Rhysand
The bedroom was now empty. So empty and so cold. Everytime I see someone passing by me, I feel like they are screaming to me: "Bring our High Lady home!". And I can't. I miss Feyre so much that I would go right now at Tamlin mansion and get her. But she wouldn't want that. She wants to spy on Tamlin, so we could defend the Night Court if any attack would come. I feel so numb and useless. I can't do anything.
Earlier, when she sent that anger and sadness thorough the bond I panicked. If for just one seconds I though I would lose her. I thought something very bad happened, and I know it happened, even through Feyre wouldn't say it. I know because I have the same feelings two days ago. I seen a picture made by Feyre and I stare at it for an hour, after that, all the fury, sadness came at me and I couldn't stop it. At least I put my shields up for Feyre to not know.
Yes, it was my fault she was gone. I shouldn't let her go to the Spring Court. I fucking let her go to a place where I know she was wasting away day by day.
Since she was gone, I locked myself in the town house. Of course, Mor could go through my defense( because she can winnow past my defensebut when she is here I don't talk, I just let her do whatever she wants . She is worried sick about me.
When she came here she speak about Feyre's sisters, Azriel that have healed and about Cassian wings. She make wonderful monologues if it is to ask me.
Nesta is giving everyone headaches with all of her problem with faeries and Elain is trying to convince Nesta to understand that she is now a faerie and should make friends of us and not enemys because they are immortal now and oblivious you don't want the most feared Court to be you're enemy, don't you?
Now, Cassian's wings are even now healead, the process is very slow because they were... well, injured? Mor says that he is trying so hard to not kill the healers around because the procces is slow.
I also know that Azriel is staying with Cassian because his is feeling guilty about his wings, and because someone has to keep him on this planet.
Although, Amren is very mad at me. Mor said that Amren is in charge now that I'm here and won't come out. Also, she thinks I'm an idiot,prick, stupid, imbecile, moron and whatever she continued to say.
Whatever, she reminded me of Feyre. Of course, Feyre was more creative, she named me "Senzitive Illyrian baby".
At least I get to talk to Feyre daily, I keep al the papers we write on a table. I read them sometimes,to remember that she is alright and other times I smell them just caught a glimpse of her. If anybody would told me is that hard to be away from your mate I wouldn't believe them. Now I do. It's like you're ripped to shreds every second, like your will to live is diminished to zero. I didn't let myself think what it would feel if Feyre would die.
When my mother and sister died I couldn't get out of my room, When my father find out about them he was mad. He broke my door because I locked it and screamed at me. He blamed me for telling Tamlin about where they were. He was so ruined by they're deads that I thinked he would kill me by the seconds passing by. He didn't. He just walked out and leaved me alone. The servantas were so surprised by the way he just walked out. After that I started accepting their deads and started crying. At that moment I knew I had to avenge their deads, they died for nothing. In vain. I thought Tamlin was different from all the High Lords and their sons, but no. He was worse. He was much worse all the time, but I was to blind to see it.
Two days later my father came to me and asked if I was going to avenge their deads. I said yes and he take me to a room where he told me his plan. And I was happy to join him.
Somehow, for one second I feeled like it was my fault anymore.
After we got to Spring Court mansion we started our plan. I taken down Tamlin's brothers while my father maked sure that any guard didn't spot us and infiltrated there. I waited before Tamlin's room for my father and when he finally arrived I could smell the blood on him, but not only from the High Lord of the Spring Court, but from the Lady of the Spring Court, too. At that moment I started a fight with my father. That wasn't in our plan. We discussed about it and he promised me he won't kill her. Not like they kill my mother. I remember that he looked guilty, if for one second, he looked guilty. He disappointed his last part of the family he had, me. Then Tamlin opened the door. Of course he had to wake up. Then I remember my father falling down. All of it happened to fast. I looked at Tamlin, who haved a blade in hand and stare for a second, he stared at me, too. He wasn't a son of a High Lord anymore, neither did I. We were both High Lords. I took my father cadaver and winnowed us back to the Night Court.
That memory was one of the most painful ones. When I told Feyre about it I thought she would hate me for what I did to Tamlin family, but instead she hated Tamlin more.
I sent love through the mateing bond. In a matter of seconds Feyre sent love through the bond, too. I get a paper and write:
What are you doing? I am bored here.
Of course I won't tell her that I am in the town house, she must think at least I am okay.
I am exploring the mansion. I just learned something very interesting some hours before.
Some information couldn't do something bad.
And what did you learn?
After 2 minutes she send back a new paper.
A package appeared before right in front of me. It have a nametag and It was for Tamlin. It contained a dress and a letter. I copied the letter on the other paper. Although, Lucien said that I shouldn't explore the mansion because they 2were redecorating. I think I got an idea of what are they doing.
Well, that's new. I started reading the paper.
