Barney's kneeling on the floor by her closest door. His head is resting on the doorframe, eyes closed, asleep.
He can't stay asleep. Thinking of him while Ted ranted has her needy for him. Desperate really.
She straddles him, rubs against him and kisses him sloppily aiming for his mouth but often missing.
His eyes slowly blink open, still hooded by sleep and alcohol.
"Scchh'ba'kyy," he drunkenly greets her.
She kisses him again and he groans in agreement.
Finally she manages to get his pants undone.
He's really hard and she groans in satisfaction as she sinks onto him.
She keeps sliding off of him, ass hitting the floor. When it happens for the sixth time she decides enough is enough. He's still kneeling in front of her, not really doing anything just taking it, and this position isn't working for either of them.
"Wake up!" she smacks him on the face, a little harder than she means. Barney startles; eyes immediately open and meeting hers in a kind of puzzled astonishment.
"Sex time," she urges and admonishes.
Somehow they're standing, both giggling hysterically because as they try to walk they're knocking into each other, dangerously close to collapsing on Robin's bedroom floor.
Barney falls backward onto Robin's bed and pulls her on top of him. The sex is messy, if you can even call it sex. He half manages it a couple of times and they're both drunk enough that they mumble things like "oh yeah" and "harder" and "fuck".
They fall asleep like that, half hanging off the bed, Robin sprawled across Barney.
He wakes up first. He's almost relieved the memories are still there, he'd hate himself forever if he managed to finally have sex with Robin and forget about it.
Normally at times like these he'd sneak out. For one thing: hello, it was a drunken one night stand. For another thing it's a little hazy, but he's pretty sure the sex wasn't that great. They'd had way too much alcohol for it to make a good lasting impression. Not that he doesn't want to do it again.
Finally, there's the biggest issue of all: the weight of Robin's body is literally tethering him to her bed. Even Barney Stinson, king of one night stands and no strings attached sex, can't figure out how to untangle himself without her waking up.
He decides that the simplest solution is just to lie there until Robin wakes up and follow her lead. Plus, it's not all bad. She's naked and gorgeous and he can feel the warmth of her radiating down on him. It's kind of nice.
When she wakes up it takes her a minute to remember. First, she remembers the alcohol because she's so hungover she's worried about moving. Next, she remembers Barney, because she's lying ontop of him and he's kind of hard to miss.
She closes her eyes quickly and feigns sleep for a minute her mind going into overdrive as she tries to figure out what to do. How do you act when you've just had drunken sex with one of the better (not best she automatically recalls) friends of your ex-boyfriend who also happens to be your roommate? Yeah she guesses this doesn't happen that often.
Robin finally gives up on coming up with any sort of a solution. Maybe she'll just see how Barney acts. She's actually kind of surprised he's still here. Of course, she is practically crushing him so maybe it's not that surprising. She's startled when she realizes that despite the five minutes or so of awkward pondering never did she think it weird that she was lying naked on top of him.
She blinks her eyes open and cautiously tilts her head upward to look at him, the movement causing her to become more concerned about her pounding head then about the man underneath her.
Barney's awake and he's smirking at her.
Typical.
"So…" she says awkwardly.
He grins, "Nice to see you've finally decided to wake up".
"Shut up," she mutters even though she can't help smirking back.
She attempts to roll off of him which is surprisingly hard to do when you're naked and trying not to jostle your head too much.
As her thigh slides across his body his reaction is impossible to miss.
"Really?" she grunts, pressing her hand on her stomach to still a wave of nausea.
"Robin," he raises an eyebrow at her like she's an idiot, "you're hot".
She has to grin at that. Robin lets out a short laugh then realizes it was a massive mistake as it jostles her stomach. She barely makes it to the trashcan in the corner of her room.
"Okay," he concedes, still from his place on the bed, "less hot now".
She glares at him from across the room, standing unsteadily and grabbing a tissue from her nightstand to wipe her mouth.
"I said less hot Robin!" he props himself up on his elbow, "I'd still totally tap that".
She can't help her reaction. Somehow she feels…comforted…by that. Which is totally ridiculous because didn't he just insult her? And it's not like he's really done anything to make her feel better. Not that she expects it from him.
"Come back to bed," he urges.
She's surprised that he's encouraging that, surprised that he hasn't escaped her room now that the weight of her body is no longer forcing him to stay.
He's not sure why he said that. It's just she looks so miserable with her bleary eyes and the scrunched up tissue in her hand. And he kind of wants to…make her feel better or something. No, no, he just wants to sleep more. That's it, her bed is comfortable and he wants to sleep. He doesn't care about Robin.
Robin starts to walk carefully back to the bed. He notices that their clothes are scattered at her feet.
"Toss me my pants!" he orders.
She looks annoyed and grumbles as she carefully bends down to grab his pants.
Robin realizes she's less frustrated by the fact that he just ordered her to do something and more frustrated by the fact that it mean he's leaving. How fucked up is that?
She hands him his pants as she collapses back into bed. She decides she's too hungover to bother with Barney's mind games.
He digs around in his pant pocket until his hand closes around the packet. He draws it out carefully and pops a piece into his hand.
"Robin?"
She turns to look at him.
"Here".
She looks at him with slight concern, wondering what game he's playing. Then she looks down at her hand.
She's holding a stick of gum.
Robin can't help it, she feels a little pang of something. She's not sure what, but definitely something.
"Thanks," she mutters as she shoves the gum into her mouth, relieved by the minty flavor.
He's not sure if he gave it to her to make her feel better or to make him feel less grossed out. He decides on the latter even though he's pretty sure it was the first one.
"Come here," he grumbles and he tugs her a little towards him.
She's startled when she feels his hand tracing patterns on his back. What is this? No way in hell is Barney a cuddler. Still, she accepts it, lets her eyes drift shut because of course she's hungover. Hungover from too much scotch and champagne and Barney.
