Chapter 2 So many questions, so much on my mind So many answers I can't find

Ashley Purdy

I mean, should I be used to Christian Coma crying some nights on tour? He always says it's because of Gerard. Alright, he misses the dude. It seems deeper though. I don't know what been up with him and Gerard. You know, they keep everything a secret. I guess they look happy, but Christian…he's changed since the last time I met him.

He covers something up. How can I tell? I read people; I'm a writer and artist so of course I can easily. Anyway, back to CC…I mean, have you ever noticed him? He's quiet. When he's with us, he fakes everything. He fakes a laugh and smile about Gerard. There's the text message from last night. He lied; he fucking lied to me. What did Gerard Way exactly send though?

Christian sat down with me. I look at my phone. It was 12:46 A.M.; we're still wide awake. "Shit," he whispers. "Sorry, Ashley if I disturbed you from writing."

"It's alright, something's up with you. The band comes first then anything about me." It was the truth. When Jinxx was dealing with issues about him and Sammi, Andy and I dropped even a date for him. "So, is it just missing Gerard?" Christian sighs and nods. Stop lying, and what did he say in that text message? "What did he text you?"

Christian looks to me. He shook his head. "Ashley, our relationship is hard to describe to you or any of the members. That's why I keep it private."

"When," I started. "Just when are you going to open it up? Something's beating you down, Coma. I hate seeing you like this. When we go back home, I can hardly see you. Is that because of Gerard?" Christian looks up. "Look, stop worry about, CC. When we get home from tour, you can be with him. I rather though you come and hang out with us the night when we get back to LA."

"I-I don't know, Ash."

"Gerard going to still be gone," I put an arm around him. "You can stay with me if you need to."

"That's the problem," CC whispers. What's the going on? He's shivering. He's scared when I mention that Gerard is on tour. "Look, Gerard is demanding. He might want me to go on tour with them…"

"He's really protective, isn't he, Chris?" He nods his head. "I'm guessing we should get sleep, shouldn't we?

"Ya, we have a show tomorrow." He gets up. "Thanks, Ashley."

"No problem," I give him a hug. I sat back down though. I grab my laptop. I keep a tab open of twitter just in case I need help. I went to Google. I typed in the first thing off my mind; how do you know your friend is in an abusive relationship. Does it sound so cheap and stupid I think that?

Well, I knew too many people then. When I was in high school, I could have been caught in one. I knew too many girls who were abusive about the way they wanted things. I was the freak of course, but I dated a couple. I got along with a lot, and gosh to I remember Emily. Emily reminds me of Christian to a point. She was in one; she narrowly escaped with her life. If CC is in one with Gerard, I need to help him before it's too late.

I came across a site that helped. All the signs I quickly read over. "No…no…no…he can't be."

"When your friend and her/his partner are together, the partner acts very controlling and puts your friend down in front of other people."

Christian and Gerard were here for a red carpet event. We all brought our dates. I of course had my sweetheart, Andy. Jinxx brought his precious Sammi; Jake had Crystal. Every time you look at Gerard and Christian though, Gee couldn't take his arm off.

Christian just smiles to him there.

Another fucking fake smile; he hates Gerard. Now I see it….

I hardly saw CC that night. I never got a chance to talk to Gerard. I saw them though when we head back to the hotel.

"You fucking bitch," Gee whispered.

"I-I can't!" he whispers out

Gerard just smirks. "Of course, you can't because of Black Veil Brides. If it was my choice, I would take you out of that fucking band."

"CC!" Jinxx calls out, "Come on, buddy. We're heading back to the tour bus."

Gerard death glared him. He ran out of his arms to us.

Now I can't ever forget that moment. I keep reading down the list.

"The partner acts extremely jealous of others who pay attention to your friend."

Gerard came to visit us. Andy and I were paying attention to Christian. We were helping him get ready to see him. Gerard's eyes met us. He mouthed something. "Stay away from him when I am near.

"Your friend becomes quiet when the partner is around and seems afraid of making the partner angry."

Christian, he's like never allowed to speak when Gerard is near. Way always talks to us. CC doesn't even talk to the band mates of Gee's band.

"Your friend stops seeing friends and family members, and becomes more and more isolated."

"….When we get home from tour, you can be with him. I rather though you come and hang out with us the night when we get back to LA."

"I-I don't know, Ash."

"Your friend often has unexplained injuries, or the explanations that are offered don't quite add up. (Sometimes you won't see any bruises, as abusive partners usually target their blows to areas that can be covered with clothing.)"

He must cover the marks. Maybe, just maybe, that's why he wears a lot of war paint.

Dammit Ashley…Dammit why haven't you noticed sooner?

Your friend has casually mentioned the partner's violent behavior but dismisses it as "not a big deal."

Just when are you going to open it up? Something's beating you down, Coma. I hate seeing you like this. When we go back home, I can hardly see you. Is that because of Gerard?" Christian looks up.

I sat there, grabbing my star necklace. Tears softly met my cheek. What if this is right? What if Christian is in an abusive relationship? I heard a soft knock on the door. "Come in," I whispered.

"Oh!" Jinxx came in, "You're still awake?" I automatically closed the one window and open a word document. It was the one before I was working on, before Christian came in…

"Can't really sleep," I whispered.

"Sammi called," He sighs, falling on the couch, relaxing.

I smiled to him, "Everything okay?"

"She needed to her my voice." He chuckles.

I started typing. I look up, "Invite me to the wedding." Jinxx started laughing; I keep a smirk on my face. I look at the time; it was 6 am. Damn, have I been up that late worrying about CC?

"Hey, Ashes," Jinxx sits up. "Have you been suffering insomnia since of you and Andy?"

"A bit, but tonight was totally different." I keep looking at the screen.

Maybe it's just me, or is Christian in an abusive relationship? I love the guy to death, and maybe it just worries him. Tonight, he came in, crying again.

"Boy, you're always fucking writing, Purdy." Jinxx stretched out, "So, why exactly are you up tonight?"

"CC came in, crying again." I saved my document. It was kind of like a journal to me. I have different files though now. Poetry, short stories, chapters…I love to write my feelings and ideas.

"Again?" Jinxx stood up, "Should we tell Andy and Jake?"

I shrugged, "He said it was Gerard. I said missing him. He nodded but then…" I spaced out. Maybe, oh gosh, Ashley, don't think. Don't think; you're totally wrong. You're fucking wrong.

"Ashley?" Jinxx woke me up a bit. "I'll get Jake and Andy, alright? CC pretty crashed out."

I nodded and open the document again.

Why?

Why am I

Just guessing?

The rest

Don't know.

You could be

Alive and awake.

You choose

To hide away.

Tell me,

I won't judge.

Why keep it away?

I saved it and saw Andy and Jake. I closed my laptop. Andy came by me. I miss you so much. I miss our love. I miss us. I smiled to him.

"So, what's be going on with Chris?" Jake said.

I took a deep breathe. "Am I the only one who notices Christian has changed since the last time?"

Jinxx comes in closer, grabbing a chair; Jake was against the wall; Andy was kneeling by me. Andy felt something's bothering me. He still treats me like his boyfriend. "What," Andy spoke up, "do you mean?"

"I'm guessing it's nothing then. Christian became quieter since the year anniversary with him and Gerard. He's changed from the last time we met him. I don't why I have noticed. Maybe this also sounds crazy, but I did a bit of research." I grab Andy's hand; I squeezed it as tight as possible. Can it be anyone but CC?

"Ashley, talk," Jinxx came behind me and places his hand on my shoulder. Jake comes by grabbing my other hand. Andy leans up and kisses my cheek. "Guys, he's terrified."

"Deep breathes, Ashes," Andy said. "It's okay; it's only a guess right?"

"Do you guys think Gerard Way abuses Christian Coma?"

The whole room went silent. "I think we thought of that a long time ago, Ashley."

A/N: Review!

Chapter title: Everybody hurts- Avril Lavigne