fish and chips while he edits his new video. Phil went to his computer to edit and I headed out again.

I walked into the cold streets once again and crossed the road to the fish and chip shop that seemed to light up the street. It was pretty quiet and there was only one person inside. A woman with brunette hair and blue eyes. I could of sworn my heart skipped a beat the moment I set eyes on her. I walked into the shop and up to the counter.

"Umm.. Hey. Can I get two portions of fish and chips" I said to the woman working at the shop.

"You're just in time. We're closing soon"

"Okay, thanks"

"Just wait there while I cook the chips"

Perfect. I had the opportunity to talk with that beautiful girl I had seen.

"Hey. My name's Dan"

"Hey, I'm Tiffany. Nice to meet you" She put her hand out for me to shake. I couldn't get over how flawless her manors were. I took her hand and shook it, still breath taken by her beauty.

I wasn't sure what to say next, I wasn't good at this. I think she could tell and so helped break the silence.

"So how old are you?"

"I'm 21. What about you?"

"I'm 19. Do you work?" She said with a smile.. What ever you do Dan, don't mention youtube, you're doing so well!

"Yeah. I'm a radio DJ and Internet Cult Leader.." I had just come to a realisation of the words I had said.. Cult Leader. I'm fucked.. This couldn't be going worse. But she just took it with a pinch of salt and giggled.

"Cult leader? What's that supposed to mean?" She said in a jokey tone, clearly concerned.

"Basically I'm a video blogger on youtube and I have a lot of people who watch my videos and I hate saying I have fans because it makes me seem like I'm a celebrity which, dear god, I'm not. So instead of saying I have fan's I just say I'm an internet cult leader. Makes it a lot easier."

"ahh, I see! Sounds fun! And what about the whole DJ thing?"

"Oh, me and my friend got recognised by BBC Radio1 because of our youtube channels and large following. We now do the Sunday night request show"

"Oh wow, that's so interesting. You're so lucky"

"Yeah well, we worked really hard to get here"

"I can only imagine"

"So do you work then?"

"Umm.. Yeah. I am an app developer for both android and IOS and in my free time I also do random roles in assorted theatre productions. I love doing both but don't get payed well for either. Once I made and app that got over 700,000 downloads and I got no recognition for it. My boss took all the credit and didn't even give me fair pay.. It wasn't much. Just the money made on ads but, It's still money, right!" I felt my heart start to break there and then. It must be so hard.

"food's ready.." The woman from behind the counter called. She set 2 portions of Fish and Chips down on the counter and 1 portion of chips. Tiffany picked up her chips and started to get some money out of her pocket. I noticed this and insisted I pay for her too. At the time she argued that she can pay for herself but after reassuring her it was okay she finally settled down and let me. I started walking out of the shop, remembering the conversation I'd just had.

"Wait.." I turned around to Tiffany's voice as she started walking up to me "You paid for me, now I should give you something back" She then gave me a piece of paper with what seemed to be her mobile number scribbled on it. This made me smile so much, I probably looked like a twat but at this moment I didn't care.

Phil's POV

Why did I have to tell him I had a girlfriend.. Was it to see his reaction? Was it to see if he believed me? To see if he was upset by the words to prove to me that he liked me in the same way I liked him. What ever I had done, I didn't know whether I should regret it or not. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him. Why did I want to make him feel that way?

Suddenly Dan burst in holding the brown bag. The smell of greasy food came wafting in. Dan looked a substantial amount happier then he did before he left.

"Why are you suddenly looking so happy?" I asked.

"Umm.. I met this girl at the fish and chip shop. She was stunning. I think my heart literally skipped a beat when I saw her and we talked for a while and then she gave me her number" He said, setting the food on coffee table while taking one portion out, wrapped in paper. He passed it to me but I wasn't really taking notice. I was just in total shock that he had met a girl who he was quite clearly head over heals for. This alone was enough to prove he didn't have any kind of feelings for me.

Dan's POV

Me and Phil ate in silence, which I hated. I was pretending to move on but it was really hard. He was with Hayle and I had just met a gorgeous girl who I'm yet to get to know better. Hopefully she will take my mind off Phil.

Later that night

I decided it was the perfect opportunity to text Tiffany now..

Hey

hey

how are you?

I'm good, you?

I'm good. What you up to?

Nothing really. Just interneting

Should of guessed xD What you up to tomorrow lunchtime?

Nothing, why?

I was wondering if you were free to go and get some lunch and get to know each other better?

Yeah, I'd like that. Where do you want to meet?

Outside the fish and chip shop at say 12:30?

Okay, See you then

Yeah, see you then!

I'm going to head to bed now.. getting late. Bye x

Okay well sleep tight!

Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction written alone.. I'm writing another one with a friend and that made me realise how much I love writing but I can't write until they finish their chapters so I decided it was a perfect opportunity to write my own Fanfiction. I posted on the facebook fanpage that I help admin (dedicated to the phandom) what my fanfic should be about and the popular demand was a phan story. This may be incredibly awkward in places.. I am a terrible writer. Please leave reviews to improve my work though- It will be much appreciated!. Thanks c: