I'll Defend You if You'll Defend Me?
2.
Summary: Becky Jackson is trying to survive high school the best that she can. While Santana Lopez is struggling to accept herself and be proud of the person she has become. Can these two people become friends and help each other succeed?
Pairings: Santana Lopez and Becky Jackson. Other pairings: Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez. Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez. Also other characters have small parts.
It's important to note, that I do not have Down syndrome, but I am "different". I know what it feels like to feel unworthy at time and like no matter what I try to do it's useless.
I hope you enjoy!
~ Santana ~
The rest of the week flew by. And like I promised, I texted Becky to get her address. She seemed excited. That felt good to me because I felt like my friends didn't appreciate me and were all too willing to cast me aside in favor of doing something else. I thought, sometimes, that they were talking behind my back. All of these things are just thoughts and not truths.
Saturday morning I got up and went downstairs for breakfast.
"Good morning, mija," my mother said, "You're up early. Um, why?"
She chuckled.
"I have plans with a friend for lunch and I am picking her up. I don't want to be late," I said honestly.
"Oh, that's nice, who's the new friend?"
"Becky Jackson, she on the squad with me…" I replied.
"Does she have Down syndrome," she asked.
I nodded my head.
"That's awfully nice of you. May I ask who asked you to befriend her?"
I looked up at my mother with a shocked expression on my face and said, "No one, Mom. Geez, I know I'm not the world's greatest person, but c'mon."
My mother got quiet which meant that she realized she made a mistake.
"I'm sorry, Santana, I just assumed," she said apologetically.
"You know what happens when you assume, right?" I said and half smiled.
"Yes, honey, I do," she replied and smiled.
"Good," I said and grabbed an apple.
I'm gonna eat this upstairs and then get ready," I said as I retreated upstairs to my room.
I heard the doorbell ring, but thought nothing of it. I continued to eat my apple until I heard a soft knock against my door.
"Come in?"
"Hi, San," Quinn said as she stood in front of me.
I looked at her with a confused expression on my face.
"What are you doing here?"
"We go out to eat every Saturday, you know that," Quinn replied meekly.
"Well, I can't today, I gots plans," I said and turned around to face my closet.
"With who," she asked.
"Becky Jackson," I replied.
"Are you replacing me with Jackson," Quinn asked snidely.
"Um, no, I am not. But I thought you wanted out," I asked as I continued to face my closet.
"And what gave you that idea?"
"Um, well let's see…we had the argument on Monday and today's Saturday. It seems like you needed those few days in between to figure out if I was worthy enough to still be your friend," I replied with a choked up voice.
"Stop being so dramatic," she scoffed.
"God! I'm so tired of making my friendships top priorities in my life when my friends don't do the same for me," I screamed.
"Okay, hold on, a minute. I came here to apologize to you," Quinn said and held up her hands.
I turned around and faced her.
"For what? I know, but I want to hear you say it," I said and crossed my arms against my chest.
"Trying to make you do something life changing when you weren't completely ready to. It was unfair of me. It also wasn't my place to do so. Santana, I hope that you can forgive me?" she asked as she walked over to me and tried to break the position I was in.
I guess she thought that I'd break easily. She thought that she'd be automatically forgiven. I stood my ground.
"I…I gotta go," I said as I noticed the time.
"Oh, we weren't done, though," she said.
"For right now, yea, we're done. I'll call you later, k?"
I didn't wait for an answer as I ran past her and out to my car. I left a bewildered Quinn Fabray standing in my room.
And it felt pretty good.
~ Becky ~
At ten to 11, I started to get nervous as I peered out of my living room window.
"She's not coming!" I whispered to myself. Then minutes later, I whispered, "She changed her mind!"
As I started to trudge upstairs to my room, I heard a car horn blast from outside. I whipped around as carefully as I could because I was on the stairs and literally ran out of the house, slamming the door behind me.
As I walked out of the house, I saw her get out of her convertible and walk towards me.
"Hey, you," she said and opened her arms for a hug.
"Santana," I asked shocked.
"Yes," she laughed, "it's me."
I hugged her apprehensively.
"It's okay, Becky, I'm not going to bite," she said honestly and laughed.
I smiled.
"Your chariot awaits," she said as she led me to her car.
"Nice wheels," I admired with a grin.
"A present from my Daddy. I don't know why and frankly I don't care," she said and smiled.
Once we both got in and fastened our seatbelts, I asked, "Where we heading?"
"Well, since Breadstix doesn't open for lunch, I thought we'd go to Friendly's. Is that cool?"
"Awesome, I feel like ice cream!" I exclaimed and clapped my hands.
"Coolness," she said and then continued, "I'm sorry I was a little late. I had Quinn in my room apologizing…"
"What'd she do?"
"Something that she shouldn't have even thought of doing. I'll tell you more, but for right now I want to concentrate on driving, if that's cool with you?"
"Sure," I replied and she smiled. Then she turned on the radio. She sang and I bobbed my head.
"Do you sing?" she asked.
"Yes, I do. Now ask me if I sing well…"
"Do you sing well, Becky?"
"Um, that would be no," I said and smiled.
She chuckled. "You're probably fine."
I just smiled at the compliment.
In a few more minutes we got to Friendly's and went in. We were seated immediately.
"Don't tell Coach, but I'm having French fries…" I said eagerly as I looked at the menu.
"Go for it. Anything you want you get, okay?"
"Don't tempt me," I said.
She chuckled.
We placed our order of two cheeseburgers with fries and two root beers.
Once the waitress walked away Santana said, "Thank you for your note. It meant a lot."
"Yeah, I wanted to both apologize and thank you in person," I said as I looked into her eyes and pushed up my glasses.
"You have nothing to apologize for…" she said.
"I ran away," I said and looked down.
"Jackson, look at me," Santana asked.
I looked up and she smiled so I smiled. "Becky, you were caught off guard. That's happens to everyone."
"Has it happened to you?" I asked shyly.
"Of course," she started, "and I have a feeling it'll be happening more and more in the near future."
"Why's that?"
"Well," she looked down at her hands, "You know that I'm gay, right?"
Instead of answering her question, I asked, "You know I have Down syndrome?"
She smiled because we both knew the answers.
"And you're okay with that?" she asked.
"I should ask you the same question," I replied.
"Absolutely," she said quickly.
"Then it's all good with me too," I said.
"Wow," she realized.
"What's up?"
"You're the first person I came out to and look," she said as she touched her face, arms, and legs, "I'm still alive!"
"Haha," I laughed and smiled.
"Hey," she teased.
"Sorry, but now you know that it'll be okay no matter what. Does that make it easier?" I asked.
"Yes and no…" she said and looked down.
"Huh?"
"Now I can tell my close friends, like Quinn, who probably knows anyhow. But I'm still scared to tell anyone else," she admitted.
"And that's totally normal," I said assuredly.
"I just want to wake up and be out. Not have to worry about anything, ya know?"
"Yes, but unfortunately that's not a possibility. I wish that I'd go to bed and wake up and not have this!" I said as I motioned up and down my body with my hand.
"Yeah, but then you wouldn't be Becky Jackson…"
"And you would be a different Santana Lopez. One that didn't push herself to try, you know?"
"I see your point. So, what do we do," she asked.
"We do the only thing we can do. Be the best people possible. No one's perfect," I said and smiled.
"That's comforting," she said and sighed.
"Isn't it?" I asked as I bit off a piece of French fry since our food arrived.
"How do you know all of this?"
"I'm just a genius, I guess!" I said and laughed.
She laughed too.
"Listen, Santana, I don't have a filter so when I have a thought whether it's appropriate or not, it's gonna come out of my mouth. I hope, in the future, that doesn't annoy you or anything," I said honestly.
"I wish that I had that! I'm too afraid of what other people might think of me. And that's my problem. That's the reason why it makes coming out so darn hard," she said.
"Nothing's the end of the world except the end of the world…"
She looked up from her burger and smiled widely. "That makes a lot of sense actually. Thank you."
"I try."
Then I bit into my burger. "God this is good," I exclaimed with a mouth full of food.
"Tell me about it. Can't wait for ice cream," she said and smiled. Then she got quiet as she thought.
"Hey, Becky," she asked.
"Whazzup?"
She smirked.
"I'd like you to come back to my house because I could use your help with something."
"What is it?" I asked amazed.
"I'm going to come out to Quinn and Brittany today," she said proudly.
"Does it have to be today," I asked.
"Oh can you not come back with me," she asked hesitantly.
"Oh, no, no, that's not it. I meant that you're getting used to this. You sure you wanna do this?"
"No time like the present, right?"
"Exactly! I'm gonna text my Mom to let her know," I said as I whipped out my cell phone to text my mother.
~ Santana ~
While Becky texted her mother, I created a text message to Quinn and Brittany.
TO QUINN AND BRITTANY: Please come to my house at 2. I have something to tell you. ~ S.
Within a minute, Brittany texted back, "Sure. R we okay?"
I didn't answer her.
Ten minutes had past and we were enjoying our sundaes. I hadn't received a response from Quinn. I guess it was okay.
When the check came I snatched it up quickly.
"Santana," she whined, "Are you sure?"
"Next time, we go to Breadstix, it's on you, deal?" she said and smiled.
"Definitely a deal!"
We paid and left.
We drove to her house in silence. It was a comfortable silence so that was nice. When we walked into her house, I called out, "Mami, I'm home and Becky's with me."
"In the kitchen," she responded.
As we walked into the room, I said, "Brittany will be coming over at two-ish and I don't know about Quinn cuz she never answered me."
I wasn't paying attention so when I looked up I realized that Quinn was there. She was sitting down at the kitchen table with a coffee cup in front of her.
"That explains no text from you. Did you stay the whole time," I asked.
She nodded.
Then Becky coughed.
"Oh, my, I'm sorry. Mom, this is Becky Jackson. She's on the Cheerios with us. And you know Quinn."
Becky walked up to my Mom and shot her hand out for a handshake. "Hello, Mrs. Lopez. It's nice to meet you."
"Hi, Becky, call me Maribel…Did you have a nice time?"
"Yes, Maribel, we did. You have an amazing daughter!"
"Eh, she's okay," my Mom teased.
"Mom," I yelled and faked being shocked.
Becky smiled.
"Ok, ok, you two upstairs," I demanded.
"Sir, yes, sir," Becky said and saluted me.
I smiled brightly.
"Mom, Britt will show herself in, I'm sure," I said as the three of us went upstairs.
As we walked back to the front door to go upstairs it flew open and Brittany walked right in and slammed it shut.
"Geez, Brittany, I'm so surprised we haven't had to get a new door," my Mom said authoritatively.
"Sorry, Mrs. L." Brittany said as she climbed the stairs with us.
Once we all were inside my room, I shut the door.
They all took their shoes off and plopped onto my bed.
"Okay, thanks for making time for me…"
"Santana," Brittany started to say, but I threw my hand up to stop her. She didn't say anything else.
"I wanted you all here because we are friends," I started, but was interrupted again by Brittany.
"Even Becky…Hi," she said and waved at Becky.
Becky waved back.
"Yes, Britt, even Becky. We just had lunch at Friendly's and I immediately felt comfortable with her. That's why I asked her to come back here…" I said, looked at Becky and smiled. She smiled right back at me.
"I want to tell you both something since you and B are my best friends," I said as I looked at both Quinn and Brittany.
"Just tell us already," Quinn insisted and Becky shot her a look.
I laughed at their interaction.
"San, it'll be okay, whatever it is that you tell us. Trust me," Brittany said comfortingly.
"I'm gay," I blurted out then.
Quinn and Brittany looked at me, and then looked at each other, and then back me.
"Someone say…something!" I begged.
"It's about time," Quinn said and smiled.
"Tell me about it, Q." Brittany said and smiled.
"Wait…you knew?" I asked in shock.
"Well, we didn't really know, but we sensed it for a long time," Quinn offered.
"Yup!" Brittany said.
"And…and you're okay with it," I asked timidly.
"Santana Marie Lopez, are you trippin'?" Brittany asked me.
I smiled.
"Santana, you're our best friend. Of course we're okay with it," Quinn said and smiled.
"What about your Mom, Q?" I asked.
"Are you my friend or my Mom's friend," she asked.
I pointed at her.
"Good that's what I thought. I am not my Mother, Santana," Quinn said and shuddered at the thought.
I laughed out loud.
I ran towards them and they engulfed me into a hug.
"The Unholy Trinity foreva," Brittany said.
~ Becky ~
I was very happy for Santana, and I enjoyed seeing them hug. I thought I'd give them some privacy so I started to get up. When I was totally on my feet, Brittany pulled me into the hug.
"Whoa!" I exclaimed but wrapped my arms around Brittany and Santana.
