Harry Potter the Accidental Overlord: Chapter TWO

Summer between Second and Third years Part 1

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Harry's second day back at the Dursleys had begun very unusually. The first day had started off the same as all the other summers he had endured on Private Drive, as soon as he'd stepped in the door his Uncle Vernon had locked his school trunk in the cupboard under the stairs and Aunt Petunia had stuffed a list of chores into his hand.

After he had cooked the Dursleys dinner and washed the dishes he'd gone up stairs and fallen asleep.

That was where all similarities with previous summers had ended. When he had woken up the next morning he'd taken a quick shower and had arrived in the kitchen to find that breakfast had already been cooked, the pots and pans cleaned, and all other gardening chores had likewise been taken care off.

Shrugging Harry had vacated the premises with his entire chores lit already done for him he wasn't going to stick around, if his fairy godmother was going to do the chores for him, he wasn't going to wait for the Dursleys to make up more busy work.

Taking some of the money he had received from the sale of the Basilisk parts he had bought himself a ticket to France; he'd heard wonderful things about their beaches and with the puberty monster having visited him, he was going to take full advantage of his trip.

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"Agents Socks report!"

"Yes, Miss Lunie ma'am!" piped up a squeaky voice from about elbow high. "Harry Potter sir, left Harry Potter sirs' house and got on a big boat to France."

"Excellent, excellent, Agent Socks good work. Agent Mouse report!"

"I wish you'd give me a cooler call sign Luna." A rather mousey looking boy whined.

Hands on hips, Luna shot a glare, with a capitol G, at Colin, "Report Agent Mouse!" she growled.

Sighing at the futility of trying to change Luna's mind, Colin began his report, "Agent Socks and I managed to collect enough hair from Harry's hairbrush to polyjuice into him for the next two weeks."

"Yes and Dobby has the polyjuice potion Harry Potter sirs' Grangy made in creepy ghosty girl's bathroom!" Dobby squeaked exited at the thought of helping Harry Potter.

"Excellent, excellent!" Luna rubbed her hands together. "I love it when a plan comes together! Agent Ginger Spice report!"

Sighing exasperatedly at her call sign, Ginny never the less gave her report, "Harry has made plans to visit all the beaches in France… the clothing optional ones included. Also my dad won some gold so we're off to visit Bill in Egypt, and I won't be able to attend the meetings until the last few weeks of summer."

Stroking her fake goatee Luna pondered this new development. In the end she shrugged, and replied rather dreamily, "Have fun Agent Ginger Spice, watch out for nargles they're epically active this time of year in Egypt. Also if you spot any Wrakemongos make sure to bring me a specimen."

The meeting having concluded the various members of Harry Potter's secret fan club dispersed.

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Wednesday of the second week of summer, The Harry Potter Fan club secret Clubhouse

"Agent Mouse report!" Luna demanded imperiously while stroking a very big, bandy-legged, ginger-coloured cat with a squashed head.

"Um… Grandmaster, Special Agent 007, Sky Marshal, of the Power Rangers special branch Luna did you steal Hermione Granger's cat?"

Glancing absently at the majestic cat she was stroking and then looking back at Colin, Luna shrugged. "Agent Lion, Master of Ceremonies, joined us last week." Smiling dreamily Luna continued, "It's in the leadership handbook that all grand leaders must have a cat to stroke while plotting."

Colin squeezed his eyes shut and decided to ignore Crookshanks before something Luna had said stuck a chord.

"Um… Luna what handbook are you reading."

"Hmm?" Luna asked absently. "Oh these handbooks," Luna said pulling two tattered handbooks from between the seat cushions.

Starting Your Own Evil Organization for World Domination for Dummies

Promoting Loyalty and instilling Mindless Tendencies in Your Minions for Dummies.

Pinching the bridge of his nose Colin, shook his head, "Repress, repress, Luna is not going to conquer the world, repress, repress you did not join an evil organization bent on world domination, repress, repress."

With those disturbing thoughts full suppressed, Colin took a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh, he finally delivered his report. "The Dursleys are facing charges of child endangerment and violation of child labor laws," Colin reported.

"Yes, and Dobby be taking pictures to show the Policy Men the very bad Durselys treating Harry Potter sir bad!" Dobby said happily.

Luna'd had to explain to Dobby very carefully why he couldn't just hurt the Dursleys but in the end he had understood.

Rubbing her hands together Luna smiled beautifully. "Soon, soon, all my plans will—"

"Missy Lunie, ma'am!" Dobby squeaked urgently while holding up the Daily Prophet. "Bad Man escape prison!"

"Hmm." Luna pondered. 'Escaped Azkaban prisoner… how to turn this to her advantage, well the club did need a new enforcer, the last one had not turned out very well. Who knew that the Nundu was such a scaredy-cat, come to think of it the eldritch monstrosity had looked a bit shaken after the initiation ceremony.' Luna shrugged, 'they just didn't make arcane monsters like they used to.'

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When Harry finally got back from his well-earned vacation, he arrived to a surprising scene. Standing there on Number 4's front lawn was a skinny, pale, and underfed version of himself from earlier in the summer.

He blinked twice, rubbed his eyes, sighed and turned back around and left. "I knew I shouldn't have had that last drink. Sure the worm was supposed to be there, I bet they tell that to all the tourists." He muttered half disgruntled.

"Maybe, I should have withdrawn more money and just stayed in France." Shaking his head Harry remembered the reasons he hadn't just splurged for a longer vacation.

While the Wizarding world didn't keep a tight reign on underage minors' activities, the muggle world did which sharply limited what he could do in the muggle world. And unlike the muggle world, Harry was easily recognized in the Wizarding world which again limited what he could do for fun without being picked up and shipped back under watch.

"Next time I'll need to get some polyjuice potion to take on vacation with me," those casinos had looked like they would be loads of fun, pity they'd had an age limit. "Maybe, I'll visit Spain, next. Those delightful French girls had wonderful things to say about Ibiza, also I probably should not leave my wand behind again."

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Colin had been so shocked by the sudden appearance of his idol that he had frozen, the hedge trimmers clutched tightly in his hands.

"Pisst! Mouse! Pisst!" a high pitched squeak demanded Colin's attention.

"Wha-?" Still half shocked Colin's answer was less than coherent.

"Policy men, are coming!" Dobby told Colin urgently.

Colin slapped his cheeks and shook his head to clear it; the plan was still going forward.

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Harry finally arrived back at the Dursleys later that night, fully awake and aware of his surroundings. He opened the door carefully and quietly snuck up to his room.

He woke up the next morning and found an already cooked breakfast sitting on the table along with an envelope. Taking the letter out he read it while snacking on an expertly butter piece of toast.

Dear Mr. Potter,

It has come to our attention that the Dursley family is unfit to host such a prestigious individual as yourself and so we have taken the liberty of relocating the Dursleys for the remainder of the summer. Please enjoy the rest of your summer holidays.

Sincerely,

Madam Periwinkle Anonymous Woodbeard

Next to the letter announcing his freedom from the Dursleys for the rest of the summer, Harry found a copy of the local Surrey paper and the Daily Prophet.

Splashed across the morning edition of the Surrey newspaper was the snarling face of Vernon Dursley as he was hauled out a patrol car, with a head line announcing the arrest of a local Surrey citizen being arrest for a whole host of charges including but not limited to embezzlement, child endangerment, tax evasion, child abuse, and fraud.

The Daily Prophet on the other hand merely had a small article on the third page announcing the arrest of Harry Potter's muggle relative and Harry's limited emancipation.

Harry smiled this was turning out to be the best summer he'd ever experienced.

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"Agent Socks, report!"

"Ay, ay Grandmaster, General, Chief Inspector, Missy Lunie, ma'am!" Dobby saluted diligently, dressed in an eye searing tie-dyed, neon colored, shirt with what appeared to be dozens of socks on his feet and ears.

"Dobby reports that Harry Potter sir is home! Dobby made Harry Potter sir breakfast and cleaned!" As Dobby's thoughts began to wander away into ecstasy at having been able to serve his hero he remembered something he vaguely thought might be important.

"Oh! And Dobby spotted this weird dog man watching Harry Potter sir!" Dobby said as he placed an underfed, dirty haired, large black dog in front of Luna.

Momentarily taking a hand away from stoking the ginger bristles of Agent Tiger (formerly known as Agent Lion), Luna causally waved her wand over the dog, who morphed to reveal a man with a gaunt, sunken face, waxy skin, yellow teeth, and long, matted hair.

Looking around startled awake from the forced transformation Sirius Black caught sight of Luna out of the corner of his eye. He stared for a minute, wrapping his mind around the sight of the blonde haired girl, wearing an eye patch and sitting on a large throne while stroking a squashed faced cat

"Lovegood?" he asked in a resign tone.

Luna smiled at being recognized on sight, it was always great when a new vic— subject recognized her authority without her having to tell them.

"Hello Mr. Boardman. Why were you stalking Harry Potter?" she asked dreamily.

Looking indignant Sirius responded, "I was not stalking Harry, I was just checking up on my godson!" He didn't correct the Lovegood on his name since they were notorious for ignoring inconvenient facts, well that and the fact that the story of what happened to the last individual who tried to forcibly correct a Lovegood still sent shudders down his spine.

While he had no problem being considered a mass murderer (really it came with the territory; he'd be hard pressed to find a single Black family member who didn't have blood on his or her hands, most of his cellmates in Azkaban had been family after all) the absolute last thing he wanted was to be considered a pedophile, he well remembered what happened to those guys in the yard during recess.

"Hmm, Luna considered his claim, once again stroking the fake blue goatee that had suddenly appeared on her chin. Nodding to herself, Luna informed the escaped prisoner, "Daddy always said you were innocent, he thinks it part of the Rotfang conspiracy."

Eyeing the man speculatively, Luna leaned forward, automatically adjusting the lighting so that the top half of her face was covered in shadows in a sinister manner, she eagerly asked him, "How would you like to come work for me, Mr. Boardman?"

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Author's note: I'd like to thank Slytherin66 for his ideas which helped me to write this chapter faster. Also thanks to everyone else who reviewed the first chapter for the encouraging reviews. Any suggestions are welcomed, while I have an outline I'm working from it's very flexible at the moment.

Also I'm going to ignore all mention of blood wards since they seem utterly useless to me except for that one and only instance where Voldemort tried to physically show up at Harry's house.