Second of the tumblr prompts! For the "Banal Love" part. In which Alfred is overly excited over Ivan's visit and does something stupid. This is completely unrelated to the first prompt, as you will see. And, unlike the first one, this is actually fluff! Hooray!
.
Dumb Love
Ivan quietly rapped his knuckles on the door of America's home, wondering if he had arrived too early for Alfred to be awake. He knew very well the American enjoyed his sleep. Perhaps, if he didn't get a response, Ivan would slip into America's window as he had done in the past. Although that had been for the purpose of espionage, rather than slipping into Alfred's bed to catch the warm body by surprise.
He continued his knocking, though the idea of sneaking into Alfred's room was appealing to him more and more each moment.
Ivan's fantasy disappeared, however, when he heard a muffled shout of "Coming!" come from within the house. Oh well. As long as he got to see Alfred, he could live without surprising the American with frigid, bedside grope.
Suddenly Ivan heard a yelp from beyond the door, followed by a series of loud crashes and bangs bookended by another surprised cry that Ivan identified as distinctly Alfred's.
He dove a hand into his pocket and fumbled around for his spare key. He had knocked for the sake of politeness, but the cry sounded like Alfred was in trouble, maybe he had hurt himself-
Ivan quickly unlocked and wrenched open the door, flooding into Alfred's foyer, purposefully striding and looking around for a sign of him—
— Only to find Alfred sprawled out on the carpet, blinking his eyes owlishly, looking entirely out of it, his body half on, half off the staircase.
Ivan stood, blinking dumbly at his lover lying on his back near the foot of the stairs. Staring numbly because even Alfred could not be that stupid—
Alfred winced and propped himself up on his elbows, suddenly looking at Ivan, upsides-down, as if he just realized that the tall Russian was there. His hair and clothing were ruffled, glasses knocked askew on his face, giving the Russian a disoriented look that Ivan would have found cute if he was still not struck dumb.
"Hey, Vanya!" Alfred rebounded from his pain and gave Ivan a signature smile, wriggling his body down from the slope of the stairs and onto the hardwood floor, trying to sit up further but wincing as he moved his foot. Alfred stretched his arms out to Ivan, like a child wanting to be carried.
"Can you— ow— help me up, dude?"
"Fredka," Ivan put his hand to his face, reflecting the embarrassment that the blissful American should be showing, "Did you fall down the stairs?"
Alfred rolled over onto his belly and pushed himself up into a crouched position as he eased his way to his feet.
"What? No way, Vanya. I'm not dumb enough to do that-"
Alfred yelped as he put his weight on his right foot, stumbling forward and crashing into Ivan, scrambling to hold onto the Russian's coat. Ivan grabbed onto him tightly as he started to slip back onto the floor.
After a moment of making sure that he had a secure hold on the clumsy American, Ivan sighed and gave him a patronizing pat on the head.
"Will you still be insisting that you did not fall?"
Alfred mumbled incoherently into Ivan's coat.
"что?"
Alfred untucked his head and looked up at Ivan, some of that stubborn annoyance still in his pouting expression.
"I didn't fall. I lost my balance s'all. And besides, it was only 'cause I was rushing so fast to see you, you dumb Russian bear."
Ivan let out a little smile at the endearment, and pinched Alfred's side.
"Well, try not to hurt yourself so next time, my chubby little sunflower."
Alfred's cheeks colored and he pouted further. "Don't call me fat! And how can a sunflower be fat anyway? Your stupid-ass nicknames don't make any sense."
"There is a difference between being 'chubby' and 'fat' my little one. Though it pleases me greatly that you are neither. It is simply so amusing to see your expression when I call you those things."
"You're still a jerk."
Despite the insult, Alfred leaned onto Ivan more as he brought his arms up around the Russian's neck.
"Whatever, my foot hurts. Carry me to the couch, please?"
Ivan's lip curled.
"No."
Alfred gave him a look of mock hurt.
"Ivan! Please? Please, please, please, please, please, please— ?"
"Why?" Ivan growled, if only to stop the annoying mantra of Alfred's begging.
"Why? Well 'cause it's all your fault that I hurt my foot in the first place."
"Fredka, I am not going to carry you-"
"Ivan," Alfred whined, drawing out the Russian's name, "Hasn't any of my heroic behavior rubbed off on you?"
Alfred was always stubborn if it meant getting what he wanted. Perhaps Ivan could beat him using his own fantasies and silly metaphors?
He took Alfred's chin in his hand and tilted the boy's head up.
"Ah, but if I behave as the hero, then that would make you the 'damsel', yes?"
Alfred shook his head insistently, his face serious to the point of being amusing.
"No! Haven't you seen any movies, dude? When one of the heroes is hurt, the other always comes to save the day! So we're both heroes!"
Ivan realized he was not going to win against Alfred's silly little games. He shook his head, once again conceding his defeat to Alfred's "unbeatable" hero logic.
Though Alfred did act very un-heroically when Ivan hefted him none-too-gently into his arms, making Alfred yelp and squirm around in the hold in a most undignified manner. Ivan grunts as Alfred elbows him in the chest.
"Do not move so, darling, you are the one who wanted this in the first place-"
He dumps Alfred onto the couch, a little sadistic smile passing his face as Alfred gasped at the rough treatment.
"Ow! What the hell? Are you mad at me or something?"
Ivan sat next to Alfred, unwinding his tangled limbs, lifting up Alfred's hurt ankle and resting it in his lap, keeping the limb elevated. He sighed and began to stroke Alfred's shin.
"нет, America, I was only hoping that my coming here would allow us to do things other than lie dormant on your couch."
Alfred gave Ivan an enthusiastic smack on the arm that belied his 'injury.'
"Don't worry, I heal fast! I mean, it's a little slower thanks to the bad economy and all, but still, I'll be feeling better in no time." Alfred tilted his head and gave Ivan a smile that made the Russian feel a little more reassured.
"Very well. But I will be picking that place that we shall be going to. None of your fast food restaurants."
Alfred rolled his eyes.
"Okay. But you're paying. I paid last time."
Ivan chuckled. Yes, Alfred had indeed splurged on the Dollar Menu meal he had bought for Ivan last time. But he was determined for them to have one formal date as a couple, and nothing, certainly not cost, would stand in the way. If need be, Ivan would physically carry the clumsy American.
Fyi, I am working on the last chapter of PRS. I'm just a giant perfectionist...But I did post a teaser of the chapter on my tumblr a few days back. In the meantime, enjoy the fluff.
