5. The Thousand-Year Sewing War

Uryu Ishida gritted his teeth. Standing before him was not only the leader of the Vandenreich, but the entire Stern Ritter group was flanking him from behind. It was a dire situation, not the kind that he could easily fight his way out of, even with the new power he had recently awakened to. Uryu glanced over his shoulder; Ichigo, Rukia, Orihime and Chad were lying on the floor. They weren't dead, thankfully, but they were still far too injured to re-join the fight at this point. It would be some time before the Royal Guard arrived, too.

Uryu knew he had to stall the Vandenreich, and he had just the idea on how to do so. It was a stretch but it was likely these guys shared a few similar quirks with him. It was a 'Quincy thing', basically.

"So..." Uryu put on fake, sheepish grin, "You're the, erm, Emperor of the Vandenreich, correct?"

"I haven't been given a name yet, so that is the title I go under for now." replied the mutton-chopped Quincy.

Uryu looked the man and his many subordinates up and down. "You are all quite well-dressed for a massacre of this size."

"We always like to look our best,"

"Of course, and I don't blame you! But, tell me...where did you buy those cloaks and uniforms?"

"Actually," the Vandenreich Leader sneered, "We made these ourselves."

"What?" Uryu feigned surprise; he already knew from the start that those were hand-crafted outfits. They obviously carried the air of something made by loving human hands, not cold mechanical ones, "Surely you don't expect me to believe that you all designed your outfits. They all look the same!"

"Actually, that is far from the truth. To the untrained eye, it is not immediately obvious, but we have all added our own special, subtle 'tastes' into our uniforms in how we designed them, although they are still based off of the regular Vandenreich uniform. I myself chose to go with the cloak and the ribbon to make myself appear larger and more intimidating. Plus, it matches with my eyes."

"I even made this mask myself, so it's not just fabrics we deal with, either!" added the masked Quincy who had stolen Soifon's Bankai.

"Impressive...but..." Despite this being a very serious, life-or-death situation, Uryu Ishida found himself growing increasingly frustrated with his opponents. Ishida had always prided himself greatly on his talent with a thread and needle, almost at the same level as he prided his Quincy powers. He had spent years and years perfecting his craft, creating more increasingly difficult designs, and always making sure to leave the Quincy cross hidden somewhere on the fabric. It was his favorite hobby. And now, these other Quincies were showing off in front of him, and he didn't like it. His sewing was supposed to be something unmatched.

"But what?"

"But just how well can you design English Victorian-era clothing? For stuffed animals?"

"That was one of our first lessons!" Buzzbee exclaimed. "It was a piece of cake; kid's stuff, honestly!"

"Err...what about floral dresses? Skirts? T-shirts? Bonnets? Scarves? what about repairing fabric that's already been torn apart?"

The Vandenreich Leader sighed. "Is that supposed to be intimidating to sewing experts like ourselves? We have been creating such simple pieces of clothing since the moment we came from our mothers' wombs. Just what sort of low-born breed of Quincy are you playing yourself off as? It's absolutely pathetic. I cannot believe we considered you to be a threat to our plans. Get out of our sight."

Uryu Ishida was absolutely stunned, shaken to the very core of his being. It was like being told his very existence was entirely pointless. He fell onto his hands and knees. All of the sudden, a large wad of blood erupted from between his lips. It was the horror of discovering his inferiority in fashion design that caused the internal injuries.

"These foes...they're just too strong for me..." Uryu wheezed.

"Uryu, you're supposed to fight them! Fight them!" Ichigo called out from the side-lines, but it didn't seem like the bespectacled young man was even listening.