Chapter 2

Zelretch considered himself lucky, that he was able to reach the shed in time to save Shirou from being skewered by Scathach even if it did end up with Scathach sending copies of Gae Bolg at him aimed at his head, heart lungs, knees and groin. That woman had a really scary reflex.

"Now, now calm down little witch, I'm not here to fight." Zelretch said in a light humorous tone, he was not worried much about himself even though he was facing a godslayer, not when he had the ability to send her in the path of a Death Star's Planer Destroying Laser Beam. Even if the beam failed to kill Scathach, Zelretch was sure that she would be stranded in space or become a problem for the Imperials in either case she would no longer bug him anymore.

"And pray why should I not slay you where you stand you dead leech?" Scathach bit back, ready to summon more of her spears and cast her runes all over the place, if the glow at her feet was anything to go by.

"Why if you did that not only you would miss out on a great explanation on why you and the others are here, the poor boy that you scared to death would also miss out on the giant mess he created." Zelretch stated grinning ear to ear and being seemingly unconcerned at the floating spears that Scathach had summoned behind his back for a sneak attack. Did the woman really think he wasn't going to notice them? "Also 'Dead Leech'? Now that is something I have not heard in a long time and I was called a leech for an entirely different reason back in Westeros."

"I care not about the riddles you speak leech, explain what you have to explain and be gone from my sight before I decide to make a puppet out of the corpse you wear." Scathach gritted out, it seems that she was running out of patience.

"First of all this is not a corpse, little witch." Zelretch said pointing to his body. "This is one hundred and ten per cent genuine article of the concentrated manliness and guts of the Schweinorg dynasty, enhanced by pure grit and power of utter undiluted awesomeness that is yours truly." Zelretch boasted shamelessly, grinning like a loon.

"And secondly…are you really in the position to argue little witch?" Zelretch said not losing his insane smile in the least.

Scathach did not know why the creature as smiling so brazenly and acting so confident when he had shown to knowledge about her identity. Her legend while almost forgotten in the modern world was still something that residents of the moonlight world feared and should know just what they were going up against. So it was strange seeing the creature act so confident in his safety, she really was questioning the mental process of the creature before her and doubting its sanity. Still regardless of the creature's sanity, it had offered to give an explanation about her situation and just for that she was going to kill him later and not now.

Suddenly Scathach felt a chill ran down her spine as she felt something touch her arteries near her neck, her spine, her throat, her heart and knees. She knew the feeling of the well, after all how could she not recognise the feeling of her own spears.

"Well played leech, I never thought that portal were your speciality." Scathach commented, grinning at the creature. While portal users were exceedingly common, there were not many who could use them well and creatively.

"One of my many specialities, now that the others are waking up let's move our conversation to a more suitable place shall we." And with a snap they were in the Emiya common room. Zelretch kept Shirou near him while the others slowly woke up and Zelretch help them calm down for now, even if he got a face full of Noble Phantasm courtesy of the resident King of Heroes.

"Now that everyone is awake and settled, I shall introduce myself. My name is Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, Wizard Marshall and future mentor of you Master Emiya Shirou, the boy to my right, the person who summoned you all and made you his familiars. Now any questions?"

"Yes just one, grandpa. Why is Shirou a small boy again? Last time I checked he was an adult and was being chased by Ciel." Arcueid asked, making Zelretch feel a phantom headache already, now that he thought about the consequences of his foster granddaughter being summoned as a familiar.

"Arc, I'll be direct. This boy is not the Shirou you know and is just an 11 year old boy..."

"Almost 12" the boy chimed.

"…almost 12 year old boy" Zelretch continue without missing a beat, "and has somehow messed up a familiar summoning ritual so bad that it summoned you all and bound you as his familiars. Also you are not only in the past but in a completely different universe too." Zelretch added at the end.

Arcueid simply nodded at his explanation, being quite familiar with these kind of things.

"Then one more question grandpa." Arcueid, the White Princess of the moon and his foster granddaughter who had somehow being summoned as a heroic spirit, said gaining a serious expression, one that Zelretch had only seen when she hunted down Roa. Now this was bad, a serious normal Arcueid was already bad but a Heroic Spirit Arcueid was 10, scratch that 1000 times worse.

"Yes granddaughter." Zelretch asked fearing what her question, if her question was something that had an answer she didn't like. Arcueid could go on a rampage that might be all but impossible to stop even with all the Heroic Spirits present, and yes he doubted even the King of Knights and King of Heroes and the Freaking Godslayer and an Avatar of the goddess Amaterasu would be enough to stop her.

"Is Shirou still a great cook?" Arcueid asked her eyes shining with anticipation and hunger.

"Yes." Zelretch replied with equal seriousness, now Shirou was someone whose identity was that of a sword and though in the entirety of the multiverse that could change to become fire or blade or anything else. An Emiya Shirou that was not a cook that could cook great food fit for a king was not an Emiya Shirou at all and simply an imposter wearing his name.

"Ah than I'm good. I did once say that I was willing to become his familiar if he could keep making all those delicious dishes for me," Arcueid said sending a bright smile towards the boy. "I guess it did come true though not in the way I was expecting."

"So, any more questions?" Zelretch asked the rest of the gathered heroes.

"Is he really Emiya Shirou?" Brynhildr asked making Zelretch raise an eyebrow at her question. She sounded hesitant and oddly sad.

'She must have used her Noble Phantasm on HS the version of EMIYA.' Zelretch thought seeing the concerned looks the Valkyrie was sending the boy.

"Yes, but please remember that you are in an alternate universe and thus he is different from the one you might have met." Zelretch reminded Brynhildr and the others. He did not want his future apprentice to shoulder the burden of his counterparts' mistakes and reputation.

"Is that so huh, I guess than I shall have to endeavour to make sure he does not have go down the same path as HE did." Brynhildr replied "Even death is much more merciful than the fate he received. If I can prevent the boy from going down the same path as that man, then I will happily accept being the boy's familiar."

'OH BOY! BRYNHILDR MET CG!EMIYA! This is going to cause all kinds of chaos knowing her personality.' Zelretch thought as he deduced which Emiya, Brynhildr was referring to exactly. 'Damn I stuck an Oscar gold in term of entertainment this time. EMIYA for once I am happy that you have an E-Rank luck that allowed you to have a Yandere Valkyrie Chasing after you. This is gold, pure gold.'

"As you wish daughter of Odin, as you wish." Zelretch simply said keeping his thought to himself.

"If he really is Shirou than I have no problem acting as his familiar." Tamamo chimed. "Especially if what the other say about his performance is true." She finished giggling at the end making Shirou shiver uncontrollably.

"Down you perverted fox." Brynhildr said as she smacked Tamamo with her spear, "I will not allow you to corrupt Shirou."

"And who gave you that right?" Tamamo said clutching her head in pain.

"I gave it to myself of course. And it is also my duty as his familiar to protect my Master's purity from harlots like you." Brynhildr replied calmly, she really was getting into her role.

"And so…it begins." Zelretch commented as he observed the scene.

Looking at the other women present, Zelretch sweat dropped as he saw Jeanne and Arturia glaring at each other. Scathach and Gil doing the same while Young Medea and Okita were shaking with fear at the ominous aura the two pairs were releasing.

"So you girls are okay with becoming the boy's familiars?" Zelretch asked though with the way the two pairs were glaring at each other, he was sure they had not heard him.

""Yes."" Okita and Medea shouted bolting behind Brynhildr and Tamamo.

"Yes. And the boy is going to become my student." Scathach said not taking her eyes off Gilgamesh.

"Yes. And the boy is going to become my student. I refuse to allow another faker into the throne." Gil said glaring at Scathach.

"Being a faker is Shirou's special trait. I don't think even you 'King of Heroes' could change that. He would simply just make a mockery of your treasures, so leave his studies to me princess." Scathach commented, making Gilgamesh growl.

"And really what are you going to teach him to become, a mad dog? Trust me with your history it is better that you leave him to me, oh, Queen of nothingness." Gilgamesh retorted, making Scathach growl in response.

'Did I miss something?' Zelretch wondered seeing the animosity between the two Heroic Spirits. Shrugging he turned to Jeanne and Artoria and asked them for their opinion.

"I am willing to become the boy's familiar, he seems quite interesting. The fact alone is enough for me." Jeanne said as she kept glaring at Artoria.

"I am also willing to become the boy's familiar. He is going to need all the help he can get if the present company is anything to go by." Artoria said she return Jeanne's glare with her own.

"Like a naïve princess like you would be able to handle anything."

"I can do it better than a witch like you."

"Dragon witch, to be exact, your countrymen were quite insistent on it."

'Okay so is this the French and Briton rivalry or is it the rivalry between the Dragon and the Dragon Witch.' Zelretch wondered, as he saw the two knights trade insults with each other.

Zelretch knew that this was going to be a dysfunctional gathering but it seemed he had underestimated just how dysfunctional it was going to be.

"And you Atalanta?" Zelretch turned to face the Greek heroin, who had kept quite till now.

"I accept for now and I am going to say this, 'This is going to be a giant clusterf**k for all involved.'" Atalanta replied.

"I…I don't know how you were even able to censor that." Zelretch commented.

"How rude! Even I know better than to curse in front of a child." Atalanta replied giving him a scandalous look.

Shrugging Zelretch turn to Shirou who was being pampered by Brynhildr, Tamamo, Okita and Medea, the boy seemed to get along with them well enough.

"Okay than, now that everyone has accepted being the boy's familiar. I shall begin explaining the situation in full and list out the details of do's and don'ts and what to expect of your existence." Zelretch said and then began to explain the situation and also about Shirou's future as his apprentice and about what they should expect about Shirou's role as his apprentice.

Now Zelretch did some not so subtle scan on the girls and women present and had discovered that they were merely copies of the real deal, which brought some relief as Zelretch did not know what would have happened if the real deals were summoned. Would the throne fill the gap caused by the missing heroes? Or would it send other heroes to retrieve them? Would Alaya and Gaia finally work together even if it was to exterminate the heroes? Or just send their dogs and let them sort it out via a bloody battle?

While those scenarios seemed quite interesting, Zelretch knew that it would have cause nothing but trouble in the long run, not to mention the paperwork for him as this was something that rightfully fell under his jurisdiction. Zelretch was no stranger to filling out mind numbing paperwork but it was fun to hoist it off one of his poor apprentices and see them fall in despair at the task, and he was currently out of apprentices at the moment.

Getting back to the gathered spirits, Zelretch discovered that they were given a physical shell that while acting like a normal Humanoid Body had enough endurance to channel the full power of the summoned spirits and with surprising efficiency too. Their bodies could also theoretically become stronger with training or by simply draining more prana from Shirou, and they could even astralise too, though that did not lower the prana drain at all, so that ability was simply one for strategic use. They also could no fully defy the laws of physics like breathing in space or underwater and being unaffected by radiation and pressure, though that depended on their endurance and overall physical abilities which would allow for some leeway on that front.

Zelretch also found out that the girls had access to all their Noble Phantasms, and what a collection it was. Only Okita seemed to have the least number of Noble Phantasm among the summoned Heroes but even she had 4 Noble Phantasms which was still quite a lot by regular grail war standards. And well, let's not even get started on the resident King of Heroes and her collection of Noble Phantasms.

He also found out that all of the girls had not only formed a mental link with Shirou but could also use that link to connect with the other girls too. It was telepathic in nature though it did not allow them to read each other thoughts, unless they did it unknowingly that is, which was going to create quite some fun situations.

He could already imagine multiple scenarios and the long term running gags that might pop up with that mental link, especially when Shirou enters puberty and would start to notice girls and their fine features. Shirou was not going to remain dense for long not with the gathered Heroines present as his familiars. Even if they failed Zelretch was going to make sure to break that denseness out of Shirou because damn him if he did not make his student at least notice girls, not when he was a well know womaniser in his youth.

Well that was for later now and Shirou was still some years off before the full brunt of puberty kicked in. In the meantime he was going to have to make sure Shirou got some wild improbable hellish training before the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Zelretch thought of messing with the Fifth Holy Grail War but was finding his interest waning the more he thought about the event, in fact going the HA route for the event would be in the best interest of almost everyone present as their wishes were not something Zelretch could not grant using his Magic, though he did want to see the reactions of the participants and record some of the more interesting meetings but that was that.

Now that Zelretch thought about it in fact abandoning the Holy Grail War altogether and peeking into the possible worlds Shirou usually got flung into during the climax of the war were more interesting than the war itself. The new elements Shirou could bring to these places would be more than enough to make a good entertaining watch.

'But why stop there?' Zelretch thought 'I am going to send him to those places anyways with his familiars, so why don't I send him a bit early see what butterflies he can create on the 'canon' timelines of those places? Alternate Histories are after all quite fun to watch and it would be a good training method too.'

With that in mind Zelretch decided to go with that method of training and it was close enough to the sink and swim tactic of most shonen heroes went through at least once in their life and well Shirou was shonen enough to qualify for such training, even though he was in the Moonlit world of Fate.

'Well now that the girls have agreed to become Shirou's familiars, I can now concentrate on how to convince Emiya to grant me the permission to let me take his son as my apprentice and not get snipe by his 'Origin Bullets' in the near future.' Say what you will about the man himself, the fact that there was a possible Heroic Spirit of him running around made Zelretch all the more wary of the living one.

After all, as Gilgamesh had said 'The fake will always be inferior to the original.'

While Zelretch could easily kill Emiya with a thought, he had lived long enough and seen beings easily brought down by mortals who had the right tools and the right mind set to use those tools, which Emiya had in spades. So no, he was not going to let his guard down against that man.

"This is going to end in bullets, bombs and tears." Zelretch said dreading the upcoming meeting with Emiya.

'Maybe if get Illya he might not be so inclined to shoot me every time I pop in.' Zelretch thought as he tried to think of some possible solutions. 'And Ruby was complaining about not finding a good master and Illya was making good progress as one in another timeline, so that is a viable solution. If nothing else, I would at least get to see a nice touching scene between father and daughter. Not to mention the big sister routine Illya would bring on the table.'

With plans churning in the depths of his mind Zelretch kept on observing how his soon to be apprentice was interacting with his familiars. Fun times were ahead of him , lots and lots of fun times.

"…Let go of young master, witch." Brynhildr said trying to get Shirou out of Tamamo's grasp.

"No way am I handing him to a shota-con like you, Valkyrie." Tamamo replied, as she smothered Shirou with her breasts

"I don't know what that even means!" Brynhildr shouted at the infuriating nickname that Tamamo had given her. Whatever it was it sounded mean and knowing the fox, perverted even, which she was not, in the slightest. She…she was just simply bit enthusiastic in her pursuits of her interests she was not perverted at all, honest.

"…Okita thinks we are going to spend a lot of time protecting master from those two." The pink haired swordswoman said as she witnessed the byplay.

"I…I cannot believe I am agreeing to such a statement. Is she really an aspect of the counterpart of my grandfather Helios?" Medea asked trying to reconcile the image of the Sun Goddess and the Fox-Avatar.

"Yes and the other is the daughter of Odin to boot too, poor master, may Lady Artemis protect him." Atalanta prayed, already familiar with Tamamo's antics after running into her in the Throne.

"Isn't she the goddess of maidens? I don't think she would give Shirou much thought. Though on the other hand while I am no goddess, I am a moon based magical girl so you can count on me to keep him safe. Even if it is to enjoy his the delicious food he makes." Arcueid said reassuring the others, she was not going to let her cook die so easily.

"Do remember to save some for me Arcueid." Artoria said giddy at the prospect of delicious food.

"Yes, do save some for the poor English woman, I hear their food is terrible not unlike the French Cuisine my country has." Jeanne snipped

"Are you seriously going to keep on provoking me like this Jeanne?!" Artoria said gritting her teeth at the insult, her country's food was not that bad.

"Yes, it is after all my legend to create trouble for your countrymen, not to mention I get to re-enact a scene that is dear to my heart. Our roles and origins are simply tailored made for it to boot too." Jeanne said with a beaming smile on her face.

Off to the side Schatach and Gilgamesh simply sat there watching the scene with amused smiles and glasses of wine in their hands. They seem to have the right idea of what to do in the situation; sit back and watch the fireworks.

'Well at least things won't be dull at the very least.' Zelretch commented joining the two queens in their drinking session.

It was really a fun way to spend the night.

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AN: A short one but well I wanted to see how I did for this chapter and the reaction to the characterisations I am going with. Now some of the Heroic spirits are OOC I will admit but well with Throne memories in play their characters are going to be a bit different, though I will try not to deviate much.

Also you have seen what Zelretch plans and well I want to ask you guys which of the worlds below do you want Shirou to be thrown as 'Training'?

High school DxD

Campione!

Fairy Tail

Negima!

Fairly low key and each universe would be way before cannon timeline like Zelretch wants, so what are your thoughts.

Anyways give your suggestions and comments on the chapter in the reviews, till next time Tale master signing out.