[Author's Note]

I like how the mangaka develop Haibara's character. Part of me wanted to ship him and Kudou too. I know some fans would love that. I did thought of adding some romance here but decided against it for now. I think Haibara deserves someone. I just couldn't think of a suitable match just yet. Despite being intelligent, most other characters just doesn't have the same wavelength with her. At least, that's what I think now that I've also reach my twenties. Akai seems fitting but we know by now, their relationship is a web of distrust.

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my project on going inside Haibara's thoughts.


Chapter 2 : Of Agent and Police

Okino Yoko has been gaining more fans each day. I used to think that she was just some irrelevant idol, venturing in too much pathway in showbiz. I guess I was just too much of a snob to realize that my skills were the one that is irrelevant in the world of showbiz. I knew nothing of the workings of how these people find a job, let alone keep one. In a way, I guess I'd consider to be given another chance to not screw up if I could land Haibara Ai her first job later in the future.

Perhaps I should consider being a nurse. Professor could waste his fortune on hiring me to care for him. It's a win-win.

"Oi, what are you brooding over Okino Yoko's poster about?" interrupted Kudou, known by most people as Conan.

"A career in the future," I said with a shrug that dismiss Kudou's interruption.

"As expected of Haibara, so mature!" praised Ayumi, grinning at my side.

She came to me more frequently now. I used to think that it's the girl marking territory sort of behavior whenever she approaches me since I'm always with Kudou. In the end, I gave up that suspicion. Maybe in 10 years she'll be that sort of girl, but right now, this kid is simply enjoying another girl's company in this friendship circle.

Surround yourself with kids every day, and you'll learn to be positive about everything.

"I hoped to work with the government," said Mitsuhiko confidently. Turning nervously to face me, the child fidgets as he ask, "What do you aim to be?"

"Nurse," I replied.

Somehow the conversation steered towards many other stuff by which it ends when Genta claimed to be hungry. We messaged the professor and waited in a fast food retail for him to arrive to treat us for lunch.

I munch on the burger with bore. I guess fancy restaurant dinners would have to wait for another 10 to 15 years or more. So I've waited for 20 years, but then again I wasted my youth in laboratories thinking that it's the best place for my skills but that turned out all wrong. Another two digit years.

By which time, I'd probably get tired of people or being too much of an expert as a recluse.

" – on a larger scale than police! It's cool!" exclaimed Genta. As if to prove his point he settled to me, looking for a supportive statement.

"Sorry, didn't catch the conversation," I said, trying to ignore the inquiring look Kudou was giving.

"It's like this. Genta said an agent is a thousand times better than the police. Which do you think is better? Inspector Sato is a good policewoman though…" said Ayumi, trying to coax her opinion into mine.

"They have it easier though," added Mitsuhiko, acting his wits and intelligence as he put down his burger like a good child before speaking.

"Who?" asked Kudou and I simultaneously.

"Police. Agents sometimes have to act as a double. Their whole lives are surrounded with danger. Police only have to go to the crime scene and solve crimes. Or close the case if it gets too difficult, is what I hear" explained Mitsuhiko.

I can hear Kudou chuckles, finding the discussion silly.

"So I'm right, aren't I? Agents are way cooler than police," said Genta waving his right hand, ignorant of bad table manners to swing your food, not to mention the danger if someone walked by and stumble by his sudden outstretched hand. Agasa saw to this and subtly pull Genta's hand to avoid inconveniencing others.

"I don't think people who have to lie to others are cool though. Agents live a façade of a life, sometimes betraying their own friends and family. Imagine if Ayumi here is actually an agent, and for the sake of her mission she'd have to leave you to die, would you still like her to be an agent? Or just a simple helpful policewoman?" I theorized.

"I'd never leave my friends!" said Ayumi, certain of the friendship bond that should last forever. The ever wistful thinking of a child.

So the discussion ended at police winning the lead although Genta sulk since his first choice were rejected. By the end of the day, what with games and trivia quizzes the professor threw in the journey back, they had all forgotten about the debate and went home happily anticipating the day's dinner. When it was just the three of us – Kudou, Agasa and I – left, Kudou told me his suspicion in one of the police officer from Nagano prefecture to be Rum, the secret agent from the Black Gang.

I preferred to be left in the dark from Kudou's thirst of bringing the group down sometimes. As much as I regretted what had become of me, I'm also grateful that I could start over but I had to give Kudou some credit. As long as the group exist, and still hunting for me, even Haibara Ai won't be a very safe disguise.

"So anyway, agents' life are fake, huh? If I quote your very words, who do you think it sounds like?" ask Kudou.

Lucky for me, Agasa reached Mouri Agency as soon as Kudou finished his sentence. Kudou's question hanged about in the air, forcing both of us to inhale the restlessness of the unspoken answer. He must have been annoyed with my comment earlier but for Kudou, who found thrills in mystery and suspense, I wanted peace in life. One where I don't have to be on the run, or look over my shoulder to suspect if the person who's been staring at me was really analyzing the resemblance between Haibari Ai and Sherry.

I gave Kudou an annoyed face, push the door on his side open, and said, "Get off, smartass."

Kudou replied a knowing smile, gave his thanks to Agasa for the ride, climbed down the car seat and hurried upstairs to Mouri Agency. On the way back, Agasa didn't try for a conversation – perhaps out of consideration, or perhaps I was giving off a terrible vibe that put us both in uncomfortable silence.

After a convenient microwaved dinner, Agasa informed me of some visit a junior colleague of his will have the next day. There was something soothing about how Agasa talks about his work. Although sometimes it was meant to fill the silence, the conversation always turns for the better due to his passion towards his invention, or maybe part of me couldn't kill of my old scientist. It was after I found comfort in discussing chemical properties and mechanical technologies that Agasa revealed his real intention.

"You're not a fake, Haibara. Some lies are told to protect. Don't dwell on it," he said.

Maybe if he was my father, I would have been a straight up scientist, making great medicinal discoveries and went home discussing my achievements and awards happily over sushi and low-fat cakes.

I thanked the professor with a genuine smile and finished up my homework, with enough mistake left for a reasonably average 7 year old smart girl. I reminded the professor to be presentable when his junior came tomorrow and went off to brush my teeth.

It was when I looked at the mirror that I saw Shiho looking at me. Memories came flooding back. It was the cover that brought us to where we are.

Some lies are told to protect.

Even so, casualties are there. His betrayal cost me my sister.

What of mine?