Youki – 1. The spiritual energy or life force of a youkai
Kotodama - Translates literally as "spirit words" or "language of soul". Words of power. There are three related studies: Kotomuke "directed words; caused submission through power of words", Kotoage "words raised up, invocation of word magic", and Jumon ""incantation" or "mantra"". Believed that these words of power could in fact manipulate and control objects.
"Everything you can imagine is real." - Pablo Picasso
Chapter One: Pretending
Higurashi Kagome closed her eyes and breathed deeply, determined not to mess up this night, the first night she had been out clubbing with her best friends Yuka and Ayumi in about a year. This was a long-needed break from her studies and duties that she had to perform at her home. She took another breath, steadied herself. Stay calm, act normal, and keep pretending. These were the three cardinal rules she lived her life by, what her grandfather had taught her all her life: "stay calm, act normal, keep pretending". Be calm as though she could not perceive preternatural beings that others could not. Act normally, as though she were not a miko, did not inherit the power to vanquish an old evil, did not invoke gods or banish spirits. Pretend as though, earlier, her grandfather had not urged her to practice her kotodama, urged her to be prepared for any type of possible situation. Kotodama that my friends have never known about.
She leaned against the bar, her arm resting on it's cool surface. The strobe lights overhead shot green and blue beams across the club. The mass of frenzied bodies – tender and young – dancing on the floor had the illusory appearance of flickering in and out of existence as the lights struck them ever so briefly. A mononoke hovered over a grinding couple, it's jealousy hanging in the air. Another coaxed a girl into a corner, gleaning from her sexual favors while it attended to her body. Not good.
Kagome bit her lip and sent out a psychic pulse, scattering the minor ayakashi with her strong spiritual energy. They would be unable to return to the purified area until the remnants of her energy faded completely. That would be weeks from now. There are so many of them out tonight. Is it the vernal equinox tonight? Already? No, mother told me that that was two weeks away... She shivered; she should have been safe by now. Her grandfather had always said that the times were reverting back to the old days. He kept telling her stories of the ancient era of Japan, when the youkai were not only everywhere, but visible to all as well. According to her Gramps, way back during his grandmother's grandfather's time, the youkai and the bakemono did not just appear to humans in the dark, or to humans with psychic strength, but they ran rampant even in the daytime. Nothing, almost nothing had been able to stop them. The emperor had panicked and the small villages undefended prayed to their gods... There had been much devastation then, too many deaths and plagues. That was when all different types of shamans emerged: onmyouji, miko, itako, yamabushi...
There should not have been so many youkai out this season however, these recent years, they have been appearing before mortals more often. It was not just on the equinoxes, moons, eclipses and solstices when they appeared to humans nowadays. And, it had become a real pain in the arse to just be able to handle the recent increase in cases of possession. They [the youkai] were growing more dangerous and the obake more ornery, making the entire process just...
Youkai constantly began popping in and out of her life and causing nothing but mischief for her, seven years ago, when she started her training. Pinching, grabbing, licking, dark chuckles, mutterings, tapping noises at the doors and windows... It was enough to make her go crazy...
Of course, her Grandfather was absolutely thrilled that he had been right about everything and had immediately declared her the heir to the shrine. However, he was a little senile anyway and the amount of cases of possession...well, it was taking a toll on the family. Her mother was suffering from visions and illusions during summers, though she insisted that the delusions were caused by a fever or fatigue or sunstroke. Souta, her little brother, was suffering from frequent nightmares...now, he could not sleep alone at night. When she awoke in the morning, she often found that he had crawled into her bed, trying to gather comfort through the presence of another.
And now...
A tingle spiraled down Kagome's spine. Trouble.
A group of five humanoid youkai, all of them old or powerful, strode into the nightclub confidently. Humans stepped aside instinctively, not even aware that they were making way for them...such was the power of daiyoukai. They soon neared Kagome and her friend, Ayumi, by chance, invisible and nonexistent to everyone else in the club.
One of them, an inugami (dog-god), slid over to Kagome and bent slowly, sniffing loudly around her. His warm breath was making her hair stir. Unearthly amber eyes glowed in the darkness of the club. He smelled of dew in the morning air, of breathing in mountain winds, of running joyously through forests, of laying on grass in the cool shade. A long mane of hair flowed over his shoulders, a cool pewter, like solid mercury. There was a pull, an attraction between him and her. For a mere second, she wondered how it would be to run her fingers through that hair, to be wrapped in that summer warmth. To have those amber eyes upon her all of her days on earth.
Kagome tensed inwardly. He should not have been able to make her feel that way.
"Look at this mortal, Hiten. She's beautiful. She smells of the cherry blossoms floating in the winds during spring," he caressed the poor girl with his long-fingered claws. She worked hard to pretend as if those claws weren't real to her, weren't scaring her, weren't touching her. Don't flinch. And yet, she couldn't ignore the youkai. Especially not this one; it was the youkai that held her hand in her dream.
The one who must be "Hiten" answered, "She resembles too closely that vile, dusty, animated corpse that forever follows you, promising death and deliverance to hell." Kagome found that she could sense what type the youkai was: a male raijuu (thunder-beast) daiyoukai. With maybe a hint of draconic lineage.
Usually, a miko could not tell the specific race of supernatural creatures, even with the proper training of the senses and apprenticeship or years of devotion to honing the art. However, Kagome's powers were different from the other miko of today. Her ability in regards to the others' ability was as a lake is to a puddle; none of the other women had the talent or the sheer amount of power. This was a big reason for her being chosen as the heiress in her family, the one to inherit the shrine duties.
"Hiten, observe how she differs from that pitiable shell of a broken woman. Look at how vibrant her energies are. Pure and innocent." This came from another one, a beautiful female. She wore a beautiful black and blue kimono and carried a fan, numerous white feathers hanging from her earrings. Her wavy ebony hair was styled in a bun. "Inuyasha, it would be advisable to reveal your true self to the girl. Attempt to converse with her. Contract with her."
"Contract? Why? Kagura, I have no desire to be bound into the service of a human wench. Even if the human is a powerful miko." The inugami had made himself known as male and dog from the moment he appeared. "Devouring her would alone satisfy me."He was flaunting his power carelessly; it brushed up against Kagome and simply pressed upon her with unimaginable force.
Kagura sighed tiredly, as though the inugami was just an unruly, overly curious teen aged human boy she was charged with baby-sitting. "The girl could be a descendant of a surviving clan that has retained some of the ancient ways. Or, at the most, an heiress to an old bloodline." Kagura must have lived a long time as she seemed to have mastered concealing her power, unlike the arrogant inugami who was spilling his youki everywhere. "This is what we need, Honorable Hound. She could give us an in with the other shamans. With the monks. We need that. We need humans. Remember, Honored One, there is a war coming. A miko of our own would be of great use to combat the far north mainland's invaders." War? Invaders? Foreign youkai? From Korea or...
The inugami tilted his head, actually considering Kagura's proposition, his canine ears twitching. "Perhaps..."
"Wait... I understand how you perceive this chance happening as opportune, however..." the raijuu, Hiten, muttered, the air around him crackling and laden with friction. "Kagura, the shamans that they possess cannot be considered such anymore. They has become dark and twisted. A hag and countless imitators. Not true shamans." The youkai moved closer; he was probing her aura with his youki. It was like the supernatural version of a power-oriented CAT scan. "Would this girl be capable of equaling their combined power? That is my main concern."
Youki crawled painfully through her veins, like fire eating away at her limbs, lava replacing her blood. Kagome could barely stand it; the sensation felt alarming, disgusting— similar to vivisection. She felt that he was slowly peeling off her skin and then poking through her raw innards while she still had breath in her body. It was all she could do not to run away.
"She would not be able to hear Inuyasha, fools," said another youkai, the most human looking youkai there. "No human can. For the love of the gods. She is merely a human. A little miko."
"No, curse it, there is more than that," the inugami was so close that Kagome could feel his heat radiating in force from his body. "She smells of the old ki."
"So, Ayumi, where's this guy that you told me would be here? I'm anxious to meet him." Kagome gave her friend a shaken smile, pulling her brown leather jacket tighter about her. "I hope he's as hot as you say he is. It might be enough to excuse all of his bad qualities."
Ayumi smiled reassuringly. "He's perfect for you Kagome, don't worry," she said in that soft, whispery voice of hers. Her gentle smiled turned wicked. "Three T's, girl. Tall, tanned and toned. He seems to have a streak of delinquency in him, but he's got a heart of gold and he's really cool. It'll be okay. You'll see."
Ayumi tended to think the best of everyone. It was in her nature to do so. And that was one of the main reasons Kagome was friends with her. Without Ayumi's sunniness Kagome probably would have fallen into a dark pit long ago.
"Well, how'd you meet him?" Don't say job, don't say job, don't say job...
Ayumi beamed, "I met him at my job." Damn it. "While I was working late shift." The fact that Ayumi's career was at a tattoo and piercing shop did not help Kagome's wariness of meeting the guy. For all she knew, the guy could be more of a "delinquent" than Ayumi thought. Ayumi's customers tended to run to adolescent gangsters, dropouts, and certain yakuza groups. "He was getting tribal tattoos of jagged claw marks on each of his shoulders." Oh, he definitely sounded yakuza. Kagome had no idea how her friend was still alive what with all the shady shit going down in that place.
She knew that is was wrong of her to be like this, in a way. It was horrible of her to judge others by appearances. However, if anyone else had the ability to see into another's soul and discern their true nature with one glance, that person would judge on sight too.
"What?" an ookami rumbled with fury. "The old clans' powers? I should have expected such a ridiculous notion from an incompetent mutt." His voice had the howl of the wind upon it, with the accent of the inhabitants of the northern-most island, Hokkaido. His long brown locks rippled slightly in his ponytail, moved by an unknown force. "They were exterminated long ago, by your damned clan's ancestors. I will not hear any more of this nonsense."
Kagura smiled patronizingly, "Have you given yourself over to the petty sentiments of jealousy, like a mere whelp? Do you envy the Shiranora battle prowess?"
She merely chuckled lightly when the ookami roared, "I will not hesitate to decapitate you and feed your corpse to my tribe's pups for their evening meal, Kagura. Think well on that." His azure eyes held hints of winters' chill in them, made all the more pronounced when he glared death at the female.
Kagura expressed her amusement again, her voice as sweet and free as a bird's song. "You are yet undisciplined, Kouga. You will soon face Master Inuyasha's legendary ire if you do not learn tolerance." The other youkai were beginning to chuckle as well.
"Silence, Kouga! And, Kagura, instigating conflicts will not bring us to our goal. It is a necessity for us to work together, my brother says." The inugami, Inuyasha, growled menacingly, actually pulling off the growl well. Way too well. He peered at Kagome closely, "She seems special to me in some way. Different from other miko. My brother may have actually had his wits about him when he commanded me to sniff her out..." He stood practically nose to nose with her. "Kagura. Hiten. Do not concern yourselves with this, as it is a small matter to you."
"Oh, Ayumi. You know that I hate those men the most. They're idiots." Kagome vehemently wished that the youkai would go away. She couldn't keep feigning ignorance and pretending to be blind to them for much longer. They were truly bothering her. "You know I can't deal with their bull," she sighed. Her shoulders were tight, rigid with loathing for the youkai that crowded her. "Ayumi. You don't even really know the guy. What if he's real trouble?" Her voice trembled slightly as she said this; her last boyfriend had been seriously dangerous.
That relationship had been the worst one and the second attempt she had made at dating. The boy had turned out to be possessed by a bakeneko. It had caused him to mistreat her, becoming so terrible that, by the third month, she finally recognized the bakeneko's presence. Kagome had to perform her first exorcism at the tender age of fourteen in order to drive the monster out.
Suffice to say he wanted nothing to do with her ever again. He didn't even want the promise ring he gave her returned to him. He considered her unnatural, tainted. She supposed she was by now, after delving into the spiritual practices learned by her family so often. She had changed so much.
"Everything will be taken care of." Inuyasha growled deep in his throat, "I will meet this girl again soon."
Ayumi tucked a wavy strand of hair behind her ear saying, "Oh, it'll be alright." As per usual she was calm, composed and completely unruffled.
Sometimes, Kagome really hated being born into a long line of miko, a type of Shinto shaman, the supposed "priestesses". She hated that she was born of the family shrine, and that it had caused her step-father's misery and end.
Sometimes she hated her brown eyes, the very eyes that the females of the Higurashi clan possessed, the eyes that gave her the sight. She hated that her blood ran strong with it and that it had made her the heir to her clan. She hated that she was the only one ever who knew and saw what was going on around her when she was with normal humans.
Sometimes, Kagome hated a lot of things.
And no one ever understood.
"Come on, girl, lighten up." Yuka had returned from dance floor, sweating and looking extremely pleased with herself. She was a great dancer and loved to flaunt it. "We're here to have fun. Fun, Kagome. Is that word in your vocabulary?" And Yuka certainly was having fun, decked out in a short little halter dress, silky and red. She looked just about ready for anything. Anything involving men.
"Ayumi and I were just discussing guys," Kagome feigned a saucy grin. She checked her surroundings, praying that her friends thought she was checking out the major eye-candy gathered there. The daiyoukai seemed to have disappeared from the air, which was their way. How did I not notice that? How did they mask their huge auras without me feeling their absence? "And how troublesome they are." She flipped her hair over her shoulder, an inauspicious gesture. She hoped. I've got a really bad feeling... "I personally think it's better to just stay away from 'em altogether. They can really wear a girl out."
"Do you think we're that bad? All of us?" A familiar voice said behind Kagome. She stilled. Her lungs felt brittle. No way. This isn't possible. "I actually didn't know I was so terrible. Please, allow me to make up for the mistakes of the other members of my gender," he smiled at her predatorily. Oh, hell. She smelled the forest and the shade.
Ayumi glanced up, startled at the tall young man's presence. "Oh my," she said softly, smiling, "I didn't even hear you coming. Taira, don't scare me like that!" Then, she turned to Kagome to introduce the man. "Kagome, this is Taira Shiranosuke. Taira, this is Higurashi Kagome, the one who I've been telling you about."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Higurashi," he muttered as he bent forward in a playful mockery of a bow. "I've heard interesting things about you. As it is, please, take care of me." His attitude was horrible. Kagome could tell just by looking at him that he was always tense and never relaxed, guarded and unattainable. "I am in your hands."
Yuka laughed, "Well, he certainly is a tasty-looking morsel, isn't he?" Ayumi admonished Yuka in a motherly way, causing the man to smirk.
Kagome swatted jokingly at her friends and glanced at the ground, flushed, not with embarrassment but something akin to fear.
It wasn't that Taira wasn't good-looking. He was. In fact, he was downright drop-dead gorgeously handsome. Unreasonably so. His eyes were captivating and unreadable. His skin seemed to have a light brown tint to it, as if he spent all his days basking in the sun, and his tight black wife-beater did a great job showing off his slim swimmer's build and broad shoulders. He could have worked as a male model, could have been a rock star. And really, "attractive", "drool-worthy" or "good-looking" did not cover it.
And yet, all the beauty and epic sex appeal in the world could not compensate for what he was.
Because Kagome could see. Taira's spiky "bleached" hair was actually thick, argent, like the purest of metals– and about a meter in length. His eyes' true color was a liquid amber that glinted under the lights like a dog's. His skin hadn't browned; it was lit from within, luminous.
The attitude he exuded was a familiar one; Taira carried himself as if all those around him were beneath him, a lowly species whose existence would blow out like a weak match in a gale. He was familiar...yes. Like a certain youkai. Like the inugami. Inuyasha. The inugami, Inuyasha. In human skin. In a club. Surrounded by humans. Inuyasha.
Talking to them.
Talking to her. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god...
"Everything alright, Kagome? You look like you've just seen a ghost." Yuka appeared worried. Close enough, Yuka. Very close...
Ayumi was staring at her. She ventured, "You should go home and rest. Maybe you haven't recovered from your illness yet..."
What? Oh, those excuses I make up to cover for the apprenticeship to Gramps that I've been taking on... How could they remember all of those...? Talk about coming back to bite me in the ass..."You're probably right, Ayumi," Kagome smiled and waved their concern away as Inuyasha looked on, bemused. "I think I had better go." She turned to Inuyasha, who suddenly wore an affectation of human concern. Shit. I can't believe it. "I'm sorry to trouble you...um...Taira, was it? I mean, you came out all this way and then I have to go..."
"Oh, no, Higurashi, not at all. Just let me take you home first. It's the least I could do –"
"No!" They all stared at Kagome. She forced herself to be calm. "No, it's okay, I can manage."
Yuka tilted her head to the side and scolded playfully, "Now Kagome, he's not going to bite." You don't know that, Yuka.
"At least not very hard," Inuyasha grinned. His features had a feral look to them, as though he were an wild animal, his instincts and primal drives just barely contained. "I'll just walk you out and wait with you until I can get you a cab, how is that?" And that animalistic quality in his features was more pronounced to Kagome than any other human in the world.
She hid her the emotions bombarding her from within. "Wow. Thank you so much. I didn't think I had enough money for a taxi. You must be very well off to afford one... That's a very gracious offer." He can't hurt me in front of everyone. He can't trick me into making any deals. I'll be fine. I'm okay.
"It's fine, really. Come on."
Kagome nodded and he took her by the elbow to steer her through the throng of dancing youth. She winced, jostled and pushed by their chaotic movements. "Ouch!" One young man who was feverishly moving against a pretty girl accidentally bumped into Kagome, jabbing her with his elbow. She stumbled and tripped.
"Watch yourself, Higurashi." Inuyasha caught her and slid his arm around her waist. Her heart quickened, disturbed by an odd jolt passing between them as their skin touched. "Don't want you to get trampled. People can get hurt so easily. You never know." She attributed the sensation to the friction created by the nature of their powers.
"Thank you..."
"I heard that you were born into a shrine family," the inugami had to yell over the noise of the music. "Are you proud of your heritage?" Kagome thought she saw something glint in his eyes when he said this. Youki? Wait; maybe, I'm imagining this. Paranoia, that's all. Just paranoid. It could be all in my head...
"N-no," Kagome stuttered out, seriously terrified now. What is he going to do...? "I sometimes find myself wishing that I was someone else." She averted her eyes when he tried to catch her gaze. They can't bewitch you unless you meet their eyes. Remember what Gramps taught me. "I've just never really fit in, you know? I always felt so different from everyone. Like I knew something no one else did." She was uncomfortable (to say in the least) being alone with Inuyasha, but she really did not have a choice in the matter. How could she possibly explain to her friends that Ayumi's regular customer was actually a powerful youkai, a thing of fantasy?
"Oh, yeah. I know all about that." Again, that weird predatory smile. Kagome caught sight of his long, sharp teeth, almost all of them fangs. His youki began to pervade her spirit and she quaked, gasping. He should not have affected her. He should not have made her feel that way.
"Tai...Taira...?"
The two earned a couple of glances as Inuyasha tightened his grip on her, holding her closer, "Hold on." He pulled her through the entrance. They walked down a little ways and, finally, the last person in line for the club could not be seen.
Kagome sighed heavily as they finally escaped from the percolating heat of the club and into the cool night's air. A light breeze rustled their clothes. "Taira" cocked his head to the side, as though he heard a voice floating along on the winds, calling out to him. After a moment, Kagome thought that she could hear something too: howling.
"Let's cut to the chase," he said without so much as a glance, "Kagome. You know what I am. At the very least, vaguely. But, I want you to understand exactly who you are dealing with, girl." While he said this, his human "skin" dissolved and his true self shone through. "Do you know what I am, human?"
Kagome found that she could not use her voice. She shook; youkai were as fickle and unpredictable as their western "fey" counterparts. And this one had a lot of power. It had to, in order to look fully human and then pull it off.
"I suppose you have already sensed that I am an inugami. Mayhap you guessed such of my essence from my aura. What other knowledge have you discerned of my nature? About the realm of youkai?"
Kagome could not answer. She gaped, her mouth opening and closing like a fish starving for water. The pressure was building in her.
The inugami laughed as Kagome suddenly shrieked. "What is wrong, wench?" He peered into her eyes, now close to her, almost nose to nose. "Nekomata caught your tongue?"
Kagome stood paralyzed.Something came to the surface of her mind: it was months after the funeral of her step-father. "No, no please..." The memory of a bakeneko possessing the corpse of her dead step-father began to come back to her. "Stop..." The corpse was reaching towards her, a twisted, leering smile on it's rotted face. She had only been nine years old... Her mother had only just married the man a year ago...a big step after her birth-father left her and Souta...she never knew the man... "Stop it..." and Kagome watched again in shame as the corpse of the corpse began to force itself on her; the worst horror imaginable and it had worn her step-father's face. The first time she had ever banished a youkai from her presence...
Something in the poor girl snapped. "STOP."
The inugami froze in place, stopped utterly by young girl's kotomuke. "Never...never more shalt thou transgress against me..." Kagome's strong, furious glare had locked with Inuyasha's surprised gaze. She stared him down, down, down, until he was brought forcefully to his knees, bowing, nose to the ground, "Now, return unto thine keep. It is mine will not to set my eyes upon thee to-night. Obey me dog, and return from whence thou come. I will not be messed with!"
The inugami was beside himself with rage, as he struggled with his subjugation. "You..." Two clawed hands gripped her shoulders as she found herself truly face to face with the youkai for the first time that night. "I did nothing to deserve this insolence and irreverence. We youkai used to be gods to you lesser beings; we were worshipped and given offerings in return for our services." She fought against her basic reaction: flight. Running might provoke him into attacking. Attacking would leave her dead. Inuyasha growled out, "You brought up those illusions with your own power, not mine. You had so expected me to hurt you with my malice that you remembered those images, causing you to experience that memory. You did this to yourself." His lit eyes narrowed, as he resisted the girl's command with everything he had in him. "I will come for you again, wench. For our war. Be prepared to die for the very things you despise." He snapped upright and dashed away as she had commanded, a flash of silver in the darkness.
Kagome stared after him, horrified at what she had done to him, even if he was a youkai. She had forced her will onto another living being with her power – an action she despised above all else. An action that her grandfather had taught her was dangerous and had considerable repercussions. Oh, gods. Ashamed and worn from expending her energy, she crumbled to the cold ground, quaking. What have I gotten myself into?
Time was running out. Guo Shihong stared out over the precipice in a twilight realm, mists and fog swirling and dissipating. The lands of Fusang. The lands of mystical and fantastical beings, a refuge for hunted spirits, the land of youkai. He sighed and wondered when he and his sister would finally be able to rest, when they would be able to call the land their home. He heard a rustling behind him.
Guo Mingya, Shihong's sister, came to her sibling, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "Hey, Brother." Their dark crimson locks looked like blood in the ocean as it was waving in the seaside breeze. "Is it almost time?" she nuzzled into his chest and grasped his hand. Shihong knew Mingya's mind as well as he knew his own, and he knew that they were both yearning for that legend China had had from centuries past.
Shihong grinned, "Soon, Mingya. Very soon." He tilted her chin up and kissed her lightly on the lips, "They will be ours."
They gazed at Fusang over in the eastern waters: the land of the Rising Sun.
