Connor felt a burning sensation sear through his back. He opened his eyes to find himself in a fiery cavern with a black expanse instead of a ceiling stretching out above him. He scrambled to his feet gripping tightly to his stuffed giraffe, his eyes darting round in fear at the empty furnace.
He'd seen the pictures, he'd heard the stories, but nothing anybody said could have prepared him for his first visit to hell. His bare feet felt painful as they made contact with the red hot floor and beads of sweat were forming on his forehead.
Connor jumped as he heard a sudden cackling behind him and spun around to see where the noise was coming from. He was so confused, just moments before he'd been safe in his bed but now he was surrounded by jets of fire. A terrifying face appeared before him and he screamed as a skeletal figure came close into his face.
The demon raised a finger to its lips and all sounds stopped coming from Connor's open and screaming mouth. The demon sneered and Connor watched in horror as fire came out of its hands and disintegrated the giraffe that had been acting as his safety net.
Connor now felt vulnerable and extremely frightened, he shut his eyes tight willing for the horrible vision to disappear. He could feel the heat so close to his face, singing the ends of his hair. Tears escaped from beneath his eyelids and he shuddered in fear as he heard more and more demons laughing. Laughing at his pain.
The next thing Connor knew he could hear himself screaming again and the demon's hands were on him and they were forcing him down and down and down. He snapped his eyes open and came face to face with his mother. He stopped screaming abruptly and looked around.
He was safe in his own bed, there was his giraffe next to him and there was sun and early morning light streaming through the window. His mother was gently stroking his hair and making soothing shhing sounds. He was breathing heavily but he felt calm.
"Did you have a bad dream sweetie?" she said softly. Connor nodded finding comfort in her concerned eyes.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Connor shook his head and fixed his gaze on the ceiling. He felt churned up inside as he vividly remembered the nightmare from moments before. His mother smiled reassuringly at him. "It's ok honey, you can tell me"
"I was…I was…" Connor whispered quietly causing his mother to lean in closer to him, "I was in hell".
His mother's lips suddenly pursed slightly and she stopped stroking his hair. Connor felt his voice crack as he tried to keep talking. "I was so scared mom, there were demons and fire and-"
"That's enough!" his mother's eyes were suddenly sharp with intensity for a few seconds before she relapsed and drew her son close to her. She allowed him to cry into her shoulder as she rubbed circles into his back. She kissed his soft hair and whispered 'there there' her eyes closed and her brow furrowed.
"You need to get ready for school or you'll miss the bus" she said simply in an unreadable tone before leaving Connor alone.
"It was just a little nightmare" Mrs McKinley said while laying some eggs on her husband's plate, "Absolutely nothing to worry about"
"It was a Hell dream"
"We can't be certain" she said leaning forward so her hair concealed her face, she didn't want him to see her just now.
"From what you said it sounded like a Hell dream to me"
"Either way it doesn't mean anything"
"It means he's displeased Heavenly Father"
"Or thinks he has"
"Either way, the boy's guilty about something and we need to find out what"
"It's probably nothing"
"Was it nothing when Ruth had a Hell dream and then the next day a $20 bill mysteriously found its way back to my wallet? It may be nothing to worry about but the thing is it's something and I'm determined to find out what"
"Hello sweetie, what would you like for breakfast?" Connor was dressed for school carrying his rucksack and waiting in the doorway. He was wondering how long it would take before his parents would notice he was there.
He quietly shook his head, holding on tight to the straps of his pink rucksack.
"How about pancakes?" she asked smiling but receiving no answer, "Connor dear, I'm trying but there's only so much patience I can give you. You had a bad dream but it's morning now and you need breakfast so you can concentrate at school"
Connor silently allowed her to serve him a stack of pancakes which he obediently worked his way through. She bustled him out on to the curb and left him there to wait for the bus.
Connor's stop was one of the last on the bus route so he always had the unfortunate task of asking someone to move over so he could sit. The bus pulled up beside him and he took a quick scan to find a free seat. As usual there were no doubles left.
He was about to ask a girl in his year to move over when he spotted a familiar shock of sandy hair.
He heart sped up a little as he made eye contact and he gave an awkward half wave. He was almost expecting Steve to ignore him so he was surprised when the boy gestured for him to sit with him.
Connor beamed at Steve resting his rucksack on his knees. "Hi"
"Hey" Steve replied nervously, "Umm, you look terrible did you know that?"
Connor realised he must do. He still had a dressing covering half his face and a bruise was spreading out from beneath it, but Steve was probably noticing the dark circles under his eyes signifying hardly any sleep.
"So do you" Connor replied light heartedly referring to the bigger bandage that graced Steve's face, "I just didn't sleep well last night is all"
"Uh ok, I just wanted to talk to you"
"For real this time?"
Steve smiled guiltily at the optimistic expression on Connor's face. "Uh yeah, for real this time. I just wanted to say sorry for, you know…" He trailed off struggling to find the words.
"It's ok, I know you didn't mean to"
"No that's the thing, I did. I did mean to. I wanted to hurt you but now…I feel terrible"
Connor shrugged. "We all make mistakes"
"You're seriously going to forgive me just like that?" Steve scrutinised Connor closely, it would be hard to find a single bad vein in the boy's gentle body.
"I don't want you to feel bad"
"Why? Everybody wants to make me feel bad"
"I like you"
"But why?" Steve insisted, "Nobody likes me. No one!"
"I do"
Steve felt like hitting him again, he was just so infuriating. He avoided his gaze by staring out the window until they reached school.
"I'll see you in French" Connor said cheerily.
"You're in my French class"
"Yeah, I sit up front, you should join me"
"No I don't think so"
"Why not?"
"I like to distance myself from teachers"
Connor smiled anyway. "I guess I'll see you at lunch then. Same place huh?" he grinned then winced at the pain it caused in his nose. A pang of guilt went through Steve as he remembered vividly the actions which caused it.
"Pop quiz!"
Steve joined the class in groaning as their teacher Madame Ashbeck went round distributing paper.
"Just a quick vocab test" She said brightly, ignoring the protests that were coming her way. "I'll be easy on you, we'll do French into English.
Like that would make much difference Steve thought. He could never do French and he always failed these things. He didn't see the point in even studying, he didn't want to go to France.
As he expected, Steve couldn't remember a single word that Madame Ashbeck was reading out to the class. It sounded like she was speaking in tongues. She collected in the papers and then set them to do a brief translation before she handed back the tests.
"Disappointing Steve, please pay attention when we go through the answers"
Steve watched her move back behind her desk, noticing some familiar red hair near the front as she passed. He stared at the back of the head, it had to be Connor, it couldn't be anyone else. He tried to remember noticing him there before in the last week.
"A near perfect score Connor!" Steve rolled his eyes as he saw his teacher pass Connor's paper back, "Listen up for the word you missed ok?"
Madame Ashbeck asked Connor to read through the list of words pausing to let those who'd made mistakes write them down. He reached a spot about half way down the list and stopped.
"This is the one I got wrong miss" He looked up expectantly.
"Lets hand it over to the class then shall we? Number seven, amour. Anyone? Don't make me pick"
There were a few titters from the girls but the class remained silent. "James? Would you like to take a guess?"
"Er…hope?" he guessed vaguely.
"Kevin what about you?"
"Cheese?" he tried. A ripple of laughter passed across the room causing their teacher to frown.
"You don't always have to spend your time trying to amuse everybody Kevin. Surely someone must know? We only did this last week!"
Steve squinted at the board reading the word over and over in his head. Amour amour amour. He was sure it looked familiar.
"Love?" He hazarded quietly. Madame Ashbeck raised her eyebrows at him and he sunk a bit lower in his chair. He should've just stayed quiet.
"What was that Steve?"
"Um…I think it's love?" He said uncertainly, catching Connor's eye as he said it. Connor smiled back at him and he felt a strange sense of…pride? Was that it? Whatever it was the sensation was new, he found himself caring that he got this word right, maybe just for Connor's sake.
"That's correct Steve. Well done" she spoke slowly as if still not quite believing it, "If you didn't get love you better all copy that down"
The lesson carried on uneventfully and Steve was glad for the bell despite his new found French talent, which he wasn't sure would roll over into his next period of French.
His next lesson was maths so he could definitely afford to be late, he strolled leisurely through the hall swinging his backpack smiling at himself. For the first time he'd answered a question right in French. He didn't really care though, right? He stopped walking for a moment. Love? What kind of a boy knew the word for love? Apparently him.
He shook it off thinking it must have gone into his head the previous week while he was day dreaming. Or maybe it was in a movie. He was about to set off again with a renewed assuredness when he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"I know I'm late I was just…oh Connor hi"
"Hi"
"Hi"
"Hi?"
"What do you want Connor?"
"Oh I have maths and I can't remember where it is. Can you show me?"
Did he really have all these classes with Connor? How could he not have noticed? Then Steve remembered that all he did most classes was look out the window at the sprinklers. Still…
"Wait, have you been following me since we got out of French?"
Connor blushed and looked down in a vane attempt to hide it. "Sorry"
"Connor you can talk to me. I promise I won't punch you again"
Steve laughed awkwardly and Connor flinched. Steve tried to uncover what was going on behind those perpetually bright eyes and persistent smile but, all he could see were some shining blue eyes. He suddenly had a desire to find out everything about Connor. Everything he could and he didn't even understand why.
"Hey uh, Maths isn't really that important. Why don't we just go and hang out somewhere?"
"Please don't say behind the science labs, I don't have too many happy memories of that place" He laughed softly.
"No no" Steve returned the laugh almost reluctantly, "And uh sorry again about…"
"It's fine, trust me"
"Ok, sure" Steve led Connor outside to the place where they had recess and the pair perched on a set of swings, "They can't see us from this angle, we'll be safe unless someone comes looking"
Connor nodded and Steve was almost alarmed at the complete amount of trust Connor gave him. They both twisted round, their feet scuffing the dust while Steve thought of something to say.
"So…you're new here right?"
"Just moved. Colorado"
"How come?"
"My parents wanted to be closer to people of our religion"
"What are you?"
"Mormon"
Steve snorted. "That crazy polygamist cult?"
Connor stopped swinging and turned to Steve with a serious expression. Steve stopped as well looking at him surprise.
"Sorry, I didn't mean-"
"It's everything I know"
"Seriously?"
Connor nodded profusely. "Yes, and when I'm nineteen I get to go on a mission and let everybody else know too"
"Why don't you start right now?"
"What?"
"Tell me about it. Go on. Convince me to become a Mormon"
Connor gave Steve a side eye realising that he wasn't being completely serious but willing to play along anyway.
"Ok well there's this guy called Joseph Smith and he was visited by this angel Moroni"
"Wait, the angel's name was moron?"
"Moroni" Connor repeated patiently.
"Ok carry on"
"Moroni told Joseph Smith to dig up these plates made of gold-"
"Boooooring!"
"It's not boring, my mom used to tell me these stories before I went to bed"
"So they sent you to sleep?"
"That's not what I meant"
"Do you want to hear about my religion Connor?"
"Yes please"
Steve looked to the sky and gestured to it dramatically. "You see that? Sky. That's it. No God. Just sky"
"I don't understand. How can you not believe in God?"
"I have my reasons. I don't question your religion, don't question mine"
Connor kicked up some dirt with his feet and then began swinging slowly. "Steve?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think we'll get in trouble?"
"Probably"
"Do you care?"
"Not really. Do you?"
"Not if you don't"
Connor felt a drop of rain fall squarely on his head and he looked up to the sky as more droplets began to fall.
"We should go back inside" Connor leapt off the swing and started to make his way back round to the school entrance.
"No!" Steve ran after him and pulled him back, "Someone will see us"
The rain was getting heavier and both of them now had their hair plastered to their foreheads by the down pour.
"We'll get wet"
"Then we'll find some shelter" Steve said desperately.
"Where?" Connor could only see an expanse of playing fields and buildings. It was now clear that this was no light shower. Their clothes were quickly becoming soaked and it was already becoming hard to make out objects a few feet away.
"There's a store shed where they keep the baseball gear, come on!" Steve began to sprint away in the direction of the playing field leaving Connor disorientated behind.
"Steve! I can't see, where are you?"
Steve emerged through the rain again, grabbed Connor's hand and dragged him towards the shed. "Keep up!" he shouted above the noise of the thunder that was beginning to break overhead.
They stumbled their way into the shed, which thankfully was unlocked and collapsed onto the floor against the door.
"You ok?" Steve asked Connor noticing the boy's heavy breathing.
"Yeah I'm fine" he managed in between breaths.
"So as we were saying" he grinned at Connor who joined in the laughter.
"Do you want me to carry on talking about Mormons?"
"No no lets leave that for another time. Tell me about you"
"I'm not a very interesting person" he smiled shyly avoiding Steve's gaze.
"I think you are and I want to hear it from you" Steve squeezed Connor's hand encouragingly then immediately retracted it as he realised he was still holding it from their run in the rain.
"I like to dance"
"You dance?"
"Yeah, tap mostly"
"You should show me sometime"
"I'm not very good"
"Listen, if you're going to keep saying how you're not good at something or not worth half the things you do, I might have to stop being your friend"
"You're my friend?"
"Hey we just skipped class together, I think that makes you my friend"
Steve looked at Connor almost certain he could see a few tears brimming there and he didn't want to be left with the boy crying. "So drama club huh? Is that…fun?"
"Yeah, it's a place where I can be myself"
"What show are you doing?" Steve was trying to remain interested. The truth was he tried to steer clear of those drama geeks as much as possible.
"We're doing A Midsummer Night's Dream, they haven't cast it yet but I'm hoping I'll get a fairy or something"
"A fairy?"
"Oh they're not that kind of fairy, they're different, not the sparkly wand waving fairies most people think about. It's hard to explain, maybe you could come and see the show? I know it's a long time off"
"I'll come if you're in it" Steve wasn't sure where these strangely comforting words were coming from, or why Connor seemed to ease them out of him. All he knew was that he now desperately wanted Connor to be cast in this stupid show so that he could go and watch him in it.
Connor told Steve about his family and all his sisters. Steve told Connor how he was an only child. Connor told Steve about his life in Colorado, about his Mormonism, but not too much, and his passion for forties cinema and fashion. Steve told Connor how his dad pretty much left him to do his own thing so he spent a lot of time sitting in trees in a small wood near where he lived.
Connor thought Steve's life sounded almost perfect, Steve thought Connor's life sounded almost perfect. They talked for ages neither of them noticing the time or realising that the rain had stopped pounding on the roof of the small shed.
