Chapter 2
I sat on my bedroom floor frozen. The rough carpet rubbed against my legs. I gazed at the pale wall like I was transfixed. In reality I was baffled and confused. I was devoid of any emotions. It still didn't seem real. The shock hadn't worn off yet. Even though I knew we weren't supposed to be together, I still believed he'd never leave. I thought he'd always stay and guard Lissa with me, so much for my ridiculous fantasies. My mind replayed Dimitri's words over and over. I broke away and glanced around my messy room. It fortunately wasn't as small as my other fellow novices rooms. I was one of the few girls so I got to choose the room that I fancied. However that did little good, as I didn't have a lot of possessions to begin with, to fill it. Above my desk were two faded pictures stuck haphazardly to the wall. One was of Lissa and I. We were dressed in some ridiculous fairy costume ready to go tricky treating in Portland a year before the guardians had taken us back to the academy. We had no worries back then. We were just two normal high school students. I missed that. The other was of Dimitri and I, we were dressed in our black guardian training gear. Our eyes shone with happiness. Dimitri looked unguarded and open which was rare for him. We competed in a student and mentor competition against other guardians and novices at the academy. Mason and Alberta had been another pair. I was proud to admit be whopped their ass! Mason and I joked around catcalling others who were competing. It was an amusing day. We had won the competition of course. What else could you expect from the fabulous Rose Hathaway and god-like Dimitri Belikov. We were quite the team.
The nalstayia of that day came back. I was so angry and hurt at his words. I believed we had something so pure, so perfect and beautiful. He'd left me rethinking every moment that I ever had with him. My chest felt heavy and my heart ached. Suddenly I jumped up and ran for the bathroom attached to my room. I barley made it in time before I was vomiting aggressively. After it had passed I tried to stand and was shocked at the dizziness and nausea that overcame me. I slid against the wall onto the ground still in a daze. I hadn't been sick for as long as I can remember. It wasn't normal for Dhampirs. Maybe it was just the stress of Dimitri. I eventually stood and headed towards my bed, sinking deep into the soft blankets and pillows. A hollow feeling once again settled in my chest as everything came crashing down. I didn't want to move or eat. So I stayed there all day and even ignored Lissa knocking on the door during lunch. Finally some time after dinner I decided to let Lissa in. If I didn't, she would never stop. She's nothing if not persistent. She strode into my room turning around as she reached the far side near the window. As I turned to look at her, her eyes widened in astonishment. She took in my blood shot eyes and messy hair. Through the bond I could feel that she was worried and confused. Then I felt her let in her magic. She felt music and happiness as the magic swept through her. She brought up my aura. She saw darkness around the edge twisting and churning as though trying to swallow me whole. The colours of red, orange and dark blue were barely visible against the vast darkness surrounding it. The aura showed anger, along side betrayal and sadness. She'd never seen such a dark aura before. She had seen my aura before plenty of times, although usually the darkness contrasted against light colours like red and yellows. Happier colours I realized looking deeper into her mind. Her eyes were drawn instantly to the dark colours first, in that she didn't notice the slight almost invisible tinge of pink surrounding the outer ring of my aura. Confusion once again flashed through her.
"Rose, what happened?" she asked quietly. Empathy and misunderstanding filled her pale features. Through the bond she felt shocked at what could possibly be wrong. She'd never seen me like this before, ever. It was always me comforting her about everything and she'd never seen me this down, this broken before.
I tried to speak. Tried to get the words to come out but they didn't. Tears brimmed in my eyes as I thought about everything that happened. Him leaving me. Him saying he never loved me. It was all too much. I felt like I'd explode. I understood now. Physical pain makes the emotional pain go away. My fingernails dug into my arm hard as I felt the wetness of blood run down my forearm in a constant stream. Her eyes widened in shock for a moment before she quickly stood up and took me into her arms. The small act of comforting me quenched some of the loneness inside me. I let everything out. I sobbed in her chest painfully. I can't do it alone. She reached out and separated my hands stopping me cutting deeper into my arms and just held me. I don't know how long we sat there in each other's arms. I no longer had any more tears to shed. Instead I held my head to her chest and just stared at nothing. She stayed with me past curfew just holding me. I finally told her everything. It just rushed out. My voice sounded hollow as I recounted how Dimitri and I had fallen in love, every passionate kiss and every powerful moment. I described the events that occurred in the Cabin and the gym aloofly. I felt a flutter of questions come to her mind but she didn't voice them. She thought about my aura. Everything she had learnt from Adrian. Suddenly it clicked. Everything came together so quickly I had to concentrate on what she was thinking. She voiced it before I could quite gather what her epiphany was.
" Rose' she said hesitantly, ' are you… are you pregnant?'
It took a while for my brain to catch up.
"What?" I responded sluggishly.
I didn't understand. I mean I couldn't be pregnant could I? No it was impossible. Dhampirs can't have children with other Dhampirs. It was of the concrete rules in our society. It was one of the main worries I had with being with Dimitri. That I was holding him back from a future he wanted. It only happened once with him. Things clicked together quickly. The mood swings and the vomiting. This can't be happening. I didn't even know if I even wanted kids or even could be a mother. I'd not necessarily had the best role model to begin with. Alberta had been more of a mother to me than my own. How was I supposed to raise a child without that knowledge? I pondered what I would do in silence. Lissa asked me questions here and there but I didn't give her much. She still thought it was Adrian's I realized. She too, didn't even ponder of the likely hood of Dimitri being the father as it was stated her whole life that it was impossible. But I knew he was. He was the only one. The only one I've ever been with. I was just so confused and shocked. I worried about what kind of mother I'd be. A part of me was happy that I'd get to have a baby with Dimitri even though he left me. Even though he said he didn't love me. I still loved him. This child would be a part of him. Lissa left close to dawn sneaking back to her own room. I knew she'd get caught. She unlike me wasn't aware where the entire Guardians' patrolled, or even if she somehow could, she was unlikely to get past the lobby of her dorm. I needn't worry about that as I had my own sneaking to do.
I walked out glancing briefly down the hallway. It was empty. I went over to the far side and down to the little door off the side of my building. Luckily I hadn't yet given back Dimitri's keys. Or rather I'd actually convinced Adrian to make me a copy. Of course I'd only use it for the greater good… I sneaked across campus careful to avoid guardians as I made my way over to the clinic. A window to the feeders that I knew was open due to the various feedings I had to attend with Christian. So hanging out with Sparky had finally had a positive outcome for me. Bizarre. I crouched behind a bush and looked inside. Empty. I slowly opened the window careful not to be too loud. Even though the feeding room wasn't open yet, the other parts of the clinic were. I hopped inside and went towards the door on the far side. I couldn't hear anything. I opened it gradually and glanced around. The hallway was clear. I ran across to a door on the far side of the hallway and opened it. It was a supply closet. I looked around until I located what I needed. I grabbed a bunch of the pregnancy tests and stuffed them in my pocket. Okay. I only needed to get out without getting caught. I heard footsteps coming for the door. My door. I swore. I froze and mentally tried to think of an excuse. Dr. Olendzkis voice came closer and I stood immobile. Shit. Just before getting to the door I heard someone yell her name and she turned around swiftly walking back in the direction she'd come. I opened the door hesitantly and distantly heard a voice I recognized. Camille Conta. Her nasally voice drifted through the air, irritation flashed through me. She'd be very involved in the nasty rumors that circulated last year. So yer they were true, but I didn't need the bitch helping them circulate. I wasn't very forgiving. I speedily made my way back to my room. I headed to the bathroom immediately and tried four tests. I mean I had to be sure right. I struggled what my mother would say if I were pregnant. Words flittered my mind as I remembered what she had once said. "You'll never be able to do the job you wish you could, you don't have the life experience for it, you haven't even lived yet'. Well too late mum. All four pregnancy tests sat in my fingers. My eyes immediately were drawn to the tiny pink positive symbols that lay in my hand. Shit.
I hope you enjoy it. I'm not going to do a DPOV until later maybe chapter 7. Please comment. Editing this has made me late to meet a friend at the movies. So i gtg. PS. i hope to post new chapters sooner as i've finished all my assignment for University now.
