Sheldon has presented Penny with a proposal of marriage. A mutually beneficial arrangement between two friends who care for one another. Will she say yes?
Sheldon walked through the living room and down the short hall to his bedroom. Luckily, Leonard was out with a grad student he had met. He locked his door and sat down on the edge of his bed before looking at the list of expectations.
1. I will not be artificially inseminated. We would have to conceive the old fashioned way.
2. We do not have to share a bedroom, but we would have to have sex once a week as long as we are together. I will not cheat, but I will not be responsible for my own orgasms either.
3. I want an equal partnership. We make decisions that affect both of us, together. I'm not talking about whether or not you buy Superman or Spiderman comics, but major decisions that affect our lives have to be discussed together. No one has the right to arbitrarily overrule the other.
4. We rent or buy a house once we have a child. Children need room to play and run. Something in a safe neighborhood with a yard.
5. No boarding schools, or nannies. This will be OUR child and we will raise him/her together.
6. I do not expect romance or pretty speeches, but I will not tolerate being disregarded or insulted.
7. This one is negotiable. I want a small ceremony. We are not doing this for love, and the idea of an elaborate ordeal is distasteful to me. It feels like lying. I would prefer just us, and our friends as witnesses in front of a judge.
8. Also negotiable, in lieu of a honeymoon, I would like to take a few days to go see both our families. It only seems right to tell them in person that we have married.
9. I know you are reluctant to take time off work, but I want one week every year for visiting family. Our families live a good distance away and I want them involved in the lives of our child/children.
10. If, after your Meemaw has passed, we still have not had a child, you can chose to end the marriage with no hard feelings on my part. I do not want to keep you trapped in a marriage you do not want.
Sheldon set aside the list, finding nothing he would not readily agree to in it. He opened the journal and began reading.
Wow! A real super genius lives across the hall from me! How cool, right? Actually both of them are way smart, but Sheldon is like that Russell Crowe movie I liked, a real beautiful mind! He's even got these weird quirks. He's going to be interesting to get to know!
He smiled at the memory of that first day.
My lord! That man drives me nuts! All I did was ask them to accept some furniture for me! How could they sneak in while I was asleep! Creepy much?! I am definitely never having anything to do with them ever again!
How close he had come to losing out on Penny's friendship! He scanned a few more entries.
Poor Sheldon! I swear he couldn't have gotten sick from me! I don't even have a sniffle! But he's so sick and miserable. I made him tea and put him to bed. No sponge bath (or enema!) although, between you and me, I really was tempted about the bath. I'll admit to a certain…curiosity to what he looks like under all those layers. I'm betting he has a lean swimmer's body. Oh, and he taught me the sweetest little song to sing when he's sick. Sometimes he annoys the crap out of me, but then there are times like this when I just want to hug him forever.
Teaching her Soft Kitty had been a whim. One he was glad he had given in to.
Okay, here's the deal. If Sheldon Cooper ever ends up dead, I am going to jail. Why? Because it will be me that killed him! How could he hang my panties and bras on the telephone line! He has soooo crossed the line this time! I will never forgive him for this!
Him?! She had called his mother!
He's so innocent and sweet sometimes. And he's so annoying and irritating, too. Sheldon got locked out and he stayed with me. He took my bed. He made me sing to him. I was close to smothering him. But then he fell asleep and I heard him mumbling. When I got up to check on him, he said "always Penny" then he fidgeted a bit and smiled. "my friend" he said and then he settled into a deep sleep. I would have hugged him if I wasn't afraid of waking him.
There was a lot more, but Sheldon set the notebook aside and thought about the various entries floating around in his mind. When he first approached Penny, he had told her she was the only viable candidate. That wasn't entirely true. She was the first one he had thought of. Then he had compiled a list of candidates. Penny was not the first woman to ever attract his attention. He was not the asexual robot everyone assumed. But, Penny was the only woman he had ever felt more than indifference for since his hormonal teen years. His brief interest in sexual exploration had left him with little desire to ever do it again. The woman he had been involved with had only been interested in her own pleasure and had cared nothing for him. After watching various colleagues act in a similar fashion to their significant others, he had decided emotions were a hindrance and elected to ignore them.
Her journal only reinforced his certainty that Penny was the only person he could spend his life with. He had never given much thought to marriage. He had not even given much thought to progeny except in the context of passing on his genetics. But when Meemaw had told him of her diagnosis, and that she had about a year left, he had been slapped in the face with thoughts of mortality. When she had mentioned that one of her biggest regrets was that she wouldn't have a chance to see any great grandchildren, he had jumped at the opportunity. He had a slight chance to do the one thing he had only ever imagined. Be with Penny.
So, he had spent two weeks planning. He had avoided Penny completely so that he did not reveal his plans prematurely. He had wanted to have the best possible arguments to convince her to go along with it. It would appear that he had succeeded. He did not need to read her cons list. He already knew those. He chose to disregard them. He opened his laptop and began typing quickly.
Penny waited for him to finish knocking before opening the door. She drew on her acting skills to appear calm, but inside she was very nervous. "Come in, Sheldon. That was much faster than I thought it would be."
Sheldon nodded as he took a seat on the couch. He placed her notebooks on the table and set a sheaf of papers on top. Penny closed the door and sat down beside him. Sheldon cleared his throat and turned to face her. "I have drawn up a marriage agreement and incorporated each of your requests in it. I have also included four of my own." He flipped to the list he had made and handed it to her.
1. We will sell your car and purchase something safe and reliable for our progeny.
2. We will both submit to medical testing before we wed to verify our fertility.
3. There will be no alcohol consumed while endeavoring to conceive, nor during pregnancy.
4. I will pay for your acting classes if you will also take at least one college course each semester. You are not stupid, and I truly believe that you only lack confidence. I suggest accounting or marketing which would help you with your Penny-Blossom business. I also believe that this would help you to continue to provide for our progeny in the case of my untimely death.
The last one caused conflicting emotions. Anger because once again her lack of education was being brought up. Leonard had done it often, making her feel like he was trying to make her more like him so he wouldn't be embarrassed by her. Sheldon had often pointed out her ignorance. On the other hand, she was touched that he was thinking about the future of their proposed offspring. He was attempting to ensure that their child would always be safe, and well provided for.
Penny tried to think rationally. She tried to look at this from every possible angle. She looked up to see Sheldon watching her hopefully. This was insane! She couldn't marry someone she didn't love! But I do love him, she thought to herself. Maybe a bit more than a friend should, but first and foremost, she did love him as a friend. She could depend on him. Despite their differences, she knew without a doubt that he would never hurt her, and would always do his very best to make this a successful marriage. Sheldon never did anything half-heartedly. He would not cheat, and he would never raise a hand to her. She cared about him. She was protective of him. And there were many times when they had lots of fun together.
Life with Sheldon would never be easy. Then again, life with her wouldn't be either. They would drive each other nuts, and they would drive each other to be better. Together they would be a formidable team. Penny picked up a pen from the table and signed the agreement. She placed the papers on the couch between them and looked at Sheldon. "Ask me," she said softly.
Sheldon licked his dry lips and cleared his throat. "Penny, will you marry me?"
She nodded calmly. "Yes, Sheldon. I'll marry you."
