Strengthen Me

Chapter 2


Eren's POV


My eyes crack open as I pull myself from the peaceful dream I had been having and force my mind into a wakeful state. My vision was slightly blurred and unfocused. I bring my hands up to my eyes and rub the sleep out of them before reaching for my phone that was placed on my bedside table. I looked at the bright numbers on the screen. "03:29… god… why am I always waking up so early?" I say to no one in particular as I try to turn over so that I was on my back.

"This sucks" I say as I stare up at the ceiling. I keep thinking I'm going to wake up in the house from my dream… I keep thinking that this is just a dream and that I'll wake up again, back in Tokyo with Levi, teaching at that stupid school and living a normal life… but I know that I won't wake up again. This feels far too real. Sure the life I had been living in Tokyo had felt real as well but at the same time it just felt a little… far-fetched.

I don't even know what the point of that dream was. Would that have happened if Levi had left me for real? Or was that just a fantasy? Though I don't think I would have such a fantasy of Levi leaving me. I was really upset when he told me about his offer from Tokyo university and I think that had we been separated for ten years I would have been driven to the point of insanity.

I loved Levi. There was no doubt about that. That's why I didn't understand the dream. For the first parts of it I hated him, something I don't think I'll be able to do even if I caught him cheating on me- which I know he wouldn't do in any case. I don't think I've ever hated anybody in my life. I was just unable to hate.

Yet in this dream that emotion towards another human being came so easily. It was sickening. But maybe there was some sort of deeper meaning. Maybe I was trying to tell myself that I was capable of hating someone. That I was capable of hating Levi. But I didn't hate him for that long, right? In the dream he showed me that he was truly sorry about leaving me and tried his hardest to get me to fall for him again.

Maybe I was just showing myself that if we were to be separated- like we were once upon a time- we would always find each other again, like a bee will always find pollen in a flower garden. Maybe I was just confused or something. Maybe, just before the accident occurred and I lost some of my memories, I had my doubts about Levi actually loving me and that's what triggered me to have such a dream?

Ah, this is just all too confusing. Maybe I should just stop thinking about all of this. It's just giving me a headache. Although right now thinking was all I could do. It's not like I could get up and do stuff that would distract me from my own thoughts. I was practically disabled. I can't even go to the bathroom without the help of someone. It was both embarrassing and frustrating.

"If there's a god up there he must really hate me" I mutter out. I really must have done something extremely bad and now this is mother natures way of saying 'fuck you!'. Well if that is the case then fuck you too mother nature, you're truly a bitch and if you were an actual person I'd probably slap you upside the head and kick you in your lady balls.

Yes. Kick you in your lady balls. You'd probably be both genders. Well good for you I suppose. You'd never get bored of playing with yourself since you have both genitalia. Something different each night.

God how did I even get to such a disturbing thought? I think I should try to do something. Maybe I could use this time to try and sit up on my own. It shouldn't be too hard, right? I mean sitting was supposed to be easy. Babies can sit so why shouldn't I be able to? Okay well to be honest newborn infants can't really do anything. But I wasn't a new born baby so it shouldn't matter in any case.

"Well here goes" I say silently as I try to lift myself. I manage to stay seated for a whole five seconds before I fell back down, hitting my head against the headboard. "Oww… argh, it can't be this hard" I mutter out as I try again.

I failed. Maybe it would help if I was on the edge of the bed? I could hold onto the ends and try to keep myself up. Though I don't think my upper arm muscles will be able to handle the action it was worth a try. The worst thing that could happen was me falling forwards and hitting my head. I can do this. All I needed to do is try to get to the edge of the bed which probably won't be easy. "Life really sucks"

I sigh out. I was already out of breath just from trying to sit up but I would bear with the burning I felt in my lungs and try again. I mean this was good practice. It might help me with my rehabilitation process. "Right. Let's do this then"


Normal POV


Eren had gotten to the edge of the bed with no problems. Well it was straining but that action was nothing compared to the attempt he made at sitting up. He was seated for a whole five five seconds, just like before, until he fell backwards again. Of course he wasn't going to give up just yet.

"I can do this" he says as he tries to sit up again, gripping onto the edge of the bed to try and support himself. His muscles gave in after twenty seconds and he fell backwards again. 'Third time's a charm' he thought to himself as he tried one more time. This time he managed to stay up for a whole minute before falling back down again.

"Argh, I guess I can't do this" he grumbles out as he let's out a scream/sigh. To say he was frustrated would be a complete understatement. He was beyond frustration. "This sucks ass" he mutters out as he looks up at his ceiling. His eyes held un-shed tears in them, making his eyes appear glossy.

"I'm so pathetic..." He sniffles out as the tears start to shed. 'I can't sit up and now I'm even crying about it... Why does life have to be so cruel? Why can't things be easy? Like the dream...' He thinks to himself, laughing at his own thoughts. "If things were really easy then life would really be nothing but a fantasy. I've already had my fantasy. It's time to face reality"

'But this really sucks. I hate being so... Vulnerable...'. He thinks to himself. "All the bad things are always thrown at me... Why couldn't this have happened to someone else...?" He says aloud. "It's like the world enjoys throwing its fat ass turds at me" he mumbles out, hands pulling at his hair as he let out another frustrated scream/sigh.

He was about to pull his strands out but the sound of his door opening caught his attention. He lifted his head up and looked over. There was no one there and the door hadn't been opened that much. "Must have been the wind" he mutters to himself, glaring at the door before placing his head back down.

He had only been awake for three whole weeks and already he wished he had just stayed in that clueless bout that was his dream. It wasn't that he hated the way things were, well it wasn't like he exactly enjoyed it either, but he was able to do a lot more when he was mindlessly dreaming about a future that would have probably never happened in real life.

There were three things he was capable of doing in his dream. He could walk. He could walk and thirdly he could walk. He wanted to get up and move around, much like he had been doing while dreaming. But now, now he was just a living couch potato. All he could do was lay on his arse and he simply hated it.

His whole life he had been a very active, outgoing type of guy and now that he's just sitting and doing nothing he realizes that he should have been more appreciative about things. He wouldn't even complain if Levi asked him to clean something. He would literally grovel at the male's feet and thank him. Of course with his state of mobility as it was now Levi wouldn't even ask him for anything.

"He's barely even touched me ever since I woke… up…" he trails off as his attention was caught by the sound of the door creaking open again. "Levi, I swear to god if it's you behind there doing that I'm going to kick you in the ass once I'm able to" he mutters out as he stares at the partially opened door. No one said anything. It was silent. The only sound that could be heard was his suddenly heavy breathing.

"Levi… this isn't funny" he utters out, "stop being a jackass" he adds in, glaring at the door. Again he was just greeted by silence. The door started opening again and a shadow started creeping behind it. "Levi…?" he calls, his voice starting fill with worry. He got no reply. This time he heard a small scratching sound on the door before it swung open, the suddenness of it making him scream out and close his eyes as his hands came up to protect him.

He expected something to start hitting him but instead he felt something licking his hands that were usefully trying to cover his face. "Huh?" he voices as he moves his hands out of his face, thinking that whoever the attacker was must have been a serious pervert to just start licking him like that. As he tried to move his hands they pressed against something soft and fury.

He opened his eyes and as he caught sight of who it was that decided they would molest his hands with their tongue, he let out a sigh of relief. "Aw, it's just you, Levi-boy" he sighs out as he starts petting the dog's fur. "Ah, I've missed you boy" he articulates. He could already feel all the sourness he had felt early start to fade as he eyed his dog.

Levi, real one, had been keeping the animal away from the brunette for fear the canine might hurt him. Eren found it stupid as he didn't think the dog was able to even hurt a fly. But it wasn't like he could really stop the blackette. When he says something he sticks to his words and no amount of persuasion will break him. Unless Eren stripped naked and begged. Not that he was even able of doing that with the state he was in.

I wonder what he's doing here though… must have slipped past Levi or something… ah it really is nice seeing him. He's so different now… or should I say he's exactly the same?

"You know. In my dream you weren't as energetic as you are now. You were old and all you did was sleep, eat, mess and then repeat. It's nice having my real boy back with me. Since I'm sick I want you to take good care of me, Levi-boy" he says and the dog just licks his face, earning sounds of disapproval from the brunette who was now trying to swat the dog away from his face.

"Blegh, you're disgusting boy" he chuckles out. His words were answered by the dog, which licked his face one more time before nuzzling into the brunette's side. "Hey boy... Go call that old fart for me. I really need to use the bathroom and unfortunately my body is in a pathetic state right now so I can't do anything" he says as he scratches the top of the dogs head. "Though he might be sleeping... Maybe we should leave him... He barely get's enough sleep and it is... I guess I'll just have to hold it for now"

"No need to worry about that. I've been up for the last four hours" he hears someone say. He lifts his head up to look at the entrance of his room to find Levi standing there, casually leaning against the door frame while he watched the brunette and his dog.

"How long have you been there?" Eren asks and the man shrugs. "For the last twenty minutes" he says as he walks into the room and towards the brunette. "I think we should get you a baby monitor. That way you can just call me that way" the blackette says as he helps the brunette up into a sitting position.

"Sure, why not? It's not like I feel like a helpless baby already. Why not just get a baby monitor and emphasize that" he says and Levi just shakes his head at him. "I know you don't like this but it can't be helped. The fact that you weren't using your body for seven whole months really disadvantaged you. Your muscles are too weak and you don't have enough body mass to support yourself. You're basically just bone"

"You make me sound like someone with anorexia" Eren replies as he stares at the blackette who was holding him up so that he wouldn't fall backwards. "You aren't anorexic. You're not even malnourished. You were fed while in a coma through a tube connected to your stomach." He says, ruffling a had through the brunettes overgrown mop of hair.

"Although you might have not got enough nutrition since liquid foods don't always hold enough nutrients and that may have been the result of weight loss but the weakness in your muscles is because they haven't been used which caused them to become stiff and temporarily unusable" he explains and Eren let's out a sigh.

"I know that. It's still frustrating having to rely on you all the time. I'm sure you have better things to do then look after a brat like me" the brunette says. "I do have better things to do. But I'm choosing you over them because you mean more to mean then having fun does" Levi replies, kissing the brunette on the forehead. "So shut up and let me take care of you" he adds, his words making Eren's face heat up. This man...

"W-whatever, do as you please"


Once Levi had helped Eren use the bathroom, which was both amusing, irritating and embarrassing for both males, and helped him with his daily rountine they went straight to the kitchen, or rather Levi went to the kitchen and just happened to have Eren in his arms as he did. Levi seated Eren on one of the chairs around the dining table, first making sure the brunette wouldn't fall or anything before he went to making them something to eat.

"I need to take my pills..." Eren voiced after a moment of just watching the blackette move around in the kitchen. "I was going to give them to you now." Levi said as he placed two cups in front of the brunette. One had tea while the other was just plain water. The blackette then went over to one of the cabinets and opened it up, pulling out a small little blue bag.

"You know which ones to take right?" He asks and the brunette nods his head. "I was listening when the doctor told my about the medicine I would need to take... Well kinda" he admits and Levi just smiles. "You and I both know that you didn't and that you just paid attention to me when I took them outl the blackette says and Eren pouts. "I could have been listening"

"But you weren't" Levi replies instantly, "To be honest you barely ever listen when someone is talking to you" he adds in and Eren shook his head. "That's actually not true. I listened to you for a whole six months" he says and the blackette gives him a confused look. "I highly doubt that. You were asleep for that time so it's impossible that you were able to hear me, or anybody"

"Yeah, but whenever I went to sleep in the dream I would always hear your voice. It's not really something I can explain…" Eren mutters, trailing off towards the end. "Well try. You never give people the full picture, just tiny bits that they have no way of placing together" Levi commands, earning an exasperated sigh from the brunette.

"It's like… when I was dreaming… whenever I went to sleep I would be awake here in the real world… but at the same time I was still asleep, well my body was. I couldn't see anything but pure darkness but I could hear everything. And I could always hear you speaking to me… you always sounded so broken… I woke up, in the dream of course, crying a couple of times... I don't think I want to hear you sound like that ever again-"

"I don't want to be told that you're going to die again" Levi interjects, "I don't want to have to watch over you every day. Not like that. I want you to be healthy and alive." He adds in and Eren just smiles. "It wasn't like I was dead…"

"It sure felt like it though. Not being able to speak to you… not being able to touch you… it was hell. But you're awake now… it doesn't matter anymore. Just knowing that you're alive, and actually conscious, is enough to keep me happy" the blackette says.

"I promise I'll stay alive and well as long as you promise to not sound like you were just told you have cancer" Eren said and the blackette chuckles.

"Deal"

A silence passed between them. Levi went back to making them something to eat while the brunette took the pills he had to. One of the pills he took was to help get his health back and the rest were to prevent his body from rejecting the heart in his chest. Eren found it stupid that he needed to take the pills as his body hadn't rejected it yet so why would it now?

"In some cases you could go for a whole year, maybe more, without taking those pills and your heart, or whatever organ you got, won't show any signs of being rejected by your body. But that isn't to say that it won't have a delayed reaction. The medicine we give you is to just prevent that from ever happening. Of course if you feel you shouldn't take it then go ahead. But we won't be held responsible if anything does happen to you" he remembers Aki saying.

"Don't worry, I'll see to it that he does take them" he remembers Levi replying. Ah, I guess I'll just have to bear with it. Though I really hate drugs… I feel like I'll become addicted or something… he thinks to himself. He then shakes his head. He doubted it that he would be able to get something as stupid as an addiction. He knew he wouldn't. He simply hated pills and medicines too much to become addicted.

"What are you thinking about?" Levi asks as he places a plate filled with eggs and bacon and two slices of toast. Eren shook his head at the male. "Nothing important" he says as he picks up his tea he had forgotten about and takes a sip before placing the cup back down and then picking up his eating utensils.

"So, what's going to happen now… I mean… I'm basically an orphan" the brunette asks after swallowing a mouth full of toast. "I'm looking after you" Levi replies, taking small bites from his own meal. Eren scoffs at him. "Levi, no matter how you look at it we're both just kids. You can't look after me and still yourself. We don't even have money… how are we going to survive? Well… how will I survive… you could just go back to your father and live a healthy life… maybe I should just go to some orphanage… it'll be less stress for you"

"The next time you say something like that I'll knock you upside your head" the blackette says, giving the brunette a deadly look. "I have thought about everything. Money won't be a problem so you don't have to worry about us surviving or not. I got myself a job and my dad said he'll gladly pay monthly costs for the house but I have to find my own way to provide for the both of us."

"Besides, your dad updated his will and put me in it. His entire annuity is paid to me monthly but I'm keeping all of that for your future. I won't use any of that money. I'll make my own" he says and Eren shakes his head.

"You're an idiot. You could have used that money to study" Eren says "Your future is more important than mine. Besides. My dad will pay for my studies should I decide to go to college" the blackette replies. "Please go to college" the brunette pleads with him, "I don't want to hold you back anymore than I already have" he adds in.

"You aren't holding me back, Eren. I'm doing this because I want to. No one is holding me back, especially not you. Stop worrying. You're going to get wrinkles and ruin that face of yours" he says, smiling at the brunette.

"Whatever… I'll stop worrying as long as you promise me one thing…" the brunette says. "What is it?" Levi asks. "Enroll in college next year. I want you to still fulfill the need of wanting to better yourself" Eren replies.

"I promise"

Yet another silence followed as they ate their breakfast. Once they were done Levi placed their dirty dishes into the basin and the took the brunette to the living room. Levi was going to go and clean the dishes (cuz he's obsessed) but was stopped by the brunette. "Don't go"

Levi sighed out before he moves the brunette forward slightly and takes a seat behind him before pulling him so that he was between his legs. He wrapped his legs around the younger as he laid him down on his chest and saying "You're a real spoiled brat, you know that?"

Eren chuckles at the male. "I know I am" he sighs out as he feels that blackette's fingers start brushing through his silky brown strands.

"It feels weird" Eren says after a moment of silence passed between them. "What does?" Levi asks, his fingers pausing in their brushing. Eren lets out a sigh. "All of this… I mean the only things I really remember is of you looking after me while dad was out working so this so this should feel somewhat normal…"

"You're not making sense" Levi replies, pulling his hands back. "What I'm trying to say is that it feels like there's something missing… I suppose there is though since dad isn't here… but anyway. What's my schedule for tomorrow?" Eren asks, dropping the subject he'd brought up. this time it was Levi's turn to sigh.

"You know it's okay to talk about it, Eren. It will make you feel better" Levi said, referring to Erens dad's death. "I know… I know that but I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to have to deal with this for a second time. Not now" Levi nods his head, knowing that the brunette was talking about not wanting to deal with his father's death for a second time, since his dad had died in his dream. That and he probably didn't want to deal with those type of emotions either.

"well, when you're ready I'll be here to listen to you"

'I'll always be here'


Well hello my lovelies! I'm sorry this is soooo late. I ended up getting distracted while writing this and I also had to deal with a mini writers block. It was awful. I'm sure I've said this before but when I have writers block I become really depressed. So yeah. I was a lil sad.

Anyway. so, how was it? I really hope you guys like it. Although I must say that this chapter is a little shitty. So I have some prompts I'd like to voice/write.

Ahem. Well I was thinking of killing myself by writing another story. I have two ideas. One is basically just a humorous fic of Levi writing his daily life in a diary. It's like one of those "Yours truly" type of things that just has funny diary entries.

The second one I quite liked. It will be in the SNK universe but there will be a twist. Here's the summary: "Hange creates a serum that she suspects will help Eren control his titan abilities. Eren, willing to try anything to help him control his abilities, takes the serum and expects something to happen. Something did. Just not what they had wanted. No something far worse, and unexplainable happened. The serum turned Eren into a female"

I think the second one will be very comedic featuring an embarrassed, shy and completely perplexed Eren and a extremely perverted, sexually frustrated Levi. It should be fun writing that one.

Well. Tell me what you think! And I really do hope you liked this chapter. I'm done with school for the year so I'll have a lot of free time so let's hope I update a lot!

Review~ Gimme some love and I'll give you a chapter! OHH and thank you to those that did review! I love you all!

Ciao~