Unexpected Son-Hood
Parallel to Chapter Two: There's Nothing Tree Related in This Chapter
In other words, this is what would happen if Kakashi went into an even freakier dimension.
"Ah, do I need reason to ask?" Kakashi's eye crinkled as he began his flattery. "I just wanted to visit you, of course. You are the great Toad Sannin, the legendary Pervy Sage, creator of the peerless Icha Icha, my father's best friend, and my sensei's sensei so—"
Tsunade's sake bottle crashed onto the floor. Minato paled. Jiraiya's jaw dropped.
What happened? Kakashi's eye widened and he barely managed to hold back a curse. Oh right. I'm still supposed to be angsty about my father. Shit. It's kind of hard to hold a grudge after dying, having a heart-to-heart with chakra ghost of your dead father, and coming back from the grave. Had being around friends—family, really—made him lower his guard so much? Sloppy work, Kakashi. Weren't you supposed to be good at infiltration missions?
Jiraiya stood up. "Kakashi," said the Toad Sage gently. Gently. Since when was Jiraiya gentle? "I know it's hard for you to accept, but you must face the truth. I wasn't your father's best friend. I am your father. You may have been conceived in a one-night stand between me and Sakumo, but that doesn't mean I don't love you."
With a scream of horror, Kakashi crumpled to the floor. Jiraiya was his father? Sakumo was a woman? Of all the horrifying things that could happen, this was undeniably the worst. Forget Itachi being a girl. His own father was a woman!
"Fuck this. I'm out of here." Kakashi lifted his hita-ate. "Mangekyo Sharingan! Kamui-Kamui-Kamui!" Kakashi was gone before they could even blink.
The three remaining ninja stared at each other.
"So," said Minato, completely baffled, "what just happened?"
