Author's Note: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. Any further comments or ideas/suggestions would be greatly appreciated. My readers are my inspiration for this story, and I love to hear from you. :)
Sorry this chapter took much longer to finish than I expected it to. I broke my arm last week, and that has slowed me down quite a bit as it was my writing hand. :(
Warning: For anyone it may bother, this chapter contains a bit of torture. Only in a nightmare, but torture nonetheless. (Hehe, I've never had to write one of these before.)
Disclaimer: Thor's not mine.
How did his brother always manage to tire him so? Thor lies down in his bed, still feeling drained from his argument with Loki. He hated to think of what the trickster had done and the punishment for it, and thanks to all that, Thor just didn't know how to handle his little brother anymore. He knew he should probably hate him... but he can't. Loki is his brother, no matter what he's done. So, Thor will continue to love him and do what he can to help him, even during his imprisonment.
So how could he have said such things to the little brother he claimed to love? How could he have told the troubled trickster he was as hopeless as everyone believed? Thor knows he's the only one who still holds hope for Loki, so how could he have told him otherwise? And then go so far as to hit him for agreeing? Thor curses himself for not controlling his anger better. Loki was undoubtedly hurt by it, even if he pretended otherwise, and he would hold it against Thor for the rest of his life. He had given Loki just one more reason to hate him...
Thor tosses and turns under the covers, unable to quiet his mind enough to sleep. He is feeling tremendously guilty for his harsh treatment of Loki this morning. He tells himself he'll go see Loki again soon and apologize, but nothing seems to settle his conscience.
The Thunder God abandons his attempts to sleep, instead aiming to make his body as active as his mind. Thor leaves his room and starts walking. With no aim or purpose, he just feels the need to keep moving. Still he is plagued by his guilty conscience, and his feet race to keep up with his mind. Thor finds himself running down the endless corridors of the palace, fleeing his own thoughts but to no avail.
Thor dashes around a corner and skids to a stop as he spies a shadow moving ahead of him. He slowly approaches the figure as he recognizes the warrior before him. He tries to look as if he hadn't just been racing about like a madman. Thor doubts he would find sympathy here.
Sif looks up at Thor as he gets draws near. Her face is cool and shows no emotion, but she too looks almost as tired as Thor. "What brings you here at such an hour, Thor?"
"Sleep proves difficult for me this night. And what of yourself?" Thor stands next to Sif and joins her in gazing out the window at the moonlit garden below.
"I do not wish to sleep."
Thor knows there's something bothering the warrior woman, but he's known her long enough to know when it is best to leave her be. Sif is not usually one to share her feelings, and if you value your life you don't try to pry. So, Thor simply nods and continues to look out the window, glad to have company now other than his own torturous thoughts.
"You worry for your brother." It was not a question. Thor looks at Sif, surprised that she could read him so easily when she had not so much as glanced at him since he came to stand beside her.
"No, of course not. Why should you think that?"
"Leave the lying to your brother, Thor. I know of what happened in his cell this morning."
Thor is shocked at this news. Did all of Asgard know of his argument with Loki? "How did you hear that?"
"You forget my brother is Heimdall. While he does not always tell me what he sees, it is not uncommon for me to hear of something like this." Sif looks at Thor and sees his worried expression. "Don't worry. I don't mean to tell any others."
"Thank you, Sif. It is better that none know that I too lost hope in my brother, even if only for a moment. Someone has to believe in him, Sif."
The Lady nods and smiles lightly at the prince of Asgard. "Your faith in him is admirable, Thor, misplaced as it is." Thor opens his mouth in protest, but Sif raises her hand to stop him as she continues. "But I know better than to argue that with you." Sif laughs at the memory of the painful sparring session after she had made the mistake of trying to sway Thor's loyalty to his brother. Thor smiles too.
An argument with Sif is simple. You can argue your point all you want, but you're not likely to change her mind. But if you spar her afterwards, you can earn her respect despite her disagreement, plus it gets all the anger out of the way as well. Why couldn't things be so simple with Loki? Thor's brother could make an argument better than anyone in Asgard, but if you did happen to outmatch him then he would hold it against you forever. Or he would get even, and nobody wants to have a score settled against them by the God of Mischief. Loki can hold a grudge longer than anyone Thor knows, and he likely has more grudges held against Thor than the thunderer can even count. Thor can't help but feel he'll never be able get his brother back.
"Hey! You actually looked like yourself for a minute. Don't get all sulky on me again." Sif hits Thor's shoulder, pulling him out of his thoughts. "If it helps, I think he will forgive you."
Thor stares at Sif in surprise. He knows Sif doesn't know Loki as well as he does, but he thought she knew him enough to know the trickster never simply 'forgives' someone, especially Thor. "And why should he do that?"
"Because Loki can only hold on to his hatred for so long. We all get angry, we hold grudges, and eventually we must let them go. No one can stay angry for ever; it would be exhausting. Loki is no different. He simply stays angry longer."
"Then what will it take to make him let go of his grudges?"
Sif pauses to think that over for a moment. "I can't say, but you know him better than I. If he can't let go on his own, then something will push him to his limits eventually."
"Is it wrong for me to look forward to that day? That my brother should be broken so? And only so he will let go of petty grudges against me? Sif, can I really be so selfish?"
"Come now, Thor. You are not selfish for looking forward to something all Asgard longs to see. Loki will be better off when he learns to let go."
Thor says nothing else, but instead leans forward against the edge of the window. He stares down at the garden, once again lost in his own thoughts. He doesn't know how long he stays there, but when the God of Thunder finally looks up, Sif is gone. As it was late in the night when Thor had first set out from his room, he figures dawn cannot be far now. So with sluggish steps, Thor returns to his room to try to get a couple hours of sleep before the new day begins.
The prince of Asgard tosses and turns, still struggling to find sleep. But finally when the night is all but gone, Thor's exhaustion gets the better of his guilty thoughts, and the thunderer falls into an uneasy sleep. But that only opens him to the horrors of his subconscious, and gives his guilt free-reign over his sleeping mind.
Loki lies on the floor looking up at Thor, his eyes communicating pure terror in place of their usual hatred. Thor takes a step towards his brother and wonders what could possibly have him looking so scared. The trickster scrambles back across the floor, trying to get as far from the Thunder God as possible. When his back hits the wall, Loki looks back at the rough stone as if it had betrayed him. The God of Mischief braces himself as if expecting to be struck but stares up at Thor with wide pleading eyes. And it is only now that Thor realizes that Loki is covered in blood, all the trickster's own.
Loki is bleeding from many wounds all over his body. His clothes are ripped and torn. The God of Mischief looks like he's been through hell. But why? And why is he looking at Thor as if he is the one to save him?
Thor takes another step towards the beaten trickster. Loki abandons his pleas for help and ducks his head, effectively hiding his face from his brother. What had Thor done to stir up such fear in the God of Mischief?
The Thunder God pauses as he realizes there's something in his hand, but he can't identify what is. He has to look down at his own hand to see what he holds.
Grasped tightly in Thor's hand is a long black whip. Blood glistens near the end of it, and it is suddenly clear to Thor why Loki is so afraid of him. The blood is Loki's, and the cause is the whip in Thor's hand. Thor should have been horrified by this realization, but instead he smiles sadistically as he looks at the whip.
Smile still in place, Thor snaps the whip across his brother's arms, raised in a feeble defense of his face. The God of Thunder admires the way the blood flows from the fresh wounds on Loki's arms. The blood trickles like shadows in the dull light, and the trickster's cry of pain is like music to the thunderer's ears.
Thor snaps the whip again, this time across the back of Loki's ill-protected head. Blood soaks the trickster's hair, matting it against his scalp. The God of Mischief makes no sound but immediately moves his hands to clutch a this freshest injury. Displeased with Loki's silence, Thor snaps the whip again, harder this time, at his brother's now exposed face.
Loki lets out an anguished cry as the delicate skin is sliced by the unforgiving weapon. In a desperate attempt to save himself, the trickster leaps to he feet and charges at the Thunder God without a second's hesitation. He shoves the older god, trying to knock him to the ground that the God of Mischief may have a chance to get away. But Thor is much stronger than his battered little brother. When Loki hits him, he doesn't fall to the floor as Loki had hoped nor does he so much as take a single step back, rather he catches the broken trickster by his hair and effortlessly hurls him to the floor once more.
The God of Mischief lands face-down on the floor with a pained groan. Thor laughs at his foolish little brother's pathetic attempt to save his own worthless life. Before Loki can even try anything else, Thor lashes out mercilessly with the whip. The trickster cries out as another gash joins the uncountable others already marring his back.
But after Loki's attempt to flee, Thor is finished toying with his brother. Loki is a monster; he must be punished. And he dare try to run away from such justice? Unacceptable.
Thor does not pause any longer than he must to recoil the whip for maximum damage. It is time to end this madness, and he will end it with the God of Mischief's great suffering. Loki writhes in pain in a pool of his own blood on the floor of his dreary cell, now to be his tomb. It is not long before his screams fade to whimpers, and his thrashing stills to mere twitching. And Thor knows his brother's end is near.
The God of Thunder drops the whip and kneels down next to his dying brother. Loki's breathing comes in shallow gasps, and his eyes stare ahead unseeing. The color has drained from the trickster's eyes, leaving the once vivid green orbs lifeless and dull.
Thor puts his hand around the broken god's throat and lifts him from where he lay on the floor. In one quick movement the thunderer pins his brother against the wall and draws a dagger from his belt. He holds the tip of the blade against Loki's chest but does not harm him with it, yet. The God of Mischief feels the sharp weapon pressed against him, and in a final plea for mercy the trickster locks eyes with the Thunder God.
"Brother, please..."
But Thor pays Loki's begging no heed. He plunges the dagger into his brother's heart and watches as a final spark of life finds its way to Loki's eyes. His eyes shine feverishly bright as his mouth opens in a silent scream.
What feels like an eternity later, the trickster's eyes once again fade to a dull grey, and his body falls still. His eyes gently close never to open again as his last breath leaves his body. Loki is no more. Thor smiles smugly at the death of his weak little brother who had long deserved a far worse death than this.
But as the God of Thunder stares at the motionless form and closed eyes of his brother, he feels a strange sense of panic rising up from somewhere far in the back of his mind. He looks rapidly from Loki's unnaturally calm face to the dagger in his chest - the one still held in Thor's now shaking hand. The prince of Asgard frantically looks back to his brother's face and then to the dagger again.
He had done this... He had beaten Loki, tortured him even... And when Loki had actually asked for mercy...he had stabbed him...
Thor had killed his little brother.
Thor suddenly sits up in bed, breathing heavy and drenched in sweat. He had just dreamed of killing Loki... Could his guilty subconscious really go so far? Sure, he had been harsh to his brother, but to torture and kill him? Surely, his minds had gone too far.
Hadn't it?
Try as he may, Thor can't shake the sense of dread welling within him. He has an awful feeling that something isn't right, and no matter how much he tells himself that he's just being foolish the feeling doesn't let up. But Thor can't just go running to Loki's cell in the middle of the night simply because he had a bad dream. He would go see his brother first thing in the morning, but for now he just needs to calm himself down.
"Sometimes it's just better not to sleep." Thor mutters to himself as he climbs out of bed. Sluggishly, the prince dresses and trudges from his room. He would go for a walk through the gardens and wait for dawn.
