Authors Note: Okay guys, the deal with this fic. I wrote it over the summer and it actually came out decently good. I posted the first chapter forever ago and meant to type out the rest (I believe there were 6) Wellll….I came back to type and my mom threw the whole thing away. Grrr to her!! I haven't gotten around to rewrite it but heres the second chapter. I don't like it much at all, I think its pretty out of character but I decided to post it and see what you all think. So with that said, read on and leave reviews!!

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the late, GREAT Jonathan Larson



Mark holds Rogers hand in his for what seems like hours. When he's sure that he is asleep he gets up and, realizing he is still in a towel gets dressed. Mark walks the loft in awe. 'How could this have happened? Mimi wasn't supposed to die, she needed to be here, she made Roger happy.'

'I can't believe this family must die'

The words echo in his head. That seems the fate of this family lately. Roger, Collins and him are now the only ones left in the city. He lays down on the couch and falls asleep as his head hits the pillow.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Mark wakes up to find Roger on the table, sitting Indian style, strumming at his guitar.

"Hey Roge"

"Hey..."

"How are you?"

"How do you think I am? Well, lets see, my girlfriend just got killed, but I'm fine."

Knowing the Roger is upset and he shouldn't push it.

"okay Roge, I'll be in my room if you need me."

Mark walks into his room and quickly shuts the door. Without even realizing it, he drops to the floor and pulls out a shoebox from under his bed. He opens it and starts looking through the hundreds of photographs there. Taken during his 35mm phase. There are so many of Mimi and Roger. They both look so happy. Mark continues to look through the pictures, each one making his heart ache more than the one before. Looking more closely, he notices something strange about Rogers eyes. In every picture, it seems as though Roger is distant. His eyes seem to be missing something, like they're empty. He shakes the thought out of this brain and continues looking through. He finally breaks down and cries, something he didn't want to do it front of Roger. The tears keep flowing and he can't get them to stop. He's not just crying for Mimi anymore, he's crying for every member of that family. There is a light tap on his door.

"Mark, can I talk to you?"

Frantically wiping at his eyes. "Of course Roger, come on it"

"Hey. Listen, sorry about the attitude back there, you don't deserve that. It's just-oh Mark, it's all my fault!" Roger breaks down into tears again and Mark runs to his side.

"It's not you're fault! How could it be?" pure confusion is evident on Marks face.

"She was upset when she left the house, we had talked and she was upset. She must have been upset while she was driving. If it wasn't for me, she would be at work right now, safe and sound."

Mark is still confused but decides not to push the subject of the talk right now.

"Roger, it's not your fault. It was her time. Let me go make you some warm tea and try to get some more sleep."

"I don't want any fucking tea. God Mark. I'm trying to tell you something, you couldn't be doing a better job of pushing me away you ass!"

Mark decides to shut up and listen. He didn't like seeing Roger like this, it scared him.

Roger takes a breathe and keeps going. "I broke up with her."

"You what?! Why?"

"Shut up Mark. I told her I didn't love her anymore, not the way she loved me. She knew, I think she knew before I did I was just in denial. God I was so stupid. I didn't even see it when it was right there, right under my face."

Roger is looking past Mark now, staring off into space talking to what seems like nobody at all. He suddenly looks back at Mark and for the first time ever, fear is in his eyes. Mark is shocked. He's never seen that look before. Not when April died, not when he was diagnosed, not even when he had to live his life without the drugs.

"I told her.." He pauses and closes his eyes. One single tear escapes down his cheek. "I told her that I'm on love with you."

Mark practically falls backwards. Roger opens his eyes to see Mark blinking furiously at him. Avoiding Rogers eyes.

"You what?"

Roger begins to frantically try to defend himself.

"I told her what I've known for a long time. I love you Mark. You helped me through my withdrawl, through April, you're always here for me and I love you for it."

Mark stands up and starts pacing back and forth. He keeps his eyes to the ground as he speaks.

"No, take it back Roger, you don't mean that. Take it back right now."

Roger looks at him confused.

"Mark, I can't. It's how I feel."

Marks head shoots up at Roger.

"No its not. You're girlfriend just died, you're vulnerable. You don't love me, you're not gay. IM not gay. Take it back Roger and I'll forget it ever happened."

"I can't take it back Mark and I don't want to. I know my girlfriend just died, and I know it's my fault but that doesn't change this. It doesn't change how I feel."

Marks mind suddenly goes back to a while ago looking at those pictures. Rogers eyes…the distant look in them. 'What I've known for a long time.' The words repeat in his head. He rushes for the door. Roger grabs his arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Away."

With that Mark grabs his coat and runs out the door. Roger runs out to the kitchen and stops staring at the table. For the first time since he's moved in there, Marks gone, but his camera is left on the table.